I’m usually up to par with all the latest and greatest horror movies that are released, but somehow along the way I missed this one. This movie is part of a series that comes out every year called “8 Films to Die For” which is a festival of horror. The movie is based on a true story that happened in 1989, and is an interesting story, until you realize that this has to be glorified since it’s a horror movie meant for entertainment, not a documentary of any kind. Borderland is a serious movie with another example of how tourists better beware when you’re not in your own country.
The movie doesn’t start like your traditional horror movie. It actually begins like a buddy cop film, with two detectives investigating what seems to be a haunted house. The two carefully move through the home until one of them is killed and decapitated. The other cop, known as Ulises, tries to fight back but is left to watch his partner tortured, which is one of the hardest gore scene I’ve seen in a long time. The horror here is unjustified and sick, and while the camera switches from POV to other points, this thing goes off the rails. Then the real story begins. (foreshadowing is great on this early set up)
The plot moves to three friends looking for a good time in Mexico and all things are going well until, well, you guessed it one of them falls for the wrong girl. He gets drunk and gets kidnapped into a weird cult where they sacrifice human beings! His friends chase after him, and after some insane moments, we get thrown into a hell of a movie that resembles “Hostel” in many ways. The brutality moves up and up until it’s at an all out war between the captured and the cult. When things don’t pan out well for the captured, the cult goes in for the kill.
By the time the friends show up, things are all over. The movie moves into a revenge plot, which is extreme. If you’re a fan of exploitation film from the 1970s here is where you’re going to start cheering. There is an awesome return, and things go over quite well, but not before we get to see some more brutality.
Borderland is a great horror flick, featuring a lot of brutal moments, some nifty story features, and good acting. I am a sucker for anything Rider Strong is in, so this was like watching Cabin Fever all over again. The star of “Rudy” is also in this one, so watch out for him, acting insane and making a go for the jugular. I highly recommend Borderland; it’s a horror film worth your time and is filled with lots of gore and violence, just right up your alley, or mine or whatever.
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Maybe I’m just late on finding out the news, or maybe I knew all along and didn’t want to say anything because I’m a jerk sometimes, but did you know that Stephen King had a literary son? Well, physically too, Stephen King has a son that is also a writer. However, instead of resting on his father’s name, he used a pen name to write his books and before you know it, the media is out and everyone knows.
If you aren’t familiar with the name Joe Hill, well you better get yourself familiar with his work. He is the biological son of Stephen King and his long time wife, and they raised quite the chip off the old macabre block. Other than his work on the comic book series “Locke & Key”, Hill wrote 3 acclaimed horror novels, and is working on another to be released in 2013.
I thought with all the Stephen King stuff I was writing lately, I might as well mentioned junior. The following are two novels that you should pick up today, and support this blog by doing some shopping.
Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill $10.19 Click here – This book haunts all the rockers that dare to read it. The premise of an aging rock star and his final collection piece, the dead man’s suit with the spirit of that which it belonged to, much like you might find in these modern times online. The premise sets up a nice haunting story that is deep in macabre after a set up that is not too unlike what you might consider someone like Rob Zombie to be. However, this doesn’t just sit well on the laurels of his father, he punches you in the gut late in the game and makes you understand that Joe Hill is all on his own and the taste of horror is not just subtle, it’s blatantly obvious.
Horns by Joe Hill $10.40 Click here – What if you had one of the wildest nights ever, and woke up with horns? What would you do? That’s the premise of this third novel from Joe Hill in which a man wakes up from debauchery and has to deal with what is going on in and outside of his head. A rare mix of comedy and horror makes this a romp worth checking out.
I know, this site is “Scary Film” review, but I thought it was appropriate to talk about Joe Hill for a moment before I got back on the movie train. I would like to ask anyone that uses amazon to patronize our links so that I can continue to pay for the lights to be on, and what not. If not, that’s ok, I’ll make it somehow.
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I’m not a big fan of romantic comedies, I just am not fit to watch a lot of those cheesy films where the boy meets the girl and the two fall in some sort of weird love and hooray, all is well with the world. However, that’s how the world was first introduced to one of the stars of today’s review, and his name is none other than Hugh Grant. The guy has been the main character in more romantic comedies than most other performers at this point in their career, but people also forget that before he was relegated to romantic comedy, he did dabble in a bit of horror. This thriller/scary movie was made in 1996 and based on a novel and it isn’t as bad as you might think. Today we will try to talk about Extreme Measures, the mid 90s classic.
The story’s main element relies heavily on the premise of a doctor conducting extreme experiments on homeless people that are going to die in the hospital. Instead of having them parish, a rogue doctor uses them to figure out how to cure certain diseases that affect the spine. So far, he hasn’t been able to succeed and much of his experiments have been proven disastrous. When Hugh Grant’s character gets a hold of what’s going on he wants it to stop, but you know that can’t happen, right?
Gene Hackman plays the rogue doctor and he has slipped by getting caught several times, and tries to convince the new doctor that what he is doing is finding a cure for paralysis, which would change the course of the future. When a rogue FBI agent gets involved, the two doctors fight for what they believe all the way into the last sequence in which the movie turns from horror/thriller into police drama.
Extreme Measures takes a horror premise, like that of Frankenstein and then turns it into a morality play more than anything else. Hugh Grant shows his range and Hackman is dead on with his stance on the matter of finding a cure at all costs. There are some sick and gorey moments in this film, with a taste of horror overall but you never truly feel like Hackman’s character is going to win out. The movie is fast paced and has more thrill than scare, but still fits firmly amidst the scary movie genre. If you want to scare yourself, just think about “what if”, and you’ll start to realize that these things could and are happening right under your nose.
This month starts with a bit of torture porn. Despite the fact that I absolutely hate the term, there’s not much else I can say about the beginning of this film, besides that. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love kink, but the term torture porn is NOT anything to do with the horror genre, and here I am using it to intro this review. I’m a bad writer, that’s for sure. We start this month (a little late, mind you) with a film that most people haven’t seen yet, and more people don’t care about. The movie is titled The Shrine.
This film opens up with a guy getting his head caved in by what appears to be druids. We then flash forward to a newsroom and photographer whom become the crux of the story. A group of friends travel across the world to find out why a journalist is missing, and along the way they find out that there is something sinister going on, and that a shrine/church could be responsible.
