The Toy Box Review

I wasn’t sure what to expect when Lynette recommended we watch The Toy Box. I was definitely not sure, but in my quest to see all things horror, I decided to check it out alongside her. “The Toy Box” came out in 2018 and it featured a variety stars but would eventually get released to VOD and some smaller theaters overall. I could see why, as it is not exactly the best filmed movie, but let’s explore it a little more before I give it a recommendation or a beware of viewer.

The movie has a simple plot. A family goes on an adventure with a RV that they purchased. Along the way however, they start to find that their RV is not all it seems. In fact, the windows won’t open, and it takes over the driving at one point. As it turns out, the RV is haunted! No joke, it is haunted, and it was previously owned by a serial killer, and his spirit resides inside of the thing. With that in mind, you’ll find that the movie mixes a lot of genres as the family starts getting killed one by one thanks to the RV overall. All sorts of things occur, but it’s isolated to the camper, and it’s interesting to see how things play out, but don’t expect much, as the gore is limited.

With limited gore, and overall limited production, you get a horror movie that isn’t that great, but isn’t horrible at all. I didn’t find that this was bad, but overall, I did think that it lacked something. I don’t know what it was, but it just lacked. The acting is not that great, it stars Mischa Barton and Denise Richards, whom both do an ok job with the script that they are given, but it is just so slim that you don’t really get a lot out of it.

One thing that I like in horror is the ability for characters to survive somehow, or to defeat the spirit or antagonist in a way. It bugs me when there is no out, and well, in this case there wasn’t much of an out at all. In fact, I found that this was a bleak, sad sack of a story, and eventually just ended without any recourse. I guess that’s how it goes sometimes, especially when it comes to horror movies.

Overall, “The Toy Box” is enjoyable on a smaller scale, but it definitely lacks something. It’s straight to DVD quality, and there are some moments that aren’t half bad, especially when the spirit shows itself as the serial killer, but other than that, it’s a lackluster romp that you can avoid unless you’re running out of horror movies to watch and just find this one. Collectors only, if you ask me.

X Review

I wanted to see the movie “X” for quite some time. I first heard it was going to be in theaters, and for whatever reason I just never got around to seeing it. I then waited for it to be available for streaming, and finally got it, so that I can see the overall hyped up movie. The movie had a simple premise, and it followed through with it quite well, leaving nothing to the imagination, and it’s an interesting ride, albeit not one that I may want to revisit soon.

The movie is simple enough, a group of people set out to make an adult film on a farm that they rented and turned into a makeshift studio. They follow the protocols that you would expect, only they end up being thwarted by an elderly couple that is seriously creepy. The old couple find out what is going on and they don’t want that to occur, so instead of stopping production the old fashioned way, they do so with blood and guts.

Overall, the movie is shot well, it has decent cinematography and the acting isn’t horrendous. I found myself enjoying the movie for the most part, and there were definitely sequences that gave it a good measure of success in the scares department. There’s some limited gore too, and that’s definitely something to look out for with horror movies, and the likes.

The pacing was solid in this movie, leaving no dead air or boring spots, as the movie progresses. It does have a few jump scares, but it doesn’t rely heavily on those, and that’s something that I can appreciate overall. There’s a sense of homage to the film overall and you really do get this sort of feeling that the filmmakers are playing up to a smart audience. With that in mind, you don’t really get too deep with the characters, and they are taken out one by one.

“X” surprised me in a way. I thought it was going to be a bit more blatant in horror, and for some reason I just couldn’t get myself to want to watch it over again. It’s adequate, it has some gusto, and it definitely provides a good sense of dread, with great special effects that are modern and classic at the same time. I’d recommend seeing “X” for sure, but owning it, I don’t know, I’m on the fence about it still. 

Slumber Party Massacre 2 Review

Once again, I’m drawn to a movie with the poster in mind. I reviewed the original Slumber Party Massacre before, and I finally sit down to watch the sequel. The poster features a greaser with a drill guitar and it’s the ultimate weapon in slasher films if you ask me. The movie follows the events of the first, and you even get a little bit of a flash back to start things. We move forward with the final girl from the past, and we are moving forward to a new day, putting the past behind us. 

The plot of the movie seems simple enough, a group of teenagers have a sleepover, and are stalked by a greaser with a killer guitar, no pun intended. The movie is a slice from the 1980s and it shows, with musical queues that are very specific, and of course the wardrobe that screams the date out a bit. In a way you will have to put yourself back into the past, and watch this as someone who’s not living in modern times, but rather in the 1980s or 90s, as there are moments that throw you back into the era. 

