Splatter University Review

We return to the 1980s and this time around we are going to take a look at a Troma Entertainment release. The budget on this was very low, and it shows, but hey, that doesn’t necessarily mean the movie is bad, right? “Splatter University” is a low budget slasher film, and it has a lot to offer, even with a limited budget, and it is a surprise I didn’t see it sooner than I did.

The plot revolves around an escaped insane asylum patient that goes on a killing spree. Through the movie, however, you don’t see where he lands and when the body count starts to rise, things get hectic and fingers start getting pointed. There’s a sense of “Giallo” in this one, as you only see the knife that kills, and nothing else. It’s interesting to see  how that works, but it’s an effective way to slash. After the body count starts to rise, there’s a reveal of the killer and you start to root for the final girl, even though this breaks tradition.

The pacing of the movie is a little slow at times. I found myself wondering when the next victim was going to take a fall. However, whenever I started to think that, something would happen and things would definitely ramp up. The music is good, the shots are ok, and the kills are creatively done in first person view. There’s a sense of suspense throughout and there’s even a misdirection with who the killer could be, making this an above average slasher if you ask me.

“Splatter University” is not going to win any awards, and of course it didn’t. It’s a movie that diehard horror fans are going to love, and casual viewers will watch once and move on. I for one think it’s not half bad, and would rate it a 3 out of 5, with some good overall action, and interesting premise. It’s straight to the point, gives you a good deal of shock, and well, I won’t ruin it, just watch the movie and see if it’s up your alley, I know it was up mine for sure.

Terrifier Review

Often times movies are slow moving engagements. That is true for modern horror, and a lot of the time I’m flabbergasted by what audiences will sit through to get a little thrill. When I saw the poster for this film, I wasn’t expecting a lot. I figured it would be a slasher, and well we all know that the mother of killer clown movies either comes from outer space or “IT”, but this was different, it felt different, and it started off innocent enough, and just derailed fast.

The premise is simple enough, a killer clown is hunting down individuals, and no matter what they do, he keeps coming back. A slasher of 1980s lore is what you get here, and not much else to really explain. Sure, there are moments where the story takes you to care about the characters slightly, as they have some peril outside of the killer clown, but it’s short lived. This is a straight forward slasher and it is fast moving. There is not a lot of room for filler in this one, and that’s something that I appreciated about it. It's a movie that knows what the audience wants, and knocks you in the teeth within the first act.

The expected horror movie tropes live in with this one, including the final girl, albeit not without putting up one hell of a fight. You get the unstoppable villain, and you’re drenched in gore and blood as well. There’s nothing too complex about the movie, and it really draws you in with a powerful performance from David Howard Thornton as Art The Clown.

Terrifier isn’t brain candy, but it is a good slasher with an easy premise, and something that will have you thrilled and shocked at times. This is horror sliced up the way you expect from the 1980s and 1990s to boot, not “modern” day slow moving genre art. That’s just my two cents, you should pick up the blu ray
and make up  your mind on it, but I recommend it, so there’s that.

X Review

I wanted to see the movie “X” for quite some time. I first heard it was going to be in theaters, and for whatever reason I just never got around to seeing it. I then waited for it to be available for streaming, and finally got it, so that I can see the overall hyped up movie. The movie had a simple premise, and it followed through with it quite well, leaving nothing to the imagination, and it’s an interesting ride, albeit not one that I may want to revisit soon.

The movie is simple enough, a group of people set out to make an adult film on a farm that they rented and turned into a makeshift studio. They follow the protocols that you would expect, only they end up being thwarted by an elderly couple that is seriously creepy. The old couple find out what is going on and they don’t want that to occur, so instead of stopping production the old fashioned way, they do so with blood and guts.

Overall, the movie is shot well, it has decent cinematography and the acting isn’t horrendous. I found myself enjoying the movie for the most part, and there were definitely sequences that gave it a good measure of success in the scares department. There’s some limited gore too, and that’s definitely something to look out for with horror movies, and the likes.

The pacing was solid in this movie, leaving no dead air or boring spots, as the movie progresses. It does have a few jump scares, but it doesn’t rely heavily on those, and that’s something that I can appreciate overall. There’s a sense of homage to the film overall and you really do get this sort of feeling that the filmmakers are playing up to a smart audience. With that in mind, you don’t really get too deep with the characters, and they are taken out one by one.

“X” surprised me in a way. I thought it was going to be a bit more blatant in horror, and for some reason I just couldn’t get myself to want to watch it over again. It’s adequate, it has some gusto, and it definitely provides a good sense of dread, with great special effects that are modern and classic at the same time. I’d recommend seeing “X” for sure, but owning it, I don’t know, I’m on the fence about it still. 

Head Count Review

I love a good creature feature, and when presented with an option to watch I jump at the chance. That’s what I was told about “Head Count”. It was supposed to be a creature feature, and when I sat down to watch it, I was treated with something else, and while it may be creative, it definitely was not what I was expecting. In fact, it could very well be one of the worst executions of a film in a long time.

The premise is simple enough at first glance. A group of teens go to the desert for a party, and they begin to drink and have fun. In their fun, something sinister appears, and they can’t figure it out. It turns out that it’s a shapeshifting creature that emulates each one of them, and causes them to attempt suicide. This occurs after a chant is accidentally spoke of, similar to “Candyman”, if you recall that film.

There are no deep connections in this movie. The characters talk a lot, and not in a good way, it just falls flat. The creature is awful CGI and the story is convoluted at best. There are moments of dread, but it falls short of impact because there is something missing here, and I am not sure how to put my finger on it.

