Angel Review

Angel (1984) Poster

I was first exposed to the movie "Angel" when I saw the poster at a video store in Inglewood, California. I was a kid, but the poster looked like a porno movie, and I always had a fascination with porno posters. This movie came out in 1984, and it is an exploitation movie, that has a tinge of horror, but mostly it's a thriller with notes of sexploitation. This is a grindhouse picture that would play in theaters alongside other B-movies, but it has some good moments. The movie was directed by Robert O'Neill, and stars Cliff Gorman, Susan Tyrrell, Dick Shawn, and Donna Wilkes.

The plot of this movie features an underage girl who is just an average prep school teenager by day, but at night, she becomes a hooker. She walks the streets with her friends, and they are all part of the sex trade, or performing on Hollywood Blvd. After you are introduced to both sides of her world, you start to meet her friends, and they are all performers, or prostitutes. Once the introductions are done, a serial killer strikes, killing prostitutes in brutal fashion. A rogue detective comes on board and talks to the ladies and men of the night and tells them to work in pairs and to keep an eye out, and that he's not going to bust them, he wants to get the killer. Well, the movie progresses and we see the killer stalking Angel and her friends, even her transgender friend, and things get way out of hand. When Angel has enough, she gets found out, her life starts crashing down, and she gets even, with a revolve and street justice.

This is the same kind of movie that you would expect from Charles Bronson and others at Cannon. It's a good movie, in the sense that it has the tropes of a grindhouse movie, with bad acting, illicit elements of sex, and of course vigilante justice. That alone makes this movie one of the many standouts that you'll get to see when it comes to the world of cinema. It's the start of a 4 movie picture series, and it features the same premise nearly every time, with a woman that is working the streets by night, but by day is a normal school girl.

I'm not sure if this is a true to life tail, but it has a bit of sex, violence, and mostly drawn out dramatic moments. It's nonsensical at times, that's for sure. There's a bit of film grit to the movie, and at times I think it's similar to a porno movie that would star Ginger Lynn from the same time frame. In fact, some of the sets even looked like one of her movies that I reviewed online before.

"Angel" is a movie that walks the line between sexploitation and horror. It's not quite horror, it's more exploitation and grindhouse than anything else. It's a stellar ride, and it's something that many people will enjoy, but it's definitely not purely horror. It's a sign of the times, and something that wouldn't get made today. I love the plot, the killing fields, and the idea of the main character being a prostitute trying to make ends meet. She makes the choice, she's not being exploited.

You can order Angel from 1984 by clicking here, and getting the trilogy in one box set. Or you can order below:

Review: Death Wish 4 Is The Premier Charles Bronson Movie

My dad was a huge Charles Bronson fan. I don’t know what it was, but there was something that he loved about him. Perhaps it’s the fact that Bronson looked like a European version of my father. Then again, I think my dad looks like the Mexican Jackie Chan. Whatever the case is, I was introduced to the Death Wish series with installment #4. I saw it on VHS and it was classic. My dad let me watch whatever I wanted, so thanks to him this website even exists. The dude ditched me at age 8, but every now and again I’ll hear from him and he’ll tell me he’s proud or something else. I don’t know. It’s been a while.

That’s not what I’m here to talk about, I’m here to talk about an architect turned vigilante. Paul Kersey is a man that is going to take the law into his own hands. Directed by J. Lee Thompson “Death Wish 4” completely blew me away and still is awesome. When Kersey’s girlfriend’s daughter dies of a drug overdose, he has to take down some serious drug trade kingpins and he does so with brutality and NO MERCY!

Once you mess with Paul Kersey, you’re going to die, and not just die, but you’re going to get completely made fun of after the fact. In this movie he takes down a lot of bad guys, and if you pay attention Danny Trejo makes an appearance as “Art Sanella”. The ending of these movies really gets publicity, and this one is no different. Not only is Bronson’s on screen love killed, he exacts revenge with a grenade launcher right at the bad guy, and ridiculous explosions ensue.

This movie is another instance where Cannon creates exploitation glory. The movie is fast paced, and you know what is going to happen. Long before we had a “Jigsaw” killer, there was one man taking the law into his own hands because the police couldn’t help him. That’s what you get with Death Wish and that’s what you get with this 4th installment. It’s a classic, and it’s not necessarily a horror film, but it’s an example of the grindhouse cinema style that inspires many creative film makers to pursue the dream of making movies.

Then again, maybe it just makes people like myself wax poetic about bad acting, extreme violence, and skateboard companies named after a cool series. Death Wish 4 is NOT available on Netflix, those bastards, at least not streaming, so I had to track it down on my own. I recommend it, because it’s Charles Bronson and it’s Death Wish, a big part of my movie history. Check it out for free, or buy it by clicking here.

The 5 Best Damn Horror Movies For Christmas

In 2010, when I was still writing like a mad man and trying to get myself out of another bout with depression I wrote about the Top 5 Christmas horror movies, and it was received well enough. People thought I was wrong and people thought I was right. You could read that post right here, but today is not about the past it’s about the present and the future. It’s with that in mind that I’m going to drop a bomb today, and no I do not mean another bowel movement.

Today, for your consideration, like an episode of “Are You Afraid of the Dark” is none other than the best damn horror movies for Christmas. Of course these are not for children, and no they aren’t pornographic although Dracula XXX comes highly recommended by me and Ron Jeremy. I think he was in it, I haven't seen it in a long time, not that I'm advocating pornography directly.

So here you go, all 2 of you that still read this site, my picks for the best of the best. If you agree, disagree, or have some comments, let me know what's up.

