Friday, December 31, 2010

End of the Month Death Toll December 2010 Edition

Wow, the end of 2010, and I don't feel any different. Before I give you a listing of the movies and posts I did this last month, I wanted to talk a little personal blog reflection.

Social Media

Scary Film review hasn't been on the cusp of changing media. In fact, I don't really subscribe to a lot of it, until today. I have recently started a twitter account for this blog. You can follow scary film review on twitter here. I don't expect to be on there often, as I do NOT own a smart phone or anything high technology.

I do not have a facebook page for this site, I do not have a myspace page. I honestly don't care too much about them. Maybe I'm old, maybe I'm dumb. The twitter page is enough for now, and I highly doubt anyone will care.

Reviews and More

In the coming year I will be updating the website 4 times a week, and sometimes 5 to 6 times a week depending on schedule. I've noticed that despite my constant reviews, updates, and all sorts of attempts to get traffic, I've failed. But I will still be bringing nonsense and reviews to the 4 readers I have.

Advertising, DVD Recommendations Etc.

This 2010 was the worst year for me in terms of ads, sales and more. Despite my attempts to try and get people to visit amazon.com and get the dvd's I review, I fail. NO ONE buys anything from the links. I've evaluated the linking strategy, I've tried adding buttons, taking down buttons, adding links, not adding links, adding trailers, and all sorts of attempts to raise money to move this site from blogger to it's own domain name, and have not been successful at all.

In 2011, the same thing will happen. I'll still have ads, I'll still try to sell dvd's, but I have no hope of doing so. I hope that in this new year I can finally land a job, any job. If not, I'm moving out of this piece of crap city and going somewhere else. I hate the city I live in, and me and the wife are getting sick of banging our heads against the wall in terms of finances, or lack there of. I love horror and still manage to find joy in writing reviews, despite the lackluster turn.

If you are reading this and find that you would like to purchase something, check out my posts, they have plenty of "red" links for you to utilize.

Top 5 Lists

I'm writing more top 5 lists. I don't know why, but I find that I like ranking a few of my favorite movies, television shows, and gifts. I will continue to do so in the new year.

That's about it for now in terms of this site. Keep commenting, even if it's only 4 readers, and please support this site by utilizing amazon online.

The Posts from December 2010 are below:

Top 10 Best Selling Horror DVD December 2010
Predator Review
A Nightmare On Elm Street 2010 Review
Second Look: Sleepaway Camp 3 Review
Scary Film Review Holiday Wish List 2010
Friday The 13th Part 3 Review
Friday The 13th Part 2 Review
Top 5 CHRISTMAS Horror Movies
New Inline Ads
New Comment Policy Starting Today
Predators Review
Enter The Dark Review
The Taint Review
REWIND: The Complete Silent Night Deadly Night
Sodomatik Mixtape Review
End of the Month Deathtoll November 2010 Edition

If you want to see the archive of posts that I have done, you can click here to see all the Scary Film reviews done up to this point.

Support this blog by visiting the Scary Film Web Store here.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Top 10 Best Selling Horror DVD December 2010

I'll be updating this blog at the end of every month with the best selling horror dvd's based on a list made on Amazon.com. This month, even with Christmas going on, saw a lot of horror movies being released and sold. I bought a few of them, and I'm hoping you bought a few too. If you haven't, utilize the links below to purchase them, and help support this blog.

1. Vampire Circus Blu Ray

2. Videodrome Criterion Collection

3. And Soon The Darkness

4. And Soon The Darkness Blu Ray

5. Hunter Prey

6. Schoolgirl Hitchhikers

7. Resonnances

8. Hell Girl: Three Vessels Collection 2

9. Fox 75th Anniversary Collection Box Set

10. Slave

There you have it folks. You have the 10 best selling Horror dvd's from Amazon.com. This is the December 2010 edition. I'll update you guys in 30 days with the best selling dvd's on January. Once again, you can purchase any of these by clicking the links above. Every order costs you no extra, and helps this blog continue, and hopefully will eventually spark enough to get a domain name, and start a podcast. If not, then enjoy the lists, and reading the site. Thank you.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Predator Review

predator poster

What's this? I finally cave in and review the original Predator film? That's right, i finally got around to re watching the original science fiction horror film starring the governor of California. I can safely say that the 1980's even with the limited CG effects, were far better in a lot of regards than today's stupidity of remakes. I'm not a film maker, and I don't have any money, but I do have is a brain and four eyes (cause I wear glasses, get it), and after years and years of picking my nose and sitting on the couch, I can at least say that I know a quality flick when I see one, and this one is in fact a better than average film, and was surprised how well this movie holds up, even in today's standards.

The story seems self explanatory, at least from the back of the vhs box that you're looking at in the museum of a video store you have in your town. But for those without that, the story goes as follows: A group of mercenaries are hired to go deep into the jungles on a mission to rescue some trapped allies. However, what they aren't told is that there is something in the jungles, and it might not necessarily be human, and it will cost most of the men, their lives.

The start of this film is actually similar to Rambo 2, or more recently, Tropic Thunder. We have the setting of a real Jungle, and we have a group of guys that are so tough, they probably eat nails. You get some awesome throwaway characters all buff and all strong. The standouts are Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, and Jesse "The Body" Ventura, and they are the focal point of some carnage, and of course, death and mayhem. Despite the geeks with video editing software, Arnold's one liners aren't too out of place and don't hit as funny as they are when Austrian Death Machine plays them over metallic guitar riffs. Yes, his lines are somewhat cheese filled, but maybe I love cheese.

The gore is well in place here. Gore is used in some great shots, including a head exploding and spilling blood on the camera. Arms getting severed, shots exploding through body cavities, and so much more. They are not all supernatural either, there are great pieces of gore throughout the kills from both Predator and the mercs. Obviously, this rated R film is far more than just a standard science fiction film, as it showers the viewer with blood and guts, more so than is necessary for this type of film.

As the movie progresses, you lose all dialogue and the hunter becomes the hunted and it's awesome. The film goes through some changes in tone, as our heroes are killed off one by one in devastating fashion. The movie ends in a satisfying way, even though the latter portions of this film have little to no dialogue, and just use visual cues to entertain the audience.

Predator is fascinating, it's good, it's horrific at times. It's not a "scary" film today, as I've seen it one hundred times by now. However, when this movie was released (when I was a kid) up to when I was a teenager, I only saw this film in two ways. I either rented it from the Korean video store near my house, in the ghetto, or I would watch it on one of the network television channels. The movie was heavily edited for tv, but it still had a great deal of great moments. Now with DVD it's available to watch all the time, unedited, extended, and a great deal of features that were never found on the original vhs version of Predator. We are so spoiled, this digital generation of ours, but that's ok, because you can watch this anytime.