Overall, “Head Count” tries to be different. It has some gusto at times, but overall it’s a movie that you can skip. I haven’t seen a movie this bad in a while, and honestly, I don’t know if I’d recommend this to anyone unless you really like bad convoluted horror. It’s got horror elements, it just falls flat.

Eaten Alive Review

The year was 1976 when the movie “Eaten Alive” came out, and it was directed by Tobe Hooper. The movie is a mix of genres, but it is definitely a horror movie. It is a fast moving genre flick that mixes a creature feature with a slasher. It plays with several emotional elements that was easy to get away with at the time, but is definitely hard to watch in modern times. That’s why you have to really consider the time frame, 1976, and try not to apply modern cliché to it.

The plot of the film surrounds a hotel proprietor that is insane, and feeds people to a killer crocodile that lives near the hotel. We are not introduced to him right away, instead we focus on a side character that is played by Robert Englund. He is at a brothel and tries to go too far, that forces what looks to be a main heroine to get banished from brothel. She ends up going to the hotel, and the rest of the movie lies within that location. She goes in, and the proprietor tries to grope, leading to a fight, and away we go, to the crocodile! The crocodile is hidden in the shadows a bit, and you have to remember we are in the 1970s, so there is no CGI or anything that is going to cause this to be too much or anything. Instead, it’s a rubber creature, and it’s laughable at times, but there’s nuance to the cinematography so you don’t dwell too much on it. You also have to contend with the main slasher, Judd, who comes through with a scythe to cause issues. He’s lurking, the crocodile is eating dogs, and people, and you are thrown into the mix as new people come to the hotel.

This is a crude slasher flick, but it has a creature feature element to it. It also has some gratuitous nudity, harsh sexual elements, and redeeming qualities here and there. You’ll be surprised by how far some of the acting goes, and how believable the fights can seem at times. Tobe Hooper’s direction really does well in these sequences, and you really get a good sense of horror and dread throughout. As the movie progresses, we get some taboo moments, including a near killing of a child.

“Eaten Alive” gives you a sense of dread, a bit of creature feature glory with the crocodile, but also hinges on slasher with Judd and the scythe. You are going to find this to be a worthy addition to your collection as it pushes all the buttons of a good horror movie. It’s a slasher at heart, but the crocodile makes it a bit more redeeming, especially in the final act. It’s a good romp, solid acting, and classic Hooper direction. It’s a good one to watch at random, especially for a young Robert Englund.

Pick up Eaten Alive on BLU RAY Here. 

The Sleeper Review

The slasher genre is not what it used to be. It is not getting as many releases as it once did, but they are still out there. In fact, if you look below the mainstream, you will find that there are a lot of options to select from, and some that aren’t even that old. Today, we look at one such film, which is none other than “The Sleeper”. 

“The Sleeper” will immediately catch you off guard, it looks like it was filmed in the 1970s or 1980s. The film grain is such that it definitely lends itself to a different era of cinema, and it follows through the entire movie. It also shares a lot in common with other horror movies in that it immediately throws you into the scares, with a kill happening right away. We are introduced to the villain and his hammer. He immediately goes after someone at a sorority house, and then we get to the crux of the film. There are prank phone calls that come through the sorority house on a night where they will have a party. They continue to move forward with a party, including a pretty lame sex scene, and each new victim is called out. 

As far as slasher movies are concerned, this is one that is standard. It features your killer that is faster than most, the weapon which is a hammer, and the milky eyes that you see here and there. What caught me was the use of “Giallo” elements. You get that throughout with the focus on black gloves and the hammer. The camera follows the black gloves a lot, and you don’t see the face of the killer a lot, even though it happens. 

The movie is not without criticism. There is some slow pacing here and there, the killers motives are never revealed nor his back story at all, and we just get straight forward nonsense. The Joe Bob Briggs cameo was good though, but the overall sense of dread and slashings are trumped up and you get some gore effects here and there. 

“The Sleeper” is soaked in nostalgia. From the way it is filmed, to the way it is paced, to the kill spots and even ending. There is something for those that love that era here, meanwhile nothing for the modern horror fan. I did not find this to be updated in anyway, but that doesn’t mean it is a bad movie. In fact, I liked it a lot. It is a throwback, and it’s one that takes a little getting used to, considering we are in modern times. Filmed in 2012 from Gamma Knife Films, this is one movie that really goes for the gusto at times, and works well in the frame of nostalgic slashers. Outside of that, I’m not sure it works or holds up well, but maybe it doesn’t have to. It’s a fine film to check out, especially when you’re out of ideas on what to watch via streaming. 

Halloween (2018) Review

Halloween (2018) Poster

I waited for this movie to settle in my guts, and well, I finally saw it.

I took my sister to see this movie in a nice theater in Culver City, California and what I found was a trope that was very much in tune with the original movie, although with a lot of elements that are just, normal, in many ways. This takes on the idea of a sequel to the original movie, and it’s a testament to how creative people are today at times, but it also feels like a safe entry into the movie world that features one, Michael Myers.

You get a lot of people coming back to the series in this movie, and the plot revolves around a break out from the insane asylum, as per usual, and Michael shows up to his old haunts to look for Laurie and her kid. We catch up with Laurie, her kid, and the revenge that is going to be waiting Myers, if he shows up, and he does.