5. Santa’s Slay

Bill Goldberg plays one hell of a character here. It doesn’t end very well and it takes on a laughable premise, but for the most part, this horror Christmas entry is one that is well worth looking at. I must also admit that the best bit of performance art was had by this former NFL and WCW powerhouse. His match with DDP at WCW’s Halloween Havoc in 1998 is still one of the most impressive feats of professional wrestling, fake or not, they danced in a very grand way. Now that I’ve lost my readers, I can say that this movie is one of the best examples of a movie that wasn’t meant for theaters and still manages to deliver a high production value. The gore is ramped up at times, and the opening sequence alone is star studded and brings out some fun. Santa’s Slay may not be a serious movie, but it most certainly delivers on the horror aspect. It’s fun, not scary, so don’t give me slack.

4. To All A Good Night

The 1970s were a hell of a time for movies. There seemed to be a willingness to be uncensored, and work with the ratings in a much harder way. There was also a great deal of creativity thrown to the box covers of videos. To All A Good Night is one of those movies that slips by a lot of people, but is worth scoping out. It is the story of a group of teenagers that are partying and are being slowly picked off by a maniac in a Santa Claus suit. Pretty basic, and quite a throwback, even if the pacing is a bit on the slow side. But hey, a killer Santa Claus nearly 10 years before the other famed one? Yep.The 1970s produced some sick movies, and this may not be the sickest of all the releases, but it is definitely a good one that many people move over in favor of Christmas Evil, Black Christmas, and even some older options that are just boring as ever.

3. Chopping Mall

Chopping Mall is insane. It has one of my favorite movie posters and really is one of the coolest concepts. A mall closes down and to protect the place, a killer robot is dispatched. This may not be a 100% Christmas tale, but it’s all about shopping or rather Chopping! It features an incredible head explosion before CG started to be everywhere. It’s a good entry into this list and one that is well worth your time to seek out. The next time you’re at the mall, just think about this movie and how you could be next! Remember the Simpsons episode? That was good. I remember the first time I saw this, it was a double feature for me with Sleepaway Camp. The horror movie video boxes were 100 times more intriguing than anything that is seen now. I am definitely a big fan of these things, and wax nostalgic about it too much, or not enough.

2. Gremlins

Horror comedy that isn’t scary? Well Gremlins pushes on a lot of comedic elements, but still maintains a good creep factor that gives you enough of a treat. This is not an all-out onslaught of the senses, and it is not a slasher, but the horror elements, hard drinking, smoking and more makes this one quite compelling. Gremlins fans will be upset that I didn’t put this at #1 but come on, it’s more comedy than it is straight laced horror, right? Whatever. A small town gets hit with crude Gremlins! What’s not to love? This movie is definitely the better of the two releases that bear the name Gremlins. Also, don't confuse this for Critters or Ghoulies. I love Ghoulies though, and remember that one time that they went to college? There's a lot of Critters movies too, they had cool posters.

1. Black Xmas (remake)

There are going to be a lot of people upset about this. No, Silent Night Deadly Night doesn’t get start treatment here. Why? Because Black Xmas came out swinging and completely obliterates the 5 movies that were just awful. The first one had a Santa Claus rape and murder sequence, so it loses on the premise of just being horrendous. Ok, it’s a favorite of mine, but still, this one ramps up the brutality, production, and sound design. A group of sorority girls get stalked by a psycho around Christmas. The ending is brutal as ever, and the sound design makes this one my top pick. It’s a good watch, and eliminates the need to watch many others. If you don't like this one, then it's most likely because it's too brutal. I admit, it  has some moments that will make you cringe, but like Wes Craven reminds, it's only a movie, it's only a movie.

There you have it, Scary Film Reviews best of Christmas. Oh and if you think I’m a hack, I spent 3 consecutive years reviewing only Holiday Horror movies in the month of December, so go back into the archives and see why they aren’t on this list here. Ok, I admit, I am a hack. Pick these up with the appropriate links below and help a brotha out, it’s Christmas!

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Paranormal Activity 3 Review

(buy from amazon here)

I heard a lot about these movies and every year there are a lot of different ads being pushed about the movies. I’m not necessarily a big fan of scare tactics which is what the movie series is all about, well, that and shaking camera footage. If you guessed that I would be reviewing Paranormal Activity 3 than you are probably psychic or you read my post-it notes. I managed to sit through this sequel the other night instead of reading a book, and I am regretting it, but then again, I regret a lot of the movies that I end up watching for the main purpose of reviewing on this website. Sure, I’m a fan of horror, but some things are just awfully slow moving. With that in mind, here are my petty thoughts on this movie.

The movie is your classic haunting tale at first. A family goes into a house and bad things happened before. But that’s not how we are introduced, a box of videocassette tapes is delivered and through the footage strange things start to happen in the home. Is it a ghost? Is it an entity? I don’t know, but it sure is creepy when things start to happen.

You have to pay attention to what is going on throughout this movie. I turned away to stop my cats from killing each other and my girlfriend told me something crazy happened. I could’ve rewound the movie but why? This isn’t vhs era, man I miss those days. Remember the oversized porn boxes? They had cardboard trays inside, oh never mind. There are a lot of boring, things that you will find in this movie especially a lot of dead air. The camera moves left to right and no sound is heard, and at times only a sheet is seen. However, much like a “Where’s Waldo” book, you better be ready to notice what is going wrong, otherwise it’s very quiet.

By the time something really starts to happen, you don’t care, I know I didn’t. Sure there were some moments where evil seemed to takeover, but I didn’t really like it.

My main problem with this movie was that the entity in the movie focused at o ne point at harming a child. I always find that killing children, abusing them, and targeting them for the sake of horror or entertainment is just not something I want to enjoy. It bugs me. It’s odd because I have seen some sick stuff, including many graphic violent and rape scenes, but when you mess with a child, I start to lose interest. With the exception of “Who Can Kill a Child” in which the children were killing all adults and if it the sole survivor didn’t punch out a few children, he was a goner just like the rest of the party.

