Scary Film Review: April 2010

Friday, April 30, 2010

End of the Month Death Toll April 2010 Edition

Monday, April 26, 2010

From The Mailbag End of April 2010 Edition

As I stated last month, I'm doing these comment posts more often. I'd like to thank everyone that has left comments, and continues to support this site. I would one day like to have my own domain name and do all kinds of cool stuff, but I just can't do it right now.

I'm still looking for a job, and am having a hard time in my new city, but this site brings me about $2 a month so I haven't starved yet. Ramen is dirt cheap...that's all I can say about that.

Here are the comments for the second half of April.

Anonymous said in regards to my post: "Cheerleader Massacre Review":

That movie looks really stupid.

Thanks for the review, dude.

Honestly, it was a lot better than some of the other straight to dvd features that I've seen for this website. Thanks for the comment.

magicreation has left a comment on my post: "High Tension Review":

this movie is hardcore & brutal. the torture scenes are intense and that's why I loved it! the ending does have that WTF factor, but I don't feel it was tacked on. you defiantly need to watch the original French version. the American dubbed and edited version just doesn't cut it!!!

Terr

I liked the original version, I thought it was insane. I still love this film, even though many people disagree with the notion. The ending was a bit tacked on, but I loved the musical editing and the classic yellow car chase seen was just superb.

That's the end of the comments for this month, thanks again for commenting. I'm trying to get more film to review. If you guys have suggestions send them my way.

Friday, April 23, 2010

The Omen: 666 Review

In 2006 a remake of The Omen was made and was released on 6/6/06 which was scary, right? Not really. Unfortunately The Omen came and went and it wasn’t all that thrilling, although completely updated with all new contemporary style and film grain. I still think there is a creep value to the Omen Ramake, and it has some visual qualities that you can’t deny, but overall, it’s not nearly as creepy as the original, nor is it even on par with the lackluster sequels that made the film series a cult favorite; which is a shame if you ask me.

This film is interesting, at least in the way it starts. I really find the visual style is well done, and I find that there is a certain creepy factor about having a child surrounded by Catholism. The very beginnings of this film involve the Vatican, the pope, and the end of the world, slicing in images of what is to be the end of the world, and it is somewhat interesting to see, but if you’re not religiously inclined, you’ll most likely pass it off as something not really all that interesting. Here is where the visual qualities of the film trump a lot of other films in the horror genre.

The film goes through the same sort of motions that the original does, and we start to see the blossoming of the devil, Damien, or rather the son of the devil on earth. While most of the film deals with the beginnings, the second half starts to get really creepy as the story unfolds and the main character, Robert Thorn starts to figure out what is truly going on with his son.

One of the best parts of the film is the journey that Robert takes to meet with a scary monk that has been burned alive. The rowing of the boat, the snow that is being dropped, the fog, and the white robes makes for one of the most spooky and clever relationships between metaphor and visual sound you’ll see in horror. That doesn’t save the film, but I loved the way it looked.

As the movie continues, people start getting killed left and right as Damien wants to take over. As the scenes start to fade and the death toll rises, the film starts to erupt with a sense of “ending” and collapse, but the story doesn’t truly manifest until the very closing moments, where the camera, much like the original film captures a smiling evil boy, ready for the sequel to continue the story.

Is The Omen: 666 a Scary Film: No.

While I’m a Christian and I like to think that the devil incarnate will spark the end of the world, I don’t find this film too scary. It’s an interesting narrative, but it doesn’t fit the horror theme that the original held. I like how the visual style tried to tell a story, but it is nothing like Dario Argento’s work in terms of visual language.

While the soundtrack had some major key moments that can even rival The Dark Knight at times, it didn’t really make the film all that better to talk about or explore on a whole.

The Omen remake is ok at best, but it falls short of being as creepy as the first. It doesn’t deliver in terms of nudity, gore, or even pacing and leaves a lot to be desired. While I did find the visual language appealing, it’s really not something I’m going to recommended.

On a sidenote, I used to think Julia Stiles was hot. And this movie made me think something else, I guess that's what happens when you grow up.

I do admit, her bath tub scene was quite sexy, despite the creep factor involved.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

REWIND: Population 436 Revew

Well, this is an older review, but it should be interesting to the new reader...all 1 of you. This film came out and it featured Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit fame. It's interesting to note that he doesn't do half bad.

