Terrifier Review

Often times movies are slow moving engagements. That is true for modern horror, and a lot of the time I’m flabbergasted by what audiences will sit through to get a little thrill. When I saw the poster for this film, I wasn’t expecting a lot. I figured it would be a slasher, and well we all know that the mother of killer clown movies either comes from outer space or “IT”, but this was different, it felt different, and it started off innocent enough, and just derailed fast.

The premise is simple enough, a killer clown is hunting down individuals, and no matter what they do, he keeps coming back. A slasher of 1980s lore is what you get here, and not much else to really explain. Sure, there are moments where the story takes you to care about the characters slightly, as they have some peril outside of the killer clown, but it’s short lived. This is a straight forward slasher and it is fast moving. There is not a lot of room for filler in this one, and that’s something that I appreciated about it. It's a movie that knows what the audience wants, and knocks you in the teeth within the first act.

The expected horror movie tropes live in with this one, including the final girl, albeit not without putting up one hell of a fight. You get the unstoppable villain, and you’re drenched in gore and blood as well. There’s nothing too complex about the movie, and it really draws you in with a powerful performance from David Howard Thornton as Art The Clown.

Terrifier isn’t brain candy, but it is a good slasher with an easy premise, and something that will have you thrilled and shocked at times. This is horror sliced up the way you expect from the 1980s and 1990s to boot, not “modern” day slow moving genre art. That’s just my two cents, you should pick up the blu ray
and make up  your mind on it, but I recommend it, so there’s that.

Cockneys vs Zombies Review

Not another zombie movie, I thought to myself when my girlfriend decided to play this the other night. I’m a jaded horror movie fan, and it’s been a while since anything has caught my eye. Then the movie progressed, and I was hooked. Cockneys vs Zombies is not your traditional zombie movie, although there are a few things that you will definitely catch in the same light that you will from other movies. I found the beginning to be somewhat ok, but it’s the sum of the parts that really bring this movie to the top of my list of zombie creations in the recent years.

Some construction workers unearth a seal that brings about an outbreak in the East London area, and things really go south from there. Meanwhile, a group of young adults hatch a plan to rob a bank and save their grandparents from uncertain doom that will befall them when their retirement home closes down. That’s when we are introduced to Ray, the former gangster and one of the most badass characters ever concocted in zombie movie lore. Ray is awesome and I hope to be as badass as that character when I am an old dude. Sadly, I’ll probably be a stain on the underwear of old dudes, rather than some badass granddad. Heck, I don’t even have children.

The movie goes back and forth between the robbery, the group of friends, and the retirement home. Equal parts “Shaun of the Dead” and “Day of the Dead” this movie picks up fast, and doesn’t let you go. There’s some light hearted moments, and there are some harsh moments. The gore is amped up, the sequences are suspenseful, and there’s plenty of zombie madness to enjoy throughout this British horror film.

I found the movie to be entertaining, fast flowing, and definitely worth your time. I didn’t think it was the best production, but the characters were enough to hook me, especially the character of Ray and his old friends. I loved the nuances found between hardcore gore and CG effects which were done really well at times. For this being a lower budget film, it really did take on the best of the mainstream, and I enjoyed it greatly.

I highly recommend Cockneys vs Zombies, as it is a fun romp. It’s comedic at times, it’s predictable at others, and it is just overall an entertaining horror comedy. I can’t say enough about it. It’s the first movie I’ve seen in a while that really grabbed me, and that’s a great thing. Pick up the movie by going to amazon here, or whatever it is you do to see movies. I don’t know.

Event Horizon Review

Buy the blu ray here

Event Horizon is one of those movies that gets idly passed by at the video stores and through collections as another science fiction romp, but it’s more than that. It reaches to the heart of what horror is and delivers a good narrative, with good acting, and some nice touches here and there to separate itself from the schlock that came out in the late 1990s. In fact, this movie stars Laurence Fishburne and Sam Neill, two icons of cinema in my view, and definitely do their part well. Directed by Paul Anderson, this is one movie you have to go back and watch again, with the lights on preferably.

The movie centers around a space ship (surprise surprise) headed into the deep recesses of space, and testing a new technology to somehow understand black holes and even control them. It’s there that something goes wrong, and the ship gets taken into a wormhole and that’s that. In the future, the ship returns and it’s up to a rag tag crew to figure out what’s going on, and perhaps try to tell the tale of loss. In the middle of all of this however, something deeply disturbing takes place, each character has to face their fear, their worst fears as it flashes before them and they get pummeled throughout.

At times, this one reminded me of the original puzzle horror film “Cube”, but it’s more than that. It has a lot of little twists and turns, with some serious suspense. The science may be a bit flimsy, but that doesn’t matter because the scenery here is isolated, scary, and filled with horror. You get a bit of gore, a bit of scares, but more importantly, a character study in space.

It is not on par with some other movies, as there are some slow spots, and the concept can be easily lost as it turns out to be a fragile component to the turning of the screws in the film. It’s not bad, by any means, as there are some great highlights, and the acting is so strong that you can overlook some of the minor misses here and there.