The majority of the film is a mix between exorcism movies that have come out recently, and Euro trash films that are made to scare tourists. The movie really takes a lot of liberties with the genres, and at times slows down to a snail pace. By the time the viewer catches up with everything that is going on, it’s gone on too long and you start to realize that there is a role reversal afoot.
If you have been following my website for some time, you know that I love exploitation cinema, and of course the genre of Nunsploitation. When the two meet it is a marvelous thing, and when the modern era of movies seem to appoint themselves to making another film with the premise of revenge, nudity, and more, I’m in. That’s why I had to jump at the chance to see the film Nude Nuns with Big Guns. Now, before I move forward, I must say that this film is not for everyone. There is a lot of nudity, a lot of violence, and several, well, rape scenes for lack of a better turn. If you’re offended by the nunsploitation genre, this one is going to really make you mad as they do a lot of piss you off.
The film is about a nun that is abused and beat up by priests that are working in the drug trade. When she is nearly killed in a trade, she is placed in the hands of a brothel and is pimped out and drugged. Take the ideas that you usually get with these types of movies, and put in a “nun” and you have the premise and beginning quite easily met. When she escapes, with the help of one of her captor’s helpers, she begins a rampage of killing all the members of the Catholic Church that did her wrong. But she doesn’t just do that, she makes sure to have a little lesbian sex with another nun that she’s sweet on.
She takes her mission from God seriously, and we get to see several stages of throw down with some sick weapons. Anyone that is involved with the biker gang that the church is trading with, and priests all get it. There isn’t much more to t his film than blasting bullets, nude scenes, and references to the Lord. It’s really a twisted romp through the world of revenge cinema with the guise of nuns and boy are they hot. If you’re into this genre, this is going to be met with open arms, otherwise, I wouldn’t recommend watching this film. The film is really harsh, features a lot of sick and twisted moments, and is right up the alley of horror fans that already like the genre. This is a perfect companion to any type of grindhouse film fest you’re throwing. I loved Nude Nuns with Big Guns, even though it wasn’t the right choice for a “date’ night at all.
I like Kevin Smith, but I wasn’t so sure about his plans to make another film, this time ditching the notion of comedy and going for horror. His film wasn’t exactly going to break ground, as the details started to roll out, and when it was finally time to see it, I knew I wasn’t going to like it. Red State finally came out to a variety of venues, and mostly online and dvd. The famed director did a lot to promote his film and auctioned it off to himself, and even ranted and raved about the industry as a whole, then he threw a wrench into the machine of the Hollywood pictures game….and in my opinion, losing. Not many cared about this film, and those that saw it were split in regards to reviewing the film, I will try my best to talk about this one, but I tell you, it’s not my favorite.
The film is about a cult in a small town, and juxtaposes their insanity with a small town group of youth trying to get laid. When things go awry for a group of teens trying to get some action, the movie goes into high gear and involves some more heavy-handed cinema that you don’t always see with these types of films. As the film continues, and the craziness of the cult starts to rise to epic levels, a shootout ensues with authorities and church parishioners. At one point one of the kids is nailed to a cross, or rather they try, and at another moment bloody fights happen with gunplay being at the helm of the direction of the film.
There are several ups and downs in this movie, one minute playing to Kevin Smith’s old comedic roles, albeit unintentionally, and then moving to something far more serious for ware. I got tired of seeing the problems continually arise with logic, then somehow resolve themselves with a quick flip of the proverbial switch. The ending was interesting, seeing our antagonist in jail, but it wasn’t the most satisfying.
Red State was marketed as a horror/thriller, but it really left me bored and wondering when I could see Dante and Randal get back to the silver screen. Clerks 3 would be nice, because this film and Cop Out were terrible. I don’t recommend this at all.
I always get fooled into getting horror movies that have cool covers. Once again, I was fooled into getting one all based on the cover. This time around, I’m going to try and talk about Camp Hell, even though it wasn’t anything like the cover made it out to be. The cover has a picture of Jesse Eisenberg from “Zombieland” fame, and it’s rather disturbing how much he is NOT in the film. This is classic post-Hollywood career marketing. It happens a lot in horror film re-releases. If you’re looking for more of that actor, you’ll get nothing for your trouble here, so stay away if the only basis of your viewing is in regards to this.
The film revolves around a community of Christian campers that are out in the woods. They are separated by male and female, and they are just enjoying the fun. That is until one of the campers starts having weird dreams, and then starts to see manifestations of satanic influence. As the movie progresses, our main character with the dreams has sex with a girl camper, and then all hell breaks loose. There is a sequence of demon possession, blood flowing from odd areas, and a nice little sewn up ending to boot.
If ever there was a way to make “Christian” horror movies, it’s this one. The majority of the film is a very “preachy” kind of cult film, that tries to manifest itself as right, then when the horror sets in, talks about how maybe it’s not for everyone. It’s a dichotomy that makes the tension work for the title. The film isn’t terrible, but it’s not that great either. There are some moments that are genuinely interesting, but with so many subplots, weird cameos, and lackluster production, the film suffers from bad pacing, too much going on, and lackluster results in the end. I’m not sure whether to cheer or to hate the characters, but one thing is for sure, Camp Hell is nothing more than a cash grab for the fame of the star of “Adventureland”. I don’t recommend this film, but then again, I don’t recommend much these days.
Not billed as a straight up horror movie, The Book of Eli has some incredible scary tones. There are some great horror messages here, and for those that aren't believers in the Bible or any "holy" book at all, a great representation of terror is displayed in this film.
First and foremost, I want to say that I am usually first to say that Denzel Washington appears to only know how to be a detective. However, he has made some stand out rolls where he doesn't just settle for being a hero on the side of the law, he has taken some fringe characters and made them work on a lot of different levels. That being said, he is the main reason that this movie works well, and his mannerisms and dialogue delivery make this movie quite good, if not scary at times.