Paranormal Activity 3 is boring, yet effective. I can see why many people love it, but I don’t know if I loved it. No, I do know, I didn’t love it. It’s slow moving, it’s creepy, and well it’s boring. I did find the jump scares effective, but it really isn’t that great. Maybe you’ll disagree, and if so, drop me a line, otherwise, eh, it’s ok at best.



Support Scary Film Review 

If you want to support the efforts of this site, and me (sir jorge) you can do so by buying things on amazon through the links I provide, or you could donate some money via the link in the sidebar. If you would like to see LESS ads, you can subscribe to this website via the RSS feed link on the right. I am 100% freelance, and a pro-writer, I only write and go to grad school, so this site helps me get a cup of coffee and rent horror movies. Please help if you can, otherwise, enjoy the blog.

Hellblazer Original Sins Book Review

(buy on amazon click here)

For fans of horror literature and comic books all the same there wasn’t a lot to love in the mainstream, although there were always graphic comics released in the underground. Then things started to unravel in the late 80s with a lot of super hero stuff getting dark, so some of the mighty comic companies put out a horror themed book that would change the face of one young reader’s mind (me), and that book was Hellblazer. We were introduced into a character that fascinates throughout the series and it all starts for new readers with Hellblazer: Original Sin a graphic novel for fans that haven’t picked up all the issues of this dying series from Vertigo.

Original Sins is the first 9 issues of the comic book series alongside Swamp Thing #76 and #77 towards the end. Readers get introduced to the series from the beginning and a little taste of where John Constantine first started out in another series, which is usually how these things work out. The character is a chain-smoking lad that comes from Liverpool and runs into demons, supernatural worlds, and gets into some dark subject matter that might offend youngsters and parents alike.

He’s a perfect portrait of an anti-hero, an ass of a man that is somehow cherished and dare I say loveable. He has flaws, but there is a good sense of caring written in to his mean streak as he looks into a variety of cases of the unreal. From the very first official issue of his series we find Constantine looking into the case of a demon possession through New York City much like many super hero characters before him. The demon in question jumps around and makes serious problems for our hero. He must get the help from a magic man named Papa Midnight who aligns himself from time to time with John to control demons and the likes. He got his own spinoff at one point.

As you continue to read Original Sins you start to go through the story of Constantine fighting demons in our world that are (for lack of a better word) yuppies by nature and are watching economic growth and the likes. Readers are introduced to a female character that saves the humanity of our antihero, her name is Zed and lets a bit of a foil come through when dealing with what is otherwise a solo project for Constantine. The book continues through story after story of religious and satanic entanglements and really poses to be an interesting arc of stories from the original issues before getting treated to a cool two-part Swam Thing story from the past.

Should You Buy John Constantine Hellblazer: Original Sins?

The short answer is YES.

The first volume of this fascinating series gives you a good taste of everything you’d want from a horror comic book. It includes original covers, sketches from the artists and if you’re a fan of Dave Mckeane than once again you will be treated to awesome artwork. Even though the series is going to be put to an end, you clearly see why it lasted so long with this first book collecting the first signs of life for the iconoclast. Vertigo does a great deal for fans of alternative graphic media, and I for one am a huge fan. John Constantine Hellblazer Original Sins is available by clicking here. It gets a 5 out of 5 rating in my humble opinion.

Support Scary Film Review 

If you want to support the efforts of this site, and me (sir jorge) you can do so by buying things on amazon through the links I provide, or you could donate some money via the link in the sidebar. If you would like to see LESS ads, you can subscribe to this website via the RSS feed link on the right. I am 100% freelance, and a pro-writer, I only write and go to grad school, so this site helps me get a cup of coffee and rent horror movies. Please help if you can, otherwise, enjoy the blog.

Texas Chainsaw 3D Review

Texas Chainsaw 3D Suckas!

True fans will love it; fake fans will call it stupid.

Last weekend I was excited, I took my girlfriend to see Texas Chainsaw 3D and was excited to see something horror related come to full release, and I was adamant about seeing it. I was reading early reviews on twitter and couldn’t believe how many people were trashing it, including a site that claims they review the “best horror movies” and I immediately went on a tirade to try and cajole people into having fun at the movies once again. I did get feedback from someone that listened to my cries for desperation and end up going through with it and they LOVED IT!

The movie follows up directly after where the first one ended, and it featured some of the same style of film making in the opening credits. The story follows a young girl that is the last female of the family that was killed after the original film concludes. The film features Tobe Hooper’s characters, Bill Moselely, and so many other original actors from the original, and I could’ve sworn that Tobe Hooper produced it according to the credits that rolled before the film, but I’m not 100% sure if that was the end result.

The movie followed a good overall story where the heir to the home of the original family of horror in Texas has a miserable time dealing with her cousin. When leather face realizes that she’s a family member he turns into a sort of antihero that punishes those that burned down his family’s home. The movie then leaves a gap open for subsequent sequels.

There are a lot of different pieces to this puzzle, but the most important parts are that we might get a new set of movies that are related to Tobe Hooper’s original characters. I thought the movie was fun, great, and full of good 3D jump-starts. I saw it in a sold out showing with a lot of African American teenagers and it was the most fun I’ve had in years. Not since Freddy vs. Jason have I fully endorsed seeing a movie in theaters with a crowd. I was rolling in my seat, enjoying myself, and just loved every minute.

Sure, there are dumb moments, sure there are parts that seem overly polished, and logic can easily be interjected to ruin the fun, but you know what?

This is NOT an Oscar movie; it’s a horror movie. If you didn’t like it, you don’t like the genre. It’s a fun romp, much different than the original, much more like the second movie with Dennis Hopper and a great continuation of the story. From what I read online Tobe Hooper loved it, and if anyone didn’t, screw you. I’m sick of all the negative reviews, people should see this if they are fans, and they did, #1 movie in American baby!