As a horror movie Event Horizon stands tall, but as an instant classic, or compared to others, it’s not that grand. It’s easily forgettable, and it has been, until you rewatch it and find something new. That’s why I recommend picking up this film and watching it again, it’s been a while, no doubt. It has an easy flow, horror themes, science fiction notes here and there, and of course better acting than 90% of the teen scream movies from the era.

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The Purge Review

The premise that was brought with The Purge was incredible. The marketing and the ideas at first were insane, and showed a lot of footage of humanity being as awful as Raas Al Ghul said it was in Batman Begins. The idea of this movie is that all crime is legal for one full 12 hour period. That’s right, all is fair, including killing, stealing, and jaywalking. With that in mind, Rod Serling most likely was spinning in his grave, as this feels a lot like the twists and turns that would make The Twilight Zone a spectacular showcase of fear.

In fact, the whole marketing campaign felt like a lead in for one of the classic episodes from that show. If you recall them, they were all about how the suspension of crime would be handled. I didn't get to see it in theaters, but my sister did and she thought it was cool at first. She told me the ending sucked, but I didn't want to believe, and well, unfortunately, she was right for once. Just so you know, she's never right!

The Purge Starts Well Enough, But Falls Off A Cliff In The End

The start of this movie is classic, with an obvious twist that is coming and is revealed in the second act. It’s also there that we are introduced to a dilemma. A stranger shows up and then all hell breaks loose. Within the first and second act, death comes to an otherwise secure stronghold, as a security system salesman and his family are targeted for being nice to a homeless man.

This movie really starts to go off the rails in the third act, where the terrorizing group jumps and breaks through the secured home and starts to seriously cause havoc. You think everything has gone to hell and there is no hope, as each person is systematically picked off by the father (Ethan Hawke). The movie feels harder than any other movie I’ve seen in a long time. There are some dimwitted moments, but not before a lot of revenge happens. I’m sure gun nuts will love this, as it has self-defense written all over it.

The Purge is a good enough movie, through the first few acts. Then it starts to falter, and eventually comes to a halt with a twist ending that you see coming a mile away. I didn’t care for how it turned out, and really didn’t like the way it all gets sewn up in a way that a sequel is all but ready. It’s not a great movie, it has its faults, but I will say that this is not a soft movie. It’s hard, and it blows away the pg-13 crap that has been floating around the genre for some time.

I loved the premise, and I liked the way it began, but I can’t seem to find greatness in the ending. I didn’t like it, but I still think this is a strong horror, revenge flick. It reminds me of the Kevin Bacon movie where he gets revenge for the murder of his son. Perhaps The Purge on Blu Ray features better supplemental footage. Check that out and see if it’s worth your time.



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Invasion of The Body Snatchers Review

The year was 1956, and before most of my constituents were born a movie was unleashed on the general public that would serve as a propaganda piece and illustration for communism, religious takeovers, and just about anything you wanted to portray as a dichotomy. Invasion of the Body Snatchers has some of the coolest posters in promotion of the film and has been remade time and time again. It’s one of the classics of horror, and it’s perhaps one that hasn’t aged very well at all. You know things are bad when you remember watching the movie in high school during History 101.

This edition of the film was directed by Don Siegel and it has some gripping moments. Kevin McCarthy and Dana Wynter do a fine job in Superscope here, but the pacing is just awful. It’s definitely not meant for our modern minds, or perhaps we’ve been replaced?

The plot is familiar to those that like horror and it is all about a community that has found that something has gone severely wrong with their loved ones. While investigate, a doctor takes note that something is in fact going on, and like a twist out of the Twilight Zone uncovers the fact that everyone is being replaced by creatures from another dimension. Pods are found and escape is futile.

The monsters are interesting on both sides of the coin here. The family members that are scared and the pod people as well. The pods are definitely a soap box of sorts, pushing the ideas and boundaries into political arenas but I like to think of this as nothing more than a science fiction classic.

Yes, it’s classic, and far from scary, but it’s an example or even a holding place for cinema of the past. We have come a long way, and despite my gripes with the pacing and the fact that it’s used as an educational tool in History/Humanities classes, it still holds up on the premise that you may never truly know that special someone in your life. Invasion of the Body Snatchers is not going to be watched over and over again in my house, and if it is, I know the aliens have taken over. Lord knows that the idiots have already taken over, but that’s another story for another time. I’m not sure what else to say, this is classic, this is a review, and this is me trying to keep the pirate ship afloat, so buy something already. Until next time, I’m going to write about kung fu on another site.



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Black Sheep Review

Black Sheep is a movie that came out to a lot fanfare. In fact, I saw a lot of ads in horror publications small and large. I didn’t get around to watching it, until recently, which means that I’m far behind on my movie reviews. This came out in 2006, and it really is the best thing to come out of New Zealand since the last time I remember writing about a movie like this. I honestly, don’t remember.

The movie revolves around what you may think, killer sheep! That’s right, move over “Silence of the Lambs” here comes something that trumps you in a very annoying way. The movie is a classic tale of a young man that leaves his home for the big city, only to return to the farm and find out that something seriously wrong has occurred. In this time, Henry (main character) returns to a farm that he thought he would never come back. While he was gone his brother has been working on creating a Frankenstein of sorts, and it has gone all wrong.

