The Toy Box Review

I wasn’t sure what to expect when Lynette recommended we watch The Toy Box. I was definitely not sure, but in my quest to see all things horror, I decided to check it out alongside her. “The Toy Box” came out in 2018 and it featured a variety stars but would eventually get released to VOD and some smaller theaters overall. I could see why, as it is not exactly the best filmed movie, but let’s explore it a little more before I give it a recommendation or a beware of viewer.

The movie has a simple plot. A family goes on an adventure with a RV that they purchased. Along the way however, they start to find that their RV is not all it seems. In fact, the windows won’t open, and it takes over the driving at one point. As it turns out, the RV is haunted! No joke, it is haunted, and it was previously owned by a serial killer, and his spirit resides inside of the thing. With that in mind, you’ll find that the movie mixes a lot of genres as the family starts getting killed one by one thanks to the RV overall. All sorts of things occur, but it’s isolated to the camper, and it’s interesting to see how things play out, but don’t expect much, as the gore is limited.

With limited gore, and overall limited production, you get a horror movie that isn’t that great, but isn’t horrible at all. I didn’t find that this was bad, but overall, I did think that it lacked something. I don’t know what it was, but it just lacked. The acting is not that great, it stars Mischa Barton and Denise Richards, whom both do an ok job with the script that they are given, but it is just so slim that you don’t really get a lot out of it.

One thing that I like in horror is the ability for characters to survive somehow, or to defeat the spirit or antagonist in a way. It bugs me when there is no out, and well, in this case there wasn’t much of an out at all. In fact, I found that this was a bleak, sad sack of a story, and eventually just ended without any recourse. I guess that’s how it goes sometimes, especially when it comes to horror movies.

Overall, “The Toy Box” is enjoyable on a smaller scale, but it definitely lacks something. It’s straight to DVD quality, and there are some moments that aren’t half bad, especially when the spirit shows itself as the serial killer, but other than that, it’s a lackluster romp that you can avoid unless you’re running out of horror movies to watch and just find this one. Collectors only, if you ask me.

Creep 2 Review

Creep 2 (2017) Poster 

You didn’t think I’d leave you all hanging through the New Year without first posting a new review, did you? Well, is there anyone still reading this blog? This thing has been alive and well for many years, and I’m still chasing the wind, so to speak. This time around, there are 3 actors that put on a show in this movie. However, Karan Soni isn’t in the movie for very long. The movie moves alongside Mark Duplass and Desiree Akhavan. The same premise that you got before is now here, only things aren’t going to smoothly for our main character, Josef. This time around, he is calling himself Aaron, and he invites a woman named Sara to his house to help do some videography. “Creep 2” pushes the boundaries of how comfortable you are going to be with someone, and really scares through a tension point that is absolutely stellar at times.

The plot of the movie is very much the same as you would expect from the previous release. This time around the villain admits he’s a serial killer, and is interviewed by the woman. However, things start to get weird as she turns to the camera and confesses that things are getting odd, and that Aaron is starting to become weirder and asking for odd things. The same progression happens that the other movie goes through, only this time, Sara isn’t afraid, doesn’t jump, and goes head first into the psychosis that Aaron presents, even turning the tables around and causing him to run for his life at times.

“Creep 2” slowly builds, and continues to build through 78 minutes of two characters trying to get the one up on each other. The movie is scary, but in a very familiar way, causing you to second guess what you’re watching. There’s several scenes that are bloody, or cause panic, and are quite alarming for this type of found footage movie. As the movie progresses, however, you get a serious twist, and some stellar framework, and nice push forward to breaking through what you expect from the film. It’s not what you think, until the very end, and right before it, actually. I would love to ruin it for you, but it’s a movie that requires patience, because it slowly burns down, and eventually breaks into sheer terror in the closing minutes.

With only 3 actors, and 2 of them carrying the film, you would think that you’d get bored. However, it carries well, and it builds on the first movie, without breaking down into a schlock fest, which is appreciated. Overall, this is one killer movie, and it’s different, yet feels similar too. It’s a good way to end the year if you haven’t seen a lot of horror movies, or you want something different.

I would suggest picking up “Creep 2” on DVD and seeing what the hype is about. It’s one of the better pieces of horror and suspense in the found footage genre. It works on so many levels.

Get Out Review

Get Out (2017) Poster

I heard a lot of great things about “Get Out”, but I don’t really go to the movies anymore. So I waited, and I waited, and finally caved in and got the blu ray edition of this movie. I was surprised by how many elements of horror are found in this film, yet it’s not really “horror” in the traditional sense. I was waiting for the horror elements to be amped up, but they never were. This is more of a thriller to me, but that’s just my opinion based on mulling this over a long time now. With that in mind, let’s take into consider what “Get Out” is, and isn’t, and what I feel about the movie after seeing it, digesting it, and really considering the hype that has this getting a 99 percent on rotten tomatoes right now.

Jordan Peele is known for his comedy, and this movie is not a comedy. The movie dives deeper into the issues of xenophobia than any other movie in the genre that I’ve seen in a while. In fact, you’re going to get hit hard with a racial element as Allison William’s character is taking her new boyfriend to meet her parents, and the family that lives in what I can only assume is a massive mansion. Well it is, but come on. Anyways, Chris Washington and Rose Armitage visit an all white community and it appears that Chris is the odd man out, having to put aside the notion that he’s not fitting in, cause he’s black. This comes through in a very specific manner that I’ve felt all of my life, even now in the Midwest. I’m distinctly Mexican, and feel the pressure of who I am whenever I’m surrounded by this type of situation.