I liked this movie a lot, and despite the "GET TO THE CHOPPA" line, I was ok with the rest of the film, more so than a great deal of movies this year. It holds up very well. It's rare to see a movie hold its weight, especially when there are remakes all over the place. The series was tied into the Alien series, and well, it was remade earlier this year in one of the worst reboots in the history of film making.

predator BLU RAY
Click HERE TO BUY PREDATOR


BONUS!

predator nes screen

If that wasn't enough for you, you might want to check out the NES Game adaptation for Predator. The game was made for the NES 8-Bit by Activision. The game is a side scroller, similar to Contra, with lots of similar backgrounds and jungle sequences. You start the game with only punching, yep. You don't get a gun, you just run and punch, proving that you're the most bad ass dude! This is 8 bit, remember! Not everything needs to make sense here.

predator game

This is a challenging game, with a learning curve that is far higher than your average game. This is another example of how it was to be a kid growing up in the 80's and 90's. You either bought this game or you rented it, and you HAD to put time into it. If it sucked, it sucked, but you still went forward and tried to beat the game, because that's all you had to do, play video games. For the sake of this review, I revisited the game, and it's fun, but only if you like 8-bit challenges. This game is NOT for everyone,and it's not a complete adaptation from the movie, it's another adventure altogether. I liked it. There are 30 levels, and there are a variety of cool spots with the sprites nearly hitting 16 bits.

You can pick up the Predator for NES Here. I recommend it, but only if you like NES and hard games, otherwise, you're better off just watching the movie.



Oh, and if that isn't enough, there is a Predator 2 video game, on the Sega Genesis. But we won't dive into that one for this review, I'll save that for the movie review of that, later...well much later.

Monday, December 27, 2010

A Nightmare On Elm Street 2010 Review

Elm Street

I've seen some stinkers and most of them are the fault of low budget, or just bad editing, and even bad writers. But this one came out of nowhere for me to be the worst mainstream horror remake ever made. Yes, I'm going to just flat out start by telling you that A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) is my pick for the worst remake ever made in the genre of horror. This trumps most of the reviews on this website, and it's laughable that they made this one.

The problems don't necessarily lie with Freddy this time. Englund might be out, but he is replaced by one scary mofo. Freddy is amazing and more creepy than ever before, and more psychotic then I've ever remembered. But the rest of the cast and the rest of the film sours the mood so easily.

The movie's plot revolves around repressed memories of molestation, and another rehashing of the original plot, only this time it's been updated. There's full flash back scenes, and dream sequences that not only aren't creepy, they are just sad attempts at creating scary moments where there are none. The teenagers in this film are completely void of any shred of emotion. The chaos that surrounds not being able to sleep is gone here, and you end up wanting the teenagers to get it, because they come across as snotty rich kids. In fact, that's all I saw in this film, a bunch of rich white people, and why should I care about them?

A Nightmare on elm Street in the 1980's had some genuinely scary moments. This update is just sad. When your main sinister villain is the reason to cheer, and not on a comedic level, you're doing something terribly wrong. Sadly, this type of film still garners remakes. Maybe they can can remake part 2 now, and make it less homo-erotic, or make it more, what do I care?

This film, does look good at times. I'll give it some credit. It visually represents a lot of what the series should come to be, but on a visceral level it's lacking a lot. In fact, I was terribly bored with this one.

elm street remake
BUY NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET HERE

Friday, December 24, 2010

Second Look: Sleepaway Camp 3 Review

sleepaway camp 3

I reviewed Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland way back on June 29, 2009 here. However, since I've had extra time on my hands lately (the last 15 months of no job) I decided to look at the third sequel in the Sleepaway Camp series.

When I was a kid I used to rent horror moves from the Korean owned rental store and out of all the neighborhood kids, I was the only one that they trusted to rent horror movies. This one I always wanted to rent for the raunchy poster that they had up on the wall. It's of a large breasted female holding a knife. I especially loved this film's poster more than the others just because of how sexualized it was. While I did appreciate the other two, especially the second one because it looked like a porno film cover, this one I enjoyed far more. That's not to say that the movie was far better, but it definitely was engraved in my memory a lot better.

Sleepaway Camp 3 came out in 1989 and was amidst a great deal of slasher films coming out at the time. The film was edited upon release due to the fact that the MPAA wouldn't give it an R rating, but the semi-full version is available on dvd. I'm not sure if the Sleepaway Camp 3 VHS tape has the full edition, but it should be interesting to see if it is.

The film starts up with some random girl trying to get to summer camp but is completely taken out by a rogue garbage truck being driven by none other than Angela Baker! I was cheering for it like a 9 year old marking out for John Cena. The camp this year is completely run down and is thrown together in order to help urban teenagers coexist with upper class kids.

The camp is hilarious, Camp Horizons as it is called is nothing more than a repurposed older camp with none of the original bells and whistles that Camp Rolling Hills had. For those not familiar with that camp, it's where Angela knocked out a ton of campers in the first and second film.

The death count rises on this film, and it really is light on the plot. Sure there are a few connections to the previous movies, but it's not exactly an Oscar contender either, and we shouldn't expect it to be. The kills are similar to all the ones we already saw, and they vary from slightly gorey to full blown gore, but never really as good as the previous movies. As you can expect this film goes into full throttle towards the end with Angela attacking all the survivors and trying to get away with yet another camp slaughter but it just isn't going well.

The closing of this film is awesome, with Angela being in an ambulance and takes care of business. The ambulance scene, despite the close quarters, is quite good and well lit, far better than 90% of this film, in terms of contrast and style. The film ends with what we supposed is a dead character, but is she?

Watching it again definitely made me appreciate certain nuances of the previous film, not necessarily this one. While I absolutely love the movie poster, I don't love the movie at all. In fact, this is the weakest of the series and really only makes me want to watch the second film. The second film is so much better and really could finish off the series completely. I wouldn't mind a new updated version if it was done right. Yes, I know they made a straight to dvd one with the original director, but it's not nearly as good as the second film entry. In fact, the updated one is just a remake of the original in a lot of ways with most if not all of the original cast.

I loved the original for its make up and weird gore effects. I love the second one for being more of a slasher film. The third one, well...the third one has the coolest poster, and that's that. I recommend buying the Sleepaway Camp Box Set with all three films, as I did, but not necessarily just one of the films. Oh and if you love vhs, pick up Sleepaway Camp 3 on VHS and see it in all the original glory.

buy horror dvd
Buy Sleepaway Camp 3 Here

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Scary Film Review Holiday Wish List 2010

It's late in the game and Christmas is nearly non existent at my house due to the financial situation that I am. However, that doesn't stop me from reviewing, writing, and adding items to my amazon wish list. Looking over some of the things that I've added throughout the years, I realize that I forgot to write a post for this years horror movie fans to enjoy. So here we go, my first ever Scary Film Review Holiday Wish List, Guide, and overall piece of crap post detailing what to buy the horror fan in your life.