The majority of the plot comes through with simplicity, pacing being fast, and going through the motions of setting up the rest of the film. Courtney, our main hero, starts having bad dreams and the killer shows up without much of a forewarning. As with many sequels, the killer shows up and terrorizes the group without much of a backstory, considering the first movie already did that. That way the slasher runs through and starts to cause a shake up for the teens. Of course cliches abound, including those that are having sex and get killed, and of course a wrench is thrown into things with the third act, as well as the final act. I won’t spoil the movie, but suffice to say there is a psychological twist to the movie that definitely makes me mad as a reviewer. Long time readers will know what I mean when they get to the end, knowing how much I loath certain aspects of horror. 

There is some insane rockabilly moments, including a song and dance that you're going to laugh at. There's a mix of horror, gore, comedy, and more, and honestly, I can appreciate that overall. The movie takes a few weird turns, and you can't take it too seriously. 

Visually the movie isn’t going to win any awards, it is straightforward, with some blood splatter here and there. It’s definitely a slasher flick, so you don’t have to worry about it being tame in that regard. It follows the original film trope with slashing, the guitar, and the evil greaser. It’s a fun movie that really doesn’t cause you think too much and honestly, what do you expect from a late 1980s slasher? I found it to be good, and definitely worth checking out as part of the series. The poster, however, is what really sold it for me, and will probably sell it for you too. It’s within that poster framework that makes this movie interesting for me, as I’m a sucker for a good poster. Check out “Slumber Party Massacre 2” on dvd while you can. 

The Loved Ones Review

A good revenge flick needs a hook. “The Loved Ones” did not have that initial hook, but it certainly carried itself away in the revenge horror category, albeit with a twist. The plot of the movie is simple, and ramps up heavy with gore, and more. The story simply puts you in a “what if” world, that is kind of scary to say the least, and then drives the point home. 

The plot of the film features a simple premise. A young woman asks a young man to the dance, and he declines. She gets mad, and instead of just blowing it off, she decides to seek out revenge by kidnapping him and forcing him into a somewhat deadly twist of events. 

This is an Australian horror movie, and it is fast paced. It starts swift, and continues to throw you through the revenge plot and fight to get out. You don’t have a lot of time to breathe, especially once our main hero is trapped and being held against his will. By the time you get through the first two acts, you are treated with a twist that definitely didn’t get broadcasted at first. I won’t reveal it, but it’s definitely something that I liked and thought was clever to say the least. 

The movie is shot well, it has some good overall direction, acting, and hits all the right buttons for a horror movie. The drawback may be the accents for some, but other than that, you’ll find that there are some cliché moments overall. “The Loved Ones” brings about a good sense of dread, revenge plot, and even feels like a grindhouse picture at times. You root for the hero, you jeer the villain, and you hope for the best, until you get more dread than you bargained for overall. In the end, this is a horror flick you want to check out, and possibly add it to your collection. 

House of Wax Review

For today’s horror movie, we are going back to 1953. A remake, but something that has been heralded as a classic by many people. Fans of Vincent Price are immediately going to perk up, because today we are going to be looking at “House of Wax”. The first ever 3D movie to come through in color, and something that has to be considered with the way the movie plays out. You’re going to notice the call outs to 3D in some of the film, and while I don’t have a 3D television or anything, it’s still somewhat noticeable. 

The plot of the film starts out fast, with a wax artist that learns his business partner plots to burn down the place to collect insurance money. As that goes down, the two fight, and things go horribly awry, with an explosive end to this plot starting line. Following that up, there are bodies disappearing from the morgue, and they start popping up in a new wax gallery, alongside a phantom looking dude stalking victims to murder and stock his new wax museum. This leads to quite the reveal in the third act, and of course a final confrontation as is the case for horror movies in general. 

The movie shows its age with a lack of gore, and a lack of horror elements that you get with modern movies. That is not to say that it’s bad, but you really have to set yourself up for something a bit more mild than you would today. That’s not to say that there aren’t horror themes in “House of Wax”,  but it definitely feels aged. To enjoy this movie, you have to set yourself up for the past, and set your expectations back some. If you approach this movie with the same kind of expectations that you would a modern horror movie, you’re going to be disappointed with the pacing, the features and the reveals that the movie has for you. 

While “House of Wax” has a good share of story telling, it definitely feels a bit slow at times. I didn’t like the pacing, but by the time I was getting tired of build, there would be a shocker, or a poignant effect to break up the slow and steady pacing. The final reveals are good, and you really get some shocking revelations with the course of the movie, even if they are predictable to modern audiences. Vincent Price shines in this movie, and definitely makes it a strong contender for a horror movie of the past. 

