Paranormal Activity 3 Review

(buy from amazon here)

I heard a lot about these movies and every year there are a lot of different ads being pushed about the movies. I’m not necessarily a big fan of scare tactics which is what the movie series is all about, well, that and shaking camera footage. If you guessed that I would be reviewing Paranormal Activity 3 than you are probably psychic or you read my post-it notes. I managed to sit through this sequel the other night instead of reading a book, and I am regretting it, but then again, I regret a lot of the movies that I end up watching for the main purpose of reviewing on this website. Sure, I’m a fan of horror, but some things are just awfully slow moving. With that in mind, here are my petty thoughts on this movie.

The movie is your classic haunting tale at first. A family goes into a house and bad things happened before. But that’s not how we are introduced, a box of videocassette tapes is delivered and through the footage strange things start to happen in the home. Is it a ghost? Is it an entity? I don’t know, but it sure is creepy when things start to happen.

You have to pay attention to what is going on throughout this movie. I turned away to stop my cats from killing each other and my girlfriend told me something crazy happened. I could’ve rewound the movie but why? This isn’t vhs era, man I miss those days. Remember the oversized porn boxes? They had cardboard trays inside, oh never mind. There are a lot of boring, things that you will find in this movie especially a lot of dead air. The camera moves left to right and no sound is heard, and at times only a sheet is seen. However, much like a “Where’s Waldo” book, you better be ready to notice what is going wrong, otherwise it’s very quiet.

By the time something really starts to happen, you don’t care, I know I didn’t. Sure there were some moments where evil seemed to takeover, but I didn’t really like it.

My main problem with this movie was that the entity in the movie focused at o ne point at harming a child. I always find that killing children, abusing them, and targeting them for the sake of horror or entertainment is just not something I want to enjoy. It bugs me. It’s odd because I have seen some sick stuff, including many graphic violent and rape scenes, but when you mess with a child, I start to lose interest. With the exception of “Who Can Kill a Child” in which the children were killing all adults and if it the sole survivor didn’t punch out a few children, he was a goner just like the rest of the party.

Paranormal Activity 3 is boring, yet effective. I can see why many people love it, but I don’t know if I loved it. No, I do know, I didn’t love it. It’s slow moving, it’s creepy, and well it’s boring. I did find the jump scares effective, but it really isn’t that great. Maybe you’ll disagree, and if so, drop me a line, otherwise, eh, it’s ok at best.



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Hellblazer Original Sins Book Review

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For fans of horror literature and comic books all the same there wasn’t a lot to love in the mainstream, although there were always graphic comics released in the underground. Then things started to unravel in the late 80s with a lot of super hero stuff getting dark, so some of the mighty comic companies put out a horror themed book that would change the face of one young reader’s mind (me), and that book was Hellblazer. We were introduced into a character that fascinates throughout the series and it all starts for new readers with Hellblazer: Original Sin a graphic novel for fans that haven’t picked up all the issues of this dying series from Vertigo.

Original Sins is the first 9 issues of the comic book series alongside Swamp Thing #76 and #77 towards the end. Readers get introduced to the series from the beginning and a little taste of where John Constantine first started out in another series, which is usually how these things work out. The character is a chain-smoking lad that comes from Liverpool and runs into demons, supernatural worlds, and gets into some dark subject matter that might offend youngsters and parents alike.

He’s a perfect portrait of an anti-hero, an ass of a man that is somehow cherished and dare I say loveable. He has flaws, but there is a good sense of caring written in to his mean streak as he looks into a variety of cases of the unreal. From the very first official issue of his series we find Constantine looking into the case of a demon possession through New York City much like many super hero characters before him. The demon in question jumps around and makes serious problems for our hero. He must get the help from a magic man named Papa Midnight who aligns himself from time to time with John to control demons and the likes. He got his own spinoff at one point.

As you continue to read Original Sins you start to go through the story of Constantine fighting demons in our world that are (for lack of a better word) yuppies by nature and are watching economic growth and the likes. Readers are introduced to a female character that saves the humanity of our antihero, her name is Zed and lets a bit of a foil come through when dealing with what is otherwise a solo project for Constantine. The book continues through story after story of religious and satanic entanglements and really poses to be an interesting arc of stories from the original issues before getting treated to a cool two-part Swam Thing story from the past.

Should You Buy John Constantine Hellblazer: Original Sins?

The short answer is YES.

The first volume of this fascinating series gives you a good taste of everything you’d want from a horror comic book. It includes original covers, sketches from the artists and if you’re a fan of Dave Mckeane than once again you will be treated to awesome artwork. Even though the series is going to be put to an end, you clearly see why it lasted so long with this first book collecting the first signs of life for the iconoclast. Vertigo does a great deal for fans of alternative graphic media, and I for one am a huge fan. John Constantine Hellblazer Original Sins is available by clicking here. It gets a 5 out of 5 rating in my humble opinion.

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If you want to support the efforts of this site, and me (sir jorge) you can do so by buying things on amazon through the links I provide, or you could donate some money via the link in the sidebar. If you would like to see LESS ads, you can subscribe to this website via the RSS feed link on the right. I am 100% freelance, and a pro-writer, I only write and go to grad school, so this site helps me get a cup of coffee and rent horror movies. Please help if you can, otherwise, enjoy the blog.

Texas Chainsaw 3D Review

Texas Chainsaw 3D Suckas!