Take the insanity of “Planet Terror” mix in sheep, and then throw a little Jaws in 3-D and you have a mix of movies and genres that completely obliterate your senses with pure terror. Black Sheep does a good job of punching you in the nuts, or ovaries, and doesn’t let go. It’s a fast moving horror film that doesn’t make sense, but most certainly combines shock value with incredibly stupid scenarios. Common sense gets completely trampled like a father getting a toy for his kid during a black Friday rush….I’m reaching here, my apologies.

All the classic foils that you would expect in horror are here, only done to a comedic level. From fart jokes, to insane zombie moments, you get everything you could want from a cheeseball horror movie and a little bit of levity to throw you off. By the time you realize that there is hope, something goes wrong yet again and you have our heroes fighting to save their dog, save the farm, and stop an onslaught of sheep.

Mary may have had a little lamb, but she didn’t expect this! I think the cheese has melted into my psyche by this point in the review. Overall Black Sheep is an insane movie, one with some slow moments, but it is ok, the frenetic pacing in the third act and the giant explosions that ensue from the same gag that “Beavis and Butthead Do America” had, is well worth your time. I liked it, it’s not my favorite, but it’s better than most foreign movies that I’ve seen in recent months. So check this out and see what the hype is about. It very well may be the best movie with Sheep in the title, that is not a porno.



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Curse of Chucky Review

When they announced a new Chucky movie, I was definitely excited. Then I heard it got thrown into a nightmare world of movies. The ones that don’t end up getting a lot of fanfare at the theaters, and end up on dvd and streaming. I didn’t catch this on a streaming account, because I do not subscribe to the internet options. Instead, I had to wait for the real thing to arrive and I have to admit it caught me by surprise. This somewhat linear sequel jumps across a lot of the plots you’ve heard before, but lands somewhere in the lore of the world of Child’s Play. Remember, the original movie was NOT called Chucky, but rather a Christmas tale about a killer and a doll. Curse of Chucky pushes a lot of buttons, but may not be the excellent option that you remember.

In this movie you will find that a young woman and her mother are stalked by a killer doll. That doll is an updated version of our favorite friend, and I’m not a fan. The over polished look and feel was not great, but the movie does a good job in revealing why, but I won’t say more to that effect. Aside from that, the movie has our little buddy sounding a lot like Brad Dourif, because he’s in it! The movie moves forward with your traditional plot of murdering family members in a house, and you aren’t sure why.

By the third act you are revealed another backstory, and one that kind of makes sense. The buildup is tense, and right when you think this one is going to be over, it kicks off into overdrive. A woman in a wheelchair becomes our hero, and she is badass, until taking one hell of a spill, in which the doll we thought was real, isn’t real at all. Curse of Chucky plays with the emotions of longtime fans, and then drops them into a cornfield, and drives away. That may not make a lot of sense, because that’s how I feel about the movie. It tries too hard to make something new, when I already have 5 movies of remembering the characters.

Perhaps the best thing about the movie, and subsequently the worst thing about the movie is the ending that ties things together past, present, and future into a new world. One where the last movie is made insignificant, but then again, so what? Right?

Curse of Chucky is a far cry from the original Childs Play, but it’s not half bad. There are some logical moments, and a lesbian subplot that I swore needed boobs, but other than that, this isn’t half bad. I found it tense, and in the tradition of the original series, but with a new twist. I didn’t like the ending, nor did I really know where it was going, but overall, it’s a fun entry. One that I would probably see again, just not necessarily soon. Check it out, it’s kind of cool to see our little friend back in action.



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Horror With New Eyes

It was Saturday March 29, 2008 in the early morning that I first came up with the website Scary Film Review. That was after a few months of me writing a blog called The Mexican Dvd Review. I ran that thing for around 8 months before shutting it down to work on something else. I first wanted to do a site called “Sir Jorge’s Macabre DVD” and that didn’t last long.

After throwing around some ideas, I finally got a circuit of free time and decided to go with the name Scary Film Review. It started modestly out of an apartment in Seattle’s lower Queen Anne district. I was living next door to Pesos, a popular Mexican food joint. I recall some good times and some bad times there, nothing that I want to really elaborate on, but I would rent a lot of horror movies from Blockbuster. At the time I had Blockbuster’s rival for Netflix and it had unlimited exchanges for rentals inside the store. So in a week’s time, I could watch roughly 18 horror movies a week. I took full advantage since we didn’t have cable television for a minute. We eventually got cable, and it was a point of contention for a long time.

The site progressed and it went through a lot of changes, ups and downs and eventually became the powerhouse that you’re reading today. I went through a lot of stages, and talked to a lot of people about horror movies, what I liked and disliked, and just found myself using it as an excuse to try and make some money with something that I love.

The times change, and well, I’ve changed a lot too. I see things a bit differently, and celebrate a lot more ideology than previously admitted. I’m not religious, not married, and no longer a stranger in Seattle. I’m now a 30 year old stuck in Southern California, or not stuck, but rather new to the area that I’m in. I still feel isolated, with no family, no friends, and just a few cats and my girlfriend. That’s not a bad thing, but it’s definitely far from the vision that I had for myself.