The plot of the film seems simple at first. In a post apocalyptic world one man travels the globe holding on to the last printed bible. Along the way we see his journey from point A to point B but before he gets to his destination, we get treated to a visually stunning array of gore, graphic violence, and martial arts. Unlike Stephen Seagal's Horror movie, this movie has a great deal of quality martial arts action, with some great editing, and impressive stunt work. I read somewhere that Denzel Washington wanted to make the fighting authentic, so he trained in many forms of hand to hand combat, to make sure that the sequences were up to snuff and not too "simple" like those seen in say, "The Dark Knight" which has some of the worst fisticuffs in movie history.
You take the simple plot, and you do not add zombies, you don't add robots or vampires, and you got something. A scary notion that the world has gone to complete crap, and those that choose to travel end up dying, killing, and fighting. For about one hour and a half we get a visual feast that relies heavily on explosives, gun play, and much more to fill in an otherwise boring journey.
The horror elements require you to think a little, and for that, this film gets taken down a notch. I heard a lot of different reviews in podcast format hating this film because there's an underlying "Christian" message through it all. For religious types that are savvy enough to understand that the "light" doesn't require more "light" but it is the darkness that requires light, this film is the best example of what evangelism and film could be. However, for those that do not see the film as such, this film is a science fiction novelty with bits and pieces taken from a variety of "moral" sources.
I found myself enjoying this film on an intellectual level, which is rare when talking about most horror movies that I review for this blog. That's not to say that The Book of Eli is the greatest film, nor is it one of the most scary films I've seen. However, there are a great deal of scary moments in this film that are revealed with such subtlety that you might miss it if you blink. For instance, there are hero's here that are "blind" and powerful, and then there are villains here that seem to have it all, but then lose it, when something as simple as reading becomes what they long for.
I don't need to further explain this films great overall tones, and I don't want to spoil it for anyone. I loved how this film ramped up tension, with every plot point. As the film continued the film became far more than another post apocalyptic horror film, it became something that transcends genres. Then in the final act, completely throws everything out the window, leaving me second guessing everything I just said in regards to it.
Great horror film doesn't always have to involve entrails being ripped out of someone, or a super villain that keeps coming back from the grave. Great horror reflects on not only a visual urgency, it leaves you scared for the future, and the idea that you might live to see something so horrific, especially for those of us that believe in the Bible. The book ends with such a heavy handed "christian" message for me, that's hard for me to recommend this film to everyone. I see where the negatives will come into place, and I see where people are going to hate the "wtf" moments, but I think that this is one of the better films released in 2010, and I didn't really think I would end up liking it as much as I did.
The Book of Eli has flaws. There are visual problems, there are moments that I don't understand "why" this film was made or the choice of hero and villain. I'm not sure why it ended the way it did, but one thing is for sure, this is one scary film, especially when considering that post apocalyptic worlds seem to be the future...if you listen to the likes of Alex Jones. I believe I've said too much, but man, this film made the gears in my head spin, and unlike a lot of movies I've seen in 2010, this one takes the cake...at least until a Microsoft Zune was shown, and I broke out laughing.
I'm enjoying a break from things, so here's another rewind, while I watch some horror over the stupid holiday.
Former WCW Champion Bill Goldberg plays a killer Santa who’s back to kill the naughty. It’s awesome, and not meant to be scrutinized as a serious film, but it is a throwback to the 80’s slasher formula that many other movies really miss. Santa’s Slay is a great holiday horror film, and many people never even see it, such a shame.
The movie is about a couple of teens who uncover a mysterious story, told by one’s grandpa. Back a thousand years ago Santa Claus bet against an Angel with the loser being enslaved for a thousand years. Claus, in this story is the son of the devil, and plots to kill people once a year, and loses in this game, but 1000 years later (The present) he’s back in action to slay the naughty and anyone who stands in his way. So in the Township of Hell two brave teens must try to stop a killer Santa from destroying anyone and everyone he deems naughty.
The film is done nicely. The movie’s cameras and director plays a great role in pushing this movie to its limits. The picture is nice, and the overall quality is great. While this is a straight to dvd and/or made for television film it really is top notch. It is higher quality than a lot of other films that I’ve seen go straight to dvd. The angles, the effects, the make up, and all things movie related are right on point and look great for this type of film.
The death’s are well made and awesome. We’re talking about serial slaying with all sorts of Christmas and Holiday related toys and gadgets. The only thing missing is a Festivus pole, but then again, one might argue that the electricity in the strip club is a throwback to that idea from Seinfeld.
Goldberg’s one liners are great. They are all related to the Holiday’s and they are all on point in a raspy, scary voice. I’m a little bit of a fan since I was a wcw fan circa 1999 when Bill Goldberg was a major wrestling star. This movie goes out of its way to be halfway serious, until the final act, where everything is dismantled and this movie becomes another joke of a horror plot.
Why Santa’s Slay is scary: Taking the story of Santa Claus and making it a serial killing parable isn’t new. However, throwing the traditional into a scary and supernatural story is not bad. We all believe in something or nothing, and it all has to do with some sort of entity. Here we see the entity manifested in Biblical proportions, with the main characters being angels and/or the son of Satan. This is not too farfetched. Consider Mormonism for a moment. Mormonism has a belief that Jesus is the brother of Satan, that’s right, they are brothers, and millions upon millions of people believe that to be true. So the idea that Satan’s son could be Santa Claus can’t be too far off of an idea to spoof or borrow.
Consider also that the Fat Red Santa mythos wasn’t even invented until the 19th century sometime, by an artist rendering. It was also then more commercialized by the Coca Cola company and away we go to modern Santa Claus. This creates an interesting scenario of belief that makes some of the points in this movie sort of scary. What if it was all true?
What if? We deal in a world of what ifs. I know that it’s not a popular thing to believe, but consider the fact that many people in the world are waiting for economic collapse and are storing up food and supplies. Consider the millions of people that believe in God, and are waiting for the second coming of Christ. Consider even fringe beliefs of sorts, like the Ethiopian Orthodox church. They believe that they have the original Ark of the Covenant. That’s right, there are a lot of what ifs that people believe and are personally attached to, and that’s why this film is kind of scary at times. It pulls a quick punch in the direction of Santa, which is popularized once a year, and spins it on its axis into an evil association, which creates quite the contrived and impersonal setting for this horror movie.