“House of Wax” shows its age in a lot of regards. However, you’re going to find that there are moments that are often used in modern movies too. The 3D is dated, but it’s cool to see a bit of history on the screen, and it’s definitely not a bad movie. In fact, I recommend it, horror buffs are going to want to see their roots, and Vincent Price is a classical actor in the horror genre and things of the macabre. 

Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker Review

In 2009, I reviewed the original four Silent Night, Deadly Night movies. I did not review the fifth one, however, and it wasn’t until today that I was able to sit down and review it. I saw it last night. “Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker” came out in 1991 and stars Mickey Rooney, of all people, and the poster art is kind of cool. The series at this point was a joke, and this movie doesn’t necessarily follow along with the rest of the movies, with the sole exception of a somewhat killer Santa at one point, but it’s short lived. 

The plot of the movie is a bit all over the place. We are introduced to Joe Petto (get it, eh, eh), and his son Pino (again, get it, eh, eh), and they are toy sellers. These will be the villains, but not at first, at first we get a kill with a crazy toy orb that suffocates the father of our lead kid. The kid says very little for the rest of the movie after that. In that regard, this pays homage to the first movie since there’s a death sequence in the first act. The movie goes along with Pino breaking into the home of the kid, setting up booby-trapped toys, and then moving along to worse. That’s the simplest way I can explain this plot, but even then, there’s so much in between that doesn’t push the plot forward, including a near pornographic sex scene with a babysitter. 

The pacing of this movie is horrible. I had to pause the film at one point because it seemed to be epicly long, but it was only 50 minutes in. Suffice to say that 50 minutes into this one, you’re not going to miss much, with the sole exception of introduction to characters. There’s a lot of downtime to set up the third act, and then the final act. 

Things go off the rails in “Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker” when Pino is discovered to have a secret, and changes the course of the movie completely. I won’t give away the twist, but that’s enough to spoil this movie I’m sure. It’s almost as though the writers threw their hands up and just went with a science fiction nod, more than a horror one, and well there are some awkward moments. I cannot express how awkward it is to see Pino dry humping a lady and calling her mommy, or maybe that’s it, the expression. Whatever the case may be, the final act goes off the rails and you are treated to the best part of the entire movie, which isn’t saying a whole lot as this thing really is slow. 

“Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker” is not going to be one of those movies you go back to a lot. The first film in the series is a classic, the second one is laughable, and then things really go bad with the sequels. The posters aren’t half bad, the movie does stick with you for the ending, I will give it that much credit. However, other than a few jump scares, some creepy toys, and a moment of a killer Santa, this movie is awful. I only recommend it for those that are wanting to complete the series, collect the dvds, or just want something in the Christmas Horror genre.  

The Green Inferno Review

Eli Roth really put himself on the map with his first few films, and then hit a wall when “The Green Inferno” came out. I don’t know why, but I feel like he didn’t do as much afterwards, but maybe that’s because his movies were all profitable and he wanted to do other things. I’m not a journalist, so I’m not going to dive too much into that, but instead focus on the task at hand, reviewing “The Green Inferno”. I heard about it previously, but didn’t really want to watch it as I was battling depression and didn’t really want to watch any horror movies for a while. That explains the gap on this blog, by the way. 

“The Green Inferno” has a simple plot, a group of college students aim to save the rainforest and run into more than they could handle. Well, not initially. They initially win, and there’s something kind of endearing about it, as they lock themselves up to a tree, get the bad guys on film, and celebrate on a private plane out of the jungle.

Until the plane’s engine blows and they get trapped in the jungles of Peru. 

The gore in “Green Inferno” is turned up, and it's not just from the cannibal element. The villagers are cannibals, and you immediately see the throwback to “Cannibal Holocaust” and other movies that were meant to scare you and gross you out all the same. Despite the gore, the pacing of this movie is really done well, and you never feel like you’re dulled into the next plot point overall. 

A straightforward plot meets you, the group gets lost in the jungle only to be found by a cannibalistic tribe, and they have to try to escape, if they can. That’s the break down to the twists and turns, and though you don’t know the individuals or their back story, you start to root for them as the tension builds with the turns that come along. There’s a clear cut villain here, and it isn’t just the cannibals, there’s a good bit of character modeling and acting, making this more fruitful than your average gorefest. 