I am going to be picking up a few things from this list, if my mother sends me a gift card like she did last year, and if not, they'll just go back into the amazon wish list that I have going.

Horror Movie Box Sets

friday13thseries

Friday the 13th: The Series Complete Series DVD Set - I absolutely love the Friday the 13th television series, and would stay up late night to watch it followed by a block of Tales from the Crypt and whatever Elvira was showcasing. They finally put the whole thing on dvd and it's now available in a box set of dvd's. I for one have been wanting this set for a while, but haven't got around to getting it. If you like the film series, you might like the television show, which rocks, it's just not as gorey nor as "jason" filled.

friday13th

Friday The 13th: From Crystal Lake To Manhattan Ultimate DVD Collection Box Set - Another dvd box set featuring Friday the 13th? Yes. Absolutely yes, this is a great box set of the first series of films all the way through one of my personal favorites, Jason Takes Manhattan. Sure, this isn't the complete series of films, but it is enough to get you started on one of the best slasher franchises.

hammer horror vhs

Hammer House of Horror Complete Set VHS - This is going to draw some criticism because I'm recommending that you buy a box set of VHS tapes. This is an amazing collection and one of my favorite gifts ever. This six set of Hammer Horror films are presented in VHS! I love this set, and if you haven't checked out the great House of Hammer, then pick up this vhs set today.

hammer horror

The Ultimate Hammer Collection 21 Disc Box Set Region 2 - For those that have a region free dvd player, you're going to absolutely go nuts for this ultimate box set. 21 discs, Region 2, complete Hammer history box set with booklet, 21 dvd's of horror and so much more. I absolutely love this set and if it ever comes to the states like this, I'd buy it in a heart beat. If you love Hammer Horror and must own all of them, here it is, the ultimate hammer collection set is for you.

Obviously these are just some of the horror box sets that I would want this year, but you might want something different. Whatever it is, make sure you check out amazon online for more ideas in terms of horror movie box sets.

Blu Ray Horror Recommendations

werewolf

An American Werewolf in London Blu Ray - I reviewed this movie recently and think that there are some great images that should be explored in high definition. It's actually 50% off at the time of this writing so if you're going to buy blu ray get this disc for sure. I would love to hear some of the sounds and the soundtrack of this film in full surround.

the thing

John Carpenter's The Thing Blu Ray - The Thing is one of my favorite creepy isolated science fiction horror films. If you haven't seen it recently, go back and watch it again, it's worth while and holds up very well. It has nearly everything you'd want in a scary movie, and well, you get the picture.

high tension

High Tension Blu Ray - I'm in the minority here, but I absolutely love this movie. It has one of my favorite cars in a nice chase sequence, it is gorey as hell, and has one of the most intriguing self pleasure scenes that I've seen in horror movies in a long time. I hate the ending, and the premise is a joke after the reveal, but there are some sick scenes and great gore.

maniac blu ray

Maniac 30th Anniversary Blu Ray - Maniac is back in full high definition. Sure, not a lot of people will remember this one, but I think it is quite good. It's another shining example that slashers were best done 30 years ago, because most recent slashers aren't up to par.

Horror Books

Under The Dome by Stephen King - This thousand some odd page book took me a few weeks to read. It's one of the biggest books that I've read in a long time, and it has some seriously twisted and scary moments. Sure, it gets compared to the Simpsons movie, but it's far better, at least in my view. This book was recently released in paperback but I invested in the preorder hardcover, then sold it...cause I'm an idiot.

Hell House by Richard Matheson - The mother of all Haunted House books, at least in my view. I would recommend this book above most other haunting books and it's surprising that there hasn't been a good adaptation of this book done for film, this one is a great scary read, and I loved every chapter. Although the ending is a bit weak, the build up is awesome and the "know it alls" get theirs in the end or the beginning...whatever. I saw the vhs tape a while back to the adaptation, and it's not nearly as good as the book, and that's just standard when you think of films adapted from books.

Action Figure

elvira nude

Elvira Coffin Action Figure - Oh my goodness, Elvira is one of my favorite horror icons. She was the woman that I wanted to be with when I was a kid and a teenager, and when I started to ask chicks out, I had to ask any girl out that looked anything like Elvira...leading me to get rejected by a lot of women. Well, now here is an amazing action figure, anatomically correct in a night gown, fish nets and a coffin. I love it, you might love it too.

NES 8 Bit Games

total recall

Total Recall NES - Many people will remember the classic science fiction film, but do you remember playing the video game? Do you even own a Nintendo system still? Well if you do, you're going to want to pick this one up too, this is Total Recall, the ultimate NES adaptation and well it's a hard game to master, but it's one of my favorite sci-fi 8 bit classics. I'm in the minority on that one.

nightmare nes

A Nightmare on Elm Street NES - LJN might be one of the most hated game companies, but I loved playing A Nightmare on Elm Street, because it is just weird and fun. I like it, and it is not easy to master.

One Last Thing

freddy glove

A Nightmare on Elm Street Freddy Kruger "Freddy's Glove" Prop - This is one thing that I absolutely love. I would pick this up in a heart beat and scare the crap out of kids in the neighborhood. This replica Freddy Kruger glove is just amazing, and while it's not going to kill anyone, it's something to give a true horror fan. Forget the dvd's, get this thing, it's rad.

So there you have it folks. There goes my 2010 holiday gift list, guide, or whatever. I guess I should have posted this a while ago, but instead I posted it today...cause I'm an idiot. If you have a few extra pennies click the links provided to shop on amazon and help support this site. I'll have a review of a recent indie horror film coming Friday, and then a nice Christmas post for you guys that celebrate.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Friday The 13th Part 3 Review

friday 3d

Alright, the year was 1982 and the franchise known for one mean looking dude was back, and this time it was in full 3-D. That's right, 3D film isn't something that just came out in the last two years to annoy the crap out of me, it was around in the 1980's and this film was theatrically released with as much 3-D possible. The hilarious thing about this film, was that it was supposed to kill off the series and make it into a trilogy, but somehow by hook or crook, they kept making sequels, and I kept on buying popcorn and watching them.

Friday the 13th Part 3 was released in 1982, and it was a solid sequel to the franchise. The story was similar, a group of teens are out for some fun near Crystal Lake and they run into Jason, who's out for blood again. There is a few b-stories here, with a few quality gratuitous sex scenes, and quality kills, but overall, it's another predictable romp through Friday the 13th territory.

There is a bit more blood in this film than the previous movies, but the camera moves away from the more gorey parts so that you're not completely disgusted. It's interesting to see the body count stiffen as the movies go through the years, and ultimately, the gore and violence becomes cartoon like in the more recent movies. This time around, the gore is restricted to a few easy kills from long range.