This film is scary on the notions of a what if scenario. It can be argued that all movies in the horror genre are scary in the, what if, argument that I’m creating in this article. However, this one is meant to be tongue and cheek at times, and I can’t really see another way to explain why this movie could be scary. Most people won’t find this movie to scary as it deals a lot with the supernatural as a counterbalance to serial killings, but you might also argue that the vigilante justice that Santa is giving out in this film is not too unlike previous horror movie efforts such as “Christmas Evil” and “Silent Night Deadly Night”, but in the realms of horror it stands out on its overall pledge to keep things just below the radar in terms of horror. Sure it has horror elements, and sure it really hinges on a little supernatural belief, but if you strip away the nonsense, you get an enjoyable horror film with a lot of comedic moments and some silly deaths.
Santa’s Slay is the best movie I’ve seen in terms of Holiday Horror. There are a lot of bad movies out there, and this one is not one of them. It’s light, it’s funny, and if you allow yourself to ask a few what if questions, you’re in for a good holiday horror time. It’s not really meant to be treated as a nightmare, but it has enough of umph to get you through the yuletide mess we call holidays. Santa’s Slay is a harmless, yet powerful horror film, and I liked it a lot more than some other Holiday themed films, so I suggest a viewing of Santa’s Slay. If not a s a whole, then for the great opening sequences featuring some SNL alumni, some classic actors, and one hot former sitcom star….trust me. Santa’s Slay, if nothing else, is funny, and that’s kind of cool for a horror film.
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Thanks to my morning being filled with calls to Bank of America, fighting malware on sirjorge.com and venting my frustrations at the casket salesman blog, I have decided to get another blast from the past for today's update.
Enjoy.
Hellblazer, the epic comic book series from Vertigo comics, gets a full film translation in this Keanu Reeves’ science fiction horror film. Constantine is somewhat scary, but is more science fiction than true horror picture, but it does share some horrific scene’s and therefore it deserves a closer look.
Constantine follows an anti-hero by the name of John Constantine, he’s a supernatural exorcist of sorts, and is trapped between heaven and hell. The movie follows a story arc of a suicide and Constantine is called in to find out whether or not it is in fact true. Along the way we meet a slew of uncanny characters, and face death and hell.
Constantine features a lot of computer animation, but it’s done fairly well and is faithful in a lot of ways to the source material. The movie follows a good pacing between straight action and horror elements. The initial sequences of exorcism are definitely poignant in their creepiness. The fear in the eyes of what I can only assume are Latino immigrants seems genuine, and the effects and textures involved are top notch, creating a very surreal and horrific situation that rivals any of the “Exorcist” films. The demon in the mirror takes away from the dramatic scene, but up to that point it’s quite the frantic exorcism.
The trip to hell is another great piece of technical green screen work. Constantine’s trip to hell leaves him smoky and ridiculous. This part of the film is like reading Dante’s Inferno all over again, as your imagination can’t dream up this sort of thing easily.
Constantine differentiates himself from other comic book hero’s by drinking hard liquor, smoking cigarettes, and driven into deep depression. With the “hero” moniker give to him thanks to Vertigo Comics, he has a slew of cool weapons that help him combat the evil that passes through hell onto earth.
Constantine is not without its own faults. Keanu is not a glorious actor, and while I think he does a fine job portraying John Constantine, he isn’t that great in my opinion. The comic book character lends himself more to that of “Fight Club’s” Tyler Durden and even appears to look like Brad Pitt to me. The movie has some dry spots, and some of the action sequences are really stupid. There are some physics related problems that rival some other ghost movies like “White Noise” or “Pulse”. Shia LaBeouf is in this film and while I enjoy his work here, he’s not that great in this role and that might be due in large part to Keanu’s laid back portrayal of Constantine. It seems a bit more reserved than I would expect from the Comics, which show a little more emotion.
Why Constantine is Scary:Constantine is hard to categorize as a horror film. I admit, this isn’t straight forward horror, but it has horror elements. These elements deal with the supernatural more than physical slashing and killing. At this point I will talk about a couple of scary situations that come up in this film, and finish off with the overall bigger picture. So stay with me, as I’m sure I’ll go somewhere with this, sooner than later.
The message that is sent via Constantine, is that religion and religious leanings do not protect you from demonic oppression. We see this in bold with the Priest who tries to drink himself into a stupor to avoid seeing the demons that are attacking him. His cross does not help him at all, and he eventually is killed in a liquor store as the demon doesn’t allow him to drink any of the liquor he is grabbing at. For those of you out there that are religious, or believe that religion or spirituality can help you at all, this should scare you a little bit. It is unnerving to consider that even someone who is esteemed “holy” can not thwart demonic oppression. This is far worse than an exorcist who can not exorcise a demon, because possession doesn’t necessarily infringe on the body of the priest. I know I’m reaching here, but consider the thought. The scenario I speak of for this point is directly related to the liquor store death sequence of the priest who struggles through to his death and his precious alcohol can not save him this time. Is this to also say that alcoholism is not a crutch that can save you from death? Is there subliminal messages being sent through this scenario? No. Constantine chain smokes, drinks heavy liquor and is unharmed. Is this because he’s got a higher purpose? Maybe. However, that is too far away from the initial thought that I’m trying to send across, the focal point of my initial argument is that it is scary to consider that even after you pray, read your bible, and try to seek God, the oppression of demons or even hell can come upon you and end your life, regardless of your commitment. That folks, is a scary notion.
The second scary part of Constantine, is that there are people that can not go to heaven and are rejected by hell. Constantine’s back story isn’t explained too much in this film, and those that aren’t comic book readers won’t really understand why John Constantine is doing what he does. The subplot of the film aside, we are really looking at a bigger picture. Constantine is thwarting the possession of the “Spear of Destiny” from getting into the wrong hands. If the spear gets into the wrong hands, evil will dominate the Earth and bring on hell. I like that subtle and I do mean very subtle reference to Doom 2: Hell on Earth. I’m sure it was unintentional. Back to the scary part, what if you couldn’t go to heaven and couldn’t go to hell? Rather you were stuck in between, fighting evil in hopes of someday being allowed back into heaven, that my friends, sucks and is scary.
