Crank 2 Review

Alright, I had to really think about doing this review. However, this morning I decided that I'm going to review this film for this site because it is nothing more than Exploitation. As you may know, I'm a huge fan of exploitation and grindhouse films, growing up in the mid 80's I used to go to these cheesy movie theaters because my dad had no moral compass for me. So I saw some crazy movies growing up, and I miss them. That's why this site has movie reviews from a certain era, a lot of the times. So when I saw Crank 2 last weekend, I was amped! This film is pure exploitation, and so it deserves a review here. I know the title of this blog is Scary Film Review, however, I'm going to give this movie a small review, not in the context of scary films, but more of an exploitation scene. Seriously, this movie is so much like the grindhouse films, that you're going to poop your pants in excitement!

Here is the trailer for Crank 2 High Voltage:



The movie stars Jason Statham as a cartoon character, still alive after falling out of a helicopter, fighting his archenemy on the way down. If you saw the first, then you know that part. We start this movie with Chev Chelios getting an artificial heart, he wakes up mid surgery and overhears the doctors talking about cutting off his penis next, so he gets mad and fights them. He then chases down his heart for the rest of the film. This movie goes into macabre right away with a main villain putting ashes into his open chest cavity! That's a level of sickness that is not found in even the most disgusting horror films.

Oh no? Not disgusting? Not horror? Ok, within ten minutes of the opening credits, done in 8 bit NES format, Chelios sticks a shotgun in some guys butt and the camera doesn't turn away. He stops short of pulling the trigger, but this is exploitation! This is the best categorized action film, which is rad. We move forward with this film, and I really loved how Chelios shoots up a strip club and lives! First thing I thought was, this isn't possible, then I remembered "Scalped vol. 1" where the main character goes into a barn with his partner and a shotgun and goes nuts, and lives.

We then move forward, and the film showcases no political correctness, no feminist ideas, and throws a brick in your face as Chelios has to charge up his heart to stay alive. This film is a continual fist to the mouth, and as you slow down to digest it, it's a kick in the stomach, and then an onslaught of fractal face blows that will either kill you, or wake you up.

Statham makes a believer out of all film fans that love Exploitation, Sexploitation, Action, and even horror movies. This film is an overblown massive horror film disguised as an action film. Seriously, think about how scary the ideas are in this film. There's a series of crime syndicates seeking someone's heart? There are extreme stereotypes that are exploited, and loyalties so strong that one man cuts his nipples off to prove that he's still worthy of being in the gang!

Crank 2 High Voltage is a perfect example of how in today's market, you can still do exploitation cinema at a major studio. This movie is nothing more than a true adrenaline ride. I talk about a lot of gore and massive crazy films, however, this one takes the hat because the filmmakers not only know they are being nuts, they revel in it! This is the type of ballsy cinema that made me cheer for hero's and villains in the 80's and made me cringe when watching Eli Roth's films at times. It is wrapped in a package and delivered to you with a soundtrack featuring Mike Patton and TSOL to name a couple.

Am I glorifying the depravity of this film? No. I live in a society that is really scared of things like Swine Flu. I live in a society that thought Titanic was an amazing movie. I live in a society that believes all Christians are closed minded bigots, and yet they themselves are the most closed minded people in the universe! As the film closed and everyone who mounted up and said "FUCK YOU CHELIOS" I cheered as Chev was lit on fire and blew through his enemies in pure comic book fashion and you know what? This film was the best film I've seen this year. It took what I love, this sort of Superman character and mixed it with exploitation, sex, violence and more and then packaged it in a frenetic pace and sold it to me and those smart enough to enjoy something like this in the proper format and really sold it. However, I'm not in the majority. Miley Cyrus beat this film, and so did so many others, so I'd rather be in the minority than to be part of the #1 film of that weekend. Crank 2 is a modern example of doing what you love, and while it's not a full SCARY MOVIE in the proper sense, it sure makes me as a horror fan, blogger, and even Christian cheer. It's brutal and it's honest at times, it's awesome. If you don't like it, fine, don't watch it. Crank 2 is rad.

If you are still upset that this is not a pure horror movie on a horror movie blog. Consider the science fiction aspects of this film. A fake heart? Electrically charging yourself to life? You have to admit, this is rad, and well, I liked it. We're approaching the end of the month so expect a best of post on Monday, Tuesday Movie releases, Wednesday all the movies that were released in April, and Friday a review of Dario Argento's Tenebre, followed up by a review of Nightmare City.

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