Friday, December 11, 2009

Santa Claws Review

Holiday Horror 2009

Santa Claws

We’re back yet again folks, another movie to satiate your hunger for Christmas themed scary films. We keep bringing to you what we believe are going to be interesting films, and while the reviews suck, it will at least give you an idea of what’s out there in regards to holiday horror films. This film from 1996 is an interesting piece of b-movie history, and while it looks like a porno, it has a bigger budget and a sense of etiquette that makes it a bit more interesting than the latter. For your approval, I submit the following holiday horror movie, Santa Claws.

Santa Claws opens up with a weird sex scene. It’s an older, fat man, with a younger pornstar looking actress. They are interrupted by a kid who decides to shoot them, for what appears to be no apparent reason; we are then shifted to the present, and we see some strange things. We see a news camera interviewing a smut producer about his horror and nudity magazine, and it’s not half bad. The rest of the film moves forward in an odd way, and we’re introduced to some random guy ho has just purchased a bust of his favorite actress. But the editing gets muddled and we move onto another piece of the puzzle.

This movie is b-level, even c-level at times, even though it is filmed on actual “film”. It doesn’t feel to be straight to dvd in the traditional sense, but it’s definitely not something that you’re going to rent for high production value. This film really is a terrible quality film. However, the story seems to put you in the proper order regarding holiday horrors. Holiday horror aside, this movie holds no merit outside of the small sub-genre.

The film boils down to an obsessed fan who is allowed to get really close to a b-movie actress. As he gets closer to her, he goes further and further insane and eventually the body count starts rising. Yep, that’s the basic outline of this film, and that’s about it. Oh and don't let the title fool you, it's not really about a killer too bad.

Santa Claws is probably the weakest of the films so far to this point. It’s not too far in the month, and I’ve got some nice surprises in store, but overall this film sucks. The only draw outside of the genre is that Canadian B-film actress Debbie Rachon is the main star. She looks a lot better than the film she’s in, but she’s been in a lot of b-movie films so I’m sure she enjoys it.

Some have stated that this film has an undertone to reality, as the main character talks about obsessive fans. But overall, I don’t really see that. This film feels, and I don’t mean this in a bad way, like a porno film. It just feels like there are going to be full sex scenes here, and when there aren’t you’re kind of disappointed.

I don’t recommend Santa Claws for any other time than the holidays. This is a piece of junk film, that really should never be on dvd, it should be on vhs. This is the kind of thing that makes a cult classic, but in today’s saturated horror market, it just doesn’t hold much weight. It’s not a scary film, it’s not really a good film, but it has some good laughs, gratuitous nudity and some nice gore effects to hold you over until the new year.

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A writer first, cat lover second, and some other stuff too. Human, with lots of faults, and terrible communication.
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