True fans will love it; fake fans will call it stupid.

Last weekend I was excited, I took my girlfriend to see Texas Chainsaw 3D and was excited to see something horror related come to full release, and I was adamant about seeing it. I was reading early reviews on twitter and couldn’t believe how many people were trashing it, including a site that claims they review the “best horror movies” and I immediately went on a tirade to try and cajole people into having fun at the movies once again. I did get feedback from someone that listened to my cries for desperation and end up going through with it and they LOVED IT!

The movie follows up directly after where the first one ended, and it featured some of the same style of film making in the opening credits. The story follows a young girl that is the last female of the family that was killed after the original film concludes. The film features Tobe Hooper’s characters, Bill Moselely, and so many other original actors from the original, and I could’ve sworn that Tobe Hooper produced it according to the credits that rolled before the film, but I’m not 100% sure if that was the end result.

The movie followed a good overall story where the heir to the home of the original family of horror in Texas has a miserable time dealing with her cousin. When leather face realizes that she’s a family member he turns into a sort of antihero that punishes those that burned down his family’s home. The movie then leaves a gap open for subsequent sequels.

There are a lot of different pieces to this puzzle, but the most important parts are that we might get a new set of movies that are related to Tobe Hooper’s original characters. I thought the movie was fun, great, and full of good 3D jump-starts. I saw it in a sold out showing with a lot of African American teenagers and it was the most fun I’ve had in years. Not since Freddy vs. Jason have I fully endorsed seeing a movie in theaters with a crowd. I was rolling in my seat, enjoying myself, and just loved every minute.

Sure, there are dumb moments, sure there are parts that seem overly polished, and logic can easily be interjected to ruin the fun, but you know what?

This is NOT an Oscar movie; it’s a horror movie. If you didn’t like it, you don’t like the genre. It’s a fun romp, much different than the original, much more like the second movie with Dennis Hopper and a great continuation of the story. From what I read online Tobe Hooper loved it, and if anyone didn’t, screw you. I’m sick of all the negative reviews, people should see this if they are fans, and they did, #1 movie in American baby!

HELL YEAH!

Loved it. You will too.

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Top 5 Hardcore Revenge Horror Films

When it comes to certain genres of horror films, many people start to question their validity as pure entertainment. For instance, many people can’t stomach certain scenes in cinema that depict sexual situations that are of a “forced” nature. To put it bluntly, rape. There is nothing entertaining about that in the real world, yet the horror genre likes to put a spin on it, allowing viewers to see the atrocity in full view then come back with a punch to the balls of anyone that found it funny or even remotely entertaining. How do they do it? Simple. They introduce a revenge plot in which the raped woman or male in certain instances gets full revenge in the most cartoonish of ways, or in some cases the most atrocious of ways.

When thinking about hardcore revenge horror films, 5 stand out as some of the best and worst in many different ways. That’s why today we will be briefly spotlighting 5 of those movies that made me cringe or at least open my eyes wider as revenge is a dish best served piping hot full of shi……never mind.



#5 I Spit On Your Grave (1978) – This controversial movie came out with a brutal premise, but it doesn’t just go from bad times to bad times, there’s a reversal of roles and no sin is left unpunished. Well, unless you count the sin of low budget cinema and production flaws, but it was 1978, a different era in movie making, right? Anyways, this movie was remade, but lacked the substance and style of this original. If you are into genital mutilation revenge plots ala “Ricco The Mean Machine” then you have to look at t his one as one of the best examples of revenge!



#4 Last House on the Left (1972) – What was it with the 70s? Some of the most violent and disturbing images came out throughout those damn hippy years! Whatever the case is, Wes Craven proved to shock the movie world with a revenge kidnapping plot that had some more, well genital mutilation. This one is still worth checking out after all these years. Once again the remake doesn’t hold a candle to the original.



#3 Last House on the Beach (1978) – Eurotrash fans will love this classic tale that turns into a swift revenge plot. Teenage girls alone at a beach house are brutally messed up by thugs, and when one of the girls is skilled, our main heroine decides enough is enough and it’s time to get REVENGE!



#2 Northville Cemetery Massacre (1976) – Touted as one of the ultimate biker flicks of all time, this movie features a mix of all things exploitation film and all things revenge. You get a sense for violence where there are no heroes, and when the law rapes a young woman, it’s the lawless that have to man up and lay down, well….the LAW!



#1 Thriller: A Cruel Picture (1973) – This is the ultimate of all of the revenge films you’re going to see in regards to the premise of hardcore. This one takes the cake in a lot of ways. If you get the unrated version, this movie turns into a XXX romp; with a slow motion pop shot that is not only disturbing, but also very stimulating for those that like to see that sort of thing. One girl, one eye, one shotgun, and that’s all you need to know!

If you like revenge films, these are your #1 stunners, and they are definitely worth purchasing for your collection. If you’re going to buy anything from amazon, please click here to visit there and bookmark the page. It helps me keep writing about this stuff and it costs you nothing extra. Thank you.

5 Horror Movie Reviews You Missed

I’ve been hard at work writing this website for about 5 years now. It has lasted longer than most of my other attempts at writing on the web, with the exception of my WWE review website that I still have up and update from time to time. My love for horror movies started a young age and through my years I have made sure to write commentary, reviews, and all sorts of things online about them.