Scary Film is a website dedicated to all things horror and will continue to be such. However, I have new eyes. I’m older, I am amidst graduate school, and I am finding things out about myself that I never thought of before. I see this site as a work of great labor, and since March 2008, have done something grand. This site lasted longer than my marriage did, and I’m trying hard to keep it alive and well.

I could use help.

If you can buy a dvd, bookmark the amazon links, or donate, do so. This is part of my income stream and I do not have a 9 to 5 job. If you like horror movies and want me to continue, than please, subscribe, comment, and join me on Facebook and what not. I’m returning to a whole new set of movies that you may have seen me talk about in the past, but with new eyes, as I feel far different than I did in 2008.

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Anna Scream Queen Killer Review

Chemical Burn Entertainment has been sending me a lot of stuff and I am a terrible person, because I keep forgetting to review their stuff. But that is all changing because I’m now starting to watch things and the first one is this one, Anna: Scream Queen Killer. This release had a lot of upside at first glance with a lot of cool things to consider. The synopsis was interesting, the cover art is good, and then what you get is something that you may not expect.

The movie is essentially one woman’s tour de force performance about being a scream queen in the world of horror. It starts with her auditioning for a part and going through a lot of the motions that many actresses probably deal with. As the movie progresses however, she is asked to do more and more extreme things until things get really bad. The more she goes into the audition, the more sinister things become and the more she ends up doing against her will.

After while she starts to get asked to do insane things, bloody things and well she is trapped, kidnapped, raped and tortured. As the movie progresses, she has to fight back and eventually things start looking better.

The synopsis aside, this is not a great film. It’s a boring romp that takes a lot of will power to watch all the way through. It is a very low budget affair, and it features a lot of dialogue with one person and a camera. It’s very much a POV type of role that is not too entertaining at all. I found that the star, Melanie Denholme has done a good job here but it lacks progression, cinematography and compelling plot points and separations. It’s a good idea, but it’s not executed well. I didn’t really like it, and don’t know a lot of people that will love this film. However, that is not to say that you should try, give it a shot if you love horror, as Chemical Burn is trying hard to unleash the best and sometimes worst in horror movies and independent film. They are doing more than I am, that’s for sure. That is worth commending. Melanie Denholme makes this movie watchable, but it’s not easy. I wouldn’t mind meeting her, and discussing things, but alas, I’m a blogger that has no real power.

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4 Movies To Watch After The Collection

I reviewed The Collection here, and it sparked an interesting thought process for me, one that I am going to expound upon here. The movie is very much in the same profile as many others that have come out in the past. For those that are looking for horror movies similar to The Collection, here are 5 films that you want to take a look at, as they may impress you more. At the very least, you will enjoy the stories, as they are similar in tone.

Cube – Strangers found in a strange locale is not new to the horror genre, but when you go with a minimal budget and throw in the idea of a maze that is very much isolated to a structure that is geometrically shaped, you have a movie that hits you like a punch to the jejunum. It isolates the fear and suspense in a minimalist way, without relying on parlor tricks to get you to squeal. By the time the main character figures out just what is going on, it’s just the beginning. This one stands up amongst similar movies in this genre.

Hostel – A party turned into a disaster? Well, no movie does it quite as well as Eli Roth’s follow up to “Cabin Fever”. I hate the term notion of “torture porn” as I do not feel that it’s worthy of the use of either term. I found it to be very much a scary pitch into what many students experience on a regular basis. Just as Amanda Knox whether or not this gives her nightmares. Sometimes fiction and reality come crashing in a deluge of emotion, and this is one that can do a lot of damage to you if you’re afraid of traveling abroad.

House of 1,000 Corpses – When Rob Zombie decided to make a horror movie that would showcase his love for the genre, few people imagined he would go the route that he did. Some called it a clone, I call it a tribute, as it certainly had elements of many of my favorites. An up and coming Chris Hardwick and Rainn Wilson are two of the main actors in this movie, and it really is like The Collection in tone, if not more isolated gore and nudity. There are a lot of layers here, so pay close attention to the tributes.

Saw – The mother of the genre, in many people’s minds, still holds up today. It does so in a way that most people still want to call “porn” but I don’t feel that way. When I first saw it, it blew me away. It still holds up because of the way it’s all played out. It is very subtle in the way it approaches the subject matter, and then uses brutality as a way of redemption. It works. The sequels don’t, but the original does quite well overall.

These 4 movies are similar in tone to The Collection, but overall they stand on their own for a variety of reasons. If you’re a horror movie fan, you’ve probably already seen the aforementioned so this exercise in repetition will not necessarily be something out of the ordinary. If you haven’t picked up these movies, purchase them today and see how they measure up to the latter.

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The Collection Review

Last night I was feeling great, I had taken a shake in for a try. It had hemp in it, and I made my classic “I’m getting high” joke. For those that aren’t familiar with hemp, it’s a derivative of marijuana, but has no thc. It does however have a high protein content, and is gluten free, soy free, and safe for those that have hypothyroidism. I don’t have it, but I like making hemp jokes, even if I am the only one that finds them funny at this juncture. After said shake, I decided to watch The Collection. I’ve been putting off watching a lot of horror movies because I have been depressed for some time, and it’s just been difficult overall. I’m feeling a tad bit better, so today, we will explore this film.