It's interesting to note that there is a "token" black guy in this film, and guess what? He doesn't die first! He actually makes it pretty far, although he is taken out towards the end of the film, and he gets hacked to death, although it's off screen, so that no one gets offended.

There is nudity in this film, and it's not half bad. But it's not as extended as some of the latter films, especially that of Jason Goes To Hell, but it will be something for those that are keeping track of what predictable things happen in slasher films from the 1980's. I appreciated it, and it was a sure sign that someone was going to die.

The ending of this film is interesting as the last survivor wakes up to see Jason and out of the water comes his mother!!!! Yes, nice quality kill spot here. The movie has Jason dying, yet again, and we can only assume that he's finally dead, but those that are following the series, know that this is not the last time we see Jason Voorhees.

3D is interesting on dvd, especially since you have no 3-D glasses to make the effect work. There are a lot of shots with things flying at you, some good, some just ludicrous. There are some interesting undertones here and there about being left out, left behind, and trying to fit. But no one is really thinking about the social commentary that the film seems to display, as this is another splatterfest, and one that most likely inspired the classic Turbo Grafx and Sega Genesis games Splatterhouse.

There is an alternate ending that was cut from the film, and it can be found on some of the dvd releases of this one. The main hero gets decapitated by Jason and it's just all a dream, one bad dream, but eh...it would've sucked to have that as the ending.

Friday the 13th Part 3 is not half bad, it's not my favorite by a long shot, but it has quality acting, fun death sequences, good overall tone, and some great jokes. There is even a scene where the teens have to eat their weed because the cops. Some might remember the opening to Super Troopers in which a similar thing happens, only in this film, there's no comedic payoff. Check this one out for sure, it's not terrible, although it pales in comparison to what's to come in the series.

If you're interested in getting the original VHS edition of Friday the 13th Part 3, because you're like me, and you like that sort of thing, you can purchase the vhs here in new condition.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Friday The 13th Part 2 Review



Before I start the review, I'd like to just say that this is post #500! That's right, 500 posts on Scary Film Review. Thank you everyone that reads, comments, and what not. Thank you. Leave comments, keep reading, subscribe via rss feeds and purchase crap from amazon. Thank you.

Steve Miner directed the second film in the series of Friday the 13th franchise and it was only 1 year after the original was a moderate box office hit. This second film lacked a lot of the things that made the first film so interesting, but developed into an unstoppable force and a new amazing slasher villain, his name, Jason.

The plot of the film takes place 2 months after the end of the first film. The only survivor of the Crystal Lake murders decides to go back near the lake to just have a training session with other like minded peers to help other kids at camp in the summer. Some of the camp counselors start talking about what happened, and out of the blue, we see a new killer emerge.

The film follows a lot of things that are now standard for the slasher movies. We understand the characters on a very light level, we get a variety of stereotypes here. You can forecast who is going to die here, and as soon as the clothes come off, you know that no one is going to survive, at least with any sort of ease.

There is minor gore, there isn't a lot of nudity, although there are some sex scenes, and the killings are ramped up to higher levels than the first, while moving the camera away from what might not be allowed to be shown. This film, if it were edited slightly, would actually be a pg-13 film today, rather than a rated R film.



We get to see the killer's face, although we see him with a bag over his head for the most part. He's not the Jason that you probably imagine today, he was just some guy that was killing teens. The movie moves forward quickly, and it's interesting to note how watchable this film is, despite being 30 years old.

There are some downsides, this film is not perfect. There are some minor flaws in the production, and Jason doesn't look nearly as menacing as he does in his latter career. Despite the visual flaws, the film moves into one of the cooler endings in horror from today or yesterday.

The final scene is one of horror history. Jason catches an unsuspecting cast member through glass and kills them, and it's such a cool moment in cinema. If you were watching it during the night, with full surround sound, you probably would jump. The calmness of the situation, the lack of noise really gets you when Jason's arms push through glass and the blood of the victim is spilled. There is an awesome sequence and throwback to the original ending with Jason's mother jumping out of the water...or maybe that was the 3rd one? I forget.

This film isn't that scary. There are some great scenes in this film, I like it well enough, and it's not necessarily one that many horror movie fans are going to remember outside of the other sequels. I know for me, it's not as great as Jason Lives (Friday the 13th VI), but it's still a quality slasher flick.

I find it odd that Jason doesn't seem as super powerful, and he's not zombie like in his movements. He just seems normal, older, and just random.

nes

The movie really reminded me of the NES video game. I loved the video game, even though I could never seem to get to the final stage and fight Jason's Mom. The game featured a linear pacing left to right and you had to go rescue kids around Crystal Lake. If you haven't played it or haven't bought the game, get it here now!

Alright, Friday the 13th Part 2 is recommended. I enjoyed it as a kid, and I think it's still worth its bearings today. It's not the best in the series, but it's a good sequel, not a great one, a good one. If you haven't seen this one in a while, don't expect the fast pacing of the third in the series, and don't expect the buckets of gore that you saw in Jason Goes To Hell, but it's still a positive step in the series and a good overall horror film, and that's my two cents. You can purchase Friday the 13th Part 2 here.



Lastly, one of the coolest things about Jason now, is the fact that there are some sick action figures available directly from the film! This wasn't around when I was a kid, but now? Oh man.

jason bag head

Jason Action Figure From Friday the 13th Part 2

jason goes to hell figure

My personal favorite, Jason Action Figure From Jason Goes To Hell, which is one of my personal favorite films of all time. Oh and if you have a few dimes, the more prominent action figure from Jason Goes To Hell is so rad, it hurts.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Top 5 CHRISTMAS Horror Movies

I don't do a lot of Top 5 lists, simply because I don't spend a lot of time thinking about horror when it's not time to sit down and review. I know, that's going to stun some people, but it's true. When I think of horror, it's a very specific time and frame of mind, although there are exceptions. I did think about how awesome it would be to do a podcast with jervaise, me and jervaise, oh man, the horror movie podcast world would implode and of course someone would get sued for bashing the British film industry, truth or not.

With the Holidays upon us, and everyone talking about crap, here is my picks for top 5 Holiday Horror Movies of all time!

How The List Was Compiled

Last year around this time I did a whole month of watching just Christmas related horror movies. The year before I did the same thing, but I didn't document it on this site as much. I even spent a lot of time at work watching these movies with my coworkers. We watched so much horror that some of the movies just fell flat, but this year, I started to go back and watch all the Holiday related horror movies that I could. I even purchased some vhs tapes from ebay for the sole reason of watching them for review. I'll review those later, but for now, I compiled my 5 favorites. You might agree, you might disagree, and I'd love to hear your thoughts, because I probably am not going to pick your #1.

I'd also like to mention that I'm NOT putting these in order of best, I'm just randomly throwing out a top 5, so don't go crazy when you don't see your favorite as #1. It's all relative. These are my top 5 holiday horror movies, your list will be different, but hook it up with some comments.