Since today I didn’t have time to review a full movie, I decided to talk about 5 horror movie reviews that you’re missing out on. With 750+ reviews done on this site, it can be a daunting task to read everything that I have posted. In order to compensate for that, here is a quick 5 horror movie reviews that you’re missing out on that you might want to look into.



#5 Jack Frost Review – It’s that time again for the wintertime, and you better believe I did reviews on a variety of holiday horror movies. I did it two years in a row looking for only that type of movie to talk about. Jack Frost is one of the better ones that I found, but that’s not saying a whole lot.



#4 LIfeforce – Today you can get this movie in a variety of different ways, but when I first wrote about it, that movie was hard to find and wasn’t going to be easy to get a hold of. Now, you can even find it through Netflix. Oh well, the review was up and is up rather, and my writing suffers when I am tired.



#3 Chaos (2005) – This rare out of print movie is the hardest movie I’ve ever seen at the time. However, a Serbian Film tips the scales because that movie is just pure evil. This one though, is hard to watch on a variety of levels. It’s probably one of the hardest non-pornographic movies I’ve seen ever.



#2 Basket Case 3 – I’m one of the few bloggers that wrote about this out of print movie long ago. I’m sure it’s now in print, but I remember having a poster on my wall of this film in High School, and always loved the premise of having a Siamese twin in a BASKET! This one is outlandish, and reminds me of a better time in horror movie history.



#1 Death Note – An under-appreciated film that really didn't live up to the hype, but maybe I should give it a second chance...I don't know.

Click through those 5 reviews from the past, and remember leave a comment anywhere and you can win The Walking Dead Season 1 and 2 on Blu Ray.

One last thing, if you’re gong to shop on Amazon.com please click here to visit that site and support the writing, blogging and career of yours truly. At the time of this writing I do nothing else but write for a living. I would prefer not to go back to the 9 to 5 world, but might have to if I can’t make these things work. So if you are going to shop at amazon click here, or visit the Best Horror Movie site here. Thank you.

The Best Horror Movies in 3D

The third dimension, that place that allows you to jump into the movies and be a part of the action, at least if your eyes don’t automatically correct everything you’re watching. I wear glasses, so every time I see a 3D movie, I end up seeing things from a 2D perspective. Damn you genes! Oh and damn you jeans! I like Dickies, but that’s neither here nor there, or underwear! SCORE!

Sorry.

The Best Horror Movies in 3D definitely has a lot of people arguing, and if you search the online world, you’ll find all sorts of opinions on the matter. I find that my top 5 list that will be found here will also bring about a lot of arguments. But let’s be civil and see what my personal pick of the best 5 horror movies in 3D are! (Make sure to comment if you want to win the prize this month)

#5 – Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3D



One year before I was born the people that made Jason a household name though that they could top the box office records set by their slasher film by throwing logic out of the window and selling those nifty paper and plastic lenses (the red and blue ones, those were rad) and what ensued was a maddening entrance of horror and slasher glory! This is by far one of my (5th actually) favorite movies in 3D! You can tell things were done for “cheese” factor because if it weren’t, someone would’ve been fired.

#4 – Saw VII: The Final Saw 3D



I still think that they can do “Son of Saw” or something, but whatever. The seventh film in the series, and the seventh movie that I plopped $12 to go see was done in 3D and I for one enjoyed myself. I loved the way the guts and stuff flew through the camera while I was trying to cut a hole in my popcorn…err…I didn’t really do that. I am not that smooth, and I don’t even remember seeing this with anyone. Saw VII is one of those movies that you either love or hate, and I for one didn’t hate it.

#3 – Amityville 3D



This movie came out and blew open the doors of the third dimension and made me as fall asleep. It was a remake that really wasn’t half bad, and even though I feel that the whole Amityville thing is overrated, they most certainly created a pretty cool landscape worth checking out again and again.

#2 – House of Wax 3D



It was the 1950s and while many chicks and dudes were making out in the backseat of their fancy cars, I’d like to think that there were some brave people watching House of Wax in 3D! Yep, this is a pretty cool upgrade to the original film, and it featured that classic Vincent Price take on horror. I might have said he was overrated in the past, but it’s pretty cool to see how this was part of the 3D horror landscape. It still holds up pretty well, and the music, well that’s the key to the thrills, right? Right?

#1 – Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare



I was 8 years old when this movie came out and was excited! My dad took me to see this awesome 3D movie and I bought into the whole 3D thing wearing my glasses through the whole thing. Even though the movie wasn’t amazing, it still had enough gusto to make my 8-year-old heart skip a beat here and there. It holds up ok, and the Iggy Pop song is still cool overall.

There you have it, my top 5 best 3D Horror Movies, what do you think? Leave me a comment and you could win The Walking Dead Season 1 & 2 on Blu Ray. Oh and please shop on amazon.com here, it will help me stay away from working a 9 to 5 and get more prizes for the months to come!

Scary Film Review December 2012 Contest: Win Walking Dead Season 1 and 2 Blu Ray

Scary Film Review has had a great year. Somehow, by some miracle we have established a nice fan base of a few readers that like to leave a few comments, go to the facebook page and bug me, and then completely ignore me as well.

Since this is the season of giving, I wanted to give back to all 7 of you that still come by the site to read my random thoughts on horror. This month of December 2012 if you leave a comment, you will be entered into a chance to win The Walking Dead 1 and The Walking Dead 2 on BLU RAY!



To enter, you must leave a comment on any of the reviews that I’ve posted before or will post in the month of December.