At this point, you are probably ready to throw in the towel on this. I don’t blame you. Seriously, I’m trying hard to get this seemingly harmless film into a better light than it gets. Most people pawn this film off as a horrible comic book adaptation. It’s not so, it’s actually quite faithful to the source material, it’s just a little over the top at times. I admit, this movie isn’t for everyone, but if you think about the things that are being proposed here, your imagination can create quite a big amount of fear. That fear is probably not on the forefront of viewers that are watching Constantine, but for the sake of this site I think that Constantine is a scary film.
However, the reason that it doesn’t get a lot of credit is because our society is so jaded on religious and horror themes that this films overall dark tone just becomes another piece of the ubiquitous nature of Christianity in America. I recommend Constantine as a good piece of science fiction with a religious tone, however, I don’t think it’s that great of a film. I think it is interesting on a lot of levels, if you are open to what it has to offer. However as a horror and/or science fiction film it is tough for many viewers. If you’re an avid comic book reader, maybe consider picking up Hellblazer Volume 1 and read some good adult comic book stories with some stellar artwork.
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In 2006 a remake of The Omen was made and was released on 6/6/06 which was scary, right? Not really. Unfortunately The Omen came and went and it wasn’t all that thrilling, although completely updated with all new contemporary style and film grain. I still think there is a creep value to the Omen Ramake, and it has some visual qualities that you can’t deny, but overall, it’s not nearly as creepy as the original, nor is it even on par with the lackluster sequels that made the film series a cult favorite; which is a shame if you ask me.
This film is interesting, at least in the way it starts. I really find the visual style is well done, and I find that there is a certain creepy factor about having a child surrounded by Catholism. The very beginnings of this film involve the Vatican, the pope, and the end of the world, slicing in images of what is to be the end of the world, and it is somewhat interesting to see, but if you’re not religiously inclined, you’ll most likely pass it off as something not really all that interesting. Here is where the visual qualities of the film trump a lot of other films in the horror genre.
The film goes through the same sort of motions that the original does, and we start to see the blossoming of the devil, Damien, or rather the son of the devil on earth. While most of the film deals with the beginnings, the second half starts to get really creepy as the story unfolds and the main character, Robert Thorn starts to figure out what is truly going on with his son.
One of the best parts of the film is the journey that Robert takes to meet with a scary monk that has been burned alive. The rowing of the boat, the snow that is being dropped, the fog, and the white robes makes for one of the most spooky and clever relationships between metaphor and visual sound you’ll see in horror. That doesn’t save the film, but I loved the way it looked.
As the movie continues, people start getting killed left and right as Damien wants to take over. As the scenes start to fade and the death toll rises, the film starts to erupt with a sense of “ending” and collapse, but the story doesn’t truly manifest until the very closing moments, where the camera, much like the original film captures a smiling evil boy, ready for the sequel to continue the story.
Is The Omen: 666 a Scary Film: No.
While I’m a Christian and I like to think that the devil incarnate will spark the end of the world, I don’t find this film too scary. It’s an interesting narrative, but it doesn’t fit the horror theme that the original held. I like how the visual style tried to tell a story, but it is nothing like Dario Argento’s work in terms of visual language.
While the soundtrack had some major key moments that can even rival The Dark Knight at times, it didn’t really make the film all that better to talk about or explore on a whole.
The Omen remake is ok at best, but it falls short of being as creepy as the first. It doesn’t deliver in terms of nudity, gore, or even pacing and leaves a lot to be desired. While I did find the visual language appealing, it’s really not something I’m going to recommended.
On a sidenote, I used to think Julia Stiles was hot. And this movie made me think something else, I guess that's what happens when you grow up.
I do admit, her bath tub scene was quite sexy, despite the creep factor involved.
The Nun is a supernatural horror film that is not too unlike many Japanese and Korean horror films of recent times. The movie has an interesting premise, and follows through with enough gusto to get you through a horror movie fix, but overall it falls flat, and really doesn’t make any major moves to change the genre of supernatural horror, revenge horror, and doesn’t even compare to nunsploitation, which is what I thought this film really was about. This 2005 film is a good example of Spanish horror films that you may have missed, and in many cases rightfully so, as this one isn’t the greatest of them all.
The movie starts off with a group of girls at a Catholic boarding school. They are victims of abuse by a nun, and later we find out more of the back story. In modern times those same girls are now being taken out one by one by a ghost, the ghost of the nun that they all helped kill! That’s right, they helped drown a nun and now she’s come back several years later to kill them off one by one.
Here is a trailer for the supernatural horror film The Nun:
The Nun is a bit more than a sci-fi channel production. It’s on par with many other imports that we have seen in previous Lionsgate media purchases. The movie features a wide array of characters, but they aren’t given enough time to develop properly, therefore, you don’t end up caring about these characters as they are punished for murdering a nun. The ghost sequences and overall scary moments are few and far between. However, they are done well. The jump scenes are there, you get silence to loud noises and sudden appearances by the ghost, and you get some great animation for such a low budget. Overall, the ghost is nice, and is superior to some of the modern remakes like “Mirrors” and others that seem to be skimping on the CG or doing it wrong somehow.
Is The Nun Scary? No.
The Nun isn’t really all that scary, and really is only going to satisfy diehard horror movie fans. As a film critic (I use that term loosely) I found the cinematography beautiful at times. When they drown Sister Ursula and she descends into a cold bath, in full nun gear, there is such a beauty to the sequences that you’d swear you’re watching a superior film.
The use of supernatural and physical religious tones, is spot on. The superstition of the Catholic faith is interesting to see here. I don’t think many people got that when this film came out, and I don’t think that the director was intentionally slapping the Catholic church in the face with the film. This is not something like “The Exorcist” or anything that should be touted as a real religious scare. However, as a former Catholic, I understand the superstition that the characters go through upon trying to figure out what is going on.
After the third act develops I had a fear that this film would somehow throw a wrench into the story and start a split personality thing…and once again I was right. The Identity Crisis in horror films starts up again and I really wanted to punch my screen. Sure it’s not as overt as some other instances, but man, it’s there and I hated that aspect.