“The Green Inferno” plays on a lot of fears, and it does so with gusto. There are moments where you swear the movie can’t get any more graphic, and there are times where the movie gives you a sense of hope, only to pull the rug. It’s a rollercoaster at times, and yet it eases you into the ending. It is a cannibal movie, but it has some wit, sense, and overall pacing that makes it far better than what you may think. It’s too easy to say that this is just another cannibal movie, especially the way it is shot, and the transitional pieces that lead you to start to cheer for the final girl. I’m not going to be watching this movie a lot, but I would definitely show it to someone new, a horror fan, and those that are tired of run of the mill slashers. This is a pretty good showcase of horror for the modern age. 

The Resort Review

I’m usually behind when it comes to the latest and greatest releases, but one recent option caught my eye because of the poster. They say never judge a book by the cover, and well, a good poster will get me to watch just about anything. That’s what happened with “The Resort” a movie that has akiller poster, and the one thing that drew me in. Now, I like movies like “A Perfect Getaway” and “The Ruins”, so I figured this was going to be along those lines. What I found instead was something that played more to a television romp than a full-length feature, and that’s not necessarily bad, but it’s far from good too.

The plot of “The Resort” is simple enough, a group of friends are traveling to an abandoned resort and want to see what paranormal elements are there. The search for the “half-faced girl” is in the plot as well, and it honestly features just a handful of people.

What should be a slam dunk, turns into a movie of privileged people walking around debating topics that are not critical to the plot. There’s a lot of this, so much so that you are left wondering if this is a horror movie at all. Things go off the rail in the third and fourth act, and the real horror comes through, but by that point the majority of the audience has thrown in the towel.

“The Resort” has pacing issues. It’s slow, and without a formidable amount of jump scares, you’re left asking why the plot works. There are moments when you’ll even ask yourself why things are happening, and why decisions are made the way they are. Heck, you’ll just throw the rule book out the window by the time the real horror comes through, and you’re left with a possession element.

If there’s anything to praise about this movie it’s the practical effects that are utilized in horror elements of the movie. They are not CGI from what I can tell, and that’s a plus in my book. However, getting to that aspect of the movie takes you a long time, and by that point you’re either in or you’re out. I was definitely on my way out, but I stuck with it, and it turned out to be ok at best. I don’t recommend “The Resort” but hey, if you’re a horror addict, you may want to pick up the dvd.

Halloween (2018) Review

Halloween (2018) Poster

I waited for this movie to settle in my guts, and well, I finally saw it.

I took my sister to see this movie in a nice theater in Culver City, California and what I found was a trope that was very much in tune with the original movie, although with a lot of elements that are just, normal, in many ways. This takes on the idea of a sequel to the original movie, and it’s a testament to how creative people are today at times, but it also feels like a safe entry into the movie world that features one, Michael Myers.

You get a lot of people coming back to the series in this movie, and the plot revolves around a break out from the insane asylum, as per usual, and Michael shows up to his old haunts to look for Laurie and her kid. We catch up with Laurie, her kid, and the revenge that is going to be waiting Myers, if he shows up, and he does.

To say that Halloween is “safe” is an understatement. Every nook and cranny of this movie is predictable. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t entertaining, but in the course of horror movie sequels and attempts to revive narratives, this does nothing for me. Sure, it has a lot of nostalgia with the way it’s filmed, with some of the slow moving, cut away death sequences, but it also throws some notes to all the rest of the world of Halloween, including Season of the Witch. It’s easy on the eyes, but in the third act, it starts to get a little boring, and by the time you get to the end, you realize that you’ve been swindled into seeing the same movie again, only updated a few decades.

This is a movie that features what you want, death, mayhem, and of course, a nod to the past, without changing the future. It’s a solid entry, and it works for what it is, but let’s not look at this with rose colored glasses, because it’s not that great. The performances are good, Jamie Lee Curtis is great, and the rest is good, but the story suffers from formulas that are nothing short of paint by numbers. I don’t recommend spending money on this one, but hey, it’s part of a larger framework, so I guess it works to a certain degree. I didn’t think it trumped the others, and I don’t think it’s the best horror movie I’ve seen this year, or any year for that matter.

I could definitely wait for Blu Ray on this one, it’s that underwhelming and overrated for me. This, of course, after reviewing more than 900 movies for this blog.

The Purge: Anarchy Review

Buy Purge Anarchy HERE

Look who is back to writing reviews about random horror tidbits. While I don’t have the time I used to have to write up a lot of different things in regards to horror, I still manage to catch a flick here and there. With that in mind, I went ahead and watched The Purge: Anarchy. This is perhaps one of the most talked about horror movies that I did not see when it came out. People were mixed upon the release, telling me that it either was ok or it was good. What you get here is a continuation of the original story, only this time, you are outside to see the mayhem.