The movie continues, with our main character finding out that people are getting hypnotized in a way, and the movie continues to reveal the sinister plot. Mix elements of “Parts: The Clonus Project”, “The Island”, and “Extreme Measures”, and you start to see where Peele may have found inspiration to create a racially divided movie. There are even a few nods to “Gattaca” if you reach hard enough, with an element of bio-engineering for good measure.

Where’s the gore? That’s what I was wondering as I watched this movie progress. Yes, it’s a tightening gyre of sorts, but the 103 minutes really is more of a cinematic treat, then it is a horror fueled masterpiece. The social commentary that underlines the movie’s key reveals, and points, alongside the third and final acts really pushes the boundaries of suspense and thriller genres, not horror. The lack of gore, and the placement of characters makes this a great follow through, but at the end of the day, it falls flat for me.

Is this a horror movie? Not really. It’s more of a thriller with some horror elements. The lack of gore is one thing, but there’s something else missing, and I can’t really put my finger on it. However, the movie is a good one, for what it is, and a surprisingly well paced, interesting movie that pushes a lot of buttons, but gives you a little too much “rose” at times. The comic relief was good though, and for that, I’m going to recommend this one. It’s a somewhat well balanced, interesting take on the genre, but it’s not as “horror” fueled as some may want to say. I could go deeper into this movie, but honestly, I don’t have much more to say than what many other better writers have already said. Visually it’s good, the plot moves swiftly, and it’s well edited, and thought out at times. I liked it, and perhaps that’s the most important aspect of this movie. "Get Out" has a nice punch, and a great idea, with less horror and more suspense and thriller elements than you can shake a fist at. It's like watching modern day "Twilight Zone" in some ways.

I give this movie a 4 out of 5 rating, and recommend it.

You can purchase “Get Out” on Blu Ray by clicking here.

Did you see “Get Out”? Did you like it? Drop me a line in the comments.

Blood Lake Review

Blood Lake here is NOT the porno

A while back I was told to check out Blood Lake. So I finally did. Well, was I surprised to find out that Blood Lake was a pornographic movie that was put out by WCA. If you’re into hardcore, perhaps this is for you, but alas, I was then redirected, as this is NOT the horror movie that I was supposed to watch. But hey, we all make mistakes, right?

The Asylum production studio put out what should be an instant classic with their science fiction, horror movie, that was in conjunction with Animal Planet, of all people. James Cullen Bressack is the director of this one, and it was released in 2014. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and honestly, can’t really say it’s terrible, but I can’t really say that it’s spectacular either.

The movie’s plot revolves around lampreys, which have mutated and are breeding like crazy. These are invading a small town and it’s up to animal control to stop it all. With a limited cast starring Shannen Doherty, Jason Brooks, Christopher Lloyd and others, this one is a shoe string, made for television horror movie with a lot of slow moving plot steps. By the time you get moving through the majority of the movie, you’re grateful to see anything go down.

The Twilight Zone Season 1 Blu Ray - On Sale here!

Pick Up The Twilight Zone Box Set by Clicking Here, and save up to 40% on the complete Blu Ray Edition of the series!

The computer graphics in this one are on par with what you’d expect from ScyFy, so I can’t really say much to that. The movie is ok, it is paced slowly, the cast goes through their lines with a semblance of ability, but honestly, it’s not grand. I tried to like this one, but more often, I was shut down by lackluster effects, non-sensical reactions, and attempts at gore.

As far as made for television horror movies, this is not a terrible movie. It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen. However, it is far from the best. I wouldn’t recommend Blood Lake from The Asylum, unless you’re a collector or horror movies, are a diehard fan of the actors, or stream it for free. It’s just not worthwhile, in my book. I won’t see it again.

You can always pick up Blood Lake on dvd by clicking here, if you so desire.

Amityville 3-D Review

The year was 1983 and Amityville as a franchise started on another release. This is the third in the series, and once again the haunted house became a mere parody of the original story, and book. The movie features the classic 3-D treatment, and even though you can’t really get the same effect today, you certainly see where it was meant to be in 3-D. Orion Pictures apparently only put out one of these things. Oh, and the Lutz family sued over the story here, and it was meant not to be a “sequel” or at least it couldn’t be marketed as such. Whatever the case is, this movie came out and it’s part of a larger legacy of the haunted house sect. “Amityville 3-D” is, well, not that grand.

The thing that stood out this time around, was the fact that Lori Loughlin and Meg Ryan are in the movie! They don’t get top billing, but they are in there. Meg Ryan, for whatever reasons reminded me of Amber Lynn, the porno star, and therefore I just kept wanting to see here show up on screen. I know, I’m weird. Other than these little elements where I would think about adult cinema history, this movie really tried my patience. It’s a slow moving romp for the most part. Tony Roberts does very well here, but the surrounding cast seems forced through the acting elements, and it’s just not a good movie.

Now, the death sequences are interesting, and there are some elements of 3-D that still stand out as a result of the production. The larger story, however, and the “gore” that you expect from the series doesn’t really come out. The house does seem to come alive as a writer and skeptic moves in. I liked the story of the debunking magazine, and liked the opening, but overall, the speed of the production really was a troublesome thing. It’s a boring movie at times, and while it does pick up at the end, most viewers most likely gave up on it. I did appreciate the pick up at the end, as things really started to get out of hand, and the “hell house” came alive.