HELL YEAH!

Loved it. You will too.

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Scary Film Review’s 2012 Holiday Wishlist

Every year I post an annual wish list of sorts in hopes of spreading my holiday cheer to anyone that loves horror movies and wants to pick up something for themselves via our links. This year, I’ve made it a point to select a few items that will reflect the nature of this site as well as the 5 readers still commenting and trying to win the prize of the month.

If you purchase any of these from the links I provide, I get a few cents back. It helps me keep writing instead of flipping burgers.

Here is the Scary Film Review’s 2012 Holiday Wishlist



The Walking Dead Board Game – If you’re a fan of the comics, the television show, and just a fan of zombies in general, you have to pick up this game. Hours of fun and excitement can be had with this extreme board game that pits survivors against zombies! Can you survive? Click here to pick up this game and get it delivered in time for the new season.



Stephen King’s Dark Tower Omnibus Hardcover – The comics that were based on Stephen King’s Dark Tower novels is now available in a hardcover edition that delivers nearly 1,000 pages of the original comic series in a hardbound amazing edition. If you are a fan, click here, and pick this up. It’s simply stunning on the inside.

Movies

Aside from the above quick picks, you’ll probably want to pick up some movies right? If you’re still buying Blu Ray and not just streaming, consider my list of the best things to get horror movie fans this year. (Click through the links to purchase them)

Cabin in the Woods Blu Ray – A surprise hit for me, although the ending was a bit, well, you’ll find out.

The Walking Dead Season 2 Limited Edition Gore Head Blu Ray – This collection comes in a nasty gorey head. It’s quite possibly the best release ever put in a limited edition box set.

The Twilight Zone Complete Blu Ray Set – This is the mother of science fiction television and is wonderfully presented in a 24 disc Blu Ray set with more special features than you can throw a stick at.

That’s it. Let me know what you are getting this holiday season, and if you’re going to shop online please visit amazon.com here, and help me keep this site going instead of having to work a normal 9 to 5. Thank you.

The Dentist Review

Ah yes, the most hated medical profession outside of being a Proctologist, has to be this one, The Dentist. In this review, I will be talking about that and wonder a few things that I have experienced in my life and some things you might want to chime in about, all in all a good time. So sit back, grab a stiff drink (I like Gin & Tonic), and enjoy the ramblings of your host with the most, Sir J.

The Dentist is a movie that I’ve seen before, but haven’t in a long time, so I had to watch it again in order to remind myself of how cool Corbin is. It stars Corbin Bernsen, one of my personal favorite actors in a role that is quite maddening in many ways. A well to do doctor is having problems with his marriage (and no, it’s not that he’s not going down…er….never mind), and one day catches his wife and the pool guy getting some action. He gets mad, so mad that he goes forward to grab his gun and hunts down the pool guy at a friends house, when he is caught by a friend of his wife. They exchange pleasantries before he finds out that the pool guy is banging her too! Now, don’t get me wrong, this is in no way a porno, but I swear I saw a pornographic movie start this way, but then again, I just remember a pool house in the Asia Carrera movie “The Bitch” in where…er…once again never mind.

The plot of the movie becomes a revenge thing, where our antihero goes nuts in his dental practice and starts hurting his patients. As he slips more and more into madness and molests one of the women that comes to get a cleaning, he starts to kill them off in the most ridiculous of dental ways. As the film progresses he eventually is caught, and this morality play ends with him in a very uncomfortable position.

Corbin Bernsen rocks this one, slipping in and out of madness as the evil dental professional, and at times you are rooting for him. At other times, you’re disgusted by the makeup effects that are used to make the kills and thrills more gorey. One major prosthetic is amazing, however, with a man’s mouth opened at full mast and his teeth and tongue exaggerated for the camera.

The revenge plot thing works well here, and the movie is fast paced. On one side you want to root for him, because that good for nothing pool man is getting it on with all the wives. Then again, he shouldn’t kill, he should just get a divorce right? Or maybe he should get revenge somehow, that doesn’t involve killing? Who knows, it’s a standard horror piece with above average nudity and comedic timing that may or may not be intentional. I recommend The Dentist, it made me laugh, it made me cry, it made get wood….er never mind.

Dead Tone Review

Well, my goal of writing only werewolf movie reviews really tanked this month, and with that in mind I decided to throw in the towel and just start reviewing again. I managed to watch a cool slasher film that most people didn’t see for a few years until it was purchased by the people that were producing the Flavor Flav horror anthology television series for BET and thus we get this movie called Dead Tone.

I read some criticisms about how this movie was a rip off of “Scream” but when you get to the meat of the movie you start to realize that this stands all on its own with great prowess. The plot involves a prank call gone awry. A few kids are calling people and making them panic, and if they can reach 75 seconds on the call, they are declared a winner. The opening is very hard to watch, especially since many taboos are broken in the horror genre. Just in the first 15 minutes, you get child killing, a strangling, and a lot of violence that you just don’t get with a lot of other horror films today. Granted, this movie was made in 2005, and then released in 2007, so it’s not like a brand new one, but it definitely earns the R rating with how brutal the opening is.

The movie progresses nicely, setting up the twists that are to come and in predictable fashion the children are college students when we pick up the story. They are headed to a remote house where they can party and once again play the game of prank calls. It’s there that they run into the same villain that terrorized them as children, only this time they are going to get hacked!

The movie turns from dramatic thriller to serious slasher with a faceless villain smarter than the kids he’s chasing. You get all the gore you want here, and if you blink you’ll miss some cool sequences of death. The movie continues like this through the third act, right before it hits the climax in which we see who the villain really is, and a twist that my girlfriend even didn’t see coming!