Another Saw Clone?

The Collection is in the same line as the movie that came out in 2009 called The Collector. I reviewed that movie, to no fanfare on August 10, 2009. That was when I was still living in Seattle, Washington and working for Snowboard Connection. I sometimes wish I still worked for them, I loved the action sports industry, but alas, here I am watching and writing this review.

This movie turns up the ultra-violence fast. It has possibly one of the most gore-filled scenes in movie history, and even though it’s all computer graphics, it still hits hard. The idea of a mass slaughter is not a good concept to me, but it’s effective in presenting how villainous the main character is. Once again, I have a hard time deciding who’s really to praise here, as we see a great deal of dichotomies formed from the start.

Following the plot is simple, we have our same victim from the first film, being rescued, but commissioned to return to the hell house to try and save a girl. We get a sliver of a back story and then we are thrust into a film that is very much like “Saw”. If you like a lot of gore, traps, and mazes, here is another great one. Although, the main character is not like Jigsaw in any way. He’s instead a masked villain that never shows his face.

A Different Movie At The End

In the final act, this movie really took on a whole new life. The visuals were very much like a Stallone movie from the 1980s. As the camera panned on our pseudo-hero, he looked very much like Sly with biceps bulging, and sweat dripping off of him in an inferno that he surely would die from. I just about had it with the movie at this point and was going to walk away unsatisfied with the whole thing, and then something grand happened.

I won’t spoil the ending, but holy crap, the last 10 minutes or so impressed the hell out of me. Visually, this portion is a masterpiece. The way it’s shot, the noises, the plot twist, and the way everything just became an art film, was just impressive. It is a payoff that I didn’t see coming, even though the credits ruined the whole thing. Classic slasher twists and turns, with a gore edge, which is worth a look. Is it my favorite? No. However, there’s enough here to get jaded horror movie fans to at least pay attention, and the film makers did a good job recreating the elements that made the first film worthwhile for me at the time. Check out The Collection on blu ray or dvd by clicking here.

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Bride of Chucky Review

I recall seeing this movie and the sequel in theaters a while ago, but I never sat down to review it, and therefore I am going to talk about it a bit. Today we will be dealing with the movie that brought back the doll of horror known as Chucky into the big screens and away from straight to dvd hell like so many others had to deal with. Bride of Chucky puts our little antihero in an interesting and sadistic realm with all the trimmings that you would expect from the classic horror franchise that started in the late 1980s. Gone are the slow moving plot points and lackluster scenarios and in comes a fast paced, black comedic horror film.

The movie looks great, and holds up quite well in the visuals department. Jennifer Tilly is quite the actress, and I couldn’t stop staring at her…..eyes. She has some assets that gets played up a lot here, and there are moments where some of you are just begging for a nip slip. But unlike the celebrity tabloids, the puppies are all covered up, even though they are bursting from her wardrobe at times. The cleavage is so much that one starts to wonder whether or not it ends up being a factor when she is playing poker in the World Series, but then again, it’s a matter of skill and not necessarily luck, right? I don’t know, I’m getting off topic.

The kills are brutal, but at times played up for comedic effect as Chucky is brought back by a former love. Chuck doesn’t like how he’s being treated so he kills his lover in a bathtub and gets her soul to get trapped in a doll and the two run amuck on a quest to find the original body of the soul so that they can get an amulet. This all moves along a road trip plot with two lovers that are the next serial murderers to gain fame for being a deadly couple.

Overall, Bride of Chucky is a guilty pleasure that is not really scary, but really does drum up some nostalgia here and there. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and does a lot to entertain, make fun, and present the whole series as one big joke. I like it, and found the inside jokes to be awesome, and the ending, well the ending is just another classic moment in horror history.

John Dies At The End Review

There are a lot of horror movies that come out on a regular basis and no one sees them. This is one of those many releases that no one cared to see in theaters, but alas the world of dvd and streaming can be glad to have another movie to watch and review. I myself finally caught this one, and after I wrote about the release of David Wong’s other book and of course this book as well, it’s about time. Clumsy sentences and bad reviews aside, I found myself watching this one in wonder, as it is truly an original take on a not so original genre, the horror one that is. John Dies at the End is the focus of this review, although I’m a bit tired from making less than minimum wage, applying at jobs that don’t call me back, and wondering where my life started to tailspin in terms of getting ahead in a career path. Heck, I have no career, who am I fooling?

The film is a complex and winding tale about a couple of friends that have found a drug that makes things come to life in a way that Hunter S. Thompson would be proud of. The whole movie weaves around a guy telling a reporter about what has happened to him in the past, and how he came in contact with this insane drug known simply as soy sauce. It is killing off anyone that comes in contact with it, but not before extreme hallucinations and other off setting problems happen.

Throughout the film gags of all types happen and you get to see a great deal of gore as well. In an effort to hasten the pace, you get a lot of intertwining elements, none of which seem to make sense and the whole pay off does a poor job with revealing what the hell is going on. I had more questions about the plot and where it was going than I usually do, and by the time things started to make a little sense, a giant eyeball was eating people. John Dies at The End is definitely a movie worth watching, however, it is not worth asking any questions because you will receive no major answers.