This movie is scarier to me now, then it was before, simply because I live in a city with a population of less than 20,000 people. So much so that I can't even find a job...any job...and am broker than broke.

Anyways, I've had a hard day today, so check out this review, and I'll return with more random crap.

Population 436 is a movie that a lot of people just dismissed right away. So much in fact, that when I was working at a video store for a few years, no one would trust me on the recommendation, and only a select few watched this film. So it sat next to some other horror movies that we cycled through the new release wall, even though they weren't new releases by any stretch of the imagination. We were a weird video store like that, always cycling through what were obviously not new releases, and trying to squeeze an extra buck out of them.

But back to the topic at hand, Population 436; the story revolves around a man named Steve Kady (played by Jaremy Sisto of Six Feet Under fame), traveling through a remote part of the country to talk about the population of a small town, and along the way discovers some bad things.

But before I jump to the bad things, let us consider another story…and I’ll tie it in, don’t worry.

The Lottery was a story where the population control was being implemented by shooting someone via a lethal lottery system.

This movie basically copies the premise and then switches it out a little. The story takes another piece from the movie Dolls, which I reviewed on this blog earlier this year.

Every time someone breaks down outside of the city, they are welcomed into the flock as a replacement for someone that has just passed away. Keeping the population at 436, and becoming an oddity, and therefore forcing the main character to come to the town and fill the void.

The movie really takes a high road in the middle, where the guy from the Census Bureau gets caught up with a local woman, who attempts to help him escape, as revelations of the city are more pronounced to him. He manages to skirt leaving, but the sheriff’s won’t allow such a thing, and this is where you will want to set the brakes on this independent horror film.

Here’s a trailer for the film, Population 436:

Just when I thought this film couldn't get worse, or steal more from others, enter none other than the singer of the band Limp Bizkit. That’s right, Fred Durst is seen in this film as Johnny law, and we’re treated to his acting abilities. I must admit, I didn’t think this film was going to be that good, but he pulled off his role quite nicely, and the rest of the cast tried their best to work with this convoluted storyline of time and space. It really had its problems, and well, it just was lame towards the end.

Steve begins to try to get out of the place, and convinces a young girl to help him do it. Together they forge a plan which ties up law enforcement, and gets him out alive.

This movie could have ended with him just leaving, but the camera turns towards the entrance of the town, where a car has appeared and a flat tire has ensued. Forcing a pair to take Steve and his accomplices place, returning the population to the normal number, and completing the beginning, middle, beginning, end cycle.
Wow, that was a lot of text, I’m sorry.

The movie isn’t that great, but it is palpable enough to be better than most of the films that you find on the Sci-Fi channel. This film, might at one point have been produced with that in mind, and it works well. The camera work is steady, the production values are somewhat good, and the actor that plays Steve, really tries hard not to mess up what could be one of the worst roles ever taken.

I’m not even that upset that Fred Durst shows up in this film.

There is a creepy nature to this town, but the resemblance to The Lottery by Shirley Jackson, is just too much for me, and I begin to wonder if that’s why this movie was intentionally buried at time of release.

Overall, Population 436 is not something that you’re going to be clawing your way to get, but if you’re a collector of all things Tales From The Crypt, maybe it’s something you want to invest your money into. I’m sure you can find it online and in our store for cheaper than most dvd’s, and for you horror freaks, you’ll welcome Population 436 to your dvd collection.

This film has its problems, but so do a lot of other films. I didn’t find it too bad, so rent before you buy.

If you enjoyed that film, or just are interested in more of these sub-standard films, check out the following for a great time, especially with Friday June 13th 2008 coming up!

Demon Knight via Amazon.com
Bordello of Blood via Amazon.com
The Plague via Amazon.com
Ritual via Amazon.com
Tales From The Crypt Series via Amazon.com
The Faculty via Amazon.com

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Idle Hands Review

The horror comedy genre doesn’t get a lot of serious contenders, at least not in modern times. However, Idle Hands does a good job at patching together a framework of both horror and comedy, that is worth taking another look at. Sure, it’s a teen comedy of sorts, but it’s done with a sense of gore and horror that only the 1980’s could match.

Idle Hands has some serious gore effects, and is surprising for a movie that is marketed to teenagers, and in recent years is only remembered as one of Jessica Alba’s first major roles. The movie revolves around a teen that is in way over his head when his hand becomes possessed by the devil and starts killing off his friends and family.