Overall, “Amityville 3-D” is not the best in the franchise. However, there are a few cool camera tricks, and seeing a young Lori Loughlin and Meg Ryan is really cool. Other than that, this is one that you don’t necessarily need to see, unless you’re like me, and have to see everything horror at least once or twice, or in the case of this movie, 5 times.

Pick up “Amityville 3-D” on Blu Ray as part of a larger set, or something else by clicking here.

Alien Review

buy blu ray anthology here

Ever go on the movie ride at Disneyworld? It’s weird that amidst all of the movies that they have in there, some of them are horror related, and some of them are harder than others. For instance, they have a whole hallway with Alien on display. This movie is an iconic and oh so real space movie. Ok, it’s not realistic, but it could very well be the fate of those that are going to try and live on Mars and never come back. The movie was released in 1979 and it is directed by Ridley Scott, and stars none other than Sigourney Weaver as Ripley.

Fans of the NES game “Metroid” will liken many of the elements from the game to this movie. The movie as a whole stands the test of time in a lot of different ways. The plot is simple, but well played out. A deep sleep is shaken, the crew aboard a mining vessel in space wakes up and has to answer a distress call. It’s during the mission of helping someone else, that they realize they are messing with something that they’ve never seen before.

Aside from the iconic imagery that comes from the product of Alien, you have to think about the time frame. This movie was released in 1979, and during that point there wasn’t anything remotely close to a computer that could do a lot of the rendering that would get done in the next decade. Computer graphics were not available for this film, and therefore the effects are all done the classic way. Modeling, clay, latex, and a lot of other tricks of the trade were employed and you can’t even tell that they aren’t modern.

Visual design aside, Ripley’s character is somewhat believable, tenacious and strong. Women complaining about how female roles are never really action packed, should shut up and munch on a hot dog for a moment while Sigourney Weaver rocks the silver screen. This is an impactful movie and Weaver does well here, vulnerable at times, strong at others, and all woman. I love it. Feminists would love it too, and any underlining text about sexuality and the beast and all that jazz can just shut down for at least a couple hours while I enjoy my moment in the proverbial sun and say that Ripley may be the best women’s horror movie character ever! BADASS! Mover over Lara Croft.

The production of Alien is something that film geeks really go nuts for, and it’s rightfully so, as you watch it over and over again. If ever there was a perfect science fiction tale, with horror elements to boot, this is it. It sparks the imagination like Wells, Lovecraft, Hitchcock, and many more would attest to. If you haven’t seen this, or if you don’t own it, there’s something wrong with your collection. Get the Alien box set here, and let’s not tell anyone that you haven’t checked it out. Idiot.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

The Purge Review

The premise that was brought with The Purge was incredible. The marketing and the ideas at first were insane, and showed a lot of footage of humanity being as awful as Raas Al Ghul said it was in Batman Begins. The idea of this movie is that all crime is legal for one full 12 hour period. That’s right, all is fair, including killing, stealing, and jaywalking. With that in mind, Rod Serling most likely was spinning in his grave, as this feels a lot like the twists and turns that would make The Twilight Zone a spectacular showcase of fear.

In fact, the whole marketing campaign felt like a lead in for one of the classic episodes from that show. If you recall them, they were all about how the suspension of crime would be handled. I didn't get to see it in theaters, but my sister did and she thought it was cool at first. She told me the ending sucked, but I didn't want to believe, and well, unfortunately, she was right for once. Just so you know, she's never right!

The Purge Starts Well Enough, But Falls Off A Cliff In The End

The start of this movie is classic, with an obvious twist that is coming and is revealed in the second act. It’s also there that we are introduced to a dilemma. A stranger shows up and then all hell breaks loose. Within the first and second act, death comes to an otherwise secure stronghold, as a security system salesman and his family are targeted for being nice to a homeless man.

This movie really starts to go off the rails in the third act, where the terrorizing group jumps and breaks through the secured home and starts to seriously cause havoc. You think everything has gone to hell and there is no hope, as each person is systematically picked off by the father (Ethan Hawke). The movie feels harder than any other movie I’ve seen in a long time. There are some dimwitted moments, but not before a lot of revenge happens. I’m sure gun nuts will love this, as it has self-defense written all over it.

The Purge is a good enough movie, through the first few acts. Then it starts to falter, and eventually comes to a halt with a twist ending that you see coming a mile away. I didn’t care for how it turned out, and really didn’t like the way it all gets sewn up in a way that a sequel is all but ready. It’s not a great movie, it has its faults, but I will say that this is not a soft movie. It’s hard, and it blows away the pg-13 crap that has been floating around the genre for some time.

I loved the premise, and I liked the way it began, but I can’t seem to find greatness in the ending. I didn’t like it, but I still think this is a strong horror, revenge flick. It reminds me of the Kevin Bacon movie where he gets revenge for the murder of his son. Perhaps The Purge on Blu Ray features better supplemental footage. Check that out and see if it’s worth your time.



Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Invasion of The Body Snatchers Review

The year was 1956, and before most of my constituents were born a movie was unleashed on the general public that would serve as a propaganda piece and illustration for communism, religious takeovers, and just about anything you wanted to portray as a dichotomy. Invasion of the Body Snatchers has some of the coolest posters in promotion of the film and has been remade time and time again. It’s one of the classics of horror, and it’s perhaps one that hasn’t aged very well at all. You know things are bad when you remember watching the movie in high school during History 101.