By the time a rogue detective gets to the crime scene, we already get more twists than a pretzel. That’s terrible, I’m sorry.

Dead Tone is a refreshing slasher movie that had me guessing until the very end. I appreciated that this didn’t take itself too seriously, and delivered a good romp of horror fun. I really enjoyed this one and highly recommend it for those that are looking for a hidden gem amongst the bargain bin movies at your local video store. Do they exist any longer? Man, remember the porn sections that were blocked by red ropes or something like that? Nevermind. Check this movie out and look for a brief cameo in the start by FLAVOR FLAV!

Werewolf Hunter Review

When it comes to finding good movies, I tend to judge the cover. I know, they always say not to, but I can’t help it. I’ve found some of my favorite movies and books have the coolest covers ever. Maybe it’s because I’m a graphic designer (bachelor’s degree), or maybe it’s because I’m a man and visual stimulation comes naturally to me in some way, I just absolutely love cover art. When I saw the cover art for Werewolf Hunter, I was definitely intrigued and thought it would be a good overall flick. What ended up turning out was a moderately successful werewolf movie that left me wanting something else. The movie is a Spanish one that was originally titled Romansanta, but for this review it’s called Werewolf Hunter, the proper name.

The movie is an interesting one, it is based on true events, and it’s not completely implausible. The plot revolves around a man that seduces women and then eats them. He then takes their fat and makes soap. When many women start disappearing a small town starts a hunt for all wolves, thinking it’s merely a wolf that is doing the damage. After some time, we are introduced to a hunter that claims he has been turned into a wolf and now must hunt his nemesis in order to once again become a man. The whole thing is tied up to a folklore tale of a man that claimed he killed many people but wasn’t to blame, because he was a werewolf.

The plot moves slowly, although there are some nice visuals. You get a sense for the time and place, with great costumes and beautiful women. Yes, there is nudity, so score one for those looking for a little Spanish boob action. Other than that, the movie feels like a Shakespearean play, as there is high drama throughout the film. By the time you get to the killing, it’s subdued and boring. There is a quick transformation scene that is kind of cool, but other than that, this felt like a made for television romp than anything else.

Werewolf Hunter is not a good movie, if you’re looking for horror. It’s a good piece of dramatic film making, but outside of that, it’s just not for scary film review fans or anyone that wants to have fun at the movies. I started to fall asleep towards the end, which is an awful sign. Not every movie can be a winner, but then again, my girlfriend liked it, so maybe it’s good for some, not for others. Wow, how awful are my reviews getting? I’ll have more reviews coming sooner than later.

Red: Werewolf Hunter Review

For today’s review I wanted to look at a little made for television movie about werewolves and boy did I find one that I didn’t hate, and was pleasantly surprised with. SyFy channel made this movie in 2010 and it starred some halfway decent acting mixed in with some interesting story telling elements and while it looked like it could be a straight to dvd feature, it still had elements worth noting that were far beyond the campy norm that usually plagues movies of this nature. Red: Werewolf Hunter takes the traditional route with horror, but there is enough to please just about anyone.

The movie revolves around the plot of Little Red Riding Hood, as she and her family are now hunters of werewolves. The first sequence of this film really hooked me. We get to see grandma get torn to pieces by a wolf, and while this moment was really harsh, it would not live up for the rest of the film, as this is the most violent scene you get without the aid of computer graphics. Grandma doesn’t live and through the floorboards of the attic a young Red watches on.

We are then moved forward to a new day, a new home and a couple visiting the woods to grandmother’s house. There we meet the werewolf hunters all in line with “Red” and there are some laughable moments in the introduction of each character, but you just live with it. The problem that plagues the family is a new breed of werewolf that can morph whenever they want, which means that outside of the full moon, the family will now have to fight.

When the fiancée of “Red” gets bitten, all hell breaks loose and the family has to fight the new villain. The villain named Gabriel is awesome, in my view, mixing elements of “Prison Break” with something a bit more macabre. If you don’t get behind the family of hunters, you will get behind this villain, as he owned the screen whenever he was on. Outside of that, the rest was just a bit bland.

The movie goes through the same elements that you would expect with any other horror film in this genre with people dying, the body count rising and the ultimate showdown between hunters and hunted. In the end, you get a favorable ending and that’s about it.

Red: Werewolf Hunter had some great moments. I liked the fighting for the most part, and did enjoy the movie more than I thought I would. I think SyFy is getting better with these pieces as the movie had a certain element of budget that is often times lacking. I didn’t like the graphics of the wolves, but I guess I can live with them. Overall, this wasn’t half bad, and would recommend it. It’s not great, by any means, but it’s far better than you’d expect.

Mom Review

Today we are featuring a film that came out in 1991. It is one that flew beneath the radar of millions of people, and only a select few ended up watching it. I saw the posters for it when I was a kid, but I never did venture forward to see it. That is, until last night when it was time once again to watch another werewolf spectacular! Today, we will be discussing the horror comedy named Mom.

The movie starts out interesting, with a loner at a bus stop waiting to head towards Los Angeles. He is in the darkness when a woman tries to befriend him. When she offers him a drink, he obliges by opening up her blouse and killing her wolf style! This kind of weird “rape” scenario really didn’t do too much in the way of introducing the character as more than a rapist, until the flash of the full moon offset the initial shock.

The plot fast-forwards to the present where an old lady and her family are enjoying Christmas and another year gone by. Things are normal, until our drifter ends up wanting to rent a room inside grandma’s house. When she tries to cook the man a nice dinner, he doesn’t want to eat, and then he attacks! The makeup here is fast, and no transformation scene is shown, but we get a full wolf style mask and jowls to prove that it’s a wolf.