To say that Halloween is “safe” is an understatement. Every nook and cranny of this movie is predictable. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t entertaining, but in the course of horror movie sequels and attempts to revive narratives, this does nothing for me. Sure, it has a lot of nostalgia with the way it’s filmed, with some of the slow moving, cut away death sequences, but it also throws some notes to all the rest of the world of Halloween, including Season of the Witch. It’s easy on the eyes, but in the third act, it starts to get a little boring, and by the time you get to the end, you realize that you’ve been swindled into seeing the same movie again, only updated a few decades.

This is a movie that features what you want, death, mayhem, and of course, a nod to the past, without changing the future. It’s a solid entry, and it works for what it is, but let’s not look at this with rose colored glasses, because it’s not that great. The performances are good, Jamie Lee Curtis is great, and the rest is good, but the story suffers from formulas that are nothing short of paint by numbers. I don’t recommend spending money on this one, but hey, it’s part of a larger framework, so I guess it works to a certain degree. I didn’t think it trumped the others, and I don’t think it’s the best horror movie I’ve seen this year, or any year for that matter.

I could definitely wait for Blu Ray on this one, it’s that underwhelming and overrated for me. This, of course, after reviewing more than 900 movies for this blog.

Mom and Dad Review

Mom and Dad (2018) Poster 

Have you ever wanted to see Nicolas Cage go full blown Nic Cage? Well, then for that reason alone you have to take some time out of your oh so busy schedule to check out the psuedo-horror film, "Mom and Dad", which takes on a whole new meaning to the ideas of zombies, and technology as a whole.

The start of this movie is safe enough, the average home, and then things start to get a little odd. Nic Cage starts to have a bit of a problem in his ear, and there's an audible issue that no one is really sure why. Then we are taken to an average high school where the teachers are finding out that there's a problem. The problem? Parents are starting to kill their children, and that they should not be left out.

Of course, that doesn't stop a couple of kids from escaping, but all hell breaks loose as parents break down the gates and doors and start attacking. This is like zombies, but we don't see anyone getting eaten, as much as they are getting killed. We see a few notes of the parents, their problems, and the way that life was with backdrops that are interesting, but overall this is a showcase of horror for Nic Cage and Selma Blair, whom are middle-aged and having marital problems, blaming it on their kids.

The movie is fast paced, without a lot of filler, focusing on the larger story, then going back and forth to fill in the gaps for why Nic Cage and his Wife are feeling a bit down about being parents and in their 40s. There are call backs to the past, but there's a frequent focus on the frenetic pace afterwards, with a lot of shaking of the camera, and fast running with a zombie like frenzy at times. If you like the Italian zombie movies, then you'll like the way this is treated, as the parents are in a frenzy to kill their kids.

Meanwhile, the kids get the upper hand, and there's a lot of push back, and it all leads to some pretty gruesome sequences, and some hard hits, with great stunt work. I'm surprised at the quality of the cinematography, considering this wasn't a big budget movie at all. In fact, I was so impressed, that I ended up surprised by the ending, which doesn't really bring about closure. However, there's some serious fight here.

"Mom and Dad" is a movie that takes a zombie type of premise, and then shoves in a revenge plot and much more. It's hardcore, yet it's somewhat tame in certain areas. It's Nic Cage going full Nic Cage, to a laughable level at times. It's a fast paced, good working movie, and something that I doubt you're going to hate, unless you hate Nic Cage. I loved it. I am highly recommending this one.

Hey, hey, if you want to get this movie on Blu Ray, make sure that you click HERE and pick it up.

The Most Underrated Horror Movie Series Ever

As a horror fan, I've seen many horror movies go unwatched, untouched, and generally panned by critics and so called "fans" alike. These movies are not as bad as people think they are, and they are generally below the radar, and/or mistaken for something else. This is exactly the case with a series of films from the 1980's that rivaled any camp movie out there to date. The series in mind is none other than the infamous: Sleepaway Camp series!

First and foremost, the original film can be a little annoying, with its slow pacing, and its lack of clear cut gore or explanation for some of the dream sequences. The film follows a hard line of boredom, until after the turning point that is marked surprisingly enough by a long winded game of baseball! That's right, in the middle of the film, to mark the turning point, the director decided to have a full three or four innings of baseball! This was a bad idea, but it did make the movie a little longer, and therefore a full length release at the time of showcase. The movie followed along a mysterious plot of killings in the camp grounds, and it all came down to a shocker of an ending that is still talked about to this day. The reason why this film didn't make it to most homes and horror fans is because it was panned as a knockoff of a similar film at the time: Friday the 13th, which also featured a killer in the midst of a camp setting. It also boasted a young Kevin Bacon, and that doesn't seem to hurt.

The second film, had a grown up serial killer that was played by Pamela Springsteen, in another romp through the campgrounds. This time around, more people seemed to take notice, but the comparisons to similar films was rampant at time of release. The vhs cover featured the Freddy glove, and the Jason Mask, so the film makers and distributors saw a potential revival on vhs, and it did quite well in video rental circles.

The third installment of the film featured some cleavage on the cover, and a more distinct artist rendering that took horror fans by surprise, considering that by the time of its release more established brands had already begun to use full character models for their covers. One might make the argument that there was a saturation of horror sequels flooding the market in the late 80's and this one fell by the wayside in the midst of more prominent, household names. The film quality on the third one was surprisingly good, but the story and plot were so thin that the gore made up for any sort of length problems.

Underrated films exist in all genres. This is just one series that seems to be seeing a lot of recent press, but more on the lines of a remake and restructuring of the original story. We have seen this done recently by Rob Zombie and the Halloween franchise, and it's a winning formula in many senses. The most underrated films in my opinion usually revolve around similar stories in the genre. Sleepaway Camp could not get away from the constant comparisons to Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street, even if the series was making a good attempt at breaking ground with a woman as the main killer. It just didn't sit well with the over saturated market. Underrated films usually don't get much attention until years and years after the release.