The Nun is not a scary movie. It doesn’t change the shape of horror movies, it is not a great film. It has enough of a plot, enough scares, and a few moments of great effects (computer and other) to make this somewhat worth at least one or two views. I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone, The Nun is not going to win any awards soon, and it’s easily forgotten, but it has enough of a punch to keep you from falling asleep.
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Growing up the church I was going to would scare me by telling me that if I ever even opened the book of satan that I would be going to hell and damned forever. For a while I bought it hook line and sinker. However, I'm older now, and have gone through college and now I am a little smarter than my idiot 10 year old counterpart. So I have read the Book of Satan, and know all about Anton Levay and all the other cult leaders that have come and gone. I'm not really scared of them. However, there is a large number of the population that takes these things so serious that they won't even gaze upon the evil that lurks behind Channel X! Today we are going to review and try to understand a little piece of 70's cinema from Anton Levay called Satanis! So go get a hot beverage and sit down for a second and actually read a little about the Church of Satan....ooooh....scary.
Satanis: The Devil's Mass is a documentary film that was made in 1970 about none other than Anton Lavey. The video was part short film and part recruitment video for the Church of Satan and it is poorly done. It features interviews from Lavey, his followers, and intimate interiors of the church and ritual processes.
The film grain is understandable, this is 1970, but the editing is terrible and whoever was working the camera didn't seem to know what he was doing. We had some terrible movements and camera angles that were just intrusive more than documentary and really took you out of the picture, and that's not the intention, I'm sure.
The funniest part of this film, which I'm sure is unintentionally funny, is of Mormon missionaries talking about the Church of Satan. The reason why it is so funny to me is because the Church of Satan and the Church of Mormon have blood rituals that are similar in clothing, symbols and so much more. It's almost a parallel religion, only one influences a lot of culture while the other is comprised of goth kids, rejects and a few loose women.
The movie ends up being really boring and laughable at times, rather than scary or cult like. The people involved in the services don't even look like they want to be there, and outside of Lavey, this whole movie is just sad. The movie really doesn't go into the philosophy of the church or what the meanings of anything are, they just talk about random stuff and you start to feel that the idea for this film probably came after some drug usage or something, because there is no clear linear path being shown in this film.
The music is terrible. The credits for the music go to Anton Lavey, and that brings me to an interesting thought. Those of you that might be aware of "Satan" in regards to Christian doctrine, you might have heard that he was a "worship" leader in heaven. If that is the case, then why in the world does Anton Lavey (who is suppose to be closest to Satan) have the worst taste in music? Seriously, the sounds of the film really are terrible and dated even for 1970, and I'm not sure why anyone would like it. I mean, I've heard goth music, I've heard deicide and all sorts of "satanic" music, but Lavey's score in this film really is the worst thing I've heard in any film, ever.
There is an interview from a Christian priest, and he really puts the nail into the coffin of my review. He basically says that Lavey is only trying to seek attention in turn doing the opposite of Christianity. I argue that if Satanism is the opposite of Christianity, then you have to be an expert on Christian theology, practice, and beliefs or else how are you going to know how to be opposite? Therefore making this film the most unintentionally hilarious film I've ever seen.
Is Satanis Scary?: NO. This film is laughable. This film might have been scary to some Christians that misunderstood the Church of Satan and were afraid to talk to Lavey or even consider what his message truly was. I don't find this movie offensive, I just find it hilarious that so many people to this day are afraid of knowing anything about Satan, Satanis, Lavey and dare I even mention Marilyn Manson? Why can't we as people, believers and non believers stand up and stop being scared?
This film is hilarious, not scary. It is in the horror section of many movie stores, simply on the notion that Lavey was a scary dude, I mean millions are legitimately scared of "Satan". As a believer, I'm not scared. However, this film makes me laugh even more at the thought of someone trying to seek that "do what thou wilt" mentality, when it obviously only segregates you from everyone else, including your own people! Then again, Twilight was a huge hit, so maybe I'm wrong.
Watch Satanis on dvd, just for the fact that it is suppose to be the epitome of evil. It's not scary as much as it is gross, funny, and irrelevant today and probably forever. One thing that Satanis has going for it, is the fact that it is a documentary so the things you see are real. Now compare those to the horror movies we traditionally watch, and you'll see where a lot of directors got their ideas from.
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The poster and box cover associated with this film always bugged me. I never trusted it, it just didn't look good to me. But going back through the archives, I realized that this film needed a review and needed to be seen. So if you're an Dario Argento fan, you're going to love this, as it was written by him. I present for your reading displeasure, a review of the 1988 Michele Soavi directed film, The Church.
The Church revolves around a simple plot. A group of knights slaughter a village accused of being witches, only to be the center of a church building in the future. As people discover the grave site in the interior of the church, grave consequences happen and demons are unleashed. Things escalate into a frenzy as a rogue priest must come to save the day.
The movie starts off with a bit of Medieval Scenery, with knights moving in on a small village. The costumes and picture quality struck me immediately, and I thought it was a great touch in regards to the overall film. The director of photography made some great choices in regards to the look of the film. You really feel like you're in the dark ages with the way the opening sequences play out.
The treatment of the dead bodies is a bit unnerving. The bodies are taken on a large wooden plank and dumped into a large pit, and this portion is not for the easily startled. The make up and lighting make for a massive taboo in this film. You see a pile of naked bodies, no cg, in a pit being buried alive! This is a very unsettling sequence, and it's the beginning of the film!
The movie goes to the future/present day, inside an ordinary Catholic church. A writer finds a cross, and it breaks, revealing a deep cavern. Then it lights up release what appears to be evil spirits! The writer becomes possessed and begins haunting the church. Wait...the writer is also a librarian! Yeah..this film is a little weird,
The movie progresses and a tourist group gets stuck inside and now must fend off the ghosts of people long dead...but not before this film becomes completely weird. There is a scene in which a demon takes a woman and has sex with her, and you see this in full screen without crazy editing. I thought the sex scene with this griffin like demon was completely outlandish and weird. I didn't understand what they were trying to say with that, but I went with it for the sake of it.
There are some carefully placed gore situations. One man gets killed via a large drill, his entrails exploding into a mess of intestines and blood. These are done with such grace that you can see the master work of Argento's other films shine through. Sure this is 1988 but it still looks like Argento to me.