The kicker here is that the werewolf is blind and states that he’s immortal and can turn grandma into a flesh-eating wolf. This transitional stage and process isn’t really shown, and the movie moves into a more buddy-style movie where the older lady (mother) is being groomed to become a full-fledged werewolf by the super villain. Of course the wolf plays blind, but we all know he can see.

When the old lady’s son, whom also is a reporter for the news station, finds out that his mother is eating the flesh of homeless people, he decides that the stranger needs to go and goes on attack, and this of course is where the movie starts to derail for everyone.

The movie throws a wrench into the werewolf lore. Forget about silver bullets, or anything like that, our main villain is killed by a fire, that’s it. He’s set on fire and he goes away into the dust. That leaves grandma (mother) with the vice of eating human flesh, so the son locks her away, and this of course starts an odd kind of “trapped” movie.

Billed as a comedy, “MOM” was supposed to be an interesting taking the werewolf lore; instead it proves to be a slow moving romp through lackluster jokes, and interesting problems. You start to wonder whether or not you’d let your mom kill to survive or would you kill her and save humanity? There are some moments where this movie becomes far too dramatic for its own good, and I found myself wanting to fall asleep.

I don’t necessarily recommend “MOM” unless you absolutely have to see every werewolf movie out there. It’s a bad example of the wolf lore, but it’s not terrible. It has a few shining moments, and an ending that will have you either applauding or simply laughing, you decide.



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Werewolf Reviews From The Past

When it comes to reviewing werewolf movies, I often times think about what I’ve already done on this website. I’ve been reviewing movies for several years now, and have posted over 700 posts on this blog. I did not just show up overnight and start wanting to talk about horror, and to showcase that love, I wanted to share links to the past reviews that I’ve done.

The werewolf movies that I’ve reviewed have been a toss up over the years, and before I move into publishing thoughts on more wolf movies, I wanted to relive the past one more time.

Check out the following links, and tomorrow we begin another round of conversations about werewolves.

Howling III Review
An American Werewolf in London Review
The Wolfman Review
Full Eclipse Review
The Curse of the Werewolf Review
976-Evil Review
Silver Bullet Review
Howling Review

Check out the above links to reviews I've done on this site in the past. They go back all the way to 2008, so enjoy.

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The Beast of Bray Road Review

For those of you that are new, or haven’t really checked out my site for a while, you’ll be glad to know that November 2012 is Werewolf month, and I will be looking at only werewolf movies. That’s roughly 24 – 30 movies related to t he evil creature.

Today’s pick will be our first entry into the genre. The movie is a 2005 horror movie that was based on a true story, or so they say, and features a creature so scary, that it most likely haunted a small town for a long period of time. The movie I’m talking about is The Best of Bray Road.

The movie starts off a bit slow, setting up the characters that are involved. We have the classic police force made up of locals in a small town with one transplant from the big city. He gets a lot of crap for being a “city” boy, and he has to deal with the attitudes of the town’s people as well as the department. He stumbles upon a missing person and he then starts to get notices that people are getting mauled by what appears to be a monster. It’s at around the third or fourth report that we get the inside story of what is going on, that a werewolf, the beast, is out there and has come back to seek revenge on the city that once took it out back in the 1800s.

The movie doesn’t really have much in the way of a transformation scene, nor does it do much for the genre, it just throws you (the viewer) into a small town in Wisconsin that is having problems with a werewolf and it’s up to the sheriff from out of town to stop it.

The monster is terrible. It’s absolutely obvious that there is someone in a wolf suit and it’s painfully obvious that the budget wasn’t spent on creating the monster suit, however, I didn’t expect greatness from a straight to dvd movie. The movie moves forward relatively slow after a few gorey death scenes, and by the time you’re ready to tune out the men in the audience get treated to some boobs. The skin and sin is short lived as our hero and a few helpers take their guns to the woods and try to hunt down the creature.

What seems like a straight up horror movie turns into a murder mystery in which you’re left guessing who the wolf really is. The contemporary rulebook on wolves and horror gets thrown out the window, and you have to just go with whatever is fed to you on this one as the movie dives off the deep end in the later parts of the film.

Overall, not a terrible movie, but not one of my favorites by far, but it shouldn't be a surprise since it's a straight to dvd film. It’s interesting to see what a low budget can get you, and you do get some decent acting out of Sarah Lieving and Tom Downey, but B-Movie mainstay Jeff Denton didn’t really do much to push his acting abilities. Then again, the whole movie isn’t exactly award winning. I thought it had its moments, especially with a few jump scares that even Hollywood steals from time to time. Check out the Beast of Bray Road, if you’re an ultimate fan of werewolves, otherwise, wait for something far better.

8MM Review

When I first started Scary Film Review, many years before, I didn’t always review straightforward horror movies. I found that many mainstream thrillers were just as scary if not more horrified than modern horror. Every now and then I’ll run into a mainstream mystery, thriller, or drama that has a subject matter that is worthy of the Scary Film Review blog. That was the case with the following movie. 8MM came out in 1999 and it was directed by the guy that ruined the Batman franchise, but somehow, this Nicolas Cage film brought elements of horror to the mainstream in a way that should have been on par with “The Silence of the Lambs” but probably filtered out somehow. Join me today in a review of 3 elements that were scary in the Joel Shumacher film “8MM”.

SNUFF – The first thing that you’ll notice about this film is the subject matter. The movie is about a detective that is looking for a girl that could’ve been murdered in a snuff film. Now, I have talked about the genre in the past, and even saw a documentary about this. Is it real? Well, many people still swear that they have seen one, but honestly, there have not been a lot of real snuff movies available to the public. Hardcore, porn, and ultra violence, sure, but real snuff? That’s something that scares many people, and only serial killers have been known to distribute and record their stuff. That being said, the subject matter of the film shows clips of ultra violence and if you’re squeamish, you will flinch, as they are prominent and urgent to the story’s main plot.