This time, around I will make sure to make a big announcement as to who will win or wins after the New Year comes through.

My hope for this site in December is to get more interest in this site.

As you might know I’m 100% freelance and do not work a traditional 9 to 5. I write for a living and the past few months have been exceptionally difficult. To combat that, I have been taking on more and more work, doing 7 day (10 hour+) shifts and am burning out.

If you would like to help my cause, check out the Amazon links, book mark them and use them for your holiday shopping.

That’s it.

Other than that, happy commenting! The more you comment, the more times I’ll throw your name into the hat.

Oh and PLEASE DO NOT SPAM the comments. Drop me a legit comment, suggestion or something along those lines. Recommend this site to a friend, link back to me, and say hello, I spend a lot of time on the web.

If you would like to donate to the cause, (my cause) and have extra dough, you can always email me for my paypal address and donate that way. Thanks again.

Rubber Review

I love a good independent film, but I haven’t seen a whole lot of greatness since I reviewed “Blood Car” all those years ago. This latest trek into grindhouse cinema was supposed to be a stellar flick with lots of gore, but instead, I fell asleep twice, and wondered if anyone could appreciate what is essentially the worst idea in horror. The movie I’m talking about right now is none other than Rubber.

Now, before I get some angry mail, I know that this is not a “serious” horror flick, but it poses itself as a comedic romp. The film directed by Quentin Dupieux looks great, and has a lot of great sequences in terms of cinema. The lighting, the close ups, editing, sound, and lots of mannerism between the tire and the exploding bodies that accrue through the film are quite well done all things considered. A lot of straight to dvd studios can learn a lot from the way that this film is shot and edited.

But just because this piece of crap is polished and is worth watching, doesn’t mean that you are getting some top-notch movie quality. In fact, this boring, slow moving movie had me falling asleep twice. I had to take 2 viewings to get through it all, and it is a BS.

If you watch this piece of crap, you will notice that the antagonist is nothing more than a tire. The tire plays villain through this film and it can be likened to a slasher flick in many ways. The slashings are insane, with heads blowing up, bodies fighting to stay alive, and random things. Every aspect of the film has the antagonist acting just like you would think a very smart villain would. The police finally gets into this film and we get into a major killing sequence in the end, and oh yes…. sequel material, but I won’t go into that aspect.

Rubber is not scary, it’s partially horror, and it moves about as slow as you would expect a tire to move. The film has a self-awareness to it that’s quite interesting, but overall, I don’t know if I would recommend this to everyone. It’s not that great, it’s kind of boring. Watch it if you want something original and off the wall, don’t watch it if you are into fast paced slasher or horror films.

Top 5 Worst Fathers in Horror

There are a lot of fathers that are sewn into the psyche of horror tradition. Most of them are not to be praised, and while I was compiling a list of great fatherly moments in horror, here are my top 5 worst fathers in horror for now. Just in time for Father’s day, here are my list of the top 5 worst ever!

#5 Captain Spaulding – The Devil’s Rejects, House of 1,000 Corpses – The killer clown persona takes on a whole new meaning when we are introduced to the worst father seen in a long time. The sadistic excuse for a shop owner and terror ride driver comes through firing off shots into the face of a would be killer in his first film role, then comes across as a dad trying to protect his daughter in the second. Spaulding for President is what I want my shirts to say, but alas, Captain Spaulding is a sick father who will do anything for a sick and twisted laugh. He’s not to be praised, but hey, he isn’t #1.

#4 The Stepfather – The Stepfather Trilogy – In the 1980’s a series of movies came through that took the traditional role of fatherhood and made it into a sickening place for those of us that went through divorce and had to deal with a new man in our lives. The Stepfather trilogy made us all appreciate a father that didn’t want to swindle and kill us all. The Stepfather did get a remake but the original creepster reigns supreme. Oh and how can you forget those posters?

#3 Ed Wilson – Natural Born Killers – While not a horror movie in the traditional sense, no one that saw the movie can deny that Rodney Dangerfield’s portrayal was insanity. What a scumbag and what a great role, he really put the boots to his daughter, and just made everyone uncomfortable in the theater at the time. Go back and watch it, you’ll swear it’s not the same person.

#2 Gus Gilbert – Pet Semetary 2 – Another stepfather in the list? Yeah, this is a sad state as we saw a terrible push forward, where Gus abuses and loses his sanity. He really makes for a terrible dad and well; he pays for it with gusto.

#1 Jack Torrence – The Shining – Just when you thought I was going to forget about this great portrayal of a dad that goes completely insane, I bring to you the #1 worst father in horror. Jack Torrence goes completely insane and wants to murder his family, and he is going to stop at nothing to get it done. The picture might not be as accurate as Stephen King wanted, but it is one of the iconoclasts of horror from his works.

There you have it, the worst fathers in horror. Buy the films, watch them, and appreciate your father a little more.

Mothers Day Brings The Noise

Bass! How Low Can you go....! I was on the road coming home from a Casino and had an interesting discussion about whether or not breaking and entering is a film genre. There are a lot of different movie genres that are mash ups of stand alone headings, and the breaking and entering genre doesn’t seem to be one of the classic monikers that you see when you go into a dying video store. Mothers Day is a remake of a 1980s slasher flick that had similar ethos, but not quite the same delivery mechanism. This film punches you in the face from the beginning, and then tries to unravel with more twists and turns than a Matthew Lillard cameo.

