Monday, June 23, 2008

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter Review

Well, here we are folks, a mundane Monday and I bring for your consideration: Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. This movie is a cult hit amongst those that saw it on the Film Festival circuit, and film geeks that like to stump people in random arguments over who knows more obscure films than anyone else. This movie's premise seemed to be worth while, but really just fizzled out during the middle, and eventually became another lame movie to watch, when nothing else is on.

Jesus Christ is definitely one of my favorite subjects of all time, on a personal level. But in movie form, things have never been that great. In fact, most movies about Jesus are usually really bad, with the exception of a few here and there, the grand majority of films just don't do the Bible justice.

This one doesn't try to follow the bible, nor even conventional ideas at all. It is like a film student project gone wrong.

I'm not even sure where to start.

The movie revolves around Jesus teaming up with El Santos (A Santo rip off) to fight vampires. Along the way he does a little dance, sings a little song, and works his way through some of the of worst sexual innuendo, kung fu fights, and random run ins with goth kids with fangs. This film sucked.

If you could somehow get past those bad points, you will probably get caught up with the sound. The sound is re-dubbed, from English to English but with different voice overs, to make it sound like a kung-fu epic, rather than an action film. The actual film is also grainy, to give it that grindhouse feel, and it just doesn't work.

This movie just is sub-par in every way.

The only saving grace is that I didn't expect a whole lot from it, and while other horror movies are working with bigger budgets and are bad, this one is just bad with a low budget.

It is somewhat endearing to see Jesus mopping up, like an action star. But overall this hilarious take on Jesus is just too over the top. Then again, there's no other way to play this one out, it just has to be over the top.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is not the greatest dvd, but really, it's probably a lot better than The Passion of the Christ. I always liked to think of Jesus as being able to kick some ass...and in this film, although very awkward at times, shows our Lord and Savior as a cool dude.

Check this one out if you like Jesus and/or vampires or just skip it. You aren't missing out on a whole lot.

Check out these Vampire Flicks for some blood sucking cinema:

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust via
Fright Night via
Blacula via
From Dusk Til Dawn Via Amazon

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A writer first, cat lover second, and some other stuff too. Human, with lots of faults, and terrible communication.
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