The movie mixes between two different genres, and does it somewhat well. There are zombie movie aspects, slasher film, and thriller aspects all rolled into one. The movie breaks the frame work set by a lot of traditional horror films, making this movie a lot more dialogue heavy than most people are going to be used to. Some of the lines are quick one liners that are usually reserved only for these types of films.

The music in the movie is set to a classic late 80’s mid 90’s alternative rock radio theme. From Motley Crue (Shout at the Devil) to Sublime (What I Got) to Rancid (Bloodclot) you’ll find the soundtrack is actually halfway decent overall.

Is Idle Hands Scary? : No.

This movie is not scary at all. Yes, it has a lot of horror elements, and yes there are some great gore effects, but it’s not ascary movie. I don’t even feel that the makers were trying to make it scary, they were just trying to mix horror and comedy. Demonic possessions is scary, but this film isn’t necessarily a fright fest at all.

I appreciated the pace of the film, I liked how the elements worked together in terms of parody and tribute at the same time. Idle Hands holds up well compared to a lot of other random horror movies. There is a mixed bag of comedic elements, musical cues, and horror movie elements that will keep any diehard fan slightly entertained, while keeping the better halves watching horror with you.

I’d recommend Idle Hands for at least one or two viewings, and even owning. I don’t think it’s going to be listed as the best horror movies anytime soon, but it’s not half bad. I liked it. I guess I’m getting soft.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Cheerleader Massacre Review

I saw the box art to this film, and I immediately thought it was the 1980’s classic slasher. However, I didn’t take the time to look at the back of the box or read any more information. The movie is NOT the 80’s slasher, but more over it is a 2003 sequel of sorts and appears to be yet another straight to dvd horror movie. I had high hopes for this film, and while there were some saving graces, the majority of this film is a low budget nightmare, that once again proves the B-Movie is dead in modern times. Cheerleader Massacre has a lot of classic 80's plot twists, but it doesn't look and feel like it at times, which really makes it hard to recommend.

The movie revolves around a serial killer that is stalking teenage high school students. There’s a secondary story line that is revealed concerning an old police officer that helped capture the killer after a rampage several decades ago. The movie tries to tie it all together in a nice even package, but doesn’t manage to work through too well. The main cast of characters are 20-something at best, and not high school students. They are far more, developed, than high school students and painfully obvious.

The movie’s plot follows traditional methods. The crew gets lost on a way to a cheerleading trip in the woods, and find an abandoned cabin. They then are the main victims of the serial killer, but not before they start having sex, taking slow, methodical showers, and trying their best to revisit what made the 1980’s great.

This movie is forced on all levels. The acting is bad, in fact sinister at times. There are very few actors in this film that can deliver convincing lines. The editing is ok, and the film grain and lighting is better than most straight to dvd movies I’ve seen in recent years. There is some real film making offered in this film, and I give the makers credit for that. I didn’t completely hate the way the film was made, as it did have a sort of “soap opera” tone to it. There were some legitimate contenders for real quality artistic shots in this film, which made me like some parts.

There is a lot of nudity in this film, well, standard nudity. The women aren’t necessarily up to par with the 1980’s women, but hey, there’s nudity here and some people will definitely enjoy that.

There is little to no gore in this film. Yes, there is some gore, but nothing like you’d expect from a slasher film. Considering the film is straight to dvd, you would figure that there’d be more gore involved, but there isn’t really a whole lot to offer in terms of gore and effects.

Is Cheerleader Massacre Scary? : No.

A hell no! This movie is not scary, and at times it resembles a porno movie more than a horror film. While I appreciated the gratuitous nudity at times, I didn’t find it interesting enough to love this film. I found that there were distinct moments that gave me a headache, and wouldn’t recommend this to anyone.

While I do find the camp value and horror tradition alive and well in this film, I didn’t have as much fun as I assumed I would from the box cover. Is it terrible? No. Is it good? No. Cheerleader Massacre is not a great film, but it has enough music, and film making aptitude to check out if you have nothing else to watch.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

From The Mail Bag Mid April Edition

Anonymous has left a new comment on the post "28 Weeks Later Review":

very good movie, like too see u direct

Me?

Direct?

I'm an idiot. You don't want me to do it.

