Monday, June 30, 2008

The Machine Girl Review

The Machine Girl is an insane horror film. Is it really horror? I guess it's more comedy and violence and revenge, not really horrific in the traditional sense. The movie is so insane, that I had to call in wikipedia for the decription:

Ami Hyuga is a tough but otherwise average high school girl, trying to lead a normal life. Her world comes crashing down when her brother and his friend are killed by ruthless bullies. As Ami tracks down the ringleader, she is surprised to discover the bullies' association with a sinister ninja yakuza family. When she goes after her revenge, she soon finds herself in over her head and minus her left arm. Barely surviving, Ami escapes and seeks out shelter from two kindly garage mechanics. They take pity on her, fitting her with a high-powered machine gun where her arm used to be. She then teams up with the chainsaw-wielding mother of her brother's slain friend and together they unleash an unholy, non-stop killfest against the equally creative machinery (drill bra, flying guillotine) of their relentless ninja enemies.

You got that right? If you didn't read that, just figure this film like Death Wish with a ton of blood and effects. The movie really follows a straightforward story of killing, and revenge. (I know I said that already

Ok...I'm gathering my thoughts here....

The movie looks like a Japanese "novela" or soap opera, rather than a feature length movie. The quality of the filming is on par with anything that is being released by Lionsgate in their straight to dvd section of movies. This one has horrible acting, terrible audio dubbing, and a paper thin plot that really doesn't engage you to care.

But that's not why this movie is getting a lot of hype and it's not why people are talking about it. The main reason this film succeeds is as follows:

People getting sawed in half.
Fountains of blood.
People losing limbs.
People getting decapitated.

Here is a trailer for The Machine Girl:

Of course, a girl with a Machine Gun on her arm. Sure you can compare this to Planet Terror if you'd like, but there's more to Planet Terror than this film.

The most horrifying of scenes in this film, is most likely the scene that people laughed at the most. I nearly through up at the site, because I've eaten the stuff, and to think that a human arm could be put through that, just was grotesque. Of course I'm talking about the scene where they tempura a human arm! That's right, full blown TEMPURA! It's sick, it's worse than any of the deaths, kills or slayings in this movie.

If that doesn't get you, then the killer bra might grab you. It's a bra that is chainsaw like in precision cutting of the chest. It's sick, and there's a lot of blood throughout.

This film is the epitome of gorefest. This move is worthwhile only because so many people are talking about it. It's insane, it has a LOT of gore and a lot of blood. I kid you not on this one. I am hardpressed to consider another film with as much gore and blood than this film.

Granted, it's all laughable, but still, this thing is not for the weak of heart, nor for you to watch after dinner. This movie takes things to the most extreme point with a serious face. Although, I have a hard time believing that people really are taking this movie serious. Even the actor's seem not to be taking things too serious...this movie is interesting.

I recommend it as a talking piece, not necessarily as something that is highly credible or artistic. It's hard to watch at times, because the acting and video quality is so poor. But one thing is for sure, there is a lot of blood, and a lot of exaggerated sequences of violence. Maybe that will have you cheering, but for me...Machine Girl was just another poor attempt at shock cinema.

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  1. jervaise brooke hamsterDecember 12, 2010 at 7:46 AM

    Sir Jorge, have you ever visited Japan?, if you have i was wondering whether you were lucky enough to go to one of those places where they have a full size mock-up of a subway train carriage and for the equivalent of about $200 you go in and then a gorgeous 18 year-old Japanese schoolgirl gets in as well and then the carriage starts to move (or rather it gives the illusion of move-girl-t with train noises etc) and there you are alone with the gorgeous bird in total privacy and then you can slowly approach the gorgeous bird (who has been instructed to remain standing) and then pull her knickers down and rip the rest of her clothes off as well and then bugger her senseless for 30 minutes non-stop. Its one of the great fantasys brought to life (as it were). Such places do exist in Tokyo and i`d love to visit one myself.

  2. I've never been to Tokyo, but it's one of my dreams. I too have fantasy's about the birds out there...but with no job, and no hope, i probably will never get there


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A writer first, cat lover second, and some other stuff too. Human, with lots of faults, and terrible communication.
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