The original Purge movie focused on a home invasion angle, not too unlike “The Collector” or “The Collection”. Those movies had some serious gusto, but it was the same idea that was mentioned in the Purge, with a few twists. Anyways, the marketing changed things up and you were given the notion of anarchy in the streets. This time, it was Downtown Los Angeles that was the framework starting point.

This movie mixes the notion of the original, with the concept of “Hostel”, and it works ok at first glance. But as the movie started to go through the motions, the viewer was introduced to something new, a new character that seemed very familiar. That character, as soon as I saw him, was none other than Frank Castle. That’s right, The Punisher! This movie, for all intents and purposes was nothing more than a Punisher movie to me. Even though the character did NOT have any affiliation with Marvel or the comic book world, that’s what you felt from the “Sergeant” that reuses people from mayhem.

As a horror movie, The Purge: Anarchy is not going to live up to the standards that most people have. If you’re used to slashers, gore, and monsters, this is not for you. This is more of a twisted tale, not too unlike what you’d expect from “The Outer Limits” or “The Twilight Zone”. Simple as that, this is an interesting movie with a lot of heart at times. It’s a frenetic, action movie, with horror movie marketing. So it’s not a horror movie straightway, but it does have horrific ideas.

I don’t recommend The Purge: Anarchy for horror fans. It’s not really that kind of movie. Yes, there are moments in time, but more than that, it’s a thriller or an action movie, as that’s really what you get. You get a lot of gunplay, running from foes, and random acts of evil, rather than that relentless scary element that makes this genre so interesting. It’s good, but not as great as the original, and definitely not going to win you over if you are expecting that home invasion tension that the first one had. It’s good, but not great, and well, it’s worth collecting if you love the first one, before the new one hits theaters later this year.

What do you think? If you liked it, let me know. I you hated it, let me know. If you didn't see it, then by all means pick it up on DVD by clicking here.

Unfriended Review

Every few years an innovative horror movie comes out. I thought that Unfriended had some clever marketing and it seemed to be different at first glance. However, as I started to watch the movie, I realized that it was a cheap parlor trick. Though there are some great elements of fear, it doesn’t seem like the type of narrative that deserves so much praise, albeit, there are some moments that had me second guessing.

The movie is simple enough, a girl’s suicide as a result of bullying comes back to haunt a group of friends. The friends all start out by chatting via Skype, and then slowly get killed off by a stranger. At first, I thought it was a real person. My wife said it was a ghost. I was holding on until the end hoping that the reveal was in fact a real person, and not just a ghost, but you take what you can get sometimes.

The movie is told through the screens of chat and Skype and nothing else. Everything is a matter of noise and talking, interaction, pixelation and more. There are red herrings thrown at you, there are moments of deviance, but overall it’s all a winding and narrow movie with a ghost element thrown in for good measure. It’s a short movie that really shouldn’t garner a sequel, but it is getting one.

Overall, Unfriended is my least new horror movie to come out in some time, but that’s not saying a lot. It’s got some cheap thrills here and there, and if you can keep track of all the typing and random elements, you’ll find that this is a movie that will be thought of as creative, but missing that horror element. I think the cinema element is missing. How this made it to the big screen is beyond me. I’d rather have narrative over just watching others chat and what not. That’s my two cents.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

8 Old School Chillers – Classic Horror Movie Line Up

One of the tropes of horror is the classical monster. The frights that come out of nowhere to shock us as children and young adults. I discovered horror at a young age, and many people I’ve spoken to have as well. That’s why this list was definitely on my mind for some time. This is a list of 8 old school chillers. These are classics, they go way back and they still have a sense of horror, even if you are used to the shaky cam footage movies that proliferate horror today. These are shockers, and still work well for new comers and older fans alike. If you find any of these movies appealing, pick them up via Amazon or the links I provide, thank you.

Island of Lost Souls (1932)

We start our list going way back. This is a movie adaptation of “The Island of Dr. Moreau”, but it has its own charm about it. It’s a classic science fiction movie in which an island is used to experiment on human beings. This one stars Leila Hyams, Bela Lugosi, and others. It’s a classic affair that features exactly what you’d expect from an older horror flick, but it’s the actors that make this one come alive. Lugosi here is great, even if you can only see him as Dracula in your mind.

Stranger on the Third Floor (1940)

Film noir doesn’t get nearly as much credit as it should. You should definitely take a look at how horror and noir mix into a very interesting format. In this one, you are treated to a story of mystery. Who is the stranger on the third floor? A reporter wants to know, and he’s got to deal with a variety of issues before he can figure out the puzzle. Peter Lorre stars, and definitely creeps you out in this haunting portrait of classic cinema.

