Monday, April 20, 2009

Retro Horror Double Feature Review

Cannibal Campout

I had some spare time so I took a small dive into trying to watch a couple of retro horror movies from the 80's. I may have tried to dive into these films before for the site, but I don't remember doing reviews for them. I will tell you this much, once again these movies aren't going to get the royal treatment from me. They aren't worth it, they are just not worth it.

We'll Start up with Cannibal Campout.

The first thing you are going to notice about this film is the quality of the recording. The recording is really low budget, even for the 80's. I don't just mean random low budget crap, this is like handy-cam footage with very little lighting effects, or even attempts at helping the sound. There is no foley, there is just a handy-cam, most likely recorded on vhs and the actors. This is a terrible thing, trust me. The movie gets worse and worse as it progresses.

The movie is about some nasty hillbillies who prey on campers as they come to visit the camp site. That's all you need to know because the rest of the film's storyline is really convoluted to the point where I'm not really sure these guys even had a story to tell.

Then we get to why you might want to watch this movie. It's the gore. This movie has buckets of gore, serious buckets of gore. Pointless at times, but serious amounts of guts, and I do mean entrails and eating. There are people eating other people, there are gunshot wounds, there are is everything you could possibly want from this type of movie. It's a gorefest of sorts, and it's the only reason why you would even want to try to watch this movie. The movie is so graphic, so violent, that I don't even think it could be rated by the MPAA, it is just so out there.

If you really want a Cannibal Movie here you go, knock yourself out with Cannibal Campout. This is what you would probably dub as "trash core" or "gore core" because it really doesn't let up at all, once the blood starts director Jon McBride takes things to an all new level of horror that you never see anywhere else.

Here is also a trailer for the movie "Cannibal Campout" however, it's gorey so don't get offended. It's not for the weak of heart or easily offended...it's a rough gorey trailer.



If that wasn't enough for you, I decided to check out another film by Jon McBride it's called Woodchipper Massacre.

Woodchipper Massacre

Woodchipper Massacre might as well be the sequel to Cannibal Campout. This movie sucks so bad. However, we get the trademark McBride gore. Yes, we get to see every bucket of blood, scores of deaths and just a stupid amount of gore for apparently no reason.

The story is about a family that confronts a serial killer somewhere in Connecticut. Each of the actors are terrible, they are beyond terrible. Seriously, this is the worst attempt at a movie I've seen in a long time. This movie makes Ax'Em look like an Oscar contender.

I can't even go any further with this film. I don't know what else you would want to read from me on these two films. This film, much like the first film, has a gross amount of gore, and looks like it was taped on an old vhs tape, then dubbed onto another vhs tape to make a copy then transferred from a tape deck onto a dvd-r and then copied onto a dvd for you to buy/view. I'm not sure why they made this movie other than they did something.

I credit the actors, film makers and anyone involved with these 80's trash movies, because they didn't just sit around and consume media like many of us do, they made a MOVIE! Yes, it's a terrible movie, yes it is not worth watching, but they did it! How many of us can say we made a movie? Yeah, I know I haven't. Although, I was in a backyard wrestling federation for a while.

The final verdict on these 80's trash horror movies are terrible. Woodchipper Massacre and Cannibal Campout do what other movies don't dare to do, be stupify-ingly gorey. There is just nothing else to these movies. If you're a huge fan of gore, then you're in for a great treat, because these movies are full throttle horror gore movies.

Here is a trailer for Woodchipper Massacre, once again, not for the easily offended, so watch out.



Good luck when trying to view these two films, you'll need it.

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1 comment:

jervaise brooke hamster said...

Sir Jorge, Woodchipper Massacre is still 1000 times better than anything the British film industry has ever produced, never forget that, alright.