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Hell’s Ground Review

The Middle East is not known for their horror movies. They just aren’t. That’s why “Hell’s Ground” is so special, it’s straight out of Pakistan. That’s right, it’s a Pakistani horror movie and they do something that shocks your senses, even if the story is somewhat derivative. I’m not familiar with the culture there, but there are some notes in the movie that seem to point at the fact that the characters are getting what they deserve.

The story revolves around a group of teenagers or young adults, as they travel across their native land to check out some awesome rock music. Along the way the dead rise up, and they are victims of a treacherous, zombie like invasion. Mix equal parts slasher flick and zombie movie, and you get a sense of what you’re going to be getting with this one.

Gore is turned up to 11 here, and you’re going to get hit with it at all different sides of the proverbial coin. The kids are constantly asked why they aren’t doing more beneficial things instead of questing to see a band. This definitely points to the fact that the culture doesn’t necessarily appreciate the notion of rock and roll, and therefore the characters are going to get gutted for their “sins”.

“Hell’s Ground” is not an amazing movie. If you put it into context, however, you see something special. It’s a novelty horror movie at best, but one that is definitely needed in the cluster of terrible movies we’re seeing coming out today. It came out in 2007, and it holds up somewhat well. It’s a good flick to check out, whenever you’re out of movies to see. Chances are, no one in your party has seen this one, so buy it and enjoy the schlock. I give it thumbs up, and all that jazz.

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6 Houses in Horror That Scared Audiences To Death

I make fun of the idea all the time. Or rather, I tell my girlfriend (more like ask) that we’re moving into the Amityville House. It was most recently on sale, and you know your pal Sir Jorge talked to a real estate agent. Not only do I not qualify, I have the worst credit you’ve ever seen. Divorces will do that to you.

Regardless, of my efforts to move into one of the most haunted places in the world, haunted houses are a staple in the horror genre. I’ve written about scary movies, hauntings, and a lot of other topics in the past, but have not posted a list of the houses that scared audiences the most. A Haunted House movie doesn’t necessarily need to scare you, which is the traditional measuring stick. However, for this list I wanted to highlight movies in which bad things happen in a house, whether ghost or otherwise. So with that in mind, here are the houses that scared audiences, or maybe just me to death.

The Amityville Horror

For goodness sakes, get out the house! Brolin’s portrayal is great in this one and was far spookier than when Van Wilder tried to do it. His porno hair and beard was definitely a highlight for this one. Oh, it wasn’t a porno? Oh, yeah, I forgot. The 1979 release of Amityville Horror stunned audiences and is a staple for horror fans. It’s not that great looking back, but it still holds enough power to scare the average viewer. You’ll also have to remember that it’s kind of based on a true story. It’s a creepy movie, especially with the steady pace, and ultimate ending. The Lutz’s account is shocking regardless of the credibility and the movie still remains one of the better haunted house films you’re going to want to see. If you want to see it in 3-D, the franchise when there…sadly.

Poltergeist

It was 1982 and Tobe Hooper got Steven Spielberg on board to showcase a haunted house movie that is still talked about today. There is a serious creep factor in this one, and the television plays a cool roll. No, it’s not as scary as Videodrome, and of course it’s not as sexualized, but this one is definitely an instant classic. Proving that you should never build your house on ancient burial grounds, and you shouldn’t watch too much television, this scared audiences even with a PG rating. Carol Ann is a memorable role, and one that should never be remade. What? They’re remaking it? Son of a….

The Legend of Hell House

We’re going back to 1973, and this time around the movie is The Legend of Hell House. This is a cool movie with a lot of interesting moments. When I studied this film in college, and read the book that Matheson wrote with a similar name, I was convinced that this was the best haunted house movie and story ever created. Of course, it does have a bit of cheese involved in the making of this, but who cares, it’s awesome. The Belasco House is awesome, spooky, and the 1970s stylized horror moments create some serious scares. Even though some people claim it’s hokey, I think it’s awesome and you should too. Then after all is said and done, go and read the Matheson book of a similar name, because that was a classic. No, it is a classic.

1408

Stephen King has the best stories. You can criticize them all you want, but the dude continues to scare people young and old. 1408 didn’t grab me at first, and I found it boring until the whole thing was turned upside down. Right when I thought it was over, it wasn’t, and John Cusack’s acting really does a great job here. He pulls out his acting chops and isn’t lamenting the loss of a woman to the point where he turns into a big dufus. I loved the way this adaptation takes the character of Mike Enslin and turns a little more believable moments than your average horror movie character. The thoughts, ideas, and notions of an author’s struggle to write and create compelling signatures creeps me out as a writer, especially when fantasy becomes reality. There are forces at work with this one, and they work out quite well.

House of the Devil

That 1980s babysitter in peril card is played with House of the Devil. Not only that, it goes for the gusto in the third act, and finishes things off in a sweet emotional drop that you’ll swear comes from years past. Even though this is a newer entry point on this list, and it’s not a ghost story at all, it still stuns. Satanic ritual, creepy houses, and hot pizza all make for a great film. Oh, there’s more to it than that? Well maybe I want some pizza, ever thought of that? A guy has to eat. Especially when no one is buying dvd’s or paying me to write this site. How about donating some cash for a slice? Pick up a dvd via the amazon links or visit my other sites and click on an ad, I’d appreciate it. I mean, come on, a slice of pizza for a dvd that you’re going to enjoy millions of times? Whatever. House of the Devil is not only a great entry into a scary house, it reminds me of the Motley Crue song that has nothing to do with the movie.