Nosferatu (1922)

A true adaptation of the original vampire novel, this is a silent picture that is creepy as all hell. It uses a lot of light, shadow, and music to invoke the beauty of the novel from Bram Stoker. It’s a classic that some find boring, since it’s not updated or highly technical. It’s a silent move that is absolutely a thrill to watch, and if you grew up with this before you read the novel or you saw the many vampire movies that came out after, you still get a little nervous tingle when you see the vampire.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

This is another classic, and if you haven’t seen it, you really need to look at how it’s set up. The cinematic elements here are hands down some of the best. Robert Wiene does a brilliant job of making an expressionist horror film here. It’s got a lot of artistic elements and pushes the notions of horror cinema in such a unique fashion. It’s hard to really paint the proper picture here, but it’s definitely one of the best uses of light, shadow, and mystery in the silent film era.

Repulsion (1965)


Love him or hate him, Roman Polanski has a knack for creating atmosphere and horror through his movies. While this one is not quite like “Rosemary’s Baby”, it has some of the same signature moods and styles that Polanski is known for. Release in 1965, this is a move that really gets creepy as the plot focuses on memory, and trauma. The creep factor is turned up through the loneliness of apartment living, lighting, shadow, which really create a serious art piece here. If you haven’t seen this one in the “apartment trilogy”, you need to check it out. It went to be nominated for BAFTA Award.


The Red House (1947)

George Agnew Chamberlain published a novel of the same name a few years earlier, and it transformed into this classic. It’s labeled as a psychological thriller, but it’s definitely a straight laced horror movie if you look at it from today’s standards. Edward G. Robinson and Judith Anderson star in this one, as they portray characters that find terror in an abandoned home. What secrets are found in the house? Why is there screaming? Is murder afoot? You’ll have to check this one out to find out.

Cape Fear (1962)

Robert Mitchum and Gregory Peck make this movie come to life. Sure, Scorses remade it, but this is the real version you should be watching. This is a strong contender for the best book adaptation. James R. Webb’s novel gets transformed into a scary movie about a stalker. This movie is a tightening wire around the neck, and it really pulls you in with great acting, clever cinematography, and a performance from Mitchum that is well worth praise. If you haven’t seen this one, you owe it to yourself to check it out.

Psycho (1960)

Do I really need to explain this one? This is perhaps one of the best ever. The slasher genre owes everything to the way that this movie discard the main character within the first 20 minutes. Marion Crane stars up front, but it’s Anthony Perkins that makes this movie an insane one. It’s tightened well by Hitchcock, and it is one of the best horror movies ever made. It’s slow moving at first glance, and then, it shocks through sight, sound, and clever editing. It’s a classic, and it certainly lives up to the hype.

You can pick up these movies via Amazon if you’d like, click here, otherwise, find them, rent them, enjoy them!

The Purge Review

The premise that was brought with The Purge was incredible. The marketing and the ideas at first were insane, and showed a lot of footage of humanity being as awful as Raas Al Ghul said it was in Batman Begins. The idea of this movie is that all crime is legal for one full 12 hour period. That’s right, all is fair, including killing, stealing, and jaywalking. With that in mind, Rod Serling most likely was spinning in his grave, as this feels a lot like the twists and turns that would make The Twilight Zone a spectacular showcase of fear.

In fact, the whole marketing campaign felt like a lead in for one of the classic episodes from that show. If you recall them, they were all about how the suspension of crime would be handled. I didn't get to see it in theaters, but my sister did and she thought it was cool at first. She told me the ending sucked, but I didn't want to believe, and well, unfortunately, she was right for once. Just so you know, she's never right!

The Purge Starts Well Enough, But Falls Off A Cliff In The End

The start of this movie is classic, with an obvious twist that is coming and is revealed in the second act. It’s also there that we are introduced to a dilemma. A stranger shows up and then all hell breaks loose. Within the first and second act, death comes to an otherwise secure stronghold, as a security system salesman and his family are targeted for being nice to a homeless man.

This movie really starts to go off the rails in the third act, where the terrorizing group jumps and breaks through the secured home and starts to seriously cause havoc. You think everything has gone to hell and there is no hope, as each person is systematically picked off by the father (Ethan Hawke). The movie feels harder than any other movie I’ve seen in a long time. There are some dimwitted moments, but not before a lot of revenge happens. I’m sure gun nuts will love this, as it has self-defense written all over it.