When it comes to finding original horror movies, this is definitely a good one, so make sure that you venture out and watch it, then try to figure out what is going on. The ending will come out of nowhere with an epilogue that is fitting, all things considered.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter Review

I was supposed to be working on Chemical Burn stuff, but their ROKU app decided to quit, and I haven’t had time to look into their screeners that were sent out, so I’ll have to settle for this update, or rather you will have to settle.

There are a series of novels that are essentially rewritten historical accounts of the lives of iconic people and places. This altered history happens to throw the 16th president into the role of a vampire hunter and while most people may not be so quick to say the premise works, the movie does a good job of making the basis for the novel, quite compelling to say the least. With that in mind, the following review is of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

The movie does a good job setting up the hero with the death of his mother at the hands of a vampire, than subsequently goes through some years of his training at the hands of another bloodsucker and the story starts to really move into a fast paced actioner, although it has horror elements. The movie plays more like an Asian cinema Kung Fu epic, but still maintains a certain sense of creep factor here and there. The muted and goldenrod filter on the cameras is a bit annoying, but otherwise, you get a full framework of what could have been a biopic done right. Of course the sensationalized action is something that probably never was a thing for Lincoln to deal with, but then again, his favorite sport was professional wrestling, so maybe he did see some action of this nature.

Overall the film has a good sense of humor about the whole thing, while maintaining serious tones for the slaying of vampires here and there. The slow motion is somewhat distracting and the constant computer graphics and design is not my favorite. However, the producers did a good enough job to get me to forget that and start thinking about whether or not some of the fight sequences were in fact possible. I had to remind myself that these things are NOT reality and are part of a horror-action movie, so maybe they did a good job after all.

Abraham Lincoln battled zombies before, he battled slavery, and most likely enjoyed some of Hulk Hogan’s favorite matches. (Seeing as though Hogan is sooo old, eh? Eh?) I liked this outing, even if it did have some slow motion fighting, but I liked it none the less. I thought it was interesting and it kept me awake, which is something that many other movies haven’t done in a long time. I’d suggest watching it and reading the book too.

The Jaded Horror Movie Fan

Every get jaded on horror?

The same things happen a lot, the same decisions made and we’re supposed to just dig in. I am not a fanatic, I’m just one man with opinions on the genre that I grew up with it. My parents allowed me to start watching horror when I was a child and would often times leave me at home alone and to this day I find the genre to be quite interesting. There are a lot of complexities that are pointed out within the confines of this type of cinema, but there are moments when even the best horror movie doesn’t really hit home.

I’ve been struggling to find a connection with the movies that I’ve seen in recent years, and more often than not find myself falling asleep instead of paying attention. That doesn’t bode well for readers of this site that have been with me longer than my marriage lasted. I’m in a new relationship and things are going well, and with that comes a new set of responsibilities and ideas. I have been fortunate enough to be pushed a little to watch and review horror movies that I have mustered enough of an opinion to write about in recent weeks, but things are going to change yet again.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be adding more content as I have a new found love for horror movies that transcends understanding. Instead of negativity, I’ve found some positive things to denote in a lot of the movies that I have seen recently. Heck, Sinister was a slow moving opus, but you know what? It was creative and it had some good moments. With that in mind, I will be updating the site with all new content sooner than later. Just stay with me, as I move things around and get rid of the annoying background image that messes up my phone whenever I visit my own website.

3 Scary Movies That Will Keep You Guessing

When it comes to scary movies, you probably assume cheese or at jump scares. While that is a great proponent of many classics, that is not always the case when trying to find the best of the genre. When looking for the best, you will have to look a bit below the surface, and find horrific happenings in some of the more interesting of ideas. The following list will have you second guessing the genre of horror and will get you thinking about possibly watching again, for the first time. The list contains 3 scary movies that will keep you guessing until the very end.



Audition

What’s so crazy about a man that wants to meet a woman for the purpose of dating? At first glance this film is quite tame, until you start to get a closer look at what really is going on. There are several clues sewn throughout the film that will have you guessing, but not everything is fully explained. You will even get a second guess in the end, and you will be wrapped up exactly where Takashi Miike wants you to be. This film is one of the creepier movies you will find. There are moments of brutal terror that relies heavily on only the sound design, which is something you will not necessarily understand the first time you see it.



Frailty

What if God told you to kill the evil ones? Well, that premise is taken into some strange moments with this film. This is one of the gems that you will have to see to believe as there are some super natural elements, slasher, and horror themes that will definitely have you second guessing until the last moments. Is it real? Is it fake? What is really going on with this small town man and his two boys? Is it the devil? What is going on?! Frailty rocks hard and will send sheer horror up your spin.



Seven

David Fincher does something right, and it still has people guessing. Two detective have to solve a string of cases that are deeply rooted in the deadly sins of the Bible. Turn after turn the two get closer to solving the case until they figure it all out, but the villain is the one with the last laugh as he plays one hell of a trick on the police. If you were to make this a Batman film, it would beat out all incarnations of the character, because it is tightly wound and horrific all in the same.

For those that have seen all 3 of the preceding movies, you know exactly what it’s like to venture forth into movies that will keep you guessing, and for those that haven’t seen them, rent or buy these today, they will definitely be worth your time.