The Shining

My old professor said this was the “Mother” of all haunted house stories. If that’s the case, he definitely picked one of the strongest entry points. The Shining may not be Stephen King’s ultimate vision, but Kubrick was able to frame something so spectacular, that it became all new in many ways. The creep factor really is elevated here, and every single moment is well thought out. Kubrick has a way of making art out of horror and Jack Torrance is a daring character that goes insane. Performance heavy, lengthy, moody, and full of color, this is definitely a stunning display of art and film mixed with horror. You don’t get a lot of movies pushing the envelope like this in the horror genre.

Ok, so this is an oddly written piece. It has terrible infrastructure, and it is more about what happens in the houses than about the houses themselves. But then again, maybe it’s on point. These movies are examples of scary things going on in scary houses.

6 Revenge Movies You Have To See Again

Revenge. It’s best served cold. I’ve always wanted revenge, especially for certain times in my life that I was completely screwed over. However, I allow vengeance to go by without incident, but that’s not what happens in the movies. When you start to look at cinema, you will find that there are a lot of movies that have one thing in mind, revenge.

In my question to see every single movie possible, I have turned my attention to the notion of getting revenge. It may not be a complete genre, but it’s definitely one of the many branches that connects horror movie and scary film aficionados alike. All my lists are a matter of opinion and if you have a differing one, then by all means voice it. If you have such a strong opinion that you absolutely have to let me have it, then write it out in word, and send it to me. I’ll post it. I don’t mind getting hit hard with a differing opinion, just make sure it’s somewhat good.

The best revenge movies are hard to quantify into a simple list, so instead of trying to make a comprehensive option, here are 5 of the best that I could think of off the top of my head. They run through the horror, science fiction, and thriller categories, so don’t throw stones, and see where your favorite lands on my list.

Scream 4

I can already hear the groans and bemoans from fans. However, go back and watch this one. You’ll find that the revenge plot that is sewn up throughout the first 3 movies gets stabbed in the back in this one. Our dear friend Sidney Prescott (the namesake for my cat), is back after ten years. She goes back to her home town for a book signing and all hell breaks loose. The ultimate revenge may not be as cold blooded as the 1970s torture films, but it’s powerful enough to get you involved. I for one loved it, but only after I saw it twice. Perhaps you need to watch it again, and see Sidney take on a new foe in this nice tie up from Wes Craven.

Irreversible

This French thrill ride is one of the best movies in the category. The revenge for a sexual assault is insanity. Showcased backwards, this movie made a lot of people cringe because of the sexual situation inside a tunnel where the camera doesn’t flinch or turn away. It feels real, it makes your heart pound, and the real married couple did one hell of a job “faking” the most brutal sexual assault on camera. There is no clapping here, so don’t get me wrong. The director, Gaspar Noe filmed the revenge sequence in a way to make theater goers sick and disoriented. It doesn’t work that well on dvd, but it is still a heavy movie to watch.

Old Boy

Chan-wook Park blew me away when I first got a shot at seeing this. With several twists and turns, the movie that seemed like it was on rails, fell apart in the third act. A visual display of sick and twisted iconography, the film flows with a certain poetry that Spike Lee can’t possibly top. It’s a hard hitting example of how you can make cinema that hurts your senses, and causes you to think, “what if” more than it should. It’s hard to top Old Boy, so go watch it. If not for the story, than for the incredible fight choreography that happens in the movie.

Death Proof

Quentin Tarantino sure knows how to pay tribute to everything that made the 1970s cool. Sex, violence, revenge, and fast cars. The way the camera moves here, the dialogue, the framing of feet, breasts, lips, and everything that can be sexualized is done with such a swift manner. It’s that type of tight framing that makes Death Proof one of the better revenge flicks you’re going to want to see again. Kurt Russell is badass in this role, and he creates havoc with that stunt car of his. The ending is a bit odd to some, but it’s that iconic 1970s low budget schlock that made guys like Sid Haig famous.

The Punisher

Tom Jane created an iconic caricature in his portrayal of The Punisher. The movie was exactly what you’d expect from a revenge flick, and it was done right. Even though I think the modern day Ennis run made the character look more like Scott Hall. This brutal take on it may get lukewarm reviews, but it had enough gusto to get on my list. Jane loved the character so much he even did a short called “Dirty Laundry”. Easily one of my favorite Marvel Superheroes, The Punisher is no one you want to mess with.

Nightmare on Elm Street

The time is now for the ultimate revenge horror movie you need to throw into your blu ray player one more time, and that’s A Nightmare on Elm Street. You burned the guy alive, and now he’s coming back and he’s not taking any prisoners. As the series kept moving forward it got more comedic, but the roots of the story was about a pedophile that got his revenge after the community burned the guy. Sick huh? Watch it again for the first time and see how Wes Craven came into an iconic series and made Robert Englund filthy rich.

What about your picks? Get on a computer and leave me a comment, buy a movie via the links, subscribe to the feed, and tell a friend, tell your mom, whatever. Jervaise where you at?

What do you mean I missed some?

Django Unchained, I Spit on Your Grave, Serbian Film, Run Bitch Run, Last House on The Left, Deathwish and so many others are easily going to fit here, but this is my blog so I picked some to talk about today. You pick your own and then link me, I’ll comment. Until next time, go watch some movies.