This edition of the film was directed by Don Siegel and it has some gripping moments. Kevin McCarthy and Dana Wynter do a fine job in Superscope here, but the pacing is just awful. It’s definitely not meant for our modern minds, or perhaps we’ve been replaced?

The plot is familiar to those that like horror and it is all about a community that has found that something has gone severely wrong with their loved ones. While investigate, a doctor takes note that something is in fact going on, and like a twist out of the Twilight Zone uncovers the fact that everyone is being replaced by creatures from another dimension. Pods are found and escape is futile.

The monsters are interesting on both sides of the coin here. The family members that are scared and the pod people as well. The pods are definitely a soap box of sorts, pushing the ideas and boundaries into political arenas but I like to think of this as nothing more than a science fiction classic.

Yes, it’s classic, and far from scary, but it’s an example or even a holding place for cinema of the past. We have come a long way, and despite my gripes with the pacing and the fact that it’s used as an educational tool in History/Humanities classes, it still holds up on the premise that you may never truly know that special someone in your life. Invasion of the Body Snatchers is not going to be watched over and over again in my house, and if it is, I know the aliens have taken over. Lord knows that the idiots have already taken over, but that’s another story for another time. I’m not sure what else to say, this is classic, this is a review, and this is me trying to keep the pirate ship afloat, so buy something already. Until next time, I’m going to write about kung fu on another site.



Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Black Sheep Review

Black Sheep is a movie that came out to a lot fanfare. In fact, I saw a lot of ads in horror publications small and large. I didn’t get around to watching it, until recently, which means that I’m far behind on my movie reviews. This came out in 2006, and it really is the best thing to come out of New Zealand since the last time I remember writing about a movie like this. I honestly, don’t remember.

The movie revolves around what you may think, killer sheep! That’s right, move over “Silence of the Lambs” here comes something that trumps you in a very annoying way. The movie is a classic tale of a young man that leaves his home for the big city, only to return to the farm and find out that something seriously wrong has occurred. In this time, Henry (main character) returns to a farm that he thought he would never come back. While he was gone his brother has been working on creating a Frankenstein of sorts, and it has gone all wrong.

Take the insanity of “Planet Terror” mix in sheep, and then throw a little Jaws in 3-D and you have a mix of movies and genres that completely obliterate your senses with pure terror. Black Sheep does a good job of punching you in the nuts, or ovaries, and doesn’t let go. It’s a fast moving horror film that doesn’t make sense, but most certainly combines shock value with incredibly stupid scenarios. Common sense gets completely trampled like a father getting a toy for his kid during a black Friday rush….I’m reaching here, my apologies.

All the classic foils that you would expect in horror are here, only done to a comedic level. From fart jokes, to insane zombie moments, you get everything you could want from a cheeseball horror movie and a little bit of levity to throw you off. By the time you realize that there is hope, something goes wrong yet again and you have our heroes fighting to save their dog, save the farm, and stop an onslaught of sheep.

Mary may have had a little lamb, but she didn’t expect this! I think the cheese has melted into my psyche by this point in the review. Overall Black Sheep is an insane movie, one with some slow moments, but it is ok, the frenetic pacing in the third act and the giant explosions that ensue from the same gag that “Beavis and Butthead Do America” had, is well worth your time. I liked it, it’s not my favorite, but it’s better than most foreign movies that I’ve seen in recent months. So check this out and see what the hype is about. It very well may be the best movie with Sheep in the title, that is not a porno.



Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Curse of Chucky Review

When they announced a new Chucky movie, I was definitely excited. Then I heard it got thrown into a nightmare world of movies. The ones that don’t end up getting a lot of fanfare at the theaters, and end up on dvd and streaming. I didn’t catch this on a streaming account, because I do not subscribe to the internet options. Instead, I had to wait for the real thing to arrive and I have to admit it caught me by surprise. This somewhat linear sequel jumps across a lot of the plots you’ve heard before, but lands somewhere in the lore of the world of Child’s Play. Remember, the original movie was NOT called Chucky, but rather a Christmas tale about a killer and a doll. Curse of Chucky pushes a lot of buttons, but may not be the excellent option that you remember.

In this movie you will find that a young woman and her mother are stalked by a killer doll. That doll is an updated version of our favorite friend, and I’m not a fan. The over polished look and feel was not great, but the movie does a good job in revealing why, but I won’t say more to that effect. Aside from that, the movie has our little buddy sounding a lot like Brad Dourif, because he’s in it! The movie moves forward with your traditional plot of murdering family members in a house, and you aren’t sure why.

By the third act you are revealed another backstory, and one that kind of makes sense. The buildup is tense, and right when you think this one is going to be over, it kicks off into overdrive. A woman in a wheelchair becomes our hero, and she is badass, until taking one hell of a spill, in which the doll we thought was real, isn’t real at all. Curse of Chucky plays with the emotions of longtime fans, and then drops them into a cornfield, and drives away. That may not make a lot of sense, because that’s how I feel about the movie. It tries too hard to make something new, when I already have 5 movies of remembering the characters.

Perhaps the best thing about the movie, and subsequently the worst thing about the movie is the ending that ties things together past, present, and future into a new world. One where the last movie is made insignificant, but then again, so what? Right?

Curse of Chucky is a far cry from the original Childs Play, but it’s not half bad. There are some logical moments, and a lesbian subplot that I swore needed boobs, but other than that, this isn’t half bad. I found it tense, and in the tradition of the original series, but with a new twist. I didn’t like the ending, nor did I really know where it was going, but overall, it’s a fun entry. One that I would probably see again, just not necessarily soon. Check it out, it’s kind of cool to see our little friend back in action.



Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

The 5 Best Damn Horror Movies For Christmas

In 2010, when I was still writing like a mad man and trying to get myself out of another bout with depression I wrote about the Top 5 Christmas horror movies, and it was received well enough. People thought I was wrong and people thought I was right. You could read that post right here, but today is not about the past it’s about the present and the future. It’s with that in mind that I’m going to drop a bomb today, and no I do not mean another bowel movement.

Today, for your consideration, like an episode of “Are You Afraid of the Dark” is none other than the best damn horror movies for Christmas. Of course these are not for children, and no they aren’t pornographic although Dracula XXX comes highly recommended by me and Ron Jeremy. I think he was in it, I haven't seen it in a long time, not that I'm advocating pornography directly.

So here you go, all 2 of you that still read this site, my picks for the best of the best. If you agree, disagree, or have some comments, let me know what's up.

5. Santa’s Slay

Bill Goldberg plays one hell of a character here. It doesn’t end very well and it takes on a laughable premise, but for the most part, this horror Christmas entry is one that is well worth looking at. I must also admit that the best bit of performance art was had by this former NFL and WCW powerhouse. His match with DDP at WCW’s Halloween Havoc in 1998 is still one of the most impressive feats of professional wrestling, fake or not, they danced in a very grand way. Now that I’ve lost my readers, I can say that this movie is one of the best examples of a movie that wasn’t meant for theaters and still manages to deliver a high production value. The gore is ramped up at times, and the opening sequence alone is star studded and brings out some fun. Santa’s Slay may not be a serious movie, but it most certainly delivers on the horror aspect. It’s fun, not scary, so don’t give me slack.

4. To All A Good Night

The 1970s were a hell of a time for movies. There seemed to be a willingness to be uncensored, and work with the ratings in a much harder way. There was also a great deal of creativity thrown to the box covers of videos. To All A Good Night is one of those movies that slips by a lot of people, but is worth scoping out. It is the story of a group of teenagers that are partying and are being slowly picked off by a maniac in a Santa Claus suit. Pretty basic, and quite a throwback, even if the pacing is a bit on the slow side. But hey, a killer Santa Claus nearly 10 years before the other famed one? Yep.The 1970s produced some sick movies, and this may not be the sickest of all the releases, but it is definitely a good one that many people move over in favor of Christmas Evil, Black Christmas, and even some older options that are just boring as ever.

3. Chopping Mall

Chopping Mall is insane. It has one of my favorite movie posters and really is one of the coolest concepts. A mall closes down and to protect the place, a killer robot is dispatched. This may not be a 100% Christmas tale, but it’s all about shopping or rather Chopping! It features an incredible head explosion before CG started to be everywhere. It’s a good entry into this list and one that is well worth your time to seek out. The next time you’re at the mall, just think about this movie and how you could be next! Remember the Simpsons episode? That was good. I remember the first time I saw this, it was a double feature for me with Sleepaway Camp. The horror movie video boxes were 100 times more intriguing than anything that is seen now. I am definitely a big fan of these things, and wax nostalgic about it too much, or not enough.

2. Gremlins

Horror comedy that isn’t scary? Well Gremlins pushes on a lot of comedic elements, but still maintains a good creep factor that gives you enough of a treat. This is not an all-out onslaught of the senses, and it is not a slasher, but the horror elements, hard drinking, smoking and more makes this one quite compelling. Gremlins fans will be upset that I didn’t put this at #1 but come on, it’s more comedy than it is straight laced horror, right? Whatever. A small town gets hit with crude Gremlins! What’s not to love? This movie is definitely the better of the two releases that bear the name Gremlins. Also, don't confuse this for Critters or Ghoulies. I love Ghoulies though, and remember that one time that they went to college? There's a lot of Critters movies too, they had cool posters.

1. Black Xmas (remake)

There are going to be a lot of people upset about this. No, Silent Night Deadly Night doesn’t get start treatment here. Why? Because Black Xmas came out swinging and completely obliterates the 5 movies that were just awful. The first one had a Santa Claus rape and murder sequence, so it loses on the premise of just being horrendous. Ok, it’s a favorite of mine, but still, this one ramps up the brutality, production, and sound design. A group of sorority girls get stalked by a psycho around Christmas. The ending is brutal as ever, and the sound design makes this one my top pick. It’s a good watch, and eliminates the need to watch many others. If you don't like this one, then it's most likely because it's too brutal. I admit, it  has some moments that will make you cringe, but like Wes Craven reminds, it's only a movie, it's only a movie.

There you have it, Scary Film Reviews best of Christmas. Oh and if you think I’m a hack, I spent 3 consecutive years reviewing only Holiday Horror movies in the month of December, so go back into the archives and see why they aren’t on this list here. Ok, I admit, I am a hack. Pick these up with the appropriate links below and help a brotha out, it’s Christmas!

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Bride of Chucky Review

I recall seeing this movie and the sequel in theaters a while ago, but I never sat down to review it, and therefore I am going to talk about it a bit. Today we will be dealing with the movie that brought back the doll of horror known as Chucky into the big screens and away from straight to dvd hell like so many others had to deal with. Bride of Chucky puts our little antihero in an interesting and sadistic realm with all the trimmings that you would expect from the classic horror franchise that started in the late 1980s. Gone are the slow moving plot points and lackluster scenarios and in comes a fast paced, black comedic horror film.