Slavery – The second horror element that you’ll find in this film is a mix of violence and sex within the adult industry. Our hero, in this case a private detective, finds himself in the world of underground pornography, and he’s not sure what he’s getting into, until he is in too deep. Does this exist? Yes. I’ve seen many a CNBC special and even worked at an independent video store, and a small stint in the adult industry while I was in college. There is in fact sex trafficking, deviance, and a major criminal element within the adult industry that many people don’t know about. That is shown here in a very “comical” way at times, but it’s not something that is completely fictitious. It becomes truly scary to know that sex trafficking, kidnapping, and murder are all part of the pornography industry, even though many refuse to read, or know about it.

Missing Persons – The scariest thing about this movie is how hard it hits home for people. I am not a victim of this, but I do know several people that have gone missing. A friend of mine disappeared once, and a few years later resurfaced as a bum on the streets. For years his family searched for him and he was nowhere to be found. What happened? For all I know he decided to walk away. But how many girls, and young boys are taken away and either murdered or kept in someone’s basement with mothers and fathers waiting for them? This element is sad, and is a catalyst for the plot mid-way through the film.

8MM takes a slow moving plot and shifts into high gear in the third and fourth act. The movie is not without comical flaws, and over reaction moments with Nic Cage, but there are some serious sick and twisted elements. In the hands of a “horror” director, this movie would have seriously taken a more macabre road. However, you get just enough tinges of serious shock to make this one more than just a thriller, and categorize it into a “scary” film. If you've seen it already, give it one more go with new eyes, and you might enjoy it more this time around.




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October 2012 Win the Hellraiser Box Set FREE

This month’s big prize for those of you that comment on here, subscribe to the rss feed, or talk about random crap on the Facebook page, is something that is going to make most salivate. This month you will win for FREE the Hellraiser Box Set complete with limited edition packaging!

This 3 disc set features the cube from the movies, and while it’s not the complete set of movies, it’s still one cool prize.

Comment throughout the month and see if you get this awesome prize from me, your pal Sir J.

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Thank you.

976-Evil 2 (1992) Review

Sometimes you have to look back to your own past to find movies to review, because there are just so many options out there. I have millions of choices, and I have to narrow down the selections each day, watch something, then write about it, and hope that someone out there will be inspired to purchase something from amazon or click an ad so that I can feed my hobby. Today, I picked a movie to review that reminded me of the old school rental shops. You know the ones, the one in your community that was run by the Asian guys, and they usually had a stack of vhs tapes behind them, all categorized by number. They let you rent whatever, age didn’t matter, and a lot of the times they would leave the porno section open for little kids to wander in and get an education in Snuff Film: Death On Camera
. I found this movie while in the horror section, often times called the “terror” section, and I thought it was a porno. The design of many horror vhs tapes, if you recall, often times resembled porn, and t hat was probably the intent so that people would rent the films. Man, I miss those days. The movie I’m reviewing today is a classic to me, maybe not to you, but it’s from 1992 and it’s a sequel to the Robert Englund directed film about a phone sex line from hell, it’s none other than 976-Evil 2!

The cool thing about this movie, at least the first thing that you get are boobs. You get a full-blown shower scene with a hot coed, and for those that are looking for that sort of thing, you get it up front. If you wanted to wack it before you got through the film’s main plot, the director hooks you up fast. There’s something different about nude scenes from the last 20 years and how the bodies have changed. Even porn, the bodies are all weird, but that’s neither here nor there, we’re talking about a gift to all the teenagers that picked this movie up and thought it was a porno, congrats, you have entered puberty! Ladies, I’m sorry.

The movie is an odd one, it doesn’t follow the original’s plot in a way, in fact it steals from the “Nightmare on Elm Street” series quite a bit. A college professor gets in trouble for trying to rape and kill a student, and he starts to get his powers by calling the evil 976 number. When he asks for his release, the number tells him that there is someone greater that will replace him, and he starts to panic. But before that manifestation occurs he goes on a killing spree from jail, he gets into the minds of his victims and then takes them out ala Freddy, only with no glove. The deaths are pretty cool, including good gore here and there. At one point a mack truck completely obliterates a guy into a million pieces, which is kind of a cool effect for 1992.

The rest of the film is your classic chase and run final girl type of movie. However, there is a secondary hero here, his name being Spike. He’s a perfect foil and antihero but he too is evil as we find out, and well, the final girl is not so final, well she kind of is as she lives.

The movie is interesting, funny, and a classic homage to the 1980s slasher films
that we love so much. The deaths are funny, the town doesn’t believe what’s going on, and the villain is super natural. There’s also a cool twist at the end, which could provide a nice entry point into a third film! This movie is everything you want from horror that doesn’t necessarily scar you to death. There are a few jump scenes, and the movie doesn’t take itself too seriously, but it’s a good one. I liked it. I recommend checking out 976-Evil 2 today! No, really, I do.



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3 Things Wrong With The Total Recall Remake

My girlfriend (Amanda) and I went to scope out the new Total Recall remake, since the previews made it seem like a worthwhile romp into the not so near future. The movie is set up quite like the original, only this time it’s trumped up to 11 in terms of realism, if you can call it that, compared to the old one. There are few old gags left in this film, and the Internet will most likely buzz about the three-breasted lady that appears in full nipple glory at one point. If a chance at seeing 3 breasts in full frontal glory is your main reason for living, this movie is going to be your final destination.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I usually like science fiction tales, but when there are blatant wrong points, you start to gather up your belongings as a fan and walk away. That’s how I felt about this one, even though it did have some entertaining moments, and I didn’t feel like it was a total waste of money. Considering the time frame, and how I saw it, I’ll have to preface this by saying that I fell asleep at one point, but that’s because the Hard Rock Café made me a sick drink that knocked me on my ass.