Black Sheep Review

Black Sheep is a movie that came out to a lot fanfare. In fact, I saw a lot of ads in horror publications small and large. I didn’t get around to watching it, until recently, which means that I’m far behind on my movie reviews. This came out in 2006, and it really is the best thing to come out of New Zealand since the last time I remember writing about a movie like this. I honestly, don’t remember.

The movie revolves around what you may think, killer sheep! That’s right, move over “Silence of the Lambs” here comes something that trumps you in a very annoying way. The movie is a classic tale of a young man that leaves his home for the big city, only to return to the farm and find out that something seriously wrong has occurred. In this time, Henry (main character) returns to a farm that he thought he would never come back. While he was gone his brother has been working on creating a Frankenstein of sorts, and it has gone all wrong.

Take the insanity of “Planet Terror” mix in sheep, and then throw a little Jaws in 3-D and you have a mix of movies and genres that completely obliterate your senses with pure terror. Black Sheep does a good job of punching you in the nuts, or ovaries, and doesn’t let go. It’s a fast moving horror film that doesn’t make sense, but most certainly combines shock value with incredibly stupid scenarios. Common sense gets completely trampled like a father getting a toy for his kid during a black Friday rush….I’m reaching here, my apologies.

All the classic foils that you would expect in horror are here, only done to a comedic level. From fart jokes, to insane zombie moments, you get everything you could want from a cheeseball horror movie and a little bit of levity to throw you off. By the time you realize that there is hope, something goes wrong yet again and you have our heroes fighting to save their dog, save the farm, and stop an onslaught of sheep.

Mary may have had a little lamb, but she didn’t expect this! I think the cheese has melted into my psyche by this point in the review. Overall Black Sheep is an insane movie, one with some slow moments, but it is ok, the frenetic pacing in the third act and the giant explosions that ensue from the same gag that “Beavis and Butthead Do America” had, is well worth your time. I liked it, it’s not my favorite, but it’s better than most foreign movies that I’ve seen in recent months. So check this out and see what the hype is about. It very well may be the best movie with Sheep in the title, that is not a porno.



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Curse of Chucky Review

When they announced a new Chucky movie, I was definitely excited. Then I heard it got thrown into a nightmare world of movies. The ones that don’t end up getting a lot of fanfare at the theaters, and end up on dvd and streaming. I didn’t catch this on a streaming account, because I do not subscribe to the internet options. Instead, I had to wait for the real thing to arrive and I have to admit it caught me by surprise. This somewhat linear sequel jumps across a lot of the plots you’ve heard before, but lands somewhere in the lore of the world of Child’s Play. Remember, the original movie was NOT called Chucky, but rather a Christmas tale about a killer and a doll. Curse of Chucky pushes a lot of buttons, but may not be the excellent option that you remember.

In this movie you will find that a young woman and her mother are stalked by a killer doll. That doll is an updated version of our favorite friend, and I’m not a fan. The over polished look and feel was not great, but the movie does a good job in revealing why, but I won’t say more to that effect. Aside from that, the movie has our little buddy sounding a lot like Brad Dourif, because he’s in it! The movie moves forward with your traditional plot of murdering family members in a house, and you aren’t sure why.

By the third act you are revealed another backstory, and one that kind of makes sense. The buildup is tense, and right when you think this one is going to be over, it kicks off into overdrive. A woman in a wheelchair becomes our hero, and she is badass, until taking one hell of a spill, in which the doll we thought was real, isn’t real at all. Curse of Chucky plays with the emotions of longtime fans, and then drops them into a cornfield, and drives away. That may not make a lot of sense, because that’s how I feel about the movie. It tries too hard to make something new, when I already have 5 movies of remembering the characters.

Perhaps the best thing about the movie, and subsequently the worst thing about the movie is the ending that ties things together past, present, and future into a new world. One where the last movie is made insignificant, but then again, so what? Right?

Curse of Chucky is a far cry from the original Childs Play, but it’s not half bad. There are some logical moments, and a lesbian subplot that I swore needed boobs, but other than that, this isn’t half bad. I found it tense, and in the tradition of the original series, but with a new twist. I didn’t like the ending, nor did I really know where it was going, but overall, it’s a fun entry. One that I would probably see again, just not necessarily soon. Check it out, it’s kind of cool to see our little friend back in action.



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Horror With New Eyes

It was Saturday March 29, 2008 in the early morning that I first came up with the website Scary Film Review. That was after a few months of me writing a blog called The Mexican Dvd Review. I ran that thing for around 8 months before shutting it down to work on something else. I first wanted to do a site called “Sir Jorge’s Macabre DVD” and that didn’t last long.

After throwing around some ideas, I finally got a circuit of free time and decided to go with the name Scary Film Review. It started modestly out of an apartment in Seattle’s lower Queen Anne district. I was living next door to Pesos, a popular Mexican food joint. I recall some good times and some bad times there, nothing that I want to really elaborate on, but I would rent a lot of horror movies from Blockbuster. At the time I had Blockbuster’s rival for Netflix and it had unlimited exchanges for rentals inside the store. So in a week’s time, I could watch roughly 18 horror movies a week. I took full advantage since we didn’t have cable television for a minute. We eventually got cable, and it was a point of contention for a long time.

The site progressed and it went through a lot of changes, ups and downs and eventually became the powerhouse that you’re reading today. I went through a lot of stages, and talked to a lot of people about horror movies, what I liked and disliked, and just found myself using it as an excuse to try and make some money with something that I love.