The movie looks great, and holds up quite well in the visuals department. Jennifer Tilly is quite the actress, and I couldn’t stop staring at her…..eyes. She has some assets that gets played up a lot here, and there are moments where some of you are just begging for a nip slip. But unlike the celebrity tabloids, the puppies are all covered up, even though they are bursting from her wardrobe at times. The cleavage is so much that one starts to wonder whether or not it ends up being a factor when she is playing poker in the World Series, but then again, it’s a matter of skill and not necessarily luck, right? I don’t know, I’m getting off topic.

The kills are brutal, but at times played up for comedic effect as Chucky is brought back by a former love. Chuck doesn’t like how he’s being treated so he kills his lover in a bathtub and gets her soul to get trapped in a doll and the two run amuck on a quest to find the original body of the soul so that they can get an amulet. This all moves along a road trip plot with two lovers that are the next serial murderers to gain fame for being a deadly couple.

Overall, Bride of Chucky is a guilty pleasure that is not really scary, but really does drum up some nostalgia here and there. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and does a lot to entertain, make fun, and present the whole series as one big joke. I like it, and found the inside jokes to be awesome, and the ending, well the ending is just another classic moment in horror history.

John Dies At The End Review

There are a lot of horror movies that come out on a regular basis and no one sees them. This is one of those many releases that no one cared to see in theaters, but alas the world of dvd and streaming can be glad to have another movie to watch and review. I myself finally caught this one, and after I wrote about the release of David Wong’s other book and of course this book as well, it’s about time. Clumsy sentences and bad reviews aside, I found myself watching this one in wonder, as it is truly an original take on a not so original genre, the horror one that is. John Dies at the End is the focus of this review, although I’m a bit tired from making less than minimum wage, applying at jobs that don’t call me back, and wondering where my life started to tailspin in terms of getting ahead in a career path. Heck, I have no career, who am I fooling?

The film is a complex and winding tale about a couple of friends that have found a drug that makes things come to life in a way that Hunter S. Thompson would be proud of. The whole movie weaves around a guy telling a reporter about what has happened to him in the past, and how he came in contact with this insane drug known simply as soy sauce. It is killing off anyone that comes in contact with it, but not before extreme hallucinations and other off setting problems happen.

Throughout the film gags of all types happen and you get to see a great deal of gore as well. In an effort to hasten the pace, you get a lot of intertwining elements, none of which seem to make sense and the whole pay off does a poor job with revealing what the hell is going on. I had more questions about the plot and where it was going than I usually do, and by the time things started to make a little sense, a giant eyeball was eating people. John Dies at The End is definitely a movie worth watching, however, it is not worth asking any questions because you will receive no major answers.

When it comes to finding original horror movies, this is definitely a good one, so make sure that you venture out and watch it, then try to figure out what is going on. The ending will come out of nowhere with an epilogue that is fitting, all things considered.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter Review

I was supposed to be working on Chemical Burn stuff, but their ROKU app decided to quit, and I haven’t had time to look into their screeners that were sent out, so I’ll have to settle for this update, or rather you will have to settle.

There are a series of novels that are essentially rewritten historical accounts of the lives of iconic people and places. This altered history happens to throw the 16th president into the role of a vampire hunter and while most people may not be so quick to say the premise works, the movie does a good job of making the basis for the novel, quite compelling to say the least. With that in mind, the following review is of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

The movie does a good job setting up the hero with the death of his mother at the hands of a vampire, than subsequently goes through some years of his training at the hands of another bloodsucker and the story starts to really move into a fast paced actioner, although it has horror elements. The movie plays more like an Asian cinema Kung Fu epic, but still maintains a certain sense of creep factor here and there. The muted and goldenrod filter on the cameras is a bit annoying, but otherwise, you get a full framework of what could have been a biopic done right. Of course the sensationalized action is something that probably never was a thing for Lincoln to deal with, but then again, his favorite sport was professional wrestling, so maybe he did see some action of this nature.

Overall the film has a good sense of humor about the whole thing, while maintaining serious tones for the slaying of vampires here and there. The slow motion is somewhat distracting and the constant computer graphics and design is not my favorite. However, the producers did a good enough job to get me to forget that and start thinking about whether or not some of the fight sequences were in fact possible. I had to remind myself that these things are NOT reality and are part of a horror-action movie, so maybe they did a good job after all.

Abraham Lincoln battled zombies before, he battled slavery, and most likely enjoyed some of Hulk Hogan’s favorite matches. (Seeing as though Hogan is sooo old, eh? Eh?) I liked this outing, even if it did have some slow motion fighting, but I liked it none the less. I thought it was interesting and it kept me awake, which is something that many other movies haven’t done in a long time. I’d suggest watching it and reading the book too.

Salem’s Lot by Stephen King Review

The year was 1975 and I was not even a zygote yet. I wasn’t a fathomable idea in the human mind, and therefore this book came out far before I was born. That’s not a bad thing, as I would learn about this book in 1988, when I was merely a child (5 years old). I didn’t read the book then, instead opting for other reading materials, mainly paperback books from the local library about ghouls and ghosts and goblins. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I read this one, and as far as a fantasy horror novel, it most certainly is an interesting one, especially since the characters have a little bit of a resemblance to the author himself, and notably so. Salem’s Lot by Stephen King is a different kind of vampire tale, one that teenage girls wouldn’t really scream about, and that’s probably why this best seller continues to gain sales and republishing time and time again.