New Light on Scream 4

Scream 4 Poster

I changed my mind on the horror franchise.

The other night I decided to watch Scream 4 again, my previous thoughts on the movie were dry, and devoid any sort of spark. I was in a different place back then, financially better off, just starting to blossom as a grad student, and now look at me! I’m broke, beyond belief, and can’t even afford to keep the lights on in our home. Well, I take that back, they haven’t shut off our lights or other utilities, but it’s headed that way unless this site starts kicking in, so if you have a little bit of money drop me a line sirjorge at gmail dot com and help me literally keep the lights on, I wish that was a joke.

Scream 4 is one of the many movies that I wanted to see in theaters when it came out, but instead found myself sitting on a red painted curb smoking a clove cigarette. I wouldn’t say that I’m an addict, but I miss spending time smoking, it relaxed me. Why is it that such a terrible vice calmed my nerves? At least there’s other smoking options that do the same in these modern times, but that’s for another conversation. Back to the movie, I wanted to see this in person and never did. I finally rented it while I was living in Koreatown and a new relationship was blossoming after my divorce and things in the horror world seemed boring to me. That’s why my review of this film previously didn’t ring true to what I think now.

Suffice to say that I love this movie, far more than I do the original sequels. Now, don’t get me wrong, the original movie is awesome and showcased a revival for Wes Craven after making some cheese ball movies. Albeit, my favorite is still SHOCKER, even though I am alone in thinking that. I found this movie to be stellar on the second viewing and for a lot of different reasons, actually.

I Know That Actor!

That’s right, the actors on my first go around were not that recognizable, at least not the ones that were introduced for this movie. However, that’s not the case now, I definitely spotted people I knew, included TODD from that Canadian cult show about the book of pure evil, and many others. It was then that something started to click, and the popcorn started to pop. This movie is far more entertaining than I originally thought.

The overall movie is interesting on many different levels, with our main character coming back to town in order to sign and market a self-help book on how to get over traumatic events. We then get a struggling writer and now sheriff involved in trying to resurrect her career when serial slayings start to occur. That’s not before getting a lot of self aware rants and raves about the current landscape of horror. All in all the movie flows far better than the previous incarnations, and I absolutely was thrilled with the stellar moments, and even the not so hot moments where Craven decided to pull the camera away for dramatic effect.

All in all, Scream 4 is one of my favorite horror movies to come out in recent years, and that’s say a lot, because I am usually jaded about all of these things. But not today, even though I am a few months away from being homeless, with no career to speak of, I found that this movie let me stop thinking about thing for a few hours. It gets my recommendation, even though no one will agree…so I say. Drop me a line if you have thoughts on the mater, and please, donate by purchasing items through amazon or directly through paypal, I absolutely am in need right now, thank you.

A nod to European Horror

Here's another post from a guest. I've been battling sickness, writing a lot, starting a business, and just haven't had time to watch as much horror as I'd like to. I will return to a full schedule sooner than later, but until then, check this out.  

It’s a known fact that they sure know how to make movies that make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up over there on the old continent. For all the faithful horror fans out there- just the mere mention of names as Dario Argento or Guillermo del Toro, but the last decade has witnessed a lot of involvement from part of the Scandinavian, Russian and Serbian directors who’ve managed to offer some truly amazing titles that are surely to earn a permanent place in the Horror Hall of Fame. Let’s take a quick look at some of the most memorable ones.

Sauna (2008)

A very strong title born from the collaboration of Finland and the Czech Republic. The somber and depressing movie has a solid plot with a feasible background story, which is all the more painful as it deals with the horrors of war or, more precisely, the aftermath of these horrors and the way everything good in the human nature crumbles before the atrocities we are capable of committing.

Philosophy of a Knife (2008)

Written and directed by the promising Russian talent Andrey Iskanov, the movie follows the true story of the notorious Japanese Unit 731 - known for unbelievably brutal human experiments during WW2. The atrocities carried out in the infamous unit are far too horrendous to require extra video effects, which is something the Russian director was fully aware of. His movie is but a peak into the hellish nightmare that devoured thousands of men, women, children and infants.

Semum (2008)

A surprisingly original Turkish horror, despite the fact that it exploits a theme that we’ve seen one time too many. The effects are pretty decent for this kind of budget and the plot is as simple as it is effective. Allegedly the movie is based on the real-life events of Canan Karaca. Definitely worth checking out.

Let the Right One In (2008)

The movie is actually a remake of a previous one by director Tomas Alfredson. A different and quite unorthodox story about vampires, which is as eerie as it is endearing. Every minute of the film is brilliantly steeped in the characters’ emotions and the cinematographic and music are both beautiful.

Srpski Film / A Serbian Film (2010)

In case you have missed out on this one it’s time to make up for it. Serbia has single-handedly given to the world some of the best movies in the past several years and A Serbian Film is one of them. A brutally honest, disturbingly realistic visual experience - this movie is about as snuff as it’s ever going to get. As if the topics it deals with are not atrocious enough, the camera doesn’t shy away from the violence in a way that will make you sick to your stomach.