THE TOP 5 CHRISTMAS HORROR MOVIES

blackxmas

5. Black X-Mas 2006 - This film knocked me out when I saw it. It really wasn't all that good on paper. A bunch of random chicks in a dorm house getting knocked off instead of knocked up? I'll buy it, but I'm not liking it unless there's a bit more slashing, and boy did the film live up. It is brutal, and boy is it brutal. I do not throw that term around lightly, as there are some sick death sequences, and the ending is so good so poignant, and so "Christmas" related. I think the final sequences stole a little from Argento's "Suspiria" but whatever, it's still classic. I didn't give this movie a fare shake when it first came out, but once I saw it on dvd, I realized that I missed out on watching it on the big screen.

Speaking of the big screen, I wanted to mention the fact that I do NOT own a big screen, flat screen or anything. I watch movies on my old UHF analog television, which sucks, but when you're broke, you're broke.

chopping mall

4. Chopping Mall - Sure it might not be a full Christmas movie, but what goes synonymously with the holidays as much as Shopping does? I mean, the poster even says it nicely, "Where Shopping Can Cost You An Arm and a Leg". For horror and science fiction fans that hate robots in general and are scared of what they are supposedly going to do in the near future, this is further proof of their rebellion. The premise of this one is simple, a group of idiots want to stay inside the mall after it closes, and when they do, they end up meeting a Robot security guard that goes rogue! There is an awesome head explosion scene at one point and it's just awesome.

It's interesting to note that The Simpsons did a tribute to this notion when Milhouse and Bart go into a mall after it closes and there is a robotic animal loose. Or wait, is it a real animal? I forget. Whatever the case is, there's a little throwback, whether it was intentional or not, that's another story altogether.

santas slay

3. Santa's Slay - Bill Goldberg vs DDP at WCW's Halloween Havoc is my favorite WCW World Heavyweight title match. That being said, this is my second Bill Golbderg moment. Santa's Slay is an interesting horror movie that is not only rated R, not only straight to dvd, but full of greatness. From the opening segments this film is a hard R and features a lot of gore. It has some great overall kills, Santa does NOT look like an anti-hero, and the ending is so stupid that you'll swear R.L. Stine wrote this crap. It's still worth checking out and it's one of my personal favorites.

childs play

2. Child's Play - This interesting piece not only has a great overall supernatural feel, it was one of the first horror movies that I personally kept renting from the Korean video store near my house. I wore out the vhs from renting it so much because I thought it was rad. 20 plus years later it's the #2 Christmas horror movie. This movie features a present gone completely wrong and boy does it go bad. The movie spawned several sequels and it was sick. I know, it's easy to dismiss the killer since it's just a doll, but it's more than that, it's a killer freaking doll with the soul of a....never mind. It's just a good one.

On another side note, remember that evil Krusty doll on the Simpsons? That was great.

silent night

1. Silent Night Deadly Night - The number one movie is none other than this one. Since I was a kid, I loved this film, and I loved the gore. I loved every aspect of this film so much that when the sequel came out, I bought it. You have to remember that in the 80's if you bought a vhs tape it was not $9.99 it was $29.99 and it sucked. I bought the second one because the first one didn't get a full release because some parents thought it was too harsh to have Santa Claus looked upon as a villain and a vile villain. The story is about a young boy who witnesses the rape and killing of his parents, and hates Santa Claus. The first of the series is quite good, better than the rest, and has been restored digitally with juxtaposing clips of the old vhs transfer to show you how advanced the dvd truly is.

The film features everything you could want in a horror movie, not just a holiday horror movie. It has gore, it has sex, it has boobs, it has teenagers getting their heads chopped off, and Santa Claus getting punched out. Oh and there's this weird sex scene at one point that is followed up by a nun whipping the crap out of them while screaming "NAUGHTY". I still think it's the greatest Christmas horror movie ever made, but that's just me.

So there you have it folks, a little killer list for you guys to enjoy on this Christmas holiday. If you haven't read my previous holiday themed reviews, you can read them here. If you want to help out this blog you can advertise or you can leave a comment and buy dvd's from the links I provide.

Be sure to let me know what horror and non horror movies you like to watch during the holidays and also if you haven't subscribed via RSS feed, go for it, you might enjoy it better than coming back here all the time.

I'll return with more reviews and more scary stupid crap. I'm going to go and read my Christmas Zombies Comic Book, and that's that.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

New Inline Ads

I spent several years trying to avoid certain advertisements, and the longer I write, the more I see an opportunity to gain a little bit of financial compensation. I wanted to give you guys a heads up before you see this place turn into a Las Vegas street.

There are a couple of things I'll be implementing to add revenue to this website. The first is primarily in line text links. These links will come up within pages and they will offer what I hope, relative links to the content. These links will have a different look and feel.

With inline links, I will stop using and promoting so many dvd links. Out of 500+ posts, I haven't been able to sell any dvd's or even products on amazon. With so many years invested in promoting amazon online and trying to get people to purchase horror, it's just failing constantly.

There will be more relevant sidebar links as well, but those will be non intrusive.

To compensate for the new ads, I will be adding 4th review each week. Right now, I update Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. However, now you will be getting an additional review on either Saturday or Sunday, giving you 4 horror movie reviews and recommendations a week. I will also be offering more content, longer diatribes in terms of reviews and so much more. I'm trying really hard to make this site better, and at the same time trying to squeeze a dollar out of it.

Why make money off this?

I have spoken previously about how I don't have a job. I don't have a job, and that doesn't bug me as much as the fact that I owe 45,000 dollars to Sallie Mae for student loans. Those loans, I've been trying to pay back with my work, freelance and other, and it hasn't been easy. I have a degree in Interactive Media Design and I live in a city with less than 20,000 residents. I plan to move forward and move away from this city to a larger city, but before I do, I have to make a few dollars.

I will be selling off my dvd collection, my vinyl records, and 90% of all my possessions.

Here's the deal though. I will be stopping all the ads when and if i get a full time job to cover the expenses of not only purchasing horror dvd's to review but also the netflix account that helps me get more movies to review.

I will not put pop up ads, pop under ads, or anything else. So when you see these, please don't feel that I'm selling out...I'm buying in...hahah...I kid I kid.

I'm going to go watch more horror, and we'll be back on track on Friday.

Support this blog by visiting the Scary Film Web Store here.

New Comment Policy Starting Today

This time of the month I would traditionally write out all the comments, and then answer them in one large post, twice a month. I guess that's 2 posts, but whatever. Today was going to be one of those days where I painstakingly pine over all your comments, and we talk about the crap you guys are saying, and to be fair, some of it is in fact crap, total crap, but some of it is actually rather entertaining.

The new comment policy defined

This is how it's going to work, since I get such a large amount of comments and I don't want to copy and paste a million comments every 15 days, I'm going to be allowing you guys to just go nuts and comment whenever you'd like, as you've been doing.