Much like my second favorite Christmas horror movie, this film starts out simple enough with a party of friends that have secrets, but won’t reveal them to each other unless they are in duress. A stage is set in this one with a bank robbery gone wrong, or rather, a baby being stolen. Something happened and putting together all the pieces after I’ve seen the film, is hard. Maybe I should start reviewing directly after watching cinema rather than coming back to it several days later and trying to put together something worth reading.

All that pretense aside, consider Mothers Day a combination of exploitation cinema and Tarantino style twists and turns. There are so many different pieces that get shoehorned together into a tale that is just not reasonable or even plausible. The possibility of things working out, are slim and dumb. The actor’s decisions are not rational, and they shouldn’t be, but the way they play out are just stupid. For instance, if I were in the fray, I’d have gotten the guys and ladies together and attacked with some sick blows to the head, and if I had to, scratch and bit my way to freedom. These poor saps cry, moan and get tortured.

The fights in the film are pretty cool, including one of the better chick fights I’ve seen in a long time. While it’s not going to win any awards, and more people will pass on the notion of a breaking and entering movie that also has a kidnapping sub plot, it does in fact have enough of an exploitation feel to make horror fans unite in applause, especially the more torturous scenes like one where hot boiling water is poured into a mans ear holes.

Mother’s Day is NOT a great film, but it is one of the more impactful movies in the horror genre. I feel that it was definitely something that should’ve been released sooner and with less gloss at times. In fact, there are a lot of glossy moments and for the subject matter, seems out of place. The twists and turns seem fair, but the overall picture is one that is not as satisfying as the gore and punishment that is rendered throughout the film. I recommend Mother’s Day as a horror movie and thriller, but it’s going to take some effort to “believe” the plausibility of the overall film.

The Shrine Put Me To Sleep

This month starts with a bit of torture porn. Despite the fact that I absolutely hate the term, there’s not much else I can say about the beginning of this film, besides that. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love kink, but the term torture porn is NOT anything to do with the horror genre, and here I am using it to intro this review. I’m a bad writer, that’s for sure. We start this month (a little late, mind you) with a film that most people haven’t seen yet, and more people don’t care about. The movie is titled The Shrine.

This film opens up with a guy getting his head caved in by what appears to be druids. We then flash forward to a newsroom and photographer whom become the crux of the story. A group of friends travel across the world to find out why a journalist is missing, and along the way they find out that there is something sinister going on, and that a shrine/church could be responsible.

The majority of the film is a mix between exorcism movies that have come out recently, and Euro trash films that are made to scare tourists. The movie really takes a lot of liberties with the genres, and at times slows down to a snail pace. By the time the viewer catches up with everything that is going on, it’s gone on too long and you start to realize that there is a role reversal afoot.

The Shrine is not a straightforward horror flick; it has a lot of movements that are dramatic, scary, and not worth watching. I don’t recommend this film at all.

Halloween Resurrection Brings Hip Hop To Horror

Ah yes, there’s something about selling out that just seems too good to be true at times. Halloween Resurrection, on the surface, looks like an incredible piece of filmmaking, right? I mean the poster campaign and many of the advertisements used to promote the film looked to have taken on a great role, then somehow the powers that be at the studio once again found a way to screw the slasher genre yet again, this time including Busta Rhymes in a place where you might not think he’d be, an antihero in a slasher that originally created the genre.

The movie features a fast and quick plot. A reality show is being filmed and unsuspecting teenagers are going to have to contend with a real threat, but before we launch into that piece of the story, we are set up with a lot of different pieces. The first thing we get is a backstory in which we kill off the original scream queen, and assume that Michael Meyers goes to a grave with her as they plummet to their deaths. That of course is not the case, as Meyers is back at it, and he’s going to take out anyone that is in his way.

The reality show is supposed to be streamed online and through various channels, all filmed in the original house where Meyers grew up. One by one we are treated to horror clichés, with dumb jocks, punishment for having sex, running upstairs instead of away and through a window, and just every other piece of stupidity that you get when you see a genre film like this one.

The end is terrible, you’ll find yourself wondering why, and if the ending wasn’t bad enough you have to deal with Busta Rhymes throwing out classic one-liners. Oh wait, not so classic one-liners, if you ask me. The film plays fast, it’s not a slow moving movie at all and the bodies pile up over the course of the film. You’ll have to throw logic out the window, and just grab a Mountain Dew Code Red and some popcorn; otherwise you’re going to be heavily frustrated with the way it all plays out. Don’t think too much, this is a throwaway piece to the franchise. I would have much preferred to have Xzibit doing the funny stuff, but that’s just a personal preference. I don’t recommend Halloween Resurrection, but it was entertaining for 2002, so maybe it’s worth a watch or two.

Straw Dogs remake Review

Modern exploitation film is alive and well, and if you disagree, you need to see t his major studio film that is a remake of a 1971 film by the same name. The movie that I’m referring to is Straw Dogs, and it is a relatively updated movie with more graphic and sexual violence than 90% of the horror movies that have come out in the last few years. In fact, this film is so hard to watch at times, that I’m already betting a majority of women out there will not agree to seeing it again or even sitting through the mid-point of the film.