The film is touted as being the third of the Demons movies. It doesn't share a lot in common with those films, outside of the lead role being taken by an African American. One who DOES NOT get killed early on. He's also an African American Priest! Good stuff overall.
Is The Church scary?: Yes. This film is scary on a few notions. First and foremost the scary portions to me is that the movie pinpoints child molestation. In a scene with the librarian a young girl is nearly raped by him after he has become possessed by the demons that are unleashed from the burial site. This under the careful watch of the Church? No, it couldn't be....right? It's weird because in 1988 there were no major Catholic molestation scandals and thinking of that was outlandish. It might not be the intent of the movie, but I found it somewhat ironic that we have major scandal breaking twenty years later, when the film plays around with the notion as an evil thing. The scary part is that within the church there are predators, and whether or not they are possessed is not even the scariest part, the fact that it exists is scary. So be careful if you're a parent.
The second notion that scares me personally is the fact that in the supposed holiest of places, evil is there, waiting underneath. This is especially true in regards to hypocrisy and the church in general. There are a deep metaphors in this film that points fingers at judgmental, closed minded religious people, but it is done in such an over the top way that the metaphor is probably missed and not scary to people that aren't religious in any way. So the second point is hit or miss depending on your relationship with religion of any kind, and especially disheartening if you're an educated Catholic or Christian. They really drive the point home with the way the possession works out, as it is not like the Exorcist at all. It's more like the movie Gothic, if you recall. The demon in this film is hilarious at times, and can be misconstrued completely.
The Church isn't the fastest paced, gore filled, horror film fantasy that you might think of when considering Argento. Then again, his other films weren't exactly fast paced...but this movie is interesting from a lot of different angles. I really thought this film was interesting to note, and it was worth checking out. If the overdubbing doesn't kill you, the metaphorical sexual tension is going to drive you nuts. The Church is an interesting scary film, but it's not the greatest of all time or the end all Italian horror film. The atmosphere of this film is great, so maybe that's the reason to see this film.
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Former WCW Champion Bill Goldberg plays a killer Santa who’s back to kill the naughty. It’s awesome, and not meant to be scrutinized as a serious film, but it is a throwback to the 80’s slasher formula that many other movies really miss. Santa’s Slay is a great holiday horror film, and many people never even see it, such a shame.
The movie is about a couple of teens who uncover a mysterious story, told by one’s grandpa. Back a thousand years ago Santa Claus bet against an Angel with the loser being enslaved for a thousand years. Claus, in this story is the son of the devil, and plots to kill people once a year, and loses in this game, but 1000 years later (The present) he’s back in action to slay the naughty and anyone who stands in his way. So in the Township of Hell two brave teens must try to stop a killer Santa from destroying anyone and everyone he deems naughty.
The film is done nicely. The movie’s cameras and director plays a great role in pushing this movie to its limits. The picture is nice, and the overall quality is great. While this is a straight to dvd and/or made for television film it really is top notch. It is higher quality than a lot of other films that I’ve seen go straight to dvd. The angles, the effects, the make up, and all things movie related are right on point and look great for this type of film.
The death’s are well made and awesome. We’re talking about serial slaying with all sorts of Christmas and Holiday related toys and gadgets. The only thing missing is a Festivus pole, but then again, one might argue that the electricity in the strip club is a throwback to that idea from Seinfeld.
Goldberg’s one liners are great. They are all related to the Holiday’s and they are all on point in a raspy, scary voice. I’m a little bit of a fan since I was a wcw fan circa 1999 when Bill Goldberg was a major wrestling star. This movie goes out of its way to be halfway serious, until the final act, where everything is dismantled and this movie becomes another joke of a horror plot.
Why Santa’s Slay is scary: Taking the story of Santa Claus and making it a serial killing parable isn’t new. However, throwing the traditional into a scary and supernatural story is not bad. We all believe in something or nothing, and it all has to do with some sort of entity. Here we see the entity manifested in Biblical proportions, with the main characters being angels and/or the son of Satan. This is not too farfetched. Consider Mormonism for a moment. Mormonism has a belief that Jesus is the brother of Satan, that’s right, they are brothers, and millions upon millions of people believe that to be true. So the idea that Satan’s son could be Santa Claus can’t be too far off of an idea to spoof or borrow.
Consider also that the Fat Red Santa mythos wasn’t even invented until the 19th century sometime, by an artist rendering. It was also then more commercialized by the Coca Cola company and away we go to modern Santa Claus. This creates an interesting scenario of belief that makes some of the points in this movie sort of scary. What if it was all true?
What if? We deal in a world of what ifs. I know that it’s not a popular thing to believe, but consider the fact that many people in the world are waiting for economic collapse and are storing up food and supplies. Consider the millions of people that believe in God, and are waiting for the second coming of Christ. Consider even fringe beliefs of sorts, like the Ethiopian Orthodox church. They believe that they have the original Ark of the Covenant. That’s right, there are a lot of what ifs that people believe and are personally attached to, and that’s why this film is kind of scary at times. It pulls a quick punch in the direction of Santa, which is popularized once a year, and spins it on its axis into an evil association, which creates quite the contrived and impersonal setting for this horror movie.
This film is scary on the notions of a what if scenario. It can be argued that all movies in the horror genre are scary in the, what if, argument that I’m creating in this article. However, this one is meant to be tongue and cheek at times, and I can’t really see another way to explain why this movie could be scary. Most people won’t find this movie to scary as it deals a lot with the supernatural as a counterbalance to serial killings, but you might also argue that the vigilante justice that Santa is giving out in this film is not too unlike previous horror movie efforts such as “Christmas Evil” and “Silent Night Deadly Night”, but in the realms of horror it stands out on its overall pledge to keep things just below the radar in terms of horror. Sure it has horror elements, and sure it really hinges on a little supernatural belief, but if you strip away the nonsense, you get an enjoyable horror film with a lot of comedic moments and some silly deaths.