The Purge is a good enough movie, through the first few acts. Then it starts to falter, and eventually comes to a halt with a twist ending that you see coming a mile away. I didn’t care for how it turned out, and really didn’t like the way it all gets sewn up in a way that a sequel is all but ready. It’s not a great movie, it has its faults, but I will say that this is not a soft movie. It’s hard, and it blows away the pg-13 crap that has been floating around the genre for some time.

I loved the premise, and I liked the way it began, but I can’t seem to find greatness in the ending. I didn’t like it, but I still think this is a strong horror, revenge flick. It reminds me of the Kevin Bacon movie where he gets revenge for the murder of his son. Perhaps The Purge on Blu Ray features better supplemental footage. Check that out and see if it’s worth your time.



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Invasion of The Body Snatchers Review

The year was 1956, and before most of my constituents were born a movie was unleashed on the general public that would serve as a propaganda piece and illustration for communism, religious takeovers, and just about anything you wanted to portray as a dichotomy. Invasion of the Body Snatchers has some of the coolest posters in promotion of the film and has been remade time and time again. It’s one of the classics of horror, and it’s perhaps one that hasn’t aged very well at all. You know things are bad when you remember watching the movie in high school during History 101.

This edition of the film was directed by Don Siegel and it has some gripping moments. Kevin McCarthy and Dana Wynter do a fine job in Superscope here, but the pacing is just awful. It’s definitely not meant for our modern minds, or perhaps we’ve been replaced?

The plot is familiar to those that like horror and it is all about a community that has found that something has gone severely wrong with their loved ones. While investigate, a doctor takes note that something is in fact going on, and like a twist out of the Twilight Zone uncovers the fact that everyone is being replaced by creatures from another dimension. Pods are found and escape is futile.

The monsters are interesting on both sides of the coin here. The family members that are scared and the pod people as well. The pods are definitely a soap box of sorts, pushing the ideas and boundaries into political arenas but I like to think of this as nothing more than a science fiction classic.

Yes, it’s classic, and far from scary, but it’s an example or even a holding place for cinema of the past. We have come a long way, and despite my gripes with the pacing and the fact that it’s used as an educational tool in History/Humanities classes, it still holds up on the premise that you may never truly know that special someone in your life. Invasion of the Body Snatchers is not going to be watched over and over again in my house, and if it is, I know the aliens have taken over. Lord knows that the idiots have already taken over, but that’s another story for another time. I’m not sure what else to say, this is classic, this is a review, and this is me trying to keep the pirate ship afloat, so buy something already. Until next time, I’m going to write about kung fu on another site.



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Black Sheep Review

Black Sheep is a movie that came out to a lot fanfare. In fact, I saw a lot of ads in horror publications small and large. I didn’t get around to watching it, until recently, which means that I’m far behind on my movie reviews. This came out in 2006, and it really is the best thing to come out of New Zealand since the last time I remember writing about a movie like this. I honestly, don’t remember.

The movie revolves around what you may think, killer sheep! That’s right, move over “Silence of the Lambs” here comes something that trumps you in a very annoying way. The movie is a classic tale of a young man that leaves his home for the big city, only to return to the farm and find out that something seriously wrong has occurred. In this time, Henry (main character) returns to a farm that he thought he would never come back. While he was gone his brother has been working on creating a Frankenstein of sorts, and it has gone all wrong.

Take the insanity of “Planet Terror” mix in sheep, and then throw a little Jaws in 3-D and you have a mix of movies and genres that completely obliterate your senses with pure terror. Black Sheep does a good job of punching you in the nuts, or ovaries, and doesn’t let go. It’s a fast moving horror film that doesn’t make sense, but most certainly combines shock value with incredibly stupid scenarios. Common sense gets completely trampled like a father getting a toy for his kid during a black Friday rush….I’m reaching here, my apologies.

All the classic foils that you would expect in horror are here, only done to a comedic level. From fart jokes, to insane zombie moments, you get everything you could want from a cheeseball horror movie and a little bit of levity to throw you off. By the time you realize that there is hope, something goes wrong yet again and you have our heroes fighting to save their dog, save the farm, and stop an onslaught of sheep.

Mary may have had a little lamb, but she didn’t expect this! I think the cheese has melted into my psyche by this point in the review. Overall Black Sheep is an insane movie, one with some slow moments, but it is ok, the frenetic pacing in the third act and the giant explosions that ensue from the same gag that “Beavis and Butthead Do America” had, is well worth your time. I liked it, it’s not my favorite, but it’s better than most foreign movies that I’ve seen in recent months. So check this out and see what the hype is about. It very well may be the best movie with Sheep in the title, that is not a porno.