The story is essentially a look at community and the relationship it has when outsiders come into a close knit area. Centering in Maine (of course), we meet an author that is going to be writing about a haunting, but ends up having to deal with more than meets the eye when he has to battle vampires that are taking over the area. The course of the novel finds Ben Mears and his wife fighting off the villains, and eventually taking out the head vampire in this modern Dracula inspired work.

Synopsis aside, Stephen King has stated many times that this was and is his favorite book. In fact, one Playboy article mentioned that he wanted to move forward with a sequel, and of course the movie rights were sold and we have two of those these days. Salem’s Lot is not too long, it has some filler, but overall has a great amount of action, and some terror laden moments leading up to a climax that you’d expect from vampire horror film today. Even though this is literature, you find yourself watching it all play out in your head, and that’s something that I’ve always admired about King’s story telling.

Sure, it’s not the most scholarly of books, but it has enough gusto to make me enjoy it and recommend it. You owe it to yourself to pick up this one, it’s well worth your time. Even if you just get the audio version of it, it’s far better than you probably remember. Pick it up by clicking below:

The Jaded Horror Movie Fan

Every get jaded on horror?

The same things happen a lot, the same decisions made and we’re supposed to just dig in. I am not a fanatic, I’m just one man with opinions on the genre that I grew up with it. My parents allowed me to start watching horror when I was a child and would often times leave me at home alone and to this day I find the genre to be quite interesting. There are a lot of complexities that are pointed out within the confines of this type of cinema, but there are moments when even the best horror movie doesn’t really hit home.

I’ve been struggling to find a connection with the movies that I’ve seen in recent years, and more often than not find myself falling asleep instead of paying attention. That doesn’t bode well for readers of this site that have been with me longer than my marriage lasted. I’m in a new relationship and things are going well, and with that comes a new set of responsibilities and ideas. I have been fortunate enough to be pushed a little to watch and review horror movies that I have mustered enough of an opinion to write about in recent weeks, but things are going to change yet again.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be adding more content as I have a new found love for horror movies that transcends understanding. Instead of negativity, I’ve found some positive things to denote in a lot of the movies that I have seen recently. Heck, Sinister was a slow moving opus, but you know what? It was creative and it had some good moments. With that in mind, I will be updating the site with all new content sooner than later. Just stay with me, as I move things around and get rid of the annoying background image that messes up my phone whenever I visit my own website.

3 Scary Movies That Will Keep You Guessing

When it comes to scary movies, you probably assume cheese or at jump scares. While that is a great proponent of many classics, that is not always the case when trying to find the best of the genre. When looking for the best, you will have to look a bit below the surface, and find horrific happenings in some of the more interesting of ideas. The following list will have you second guessing the genre of horror and will get you thinking about possibly watching again, for the first time. The list contains 3 scary movies that will keep you guessing until the very end.



Audition

What’s so crazy about a man that wants to meet a woman for the purpose of dating? At first glance this film is quite tame, until you start to get a closer look at what really is going on. There are several clues sewn throughout the film that will have you guessing, but not everything is fully explained. You will even get a second guess in the end, and you will be wrapped up exactly where Takashi Miike wants you to be. This film is one of the creepier movies you will find. There are moments of brutal terror that relies heavily on only the sound design, which is something you will not necessarily understand the first time you see it.



Frailty

What if God told you to kill the evil ones? Well, that premise is taken into some strange moments with this film. This is one of the gems that you will have to see to believe as there are some super natural elements, slasher, and horror themes that will definitely have you second guessing until the last moments. Is it real? Is it fake? What is really going on with this small town man and his two boys? Is it the devil? What is going on?! Frailty rocks hard and will send sheer horror up your spin.



Seven

David Fincher does something right, and it still has people guessing. Two detective have to solve a string of cases that are deeply rooted in the deadly sins of the Bible. Turn after turn the two get closer to solving the case until they figure it all out, but the villain is the one with the last laugh as he plays one hell of a trick on the police. If you were to make this a Batman film, it would beat out all incarnations of the character, because it is tightly wound and horrific all in the same.

For those that have seen all 3 of the preceding movies, you know exactly what it’s like to venture forth into movies that will keep you guessing, and for those that haven’t seen them, rent or buy these today, they will definitely be worth your time.

Sinister Review

There are a lot of movies that come out with the same premise as others, and this one seemed to have a similar idea going for it, although, it tried to make something new out of the trend of found footage horror movies. It’s with that in mind that we start to realize that the genre is not going anywhere, and while I may not love it, it is here to stay, much like the idea of torturous films after the “Saw” series came and went. With that in mind, enjoy the review of Sinister.

I wanted to see this movie when it came out initially, but as always, I wasn’t able to go for a variety of reasons. I tend not to have any money, and since no one that reads this site helps me out financially, it just isn’t possible for me to get entertained and write at the same time. It’s one or the other, and neither one pays. It’s that sort of reality that drives this movie, as we meet our hero, a struggling writer that moves into the house where a whole family is killed on a quest to write the best true crime book that he can. As he starts to connect the pieces of what really happened in the home, a manifestation starts to appear.

Much like other found footage movies, this one relies heavily on the premise that there was something supernatural on the other side of the film that caused the problems. In the end we get to see this demon of sorts and well, it’s highly predictable and laughable the way it ended. I didn’t like the way it turned out as it was a long and tedious romp through boredom to get to the final answer and to really understand what was going on.