The Difference being that I will be commenting in posts, rather than putting them on the front page. I will then see about adding a widget in the sidebar to announce the newest comments, so that you can go over there and talk random trash or bs your way into a conversation of a million comments.

That being said, the comments that were left from November 30th - December 14th will now start getting replies from me, so you'll have to back track or wait for the widget.

This comes only because I've been getting far more comments in my inbox than I choose to compile and talk about in the posts, so lucky you, you get real time commentary from me, because I still have no damn job and not even a reply.

Thanks again for your patience.


Support this blog by visiting the Scary Film Web Store here.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Predators Review

predators dvd

Predators seemed rushed when it was released. I didn't know if the 80's film could get a good reboot, and my fears were confirmed when the opening scene showed Adrien Brody's character falling out of the sky into an alien planet.

The film directed by Robert Rodriguez felt like a grindhouse film at some points, and had me interested for a good 40 minutes, but then just fell off in terms of plot and pacing. The slow moving movie really didn't go to well, even if Topher Grace, Danny Trejo, and others rounded out the cast and made things interesting. At the 50 minute mark I threw in the towel, and just grew tired of this terrible movie.

The plot revolves around a group of random strangers dropped onto an alien planet to survive. That's literally, how the plot revolves, seriously. There are a few nuances and points, but overall, it's as simple as you can make it, and as it should be.

Predators isn't a great film, and is just a bad rehashing of the 80's. The 1980's version is far superior, and normally, I wouldn't say that in terms of pacing or technology, but this one just lackluster on all fronts. I'm not sure what was worst about the film, the second half, or the terrible use of CG and more. I've seen bad movies before, but this is one of the worst mainstream full releases that I've seen in a long time.

I lost interest mid-way through the film, as the ludicrous film continued to beat me in the brain with bad logic, bad computer graphics, and random deaths and attempts at gore. It seemed like every time I was ready to throw in the towel, they found a way to wake me up, but there seemed to be no purpose. I know, I might be in the minority with thinking that Arnold Schwarzenegger's Predator was far superior, this film just made me hate remakes that much more.

Adrien Brody has been really hit or miss lately. I think I might have lost a little hope for the guy when he stopped the release or rather the continued release of "Gialo" before I could see it. Not even he could save this turd of a film.

But some people liked it. That's fine. You can purchase Predators on dvd here, and high definition blu ray here. Maybe I need to watch it again, but after the movie was over, I just wanted to watch the original within 20 - 30 minutes of this film. The slow pace, the terrible over acting, and even worse death scenes make this movie one of the worst excuses for science fiction. I'm so tired of these lackluster mainstream horror releases.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Enter The Dark Review

enter the dark

This week I've been blessed to review not one but 2 independent horror movies. I thoroughly enjoyed "The Taint" and therefore, I had high hopes for "Enter the Dark" just because I'm growing to love more and more indie horror.

Enter The Dark is a film about two friends that find a very scary situation in their home. The premise seemed a bit light, but the execution is so good, it's a shame this type of film making isn't getting more attention from those that have a lot of money. (I for one don't have any)

The look of the film took me aback. I'm not a film maker, so I can't tell you what cameras are being used, whether or not these guys are utilizing high technology, but I can say this much, it's better than most straight to dvd fare. The edits, the sequencing, the frame, everything here is done to perfection, and you'll swear that this film is made by a major studio. I'm not just paying lip service either, there is a combination of professional sequencing and editing placed here that makes the film work on a visual level, far better than 90% of the straight to dvd films I've seen in recent years from places like "Lionsgate" for example.

The acting is done well. You actually get a performance that isn't too "forced". Horror has a way of making actors look like cartoons, but in this film you get the notion that the characters are NOT acting but rather are just two guys going around a house looking for weird noises. Even the dialogue seems natural, and you never get stupid one liners, you actually start to feel as though you're there, especially with the pov style edits that puts you behind the lens of a handheld.

Get Scared in 17 Minutes

17 Minutes doesn't seem like enough time to set up a narrative, but it works. I didn't feel like I needed a lengthy back story to appreciate this scary short, in the 17 minutes that this film takes to showcase a scary movie, it does a great job in offering a scary feeling. In fact, the impact of the turns and the final sequences get the heart racing much faster than many films that take 90 minutes and longer to get the same effect.

The idea of darkness and sound alongside paranormal elements really do play on natural fears. I found myself a bit nervous at one point in particular, as one of the sounds in the film seemed to be coming from my neighbor's apartment...but alas, it was just my headphones.

No Gore, No Boobs, No Problem

Despite the fact that this horror film has NO major gratuitous shower scenes, no major sexual situations, and no major gross out effects, it still is very effective at what it does have. It has a very surreal, scary and realistic depiction of a universal fear that all of us have, even if we suppress it far below.

Todd Miro and his crew really make quite a unique journey, albeit short. It's a sonic achievement of style and horror, but in a very psychological way. The chaos of the final scenes melt away the set up and leave you wanting more. Enter the Dark is a very tight film, a short film, but a very tight film where nothing is wasted, and everything comes crashing in at the end. I liked it.

Here is a trailer for Enter The Dark:

Enter The Dark Trailer from Todd Miro on Vimeo.

You can learn more and watch Enter The Dark here.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Taint Review

taint

The Taint is a movie I knew nothing about, and really wasn't sure what I was in for, but man, it won me over in the first 5 minutes. The title sequence music and juxtopozitioning was awesome. The music was great, the credits were hot pink, I bought in, and had to pay more attention.

This movie has a lot of parts to it, if not to sum up the plot, just to throw a wrench in your conventional horror movie and even comedy. The plot loosely has to do with a zombie apocalypse, but not nearly as large scale as your traditional zombie flick, but there's definitely a sickness going on, and it seems t obe transmitted through water and zombie biting, eating. Although, there doesn't appear to be a lot of that, at least not at first, as the gore levels rise to obscene levels.

The Gore

Let's talk gore. Most rated R films have some levels, some independents have more, but the gore in horror is one of those topics that I try to mention as a passing review point, but not here. The gore gets a whole category on its own because there is a gratuitous amount of it, to the point where there are scenes dedicated to just throwing a bucket of blood on someone to prove how bloody this movie is. I kid you not, there are edits where off camera someone is throwing a bucket of blood on someone as a direct result of a gunshot wound or something of the likes. That just makes the film so much cooler, and it's a testament to creativity. I love it.

The Music

The music moves through both classical pieces to action movie levels. There is a great deal of jump and the music fits each setting and scene. I enjoyed it greatly.

The Whole Picture

The whole movie is good. I liked the transitions and the flashbacks, as well as the absurdity of the whole thing. The Taint really is odd, the dialogue isn't great, but I'm sure this film wasn't meant to be a true horror film, as it is far more comedic than horrific.