The story is an easy one to follow, featuring a screenplay writer and his wife moving back to her hometown deep in the southern part of the United States. While there old flames seem to be rekindled, only they are unwarranted and that leads to some interesting misunderstandings. The locals don’t like the intruder, and therefore mess with him, and when he doesn’t retaliate in a way, the local crew he hired to fix up a barn, decides to leave him for dead while raping his wife, twice. The assault on the wife in this film is hard to watch, not quite as hard to watch as Irreversible, but enough for me not to want to see this multiple times. The violence is juxtaposed in a way with the violence of killing a deer, and that’s an interesting jostling, but it’s nowhere near as brutal in the psyche.

The movie moves forward with a side story, featuring one of my favorite guys from Prison Break, and develops into a vigilante story more than anything else. The movie really takes its toll in the final act, with gore beyond compare. The bloodshed is insane, brutal, and disturbing. You will have to not eat anything while watching the display of violence that is shown here.

Straw Dogs is a modern example of how exploitation film can be made. The movie is hard to watch, and makes me wonder why the MPAA says this is R and then says something like Clerks is R too. Clerks is far less violent and sickening compared to what you get to see on display here. As far as revenge flicks, this one is about as good as you’re going to get, but I wonder what the original was like? I’ll have to investigate the notion.

Waxwork Review

Ah yes, the suburbs, a place where I got to spend six solid months getting to know hot young girls, and none of them liked Mexicans. If only I had an inch of confidence back then, I’d have said what’s up to the girls softball team, those chicks were hot. Anyways, today we talk about a small film that came out in 1988, and features some very macabre things; it is none other than the film Waxwork. Long before House of Wax got a remake, and long before the slew of films in the horror genre were only straight to video, there were b-movies on the big screen that featured some gore, some horror, a little sex, and some laughable plot points that were taken a little more seriously than they should’ve been. That’s where start with Waxwork, a film that has some funny moments, some scary moments, and most often just laughable scenarios.

The film has a simple storyline; a wax museum comes to life at night with the curse of many of horror’s iconic pieces. For instance, a mummy shows up, Dracula shows up, and so much more. There are approximately 18 evil things that arise from the museum/mansion and they attack anyone who ventures inside after hours. Think “Night of the Museum” meets “Night of the Creeps” and you might start to see how this film is set up.

While the gore levels are interesting at times, the movie takes a more comedic approach to things opposed to focusing on the violence. Yes, there are violent moments in this film, and yes you get some pretty sick stuff, including a head explosion and blood bath sequence, but other than that, it’s a tame film with some interesting comedic elements.

The main plot involves creating the undead, or rather recreating scenarios with original characters and figures that come back to life when paired with an original artifact of the guy. So if a mummy's tomb is placed with a wax work, the mummy will return to life to kill! The goal of course is to take over the world! We find this out far too long into the film, so by that point you're just waiting for the Nickelodeon style twist or something, because it's getting relative boring.

The characters aren’t that memorable, standard teenage/young adult fare, and you end up watching what a grown up “Jumanji” might be like. I found the film to be tedious at times, and at others quite fascinating. I wanted to love this one, especially since the idea of all sorts of scary elements coming to life and burying people in wax, seems like good fodder for a scary movie. Instead, there is too much mixing between fantasy, science fiction, horror, and dare I say romance to keep with the unsettling idea of the undead. Waxwork is interesting, don’t get me wrong, but I found it less scary and more, I don’t know, comedic for my tastes. I recommend it, at least for a quick viewing, as there are some cool spots of horror that are shoe horned into less than scary moments.

They made a sequel to this film, one that I haven't seen in a long time, maybe I'll review that next time.

Hostel 3 Review

I’ve been eyeballing this movie for a while every time I visit the video store, or my local retailer, and I finally got it into my grubby hands. This film is a direct sequel to the Hostel movies, and it is the latest to come from the franchise. The trilogy isn’t exactly the most lucrative or praised of film sets, but apparently there was enough interest to film a third one and then try to sell and rent it to idiots like me. The movie takes the club that everyone seems to want to join, in order to torture people, moves to Las Vegas. The setting is sin city and we join up with a group of 20 somethings that are going to find out that they are the hunted in a sick sad world. Hostel 3 is not going to win many awards, and most people won’t even care for the gore, which happens from time to time, amidst sexualized moments from B-movie actresses that needed a pay check of sorts.

The movie is simple enough, a group of friends go to Vegas for a bachelor party, and things get out of hand. No, not just drunkenness but something more, they slowly get trapped into a game of death where only members of a club get to decide the fate of the captives. The way you saw old Hostel movies changes in a great way and you end up seeing a group of people that get to vote, like a game, on what kind of death the trapped will get.

By the time I figured out what was going on in this film, I was bored. The pacing lacks luster, even though the opening sequence is amazing for a straight to dvd film. The movie features some gore, some nudity, and a lot of torture, but I don’t like the way the film just drags through the middle, and right when you think that there can’t be anything worse happening, the movie throws in a subplot about revenge and what not…I hated it.

Hostel 3 is one of the worst straight to dvd sequels I’ve seen and I’ve seen a lot. I admit, I did want to see it because of the cover, and the premise on the back of the box, but I didn’t like the way it played out. You will most likely hate it too, as the pacing and the gore don’t really add up to more than just a cash grab into a series that peaked on the first film. This is a terrible example of how studios cash in on franchises for no apparent reason other than to make a few bucks. If you must, check out this dvd, otherwise, avoid it.

