Monday, December 22, 2008
Santa's Slay Review
Former WCW Champion Bill Goldberg plays a killer Santa who’s back to kill the naughty. It’s awesome, and not meant to be scrutinized as a serious film, but it is a throwback to the 80’s slasher formula that many other movies really miss. Santa’s Slay is a great holiday horror film, and many people never even see it, such a shame.
The movie is about a couple of teens who uncover a mysterious story, told by one’s grandpa. Back a thousand years ago Santa Claus bet against an Angel with the loser being enslaved for a thousand years. Claus, in this story is the son of the devil, and plots to kill people once a year, and loses in this game, but 1000 years later (The present) he’s back in action to slay the naughty and anyone who stands in his way. So in the Township of Hell two brave teens must try to stop a killer Santa from destroying anyone and everyone he deems naughty.
Here’s a trailer for Santa’s Slay:
The film is done nicely. The movie’s cameras and director plays a great role in pushing this movie to its limits. The picture is nice, and the overall quality is great. While this is a straight to dvd and/or made for television film it really is top notch. It is higher quality than a lot of other films that I’ve seen go straight to dvd. The angles, the effects, the make up, and all things movie related are right on point and look great for this type of film.
The death’s are well made and awesome. We’re talking about serial slaying with all sorts of Christmas and Holiday related toys and gadgets. The only thing missing is a Festivus pole, but then again, one might argue that the electricity in the strip club is a throwback to that idea from Seinfeld.
Goldberg’s one liners are great. They are all related to the Holiday’s and they are all on point in a raspy, scary voice. I’m a little bit of a fan since I was a wcw fan circa 1999 when Bill Goldberg was a major wrestling star. This movie goes out of its way to be halfway serious, until the final act, where everything is dismantled and this movie becomes another joke of a horror plot.
Why Santa’s Slay is scary: Taking the story of Santa Claus and making it a serial killing parable isn’t new. However, throwing the traditional into a scary and supernatural story is not bad. We all believe in something or nothing, and it all has to do with some sort of entity. Here we see the entity manifested in Biblical proportions, with the main characters being angels and/or the son of Satan. This is not too farfetched. Consider Mormonism for a moment. Mormonism has a belief that Jesus is the brother of Satan, that’s right, they are brothers, and millions upon millions of people believe that to be true. So the idea that Satan’s son could be Santa Claus can’t be too far off of an idea to spoof or borrow.
Consider also that the Fat Red Santa mythos wasn’t even invented until the 19th century sometime, by an artist rendering. It was also then more commercialized by the Coca Cola company and away we go to modern Santa Claus. This creates an interesting scenario of belief that makes some of the points in this movie sort of scary. What if it was all true?
What if? We deal in a world of what ifs. I know that it’s not a popular thing to believe, but consider the fact that many people in the world are waiting for economic collapse and are storing up food and supplies. Consider the millions of people that believe in God, and are waiting for the second coming of Christ. Consider even fringe beliefs of sorts, like the Ethiopian Orthodox church. They believe that they have the original Ark of the Covenant. That’s right, there are a lot of what ifs that people believe and are personally attached to, and that’s why this film is kind of scary at times. It pulls a quick punch in the direction of Santa, which is popularized once a year, and spins it on its axis into an evil association, which creates quite the contrived and impersonal setting for this horror movie.
This film is scary on the notions of a what if scenario. It can be argued that all movies in the horror genre are scary in the, what if, argument that I’m creating in this article. However, this one is meant to be tongue and cheek at times, and I can’t really see another way to explain why this movie could be scary. Most people won’t find this movie to scary as it deals a lot with the supernatural as a counterbalance to serial killings, but you might also argue that the vigilante justice that Santa is giving out in this film is not too unlike previous horror movie efforts such as “Christmas Evil” and “Silent Night Deadly Night”, but in the realms of horror it stands out on its overall pledge to keep things just below the radar in terms of horror. Sure it has horror elements, and sure it really hinges on a little supernatural belief, but if you strip away the nonsense, you get an enjoyable horror film with a lot of comedic moments and some silly deaths.
Santa’s Slay is the best movie I’ve seen in terms of Holiday Horror. There are a lot of bad movies out there, and this one is not one of them. It’s light, it’s funny, and if you allow yourself to ask a few what if questions, you’re in for a good holiday horror time. It’s not really meant to be treated as a nightmare, but it has enough of umph to get you through the yuletide mess we call holidays. Santa’s Slay is a harmless, yet powerful horror film, and I liked it a lot more than some other Holiday themed films, so I suggest a viewing of Santa’s Slay. If not a s a whole, then for the great opening sequences featuring some SNL alumni, some classic actors, and one hot former sitcom star….trust me. Santa’s Slay, if nothing else, is funny, and that’s kind of cool for a horror film.
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