That being said, I was taken aback at the amount of penises that I had to see, even if they weren't overtly sexual, as there were some sick ones shown, usually oozing out substance.

I recommend The Taint, I think it's a great little piece of independent horror comedy, and is going to be hard to top. It is my #1 comedy horror film of the year, and that's saying a lot...or not saying a lot...I liked this movie. You might like it too. The Taint was produced and directed by Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson and boy oh boy did they make something cool. I wish I could be involved with film on this level, but alas...I'm stuck writing and reviewing film for no money...it's been 15 months since I had a job....I hate life...but I love this movie! The Taint RULES!!!!

Here is a trailer for THE TAINT:

The Taint Trailer (NSFW) from Dan Nelson on Vimeo.

It's offensive, it's brash, it's the most creative horror comedy I've seen since Meet The Deedles or Bad Taste or Dracula xxx!

You can learn more from Taint Movie's Website here. In the words of Ric Flair, WOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO! I'm surprised how good this one is, I didn't expect it.

Monday, December 6, 2010

REWIND: The Complete Silent Night Deadly Night

I was fully ready to review a new film today, but unfortunately I had something come up. I wish it were a job, but instead it was just busy work at home, you know, washing dishes etc etc. So enjoy this piece of crap rewind, while I write up a review for Wednesday...ugh...life sucks when you have no job during the holidays...seriously.



I had spent a pretty penny in November on ebay trying to get good quality versions of Silent Night Deadly Night 3, 4, and 5. Then two weeks later, guess what happened? The studios decided to release a box set to complete the 5 set of films onto dvd. That's right, you can not get the whole set on dvd, and that really ticked me off.

However, instead of sitting around and moping, I decided to go ahead with my reviews as scheduled. But before I get into the world of Silent Night Deadly Night sequels, you might want to check out my previous commentaries on the film set. Silent Night Deadly Night on dvd and part 2, as well as a second look at the iconic series.

Silent Night Deadly Night Review
Silent Night Deadly Night 2 Review
A Real Santa Claus Killer
Second Look: Silent Night Deadly Night

Stay tuned for the next three pieces of the film series, reviewed the way they should've been seen; on vhs! That's right, on vhs, so you're in for a treat...well I'm in for a treat. You'll just be bored to death, as is the norm on this site.

Don't forget to check out Silent Night Deadly Night 3-5 on dvd now in a box set.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Sodomatik Mixtape Review

I get a lot of emails from people wanting me to review their films, and for the most part, they aren't half bad. I've yet to receive something terrible, and I was afraid that this was going to be the first one. On the surface, the Sodomatik Mixtape video is nothing more than a porno movie for gore/horror fans, but once I sat down to see the whole thing, I realized, it's probably one of the best non-nonsense splatter mash ups I've ever seen, and therefore, it gets my thumbs up.

Sodomatik is a mix tape of horror and gore scenes froma wide variety of exploitation and horror films from around the years. It's 70 some odd minutes of all the best scenes that you've probably remembered, but don't necessarily remember much else. I mean, some of the scenes are taken from movies that are 90 minutes long, and feature long diatribes of stupid dialogue and random tomfoolery.

If you're a fan of gore, you owe it to yourself to check out this thing, as it is literally 70 some odd minutes of pure gore. If you're not into that sort of thing, well, then you're probably not a hardcore horror movie fan, but if you are, then this is for you. It's no-nonsense, no plot point, music and visualizations that will have you dropping the fork and holding your stomach, and that's a good thing. You can check out Sodomatik dvd and downloads here.

I for one, couldn't eat lunch after watching it. It's not a bad movie, if you can call it that, and it should get more eyeballs...er...nevermind. Some of the best sequences are found here, no need to fast forward your old vhs tape or try to use the clumsy forwarding mechanism on your dvd player, it's all here!

There are trailers floating around, but I decided not to post it, because it's THAT gorey...so you'll have to just take my word for it.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

End of the Month Deathtoll November 2010 Edition

The end of the month/beginning, is usually meant for posts where I give you fine readers a quick link back to the reviews I did this month. This month is no different. I have the next 3 reviews in the chamber and ready to roll. If you're not familiar with the blog, I only post every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, simply because there hasn't been a lot of fan fare for me to accelerate the posting.

In fact, we're nearing 500 posts and the hits, sales, and ad revenue is non-existent. That's not to say that I'm doing this only for the money, or that I started this site solely on the basis of earning a dime, but as a reflection of readership, subscribers and that sort of thing, I'm barely scraping by.

I guess it sucks when you're in my position. It's month #15 that I do not have a job, no major prospects (including applications to fast food places), and can barely pay the rent thanks to my wife. It's easy to see that I'm a failure, and getting a college education paid by student loans was NOT the right way for me, but alas, enough of that. Here are the past month's reviews/posts, enjoy.

From The Mailbag End of November 2010 Edition
The Black Guy Dies Last
REWIND: Santa's Slay Review
REWIND: Masters of Horror: We All Scream For Ice C...
An American Werewolf in London Review
Final Stab Review
From The Mailbag Mid November 2010 Edition
Return To Cabin By The Lake Review
Cabin By The Lake Review
REWIND: Thankskilling Review
REWIND: Constantine Review
Wait Until Dark Review
Hellphone Full Official Movie Trailer
Saw 3D Review

If you're not sure where the rest of the reviews are, you can find the big list of reviews/posts by clicking here.

Support this blog by visiting the Scary Film Web Store here.

Monday, November 29, 2010

From The Mailbag End of November 2010 Edition

From the mailbag is back once again, only because we're a couple of posts away from the end of the month. Before I dive into your feedback, I want to make sure you guys were aware of a couple of quick things.

First and foremost, this December I will NOT be doing a "holiday of horrors" like I did last year. If you have forgotten, last year I wrote reviews specifically in the "holiday horror" category, and this year I'm not going to do that. But I will be doing reviews, so stay tuned.

Secondly, on a personal note, I still haven't found any type of employment. With that being said, if you deem it necessary to purchase movies and media this holiday season, please utilize the amazon links found on this page, to do so. Thank you.

Now, for the comments, and a few of my own zingers, but mostly you guys. Jervaise, some of your comments don't really require my response, as there is nothing more to say.

Anonymous said in regards to my "Silent Hill Review":

You're crazy! I Love silent hill!

Nope. You're wrong.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Wind Chill Review":

I want to bugger Emily Blunt in her arse not her cunt...HA..HA..HA..(as she was in 2001 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously) its just such a shame thats shes British rubbish. By the way, i actually thought that "Wind Chill" was rather cosy, soothing and even perhaps kinda` charming in certain ways and i think it might achieve a cult following or even become a Christmas favorite for those reasons.

I highly doubt it will be a cult following induced film, in fact, but I'm usually wrong.