The times change, and well, I’ve changed a lot too. I see things a bit differently, and celebrate a lot more ideology than previously admitted. I’m not religious, not married, and no longer a stranger in Seattle. I’m now a 30 year old stuck in Southern California, or not stuck, but rather new to the area that I’m in. I still feel isolated, with no family, no friends, and just a few cats and my girlfriend. That’s not a bad thing, but it’s definitely far from the vision that I had for myself.

Scary Film is a website dedicated to all things horror and will continue to be such. However, I have new eyes. I’m older, I am amidst graduate school, and I am finding things out about myself that I never thought of before. I see this site as a work of great labor, and since March 2008, have done something grand. This site lasted longer than my marriage did, and I’m trying hard to keep it alive and well.

I could use help.

If you can buy a dvd, bookmark the amazon links, or donate, do so. This is part of my income stream and I do not have a 9 to 5 job. If you like horror movies and want me to continue, than please, subscribe, comment, and join me on Facebook and what not. I’m returning to a whole new set of movies that you may have seen me talk about in the past, but with new eyes, as I feel far different than I did in 2008.

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Anna Scream Queen Killer Review

Chemical Burn Entertainment has been sending me a lot of stuff and I am a terrible person, because I keep forgetting to review their stuff. But that is all changing because I’m now starting to watch things and the first one is this one, Anna: Scream Queen Killer. This release had a lot of upside at first glance with a lot of cool things to consider. The synopsis was interesting, the cover art is good, and then what you get is something that you may not expect.

The movie is essentially one woman’s tour de force performance about being a scream queen in the world of horror. It starts with her auditioning for a part and going through a lot of the motions that many actresses probably deal with. As the movie progresses however, she is asked to do more and more extreme things until things get really bad. The more she goes into the audition, the more sinister things become and the more she ends up doing against her will.

After while she starts to get asked to do insane things, bloody things and well she is trapped, kidnapped, raped and tortured. As the movie progresses, she has to fight back and eventually things start looking better.

The synopsis aside, this is not a great film. It’s a boring romp that takes a lot of will power to watch all the way through. It is a very low budget affair, and it features a lot of dialogue with one person and a camera. It’s very much a POV type of role that is not too entertaining at all. I found that the star, Melanie Denholme has done a good job here but it lacks progression, cinematography and compelling plot points and separations. It’s a good idea, but it’s not executed well. I didn’t really like it, and don’t know a lot of people that will love this film. However, that is not to say that you should try, give it a shot if you love horror, as Chemical Burn is trying hard to unleash the best and sometimes worst in horror movies and independent film. They are doing more than I am, that’s for sure. That is worth commending. Melanie Denholme makes this movie watchable, but it’s not easy. I wouldn’t mind meeting her, and discussing things, but alas, I’m a blogger that has no real power.

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4 Movies To Watch After The Collection

I reviewed The Collection here, and it sparked an interesting thought process for me, one that I am going to expound upon here. The movie is very much in the same profile as many others that have come out in the past. For those that are looking for horror movies similar to The Collection, here are 5 films that you want to take a look at, as they may impress you more. At the very least, you will enjoy the stories, as they are similar in tone.

Cube – Strangers found in a strange locale is not new to the horror genre, but when you go with a minimal budget and throw in the idea of a maze that is very much isolated to a structure that is geometrically shaped, you have a movie that hits you like a punch to the jejunum. It isolates the fear and suspense in a minimalist way, without relying on parlor tricks to get you to squeal. By the time the main character figures out just what is going on, it’s just the beginning. This one stands up amongst similar movies in this genre.

Hostel – A party turned into a disaster? Well, no movie does it quite as well as Eli Roth’s follow up to “Cabin Fever”. I hate the term notion of “torture porn” as I do not feel that it’s worthy of the use of either term. I found it to be very much a scary pitch into what many students experience on a regular basis. Just as Amanda Knox whether or not this gives her nightmares. Sometimes fiction and reality come crashing in a deluge of emotion, and this is one that can do a lot of damage to you if you’re afraid of traveling abroad.

House of 1,000 Corpses – When Rob Zombie decided to make a horror movie that would showcase his love for the genre, few people imagined he would go the route that he did. Some called it a clone, I call it a tribute, as it certainly had elements of many of my favorites. An up and coming Chris Hardwick and Rainn Wilson are two of the main actors in this movie, and it really is like The Collection in tone, if not more isolated gore and nudity. There are a lot of layers here, so pay close attention to the tributes.

Saw – The mother of the genre, in many people’s minds, still holds up today. It does so in a way that most people still want to call “porn” but I don’t feel that way. When I first saw it, it blew me away. It still holds up because of the way it’s all played out. It is very subtle in the way it approaches the subject matter, and then uses brutality as a way of redemption. It works. The sequels don’t, but the original does quite well overall.

These 4 movies are similar in tone to The Collection, but overall they stand on their own for a variety of reasons. If you’re a horror movie fan, you’ve probably already seen the aforementioned so this exercise in repetition will not necessarily be something out of the ordinary. If you haven’t picked up these movies, purchase them today and see how they measure up to the latter.

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The Collection Review

Last night I was feeling great, I had taken a shake in for a try. It had hemp in it, and I made my classic “I’m getting high” joke. For those that aren’t familiar with hemp, it’s a derivative of marijuana, but has no thc. It does however have a high protein content, and is gluten free, soy free, and safe for those that have hypothyroidism. I don’t have it, but I like making hemp jokes, even if I am the only one that finds them funny at this juncture. After said shake, I decided to watch The Collection. I’ve been putting off watching a lot of horror movies because I have been depressed for some time, and it’s just been difficult overall. I’m feeling a tad bit better, so today, we will explore this film.