Santa’s Slay is the best movie I’ve seen in terms of Holiday Horror. There are a lot of bad movies out there, and this one is not one of them. It’s light, it’s funny, and if you allow yourself to ask a few what if questions, you’re in for a good holiday horror time. It’s not really meant to be treated as a nightmare, but it has enough of umph to get you through the yuletide mess we call holidays. Santa’s Slay is a harmless, yet powerful horror film, and I liked it a lot more than some other Holiday themed films, so I suggest a viewing of Santa’s Slay. If not a s a whole, then for the great opening sequences featuring some SNL alumni, some classic actors, and one hot former sitcom star….trust me. Santa’s Slay, if nothing else, is funny, and that’s kind of cool for a horror film.
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One of the worst things about horror are adaptations of Stephen King books, short stories, and novellas. No one really gets it right, and while I don’t think that there is a definitive greatest Stephen King movie list, I think that Silver Bullet is a strong contender for one of the better adaptations, even if I’m alone in thing this sort of thing. Stephen King’s Silver Bullet is a scary werewolf movie, even if you’re not a fan of the execution of this film.
The movie revolves around a small town, and a new string of murders that are plaguing the area. These murders are often covered up by the coroner and are never truly revealed as happenings of a Werewolf…until a kid discovers a deep dark secret, and then things go into high gear!
One of Gary Busey’s less psychotic roles, playing a good intentioned, unbelieving uncle (who happens to be an alcoholic), he actually looks young and sane. The rest of the cast play their roles well and I enjoyed it on an entertainment level. The initial set up takes some time to play out, however it isn’t really scary at first. We are introduced to the cast of characters with ease, as the murders play out as a back drop, you suspect a few people before the story turns on a dime and shows you who the culprit really is. I don’t know if you will catch it right away, but it is not exactly something that I was expecting, at least not the first time I saw it.
The main protagonist is bound to a wheelchair. One cool scene, that has nothing to do with horror, is that the kid gets an awesome upgrade thanks to his uncle. He gets this sweet looking, super wheel chair! That’s right, it’s awesome, and something that was most likely inspired by the imagination of a young child, rather than an adult, but then again, this film was made in the 80’s and these outlandish paleo-future ideas were the norm amongst Hollywood writers and director’s at the time. (Main example, Back to the Future and the hover-board)
The antagonist of this film is a werewolf, but who is the wolf? That’s the crux of these types of movies, and it’s not something that is done in movies often. Usually the occult is the vocal point of animalistic rage, or monster movies in general. If the occult is not named right away, it is implied through various sequences, and this film relies on a Judeo-Christian tinge to frighten viewers, and proclaim that people should watch out, lest wolves truly be in sheep’s clothing!
Just like in “The Howling” we get a combination of first person action and third person action. As a fan of video games, I really love the first person shots from the werewolf’s perspective where the hands are extended and the action is being followed through your television. It’s really a cryptic and weird camera perspective, and is done well for the time.
As far as its place in history, this film came out in 1985, meanwhile “The Howling” came out in 1981, and the camera angles and sequences seem stolen here. However, there aren’t a lot of scholars of horror that argue the intricacies of such a notion. Wes Craven’s “Cursed” and the Jack Nicholson movie “Wolf” also borrow subtle motions from the 1981 cult classic, but it can easily be said that they are all borrowing elements from MGM’s “The Wolf Man” from 1941 or dare I even say 1920’s? Or even the John Landis film “An American Werewolf in London”, which is regarded as one of the better werewolf movies since it was one of the first movies to film a long form transformation scene.
While on the topic of visuals, the formation of the silver bullet is done in quite the throwback to professional iron working, or maybe I’m just giving it too much credit. There are also great plays with the shadows as we see the main antagonist rise from beneath them, almost romanticizing the werewolf as a sexual predator, as we are seeing an abuse of power.
Why Silver Bullet is scary: Stephen King has been noted as being somewhat religious, and if not religious completely at least well versed in religious iconography and notion. In his novels he uses Christianity as the focal point to his villains madness (The Shining, The Stand, Misery), and in this film he really pushes the envelope to the extreme. The scary part of this film is not just the usual that no one believes the kid about the werewolves, but more over the fact that the most trusting person is the villain and the most obvious villain is not the villain!
Ok, let me settle down a little. Gary Busey plays a drunk. He shouldn’t be trusted, and he uses the drink as a crutch to somehow muster up enough courage to fight off the werewolf. However, the fight is not just his own, as Marty gets in on the action and we get a very exciting final fight of sorts. Seriously, the final fight is teased for so much of the film that when it finally goes down you get into it, if not initially, then definitely when Gary Busey gets thrown through a book shelf, creating a stand out point to get up and yell at your screen!
In regards to scary notions, this movie presents a Pastor as the villain. The Pastor is well trusted and the community is not quick to believe that he is doing anything wrong, let alone being a Werewolf. This is timely in many ways. We hear stories from victims of child abuse ranging from Catholic Priests to Youth Pastors, and that’s just religious sectors. Abuse is a sad thing, and this movie plays up the religious leader role to a tee, and if you’re reading into this a lot more than usual (like me) you’ll notice that this film sometimes parallels the notion that religious leaders are not only sometimes involved in criminal acts, but when accused, they aren’t always found guilty by the community or the leaders. I know, I’m reaching far for this one, but it seems to me that Stephen King has made a somewhat cautionary tale about abuse of power and how scary it is that those that we have trusted have caused so much pain our lives and the lives of others.
If that’s not scary, and it just seems too outlandish. Then the Cryptozoology aspect of the werewolf mythos is scary enough for you. Sure, I’m not exactly too scared about wolves coming to get me. However, we can all relate to the idea that sometimes the most trusted people screw you over the most.
I admit, Silver Bullet is not the greatest werewolf movie in the world. In fact, for some, Corey Haim’s over acting, Gary Busey’s under acting and Stephen King’s obvious jab at religious figures is just not the makings for a great horror film. Stephen King’s Silver Bullet offers a good enough thrill and scare for fans of Stephen King adaptations, but might be a little shallow in the true horror department. This movie is not gorey, doesn’t really have a lot of sexuality, and really swings the pendulum between disbelief between the notions of who is more righteous: the drunk uncle or the Baptist minister. I would recommend Silver Bullet to some fans, but not everyone is going to enjoy the obvious meddling with werewolf traditions and some blatant rip-offs of previous werewolf films like “The Howling”, but maybe I just like that film too much. I’m not sure.
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