Indie Horror Films Worth Checking Out

I'm starting to feel better, but still am not at 100%, so you'll have to deal with guest postings yet again. I'll return to the helm with all new reviews for Chemical Burn Studios work. 

Indie movies are often overlooked by fans, mainly due to the fact that their limited budget and unrecognizable actors don’t make for a very appealing advertising campaign. If you don’t frequently browse through the horror fests’ lists of indie flicks, you risk missing out on some of the best, chilling, original and disturbing titles the horror genre has ever witnessed. For those of you, who’ve only stayed up-to-date with the mainstream titles released over the past few years, we offer a list of a few brilliant indie horror films that are definitely worth checking out.

Joshua (2006)

Travis Betz is an f-ing genius for single-handedly writing and directing one of the most dark, demented and truly disturbing horror flicks of the past decade. It is truly amazing what can be done with just few mediocre visual effects and an extremely strong background story and tight plot. Betz’s efforts have been rewarded with this realistically disturbing tale of human downfall into depravity and insanity.

Splinter (2008)

A very effective Sci-Fi horror flick, which is one of those movies that actually gains from not revealing too much about the cause of events, is what you find here. The effects are decent and the gore is just the right amount to contribute to the build-up of suspension and feeling of dread throughout the movie. Director Toby Wilkins has done a marvelous job with the plot as well as with the cast.

Dead Girl (2008)

A very powerful and disturbing movie, exploring serious social issues, full of horror that should shake you is presented here. This memorable stomach turning flick deals with the most depraved choices people make when nobody is watching. The director is sparing of effects, but effectively creates a dark tale that starts off slow, but quickly builds up to a climax of absolute destruction and carnage.

Triangle (2009)

This is more of a psychological type of horror, but still it is worth mentioning, as it is quite fresh with a very unexpected turn of events. Although the movie starts out as just another slasher, pretty soon it takes a turn for the worse and the viewer is introduced to something much more sinister than just another deranged killer hunting down a group of good-looking folks.

Perkins’ 14

Perkins’ 14 is an unusually stark flick, superbly directed and filmed by Craig Singer and it’s one of the best things to come out from the After Dark Horror Fest in recent years. The unique style and engaging script only add to the movie’s effective somber atmosphere, which draws the viewer into a downfall of horror, psychological pain and brutal violence.

Clive Barker's Books of Blood Review

(Buy the Book Here)

Your old pal Sir Jorge is still sick. I haven't been able to do a whole lot of writing, so you will have to enjoy another guest blogger attempt to get you interested in horror of a different kind. Enjoy.

Clive Barker is a well-known name in the world of horror and fantasy. His biography of a director and producer holds titles such as ‘Hellraiser’ and ‘Jericho’, which are trend-setters in times, when people thought that everything has been done before. Having said this, Barker’s true talent shines most in the field of literature. Known as one of the most promising writers in the horror genre and proclaimed by none other than Stephen King as the future of the said genre, all of Barker’s books prove that he will most certainly live up to these expectations.

The first volume of the Books of Blood consists of 6 stories and 3 introductions. The first story carries the title ‘The Book of Blood’ and it unfolds the tale of how the said book came to be. The narrative is original and grim with brilliant twists and the incorporation of paranormal elements. It is interesting to point out that Barker doesn’t abide by the rules imposed on authors at the beginning of their careers for a strict word count of their works and creates every story as he sees fit. The end result is compact, concise stories that are surprisingly engaging and influential.

The second story in the book is ‘The Midnight Meat Train’, which most people will recognize as the film adaptation with Vinnie Jones and Bradley Cooper, which was actually pretty decent. The author himself has expressed his desire for the movie to become the first of a trilogy, which will shed some light on the creatures that are behind all existence and demand bloody sacrifices for it.

In ‘The Yattering and Jack’ Barker offers an interesting insight into the mishaps of an inferior daemon. Even though someone might argue that comic is not a term that ought to be used when we’re reviewing a book in the horror genre, this story has an undeniable humoristic element to it. Time and again Barker manages to offer something fresh and original, proving that he definitely doesn’t fall under any categories of the said genre.

‘Pig Blood Blues’ makes the infamous scene from Hannibal pale in comparison. Barker is truly at his best in terms of ruthlessness and brutality that makes the reader squirm with disgust. Another proof that he is willing to experiment and explore different angles and approaches of the genre, playing with and pushing the limits of sane and normal.

In ‘Sex, Death and Starshine’ the plot unfolds following the pattern of…well..sex, death and starshine. Although far from frightening, the story is quite intriguing. The dead too require a healthy dosage of entertainment and apparently they know how to get it.

‘In the Hills, the Cities’ deservedly is placed at the end of the first volume of the ‘Books of Blood’ as it is truly the best work of the author of the 6 stories. Barker’s imagination has really surpassed all limits and ventured into realms of unimaginable horror and dread.

As a whole ‘Books of Blood’ has its weak and strong points. As we mentioned before, Barker is not amongst the authors to follow predetermined patterns in their style of writing or narrative and he’s definitely not the one to spare his readers any brutality. He’s exhaustive and thorough to the point where it can get physically unsettling for the person on the other side of the book. His works are a must-read for anyone who’s looking for something different than the mainstream horror formula.