Devil In The Flesh Review

First and foremost, Happy New Year from me and all the idiots that help me out on this blog. To kick off the New Year I decided to review a pseudo-horror film, that seems more like an after school special than a pure horror attraction. While there are elements of horror at times, the majority of this one features a weird mash up of adult themes, sexual violence, and serial killing. The movie I’m talking about is none other than, Devil in The Flesh.

The movie is touted as a straightforward thriller, but the acting is so bad, that I didn’t find it very scary, at first. The movie features a young Rose McGowan playing a scary teenager who just happens to move to a new town and has her eyes squarely on one of her teachers. She tries to become the object of his affection, but when she is spurned, turns into an evil witch of sorts. She goes on a path of destruction that starts with her brutally beating her grandmother to death with a cane, and then killing off a black mailing jock for good measure! The sequences of revenge and slaying are enough to make this somewhat interesting, but then there are a lot of odd moments that seem to serve no purpose than to titillate the male audience that is watching this movie.

There are several moments in the film that feature sex between a student and a teacher, then there are some moments that resemble fatal attraction, and of course the ill-fated “date” rape scene is just laughable. None of the situations are sexy in any way, and the music is laughable to say the least. The movie goes through several stages, and by act 3 I was ready to quit watching it. The only reason I kept going with the convoluted storyline, is the sheer fact that I was wondering if the main characters were going to die.

Devil in The Flesh has a cool cover, but the movie lacks a sense of purpose. This movie seems canned, and I swear I saw it already with Alicia Silverstone. I don’t recommend this film, but then again, I don’t recommend a whole lot these days, do I? For the first film of 2011, this is a sad sack of a movie. However, there are some cool moments, which will at least have you watching through Netflix streaming, rather than buying the dvd. Speaking of which, make sure you patronize our links. Thanks.

The Best of Scary Film Review 2011

Here is an interesting thing for you to look at, while you're nursing your hangover for New Years. The following list is essentially the best of Scary Film Review for this year. I reviewed a lot less this year because I got a divorce and was screwed over financially. The new year is looking good though, so we'll see how that all works out, but for now, this is an interesting look at the past. I hope you enjoy the list, check out the reviews, and for goodness sakes, please buy something from Amazon.

Lunopolis Review
Mad Rons Prevues From Hell Review
REWIND: Top 5 CHRISTMAS Horror Movies
Fear Itself - Eater Review
Mans Best Friend Review
Rage Review
REWIND: Virginia Creepers Review
The Return of Scary Film
Advertise on Scary Film Review
Red State Review
It’s Only A T-Shirt
The House On The Edge of the Park Review
Smash Cut Review
NIghtmares in Red White and Blue Review
Camp Hell Review
Death Note Review
Marshmallow Ghosts - Corpse Reviver no.2 Review
Scream 4 Review
Throne of Blood Review
Top 5 Cannibal Movies
Top 5 Dracula Movies
Lair of The White Worm Review
Second Opinion: The Hunchback of the Morgue Review...
The Hunchback of the Morgue Review
House of Fallen Review
3 Reasons To Shop At The Official Star Trek Store
Club Dread Review
Robo Geisha Review
Hobo With A Shotgun Review
Donations Now Accepted
Who Can Kill A Child Review
Final Destination Review
Cobra Review
Killer Granny Pledge
Black Cobra Review
Sleepaway Camp Screening Tonight at Midnight
The Dead and the Damned Review
Mad Dog Killer Review
Martyrs Review
The Netflix Scare
Retroactive Review
Sleepaway Camp Midnight Screening July 29 Join Sca...
Robo Vampire Review
Seven Deaths In The Cat's Eye Review
Changes Coming
Ricco The Mean Machine Review
Satan's Blood Review
Prom Night 4: Deliver Us From Evil Review
Prom Night 3 Review
The Maze Review
My Most Hated Genre
Heathers Review
Where Is Sir Jorge
Killer View AKA Snuffed Review
REWIND: Friday The 13th Part VI: Jason Lives Revie...
Satans Slave Review
The Transitional Champion
A Virgin Among The Living Dead Review
The Rat Man
Rabid Dogs Review
The Return Date
A Blade In The Dark And I'm Coming Back
REWIND: Monkey Shines Review
No Review For My Birthday
The Top 5 Urban Horror Movies
Poltergeist II: The Other Side Review
Bachelor Party At The Bungalow of the Damned Revie...
Puppet Master 2 Review
Top 10 Horror Camp Movies
Shredder Review
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan R...
End of the Month Death Toll January 2011
Top 10 Horror Movies of January 2011
Best Worst Movie Review
Tales From The Hood Review
Def By Temptation Review
Howling III: The Marsupials Review
Bear Review
Night of the Creeps Review
Weekend Double Feature Next Week
Jason Goes To Hell Comic Books
Witchfinder General Review
Night of the Demons 2009 Review
The Lost Boys 3: The Thirst Review
Misery Review
The Twilight Zone Season 2 Review
Friday The 13th 4: The Final Chapter Review
Total Recall Review
The Book of Eli Review
Top 5 Horror Television Shows

Mad Rons Prevues From Hell Review

When it comes to compilation discs, I tend to stay away from reviewing them, but then I caught wind of this one and had to review it as it was one of my favorite vhs tapes, and now is one of my favorite dvd’s. This is quite the epic preview disc, it features 47 movie trailers, and in the middle of the set ups is constant yammering from Nick Pawlow and Happy Goldsplatt. The ventriloquist act is funny, and the dvd is not just pure trailers, as it has some great comic relief here and there featuring the duo and even Mad Ron!