Another Saw Clone?

The Collection is in the same line as the movie that came out in 2009 called The Collector. I reviewed that movie, to no fanfare on August 10, 2009. That was when I was still living in Seattle, Washington and working for Snowboard Connection. I sometimes wish I still worked for them, I loved the action sports industry, but alas, here I am watching and writing this review.

This movie turns up the ultra-violence fast. It has possibly one of the most gore-filled scenes in movie history, and even though it’s all computer graphics, it still hits hard. The idea of a mass slaughter is not a good concept to me, but it’s effective in presenting how villainous the main character is. Once again, I have a hard time deciding who’s really to praise here, as we see a great deal of dichotomies formed from the start.

Following the plot is simple, we have our same victim from the first film, being rescued, but commissioned to return to the hell house to try and save a girl. We get a sliver of a back story and then we are thrust into a film that is very much like “Saw”. If you like a lot of gore, traps, and mazes, here is another great one. Although, the main character is not like Jigsaw in any way. He’s instead a masked villain that never shows his face.

A Different Movie At The End

In the final act, this movie really took on a whole new life. The visuals were very much like a Stallone movie from the 1980s. As the camera panned on our pseudo-hero, he looked very much like Sly with biceps bulging, and sweat dripping off of him in an inferno that he surely would die from. I just about had it with the movie at this point and was going to walk away unsatisfied with the whole thing, and then something grand happened.

I won’t spoil the ending, but holy crap, the last 10 minutes or so impressed the hell out of me. Visually, this portion is a masterpiece. The way it’s shot, the noises, the plot twist, and the way everything just became an art film, was just impressive. It is a payoff that I didn’t see coming, even though the credits ruined the whole thing. Classic slasher twists and turns, with a gore edge, which is worth a look. Is it my favorite? No. However, there’s enough here to get jaded horror movie fans to at least pay attention, and the film makers did a good job recreating the elements that made the first film worthwhile for me at the time. Check out The Collection on blu ray or dvd by clicking here.

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Bride of Chucky Review

I recall seeing this movie and the sequel in theaters a while ago, but I never sat down to review it, and therefore I am going to talk about it a bit. Today we will be dealing with the movie that brought back the doll of horror known as Chucky into the big screens and away from straight to dvd hell like so many others had to deal with. Bride of Chucky puts our little antihero in an interesting and sadistic realm with all the trimmings that you would expect from the classic horror franchise that started in the late 1980s. Gone are the slow moving plot points and lackluster scenarios and in comes a fast paced, black comedic horror film.

The movie looks great, and holds up quite well in the visuals department. Jennifer Tilly is quite the actress, and I couldn’t stop staring at her…..eyes. She has some assets that gets played up a lot here, and there are moments where some of you are just begging for a nip slip. But unlike the celebrity tabloids, the puppies are all covered up, even though they are bursting from her wardrobe at times. The cleavage is so much that one starts to wonder whether or not it ends up being a factor when she is playing poker in the World Series, but then again, it’s a matter of skill and not necessarily luck, right? I don’t know, I’m getting off topic.

The kills are brutal, but at times played up for comedic effect as Chucky is brought back by a former love. Chuck doesn’t like how he’s being treated so he kills his lover in a bathtub and gets her soul to get trapped in a doll and the two run amuck on a quest to find the original body of the soul so that they can get an amulet. This all moves along a road trip plot with two lovers that are the next serial murderers to gain fame for being a deadly couple.

Overall, Bride of Chucky is a guilty pleasure that is not really scary, but really does drum up some nostalgia here and there. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and does a lot to entertain, make fun, and present the whole series as one big joke. I like it, and found the inside jokes to be awesome, and the ending, well the ending is just another classic moment in horror history.

John Dies At The End Review

There are a lot of horror movies that come out on a regular basis and no one sees them. This is one of those many releases that no one cared to see in theaters, but alas the world of dvd and streaming can be glad to have another movie to watch and review. I myself finally caught this one, and after I wrote about the release of David Wong’s other book and of course this book as well, it’s about time. Clumsy sentences and bad reviews aside, I found myself watching this one in wonder, as it is truly an original take on a not so original genre, the horror one that is. John Dies at the End is the focus of this review, although I’m a bit tired from making less than minimum wage, applying at jobs that don’t call me back, and wondering where my life started to tailspin in terms of getting ahead in a career path. Heck, I have no career, who am I fooling?

The film is a complex and winding tale about a couple of friends that have found a drug that makes things come to life in a way that Hunter S. Thompson would be proud of. The whole movie weaves around a guy telling a reporter about what has happened to him in the past, and how he came in contact with this insane drug known simply as soy sauce. It is killing off anyone that comes in contact with it, but not before extreme hallucinations and other off setting problems happen.

Throughout the film gags of all types happen and you get to see a great deal of gore as well. In an effort to hasten the pace, you get a lot of intertwining elements, none of which seem to make sense and the whole pay off does a poor job with revealing what the hell is going on. I had more questions about the plot and where it was going than I usually do, and by the time things started to make a little sense, a giant eyeball was eating people. John Dies at The End is definitely a movie worth watching, however, it is not worth asking any questions because you will receive no major answers.

When it comes to finding original horror movies, this is definitely a good one, so make sure that you venture out and watch it, then try to figure out what is going on. The ending will come out of nowhere with an epilogue that is fitting, all things considered.