3 Things Wrong with Total Recall

Realism Overdone – The realism in this film is overdone, even for science fiction standards. Every little detail has to be drawn, produced, and shot on film. You get a sense of scale when the final sequences only amass to a small scope of a larger city. In the original, you didn’t feel this huge sense of scale, most likely because it was on Mars etc. This Earth story is interesting, but the immense and complex city structure made for a “who cares” moment when the climax hit full gear.

Villain Problems – When you cast the main villain to be the same guy from “Malcolm in the Middle” and “Breaking Bad” you get a bit of both sides coming through. I appreciated the villain to a certain extent, but he’s a wuss, and I mean that. You’ll see why when you watch the movie. Now, as for the opposite end of the spectrum, Kate Beckinsale can really kick some ass, and she proves it again here. I couldn’t believe how far they put her in the film, far more than Sharon Stone ever had in the original. The villain becomes superhuman at one point amidst a robot army that just seemed like overkill to me.

Light on Story – The story this time around takes the original and makes it even lighter. The story is so light that you spend a great amount of time in high-speed hovercraft chases and lots of reaction shots. This makes for a somewhat boring movie, especially if you don’t have something like Imax to make you feel like you’re dropping with the characters. It relies heavily on this cat and mouse thing that worked in the first film because of Arnold’s constant shifts from running to calmly moving forward to the main plot points. This has two or three plot points and then the rest of the film is running.

The movie is fast paced, holds your attention, but when it comes to the original, it’s forgettable at best. I’d still recommend it for a movie night with your main squeeze, it was worthwhile.

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The First Movie To Scare Me in a Long Time: S&Man

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that most movies don’t scare me anymore. In fact, it’s hard to find a movie that makes me cringe, or think that there’s something sinister about life in general. Well, I have finally found such a movie, and it is a documentary/mockumentary entitled S&Man. The movie is pronounced Sandman, and the director is J.T. Petty. I admit, I didn't expect a whole lot from this movie, as I never really expect a whole lot from straight to dvd looking movies, nor anything that I can get on netflix streaming that I haven't already heard of. But, today, I was bored, and finally finished a semester of grad school, so I decided to try my luck at something new, something sinister, something that wasn't necessarily in the mainstream, and here it is, a nifty documentary of sorts, and something that interests me greatly. For those of you that work from home, you know what the urges to watch others might feel like, especially if you're as fascinated by people, then this movie sheds light on something even further...and that's where things take a nasty turn.On the surface this movie is just a fascinating look into voyeurism and underground filmmaking. The underground movies are quite interesting, and they are true to life. There are real people making low budget, near snuff films that they sell at a variety of trade shows and beyond. The films that the movie refers to are worst than those that are put out by Troma and others. Although, if you ever saw “THE TAINT” then you know what bad can be made in terms of gore and sickness.

This film is straightforward documentary style and is not at all scary. Until the crew run into a very real looking voyeur that tracks women and kills them on film. The movies that he produces are sinister, and they are true to life stalker footage films with pseudo death at the end of each episode. The character played by a real actor really gets into your head, and by act 3 you’re starting to believe that there are stalkers out there that do this and trade tapes on a regular basis.

It’s sick. Then you realize that you’re not watching something real, and that’s when you start to examine why you watch horror to begin with, and what your limits are as a voyeur into the inappropriate world of scary film. I for one don’t have a limit, and have seen the worst of the worst, but this film made me think that there is something even more terrible. S&Man is a very fascinating film, it is truly terrifying when you start to realize that this really is a true to life subculture, even if the film doesn’t fit into only one genre. I recommend this film, it scared me in many ways, especially because of the opening statements by the director about his neighbor, the voyeur….next time you see a camera, you’ll start to think of the characters in this film, and what might be…and what isn’t really there.

I Know What You Did Last Summer and It was Full of Innuendo but no Boobs

In 1997 a movie came out that was so scary, so violent, that no one saw it and it sits on a shelf somewhere ready to die a lonesome death. However, in the mainstream horror field, a film starring up and coming Hollywood stars was getting ready to takeover the summer and made insane amounts of money. The name of that film is the subject of this review, “I Know What You Did Last Summer”. My high school friends and I were really excited to see this one, even though we were young and idiotic, because somewhere around the rumor mill we were told that Jennifer Love Hewitt was going to show her boobs in this one. Of course, the film was marketed right for us, with her boobs on camera making a nice contrast to the killing that would become the highlight of the film.

The plot of the movie was and is simple. The movie features a group of teenagers having fun and driving crazy through some back roads, and they run over a man on the road. They then dump the body in the ocean and promise to never ever speak of the situation again. Fast forward to a new point of interest and strange things are happening, alongside someone etching off each person that was at the event, dying at the hands of a fishhook. The fish hook killer goes one by one fighting off the teenagers and we are treated to death sequences that range from sinister to just idiotic.

The film hits every slasher genre button, complete with idiotic decisions, the dumb jocks, the final girl, and more. The mystery surrounding whom the villain is works well with this film, and when the end comes through, we are treated with a shock ending that really makes you antsy for a sequel. Too bad the sequels are just dumb.

For those that are looking to see Jennifer Love Hewitt’s breasts, too bad, they aren’t here. What about Sarah Michelle Gellar’s hot sexy body? Nope. Too bad, no dice. In fact, in this film you get little to no sexiness, just a lot of tease with Hewitt in some tight tops, but alas, no dice gentleman.

I Know What You Did Last Summer is a standard slasher film. The best thing here though, for those that like the movie industry, is that for 17 million dollars invested, the gross take was hundreds of millions of dollars! That’s right, triple digit hundreds of millions in return! So you better believe sequels were in order.