Anonymous said in regards to my "Silent Hill Review":

I don't like your opinion on silent hill. You must be really boring.

I am boring, that's why I write a blog and you leave "anonymous" comments.

Anonymous said in regards to my "Silent Hill Review":

The first time i saw this movie, i was sitting alone. what i wasnt excpecting was the town being silent hill. however, this wovie inspired me to write my own silent novel based on a young boy. Silent hill is an amzaazzzzzing movie! ~16 year old girl~

When I was 16, I had already seen all the British film industries finest, and therefore my taste was terrible. Apparently, yours is too.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "REWIND: Take Me Down To Nightmare City Where The G...":

The thing i like most about Italian horror films is that they`re not British.

Hahah, come on man, come on! There's more to like than just that.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Final Stab Review":

Sir Jorge, google "Lisa Phillips Vintage Porn" as well, she was pretty amazing too (although not as incredible as the astonishing Miss Hickey obviously) its just a shame she is British. By the way, i think Pauline is Irish so thats not quite as bad thankfully.

I see...I see.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my American Werewolf in London review:

I`ve always regarded "An American Werewolf In London" as one of the most ludicrously over-rated horror movies in the history of cinema (and not just because it was shot in England, although that doesn`t help things either obviously). "The Howling" (released around the same time) is 100 times better. Why couldn`t the werewolf have been in New York or Tokyo or Berlin or Los Angeles or..or..any-fucking-where except fucking London? then it would have been a much better movie.

Sir Jorge, i was just looking at the cast list of the latest Harry Potter movie and seeing the names of all that British filth literally made me want to vomit, BLOODY BRITISH GARBAGE. By the way, i want to bugger Emma Watson even if she is British rubbish.


Your consistency on the topic of anti-London and all this British is astounding. I still want to visit the place.

The World of Lurlene Mcdaniel said in regards to my "Return To Cabin By The Lake Review":

I hate this movie for the fact that once again that creepy fucker is still alive.

i mean wtf.

i love judd nelson though, idk why but i guess it was because he was so awesome in that tales from the crypt episode "what's cookin" where he played that sidekick cook named gaston, who would slaughter people and cook them. Disturbing, but i liked the character he played in that film.


Hmm...Nelson in Tales from the Crypt? I'll have to check it out. This movie though, terrible, I can't believe I sat through it and the sequel.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Silent Hill Review":

"Silent Hill" was a real surprise to me because i genuinely thought it was one of the best films i`ve ever seen (literally). By the way, i want to bugger Radha Mitchell (as she was in 1991 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously). I just realised Jodelle Ferland just turned 16 so 2 years from now i`ll be desperately wanting to get my knob up her bum as well.

The best? Wow, that's a new low.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "REWIND: Ghoulies II Review":

Sir Jorge, i wonder if the British film industry could ever produce anything as good as "Ghoulies II"?, i very much doubt it !!!.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to "Return To Cabin By The Lake Review":

I just visited lurlene`s site and although she obviously isn`t 18 i`d still love to bugger her senseless.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my"An American Werewolf in London Review":

So that Potter garbage made $125 million dollars in its opening week-end, the American movie going public should be absolutely ashamed of themselves for encouraging this British made celluloid dog-shit (and for 10 years now as well), you`d have thought that they would have realised what a pile of shit Harry Potter was 20 minutes into the first movie but here they are 10 years later still buying into what is the most pathetic and laughable franchise of all time, its beyond my comprehension how such a vast number of people can allow themselves to be conned for so long by such unwatchable rubbish.

It might be unwatchable for us, but apparently 100+ millions of dollars worth of tickets were sold.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my"Final Stab Review":

Sir Jorge, have you seen that incredible bird who runs that horror movie reveiw site called "Mermaid Heather"?, the birds called Heather Santrous and i think the bird is one of the most gorgeous little darlin`s i`ve ever seen.

I see...hmm...It's on my radar.

The World of Lurlene Mcdaniel said in regards to my "REWIND: Santa's Slay Review":

dude, I love Santa's slay. That movie was awesome.

i remember first watching it on fear net all the way and ever since then, I immediately fell in love with the movie. Everything you said is true, and i gotta say, bill goldberg was great playing evil santa claus.

don't forget, the chick who played the female protagonist also played evil bitchy Chris farguson in the remake of carrie (2002).


Yes, it's one of the rare Holiday Horror film gems. I'll have to rewatch Carrie from 2002.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "REWIND: A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Reve...":

The pansy queer bullshit in this movie completely spoilt it for me, dirty faggots they always spoil every film they`re involved with. By the way, i hate Robert Englunds surname (for obvious reasons).

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "REWIND: Silver Bullet Review":

2 things i like about Stephen King: Hes heterosexual and he isn`t British.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "They Call Her One Eye Review":

I want to bugger Christina Lindberg (as she was at the time this movie was made, not as she is now obviously).

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Puppet Master Review":

Have you seen that episode of the old T.V. show "Night Gallery" called "The Doll" (originally shown in 1970)?, its ludicrously and laughably primitive by todays standards but i still find it strangely unnerveing whenever i watch it.

Yes! I love Night Gallery, it's one of my favorite shows from that era, or any era for that matter.

The World of Lurlene Mcdaniel said in regards to my post "The Black Guy Dies Last":

it's been a while since i've last seen this film. Luckily i recorded it on tape while fear net was playing it. I miss the slasher films of the 80's and before.

Night of the demons was a good film. And i don't think your racist at all and you do have a point there.


I have the remake screener I need to review, I'll get to it in December.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "The Black Guy Dies Last":

Sir Jorge, is your fiancee a hot chick?, maybe you could post a picture of her.

My fiancee was so hot, I married her in 2006. No pics will be posted, sorry.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Brotherhood of Blood Review":

Sir Jorge, i dont care how bad it supposedly is "Brotherhood of Blood" is still 100 times better than anything the British film industry has ever produced (or could ever dream of producing), just another reminder to keep you well away from British garbage.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "REWIND: The Omen IV: The Awakening Review":

It may have been made for television but i`d rather watch "O-girl IV: The Awakening" in a cinema than any of that British made Harry Potter garbage any day of the week, just to put into perspective again what a laughable pathetic joke the British film industry really is.

I'm right there with you.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "REWIND: Friday The 13th Part VI: Jason Lives Revie...":

Alice Cooper is a bloody load of old rubbish although what redeems him slightly is his rampaging heterosexuality and the fact that he isn`t British.

I like him none the less.

Anonymous said in regards to my "Peacock Review":

i think this movie good, how cillian play his role as 2 different person, its interesting and i think not every actor can do that, anyway he look goods as woman or man and i like it both lol

It was ok at best.

That's the end of this months comments. I'm broke, and well broke. I'll review more in the coming month, including some interesting independent film a UK screener, and much more coming your way. If you have a few extra pennies, support the blog and me by visiting amazon links I post.

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