Premise and boredom aside, Sinister does bring to light some very unique elements into the horror genre. There is the found footage thing, but the acting, and the urgency of the characters involved made you think twice about simply throwing in the towel for other entertainment choices. I found myself not only caring for the main characters but also wanting them to survive without a scratch. You know that wasn’t going to happen, and when you get the reveal, you feel a bit uneasy.

Overall, Sinister is an ok horror movie. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, unless they are diehard collectors. If you want to get it, it’s available on Blu Ray and other formats. Check it out, buy it on amazon and help a brotha out.

New Light on Scream 4

Scream 4 Poster

I changed my mind on the horror franchise.

The other night I decided to watch Scream 4 again, my previous thoughts on the movie were dry, and devoid any sort of spark. I was in a different place back then, financially better off, just starting to blossom as a grad student, and now look at me! I’m broke, beyond belief, and can’t even afford to keep the lights on in our home. Well, I take that back, they haven’t shut off our lights or other utilities, but it’s headed that way unless this site starts kicking in, so if you have a little bit of money drop me a line sirjorge at gmail dot com and help me literally keep the lights on, I wish that was a joke.

Scream 4 is one of the many movies that I wanted to see in theaters when it came out, but instead found myself sitting on a red painted curb smoking a clove cigarette. I wouldn’t say that I’m an addict, but I miss spending time smoking, it relaxed me. Why is it that such a terrible vice calmed my nerves? At least there’s other smoking options that do the same in these modern times, but that’s for another conversation. Back to the movie, I wanted to see this in person and never did. I finally rented it while I was living in Koreatown and a new relationship was blossoming after my divorce and things in the horror world seemed boring to me. That’s why my review of this film previously didn’t ring true to what I think now.

Suffice to say that I love this movie, far more than I do the original sequels. Now, don’t get me wrong, the original movie is awesome and showcased a revival for Wes Craven after making some cheese ball movies. Albeit, my favorite is still SHOCKER, even though I am alone in thinking that. I found this movie to be stellar on the second viewing and for a lot of different reasons, actually.

I Know That Actor!

That’s right, the actors on my first go around were not that recognizable, at least not the ones that were introduced for this movie. However, that’s not the case now, I definitely spotted people I knew, included TODD from that Canadian cult show about the book of pure evil, and many others. It was then that something started to click, and the popcorn started to pop. This movie is far more entertaining than I originally thought.

The overall movie is interesting on many different levels, with our main character coming back to town in order to sign and market a self-help book on how to get over traumatic events. We then get a struggling writer and now sheriff involved in trying to resurrect her career when serial slayings start to occur. That’s not before getting a lot of self aware rants and raves about the current landscape of horror. All in all the movie flows far better than the previous incarnations, and I absolutely was thrilled with the stellar moments, and even the not so hot moments where Craven decided to pull the camera away for dramatic effect.

All in all, Scream 4 is one of my favorite horror movies to come out in recent years, and that’s say a lot, because I am usually jaded about all of these things. But not today, even though I am a few months away from being homeless, with no career to speak of, I found that this movie let me stop thinking about thing for a few hours. It gets my recommendation, even though no one will agree…so I say. Drop me a line if you have thoughts on the mater, and please, donate by purchasing items through amazon or directly through paypal, I absolutely am in need right now, thank you.

A nod to European Horror

Here's another post from a guest. I've been battling sickness, writing a lot, starting a business, and just haven't had time to watch as much horror as I'd like to. I will return to a full schedule sooner than later, but until then, check this out.  

It’s a known fact that they sure know how to make movies that make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up over there on the old continent. For all the faithful horror fans out there- just the mere mention of names as Dario Argento or Guillermo del Toro, but the last decade has witnessed a lot of involvement from part of the Scandinavian, Russian and Serbian directors who’ve managed to offer some truly amazing titles that are surely to earn a permanent place in the Horror Hall of Fame. Let’s take a quick look at some of the most memorable ones.

Sauna (2008)

A very strong title born from the collaboration of Finland and the Czech Republic. The somber and depressing movie has a solid plot with a feasible background story, which is all the more painful as it deals with the horrors of war or, more precisely, the aftermath of these horrors and the way everything good in the human nature crumbles before the atrocities we are capable of committing.

Philosophy of a Knife (2008)

Written and directed by the promising Russian talent Andrey Iskanov, the movie follows the true story of the notorious Japanese Unit 731 - known for unbelievably brutal human experiments during WW2. The atrocities carried out in the infamous unit are far too horrendous to require extra video effects, which is something the Russian director was fully aware of. His movie is but a peak into the hellish nightmare that devoured thousands of men, women, children and infants.

Semum (2008)

A surprisingly original Turkish horror, despite the fact that it exploits a theme that we’ve seen one time too many. The effects are pretty decent for this kind of budget and the plot is as simple as it is effective. Allegedly the movie is based on the real-life events of Canan Karaca. Definitely worth checking out.

Let the Right One In (2008)

The movie is actually a remake of a previous one by director Tomas Alfredson. A different and quite unorthodox story about vampires, which is as eerie as it is endearing. Every minute of the film is brilliantly steeped in the characters’ emotions and the cinematographic and music are both beautiful.

Srpski Film / A Serbian Film (2010)

In case you have missed out on this one it’s time to make up for it. Serbia has single-handedly given to the world some of the best movies in the past several years and A Serbian Film is one of them. A brutally honest, disturbingly realistic visual experience - this movie is about as snuff as it’s ever going to get. As if the topics it deals with are not atrocious enough, the camera doesn’t shy away from the violence in a way that will make you sick to your stomach.