28 Weeks Later sucked.

That's it for the mail bag. Apparently no one is commenting, and I'm not writing nearly as much. I guess it's hard when you have no future.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Brotherhood of Blood Review

Brotherhood of Blood is a 2007 horror film, starring Victoria Pratt, Sid Haig and Ken Foree, directed by Peter Scheerer and Michael Roesch and guess what? It sucks.

Man this Vampire movie tries so hard to be good but it really didn't keep my attention at all.

I like Sid Haig in his role as Captain Spaulding, but it seems like when he is outside of that role he's just disastrous to say the least. A group of vampires are trying to take out a nest of vampires and they seem to be having a hard time, but when they get one of the major players, the terror really starts to begin.

They called this film a claustrophobic vampire film, but instead, it's a slow moving piece of straight to dvd horror. I really couldn't have cared less about this piece of junk film.

Was it worth watching?

No.

Was it scary?

No.

I don't like it, I'm sorry.

The next review should have some more gusto, it'll be a real treat for you (all 3 readers) and myself alike.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

REWIND: Snuff Documentary Review

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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

REWIND: The Top 10 Bodily Explosions

Horror movies are known for a lot of gore at times. I for one enjoy a good gore scene, however some are better than others. Recently, Fearnet.com, posted a list of the best bodily explosions ever recorded onto film. Some are from horror films, some are from general release films, but one thing is for sure, bodily explosions are a staple in horror cinema.

Here’s their top 10 list, with links on where to purchase them, and finally, a link to where you can see some gruesome photos as proof.

10. Terror Firmer

9. Chopping Mall

8. Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland

7. Planet Terrror

6. Total Recall

5. War of the Worlds

4. Raiders of the Lost Ark

3. Cloverfield

2. Scanners

1. Dawn of the Dead

Obviously these films have some major gore in them, however, there are definitely other films that I would mention on the list. I think that there is a TON of films that have exploding body parts, heads, and body functions that aren't exactly easy to watch sometimes Fearnet.com has some photos from these films, if you're interested, otherwise I would suggest purchasing these and finding out what the hype is all about.

I wanted to post my own top 10, but honestly, I drew a blank when it comes to body explosions. I could name a few, but I'll save that for another place and another time.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Gone The Way Of The Flesh Review

It's a shame that I can't come up with a lot of good things to say about horror movies anymore. Or rather, it's a shame that I have to review solid pieces of turd like this film. Gone The Way of the Flesh is one of the worst horror movies I've seen in a long time. You thought Black Devil Doll was bad, wait till you get a load of this piece of junk.

My problems with the film began with the two camera switching. There is one HD looking camera and one low-def camera and the editing switches between the two, and it's miserable.

The story? What story?

I'll let the pro's handle this one:

The story of a mysterious killer with a blood-lust for rock n roll groupies. A local town is outraged as underage female fans start turning up in pieces after live performances by The Jason Martinko Revue. It is up to one detective to rid his city of this traveling roadshow of filth, as he struggles to overcome numerous addictions. So if you like nudity, drugs, violence, filth & rock 'n roll

This movie gave me a headache. I haven't seen such a poorly executed film in a long time. I'd rather watch British Horror than this piece of junk that's for sure.

I'm not even going to dignify it with much more...man I hate watching these terrible films.

On the second hand, there was a lot of Nudity, lots of fetish stuff. I guess that gets 1 star.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Cry Wolf Review

I don't usually buy into a lot of advertising, in fact, I avoid a lot of it, but when I saw the trailer for Cry Wolf, I bought it hook line and sinker. It looked like the kind of slasher film that I can get into. However, after watching it, I found that it sucked...and you know what? Doesn't deserve a whole lot.

The film revolves around a series of killings that are going on at a college campus and no one knows why. It appears that someone is stalking co-eds and things are getting really bad. The dvd I got said it was "unrated" but featured little to no gore, and no major nudity that I can recall. Why was it unrated? I have no idea, but they duped me.

To make matters worse, John Bon Jovi is in this film! He makes a major pivotal wrong move at the end, and I really wanted to bash my television in. This film is does the bait and switch thing so well that I almost gave up on horror as a genre. I've never seen a film marketed so well, just to drop the ball in the delivery.

Cry Wolf is one of my least favorite films of recent memory and I can't believe I wasted my time reviewing and watching this film. Maybe you'll enjoy it, I know I didn't.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Monthly Death Toll March 2010 Edition