The trailers are from what appears to be the original previews from grindhouse era films. You most likely have already seen the trailers, mostly splatter flicks, 70’s horror, and lots of gore. The hisses and pops that you would normally get at the movie theater in the 1980’s are all found here, and the trailers are not edited or censored. They feature all that you would have seen in the previous years, and it’s done with some care. Unlike the 42nd Street series, this is more than just a random collection, it’s got a story to it and the whole thing is just a classic.

I hear the vhs version is hard to find, ut with this dvd set up, you have it all! Mad Ron’s Prevues From Hell comes highly recommended by yours truly, and it’s the perfect thing to watch the day after Christmas.

Red State Review

I like Kevin Smith, but I wasn’t so sure about his plans to make another film, this time ditching the notion of comedy and going for horror. His film wasn’t exactly going to break ground, as the details started to roll out, and when it was finally time to see it, I knew I wasn’t going to like it. Red State finally came out to a variety of venues, and mostly online and dvd. The famed director did a lot to promote his film and auctioned it off to himself, and even ranted and raved about the industry as a whole, then he threw a wrench into the machine of the Hollywood pictures game….and in my opinion, losing. Not many cared about this film, and those that saw it were split in regards to reviewing the film, I will try my best to talk about this one, but I tell you, it’s not my favorite.

The film is about a cult in a small town, and juxtaposes their insanity with a small town group of youth trying to get laid. When things go awry for a group of teens trying to get some action, the movie goes into high gear and involves some more heavy-handed cinema that you don’t always see with these types of films. As the film continues, and the craziness of the cult starts to rise to epic levels, a shootout ensues with authorities and church parishioners. At one point one of the kids is nailed to a cross, or rather they try, and at another moment bloody fights happen with gunplay being at the helm of the direction of the film.

There are several ups and downs in this movie, one minute playing to Kevin Smith’s old comedic roles, albeit unintentionally, and then moving to something far more serious for ware. I got tired of seeing the problems continually arise with logic, then somehow resolve themselves with a quick flip of the proverbial switch. The ending was interesting, seeing our antagonist in jail, but it wasn’t the most satisfying.

Red State was marketed as a horror/thriller, but it really left me bored and wondering when I could see Dante and Randal get back to the silver screen. Clerks 3 would be nice, because this film and Cop Out were terrible. I don’t recommend this at all.

Satan's Blood Review

Oh, the Spanish, how lovely they are to me. One of my favorite adult movies features this Spanish bird, and well, I wish I could meet a girl from Spain, instead of sitting here on another weekend, alone, no woman, and dateless yet again. But that's neither here nor there, let's talk about the latest film for this review site, Satan's Blood. This 1978 horror movie features the best of everything that is good in horror and then some. In fact, I believe that this film is the best horror movie that I have seen this year, and that's saying a lot, because I see a lot of horror. The film was directed by Carlos Puerto, and recently came to the US in a full uncut, English dubbed version, and boy does it pack a punch.

Satan's Blood starts with a pornographic sex scene that involves a satan worshiping weirdo, and a lovely bird. The movie is so graphic that my sister and stepdad had to nearly leave the room, because it was quite insane. The movie can easily be confused as something unrelated, but trust me, get past the first ten minutes.

The movie slowly moves into a different plot theme. A couple drives through town only to get stopped by another couple that say they went to school together. The two catch up and are interested in going to have lunch off the side of the road. The mountain side castle like structure that the two couples end up at is quite crazy. It appears a lot like Dracula's castle in most horror vampire mythology. Once inside the couples start playing a weird game, and that leads to the greatest satanic sex orgy I've ever seen. Sure, the bumping and grinding wasn't that of "The Devil in Miss Jones" or anything like that, but it did have some similarities. The sexual situations force the couples into a weird union of satanism that really makes for quite the weird next few scenes. At one point there is a weird rape sequence that is never fully explained.

The film moves forward with relative ease, and lots of gore, and sick moments. The film takes the high road towards the end, and I was predicting a trivial identity crisis ending, but nope, the film gets into some strange lands, particularly with the introduction of a porcelain doll that bleeds. The doll is one of the creepiest points in the film, making for a side show horror piece that makes the film palpable in terms of terror. The ending twist is what really grabbed me.

I won't reveal the twist, but boy did it have some great moments. The realization that the whole scenario was a set up for something completely sinister rivals anything I've seen in a long time. I was completely impressed with how the ending turned out, the camera usage, editing, and acting. There were some physical scenes that had to be difficult for the actors involved to create. One such moment was when our antihero chokes out the villains girlfriend, and marks are seen manifesting on the neck of the actress.

Satan's Blood is one of the best Spanish horror films I've seen in a long time. I watch a lot of movies, and this one really grabbed me by the hair and punched me in the face. It features a great deal of sex, violence, and gore. The gore showcased in the final sequences is worth its weight in gold, and the macabre tale is really interesting when the film goes full circle in the end, and we get a moment where a sequel can be made! While this film is not on blu ray, it is worth the high price of purchasing it, which I will gladly recommend and do. Aside from the stupid name, I thought the film pulled no punches, and makes for one of the coolest and slickest horror films. I know, I'm gushing over this one, but after seeing so much garbage, and avoiding British horror, I loved this one, and recommend it highly.