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Curse of Chucky Review

When they announced a new Chucky movie, I was definitely excited. Then I heard it got thrown into a nightmare world of movies. The ones that don’t end up getting a lot of fanfare at the theaters, and end up on dvd and streaming. I didn’t catch this on a streaming account, because I do not subscribe to the internet options. Instead, I had to wait for the real thing to arrive and I have to admit it caught me by surprise. This somewhat linear sequel jumps across a lot of the plots you’ve heard before, but lands somewhere in the lore of the world of Child’s Play. Remember, the original movie was NOT called Chucky, but rather a Christmas tale about a killer and a doll. Curse of Chucky pushes a lot of buttons, but may not be the excellent option that you remember.

In this movie you will find that a young woman and her mother are stalked by a killer doll. That doll is an updated version of our favorite friend, and I’m not a fan. The over polished look and feel was not great, but the movie does a good job in revealing why, but I won’t say more to that effect. Aside from that, the movie has our little buddy sounding a lot like Brad Dourif, because he’s in it! The movie moves forward with your traditional plot of murdering family members in a house, and you aren’t sure why.

By the third act you are revealed another backstory, and one that kind of makes sense. The buildup is tense, and right when you think this one is going to be over, it kicks off into overdrive. A woman in a wheelchair becomes our hero, and she is badass, until taking one hell of a spill, in which the doll we thought was real, isn’t real at all. Curse of Chucky plays with the emotions of longtime fans, and then drops them into a cornfield, and drives away. That may not make a lot of sense, because that’s how I feel about the movie. It tries too hard to make something new, when I already have 5 movies of remembering the characters.

Perhaps the best thing about the movie, and subsequently the worst thing about the movie is the ending that ties things together past, present, and future into a new world. One where the last movie is made insignificant, but then again, so what? Right?

Curse of Chucky is a far cry from the original Childs Play, but it’s not half bad. There are some logical moments, and a lesbian subplot that I swore needed boobs, but other than that, this isn’t half bad. I found it tense, and in the tradition of the original series, but with a new twist. I didn’t like the ending, nor did I really know where it was going, but overall, it’s a fun entry. One that I would probably see again, just not necessarily soon. Check it out, it’s kind of cool to see our little friend back in action.



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Grizzly Review

One of my favorite shirts from Rotten Cotton is their iconic silk screen of this movie’s poster. Grizzly was released in 1976 and another entry in the PG era, which is insanity. I can’t believe these were horror movie releases with such tame ratings, and yet today, we can’t come up with a good movie that is in the same genre with the same kind of iconic punch. Whatever the case is, this is not an epic, it’s not going to win awards and most people will find this to be just like the reviewers stated in the past, “Jaws” on the land. Yeah, that is a fitting tribute, but it’s a bit worse than the mighty shark film, even if LJN didn’t make a video game after this one.

The movie follows a group of campers that are just chilling and not dealing with any of your normal traps. Even though the opening showcases a good bear attack, it won’t haunt your dreams, that’s for sure. As campers are killed, you have a chief ranger that is set on closing things down and trying to set up a party that will take out the 18 foot beast. Of course, no story would be good without a good sense of danger, scares, and jump scenes, right? Well you get it all in this schlock fest of a film from the 1970s.

The story components are all the same that you would expect from a giant monster film, and nothing is really done that well here. Sure, there are some strong story elements, but in the full frame of things you are going to get a lot of slow down and ramp up for a bear that is laughable at best. Sure, it’s better than some of the ones that I’ve seen in recent years even though some were passable.

Perhaps the best thing about Grizzly is that it’s not a man in a bear suit, it’s a real bear. Yes, a real bear is used through the film and it’s not half bad. Mix a serial killer movie, with nature and you may start to see this one develop before your very eyes. The whole natural killing elements, camp sequences, and screaming will definitely have you smiling, but it’s far from “classic”.

Grizzly does have some good scenes, and the filmmakers didn’t completely botch this one. I don’t hate it, but I feel that it hasn’t stood the test of time. It’s definitely something to put on during your Halloween season of watching horror films, but repeated viewings? Well, only diehards will want to get Grizzly and watch it over and over. Not me, but I’m not really a measuring stick.



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Bride of Chucky Review

I recall seeing this movie and the sequel in theaters a while ago, but I never sat down to review it, and therefore I am going to talk about it a bit. Today we will be dealing with the movie that brought back the doll of horror known as Chucky into the big screens and away from straight to dvd hell like so many others had to deal with. Bride of Chucky puts our little antihero in an interesting and sadistic realm with all the trimmings that you would expect from the classic horror franchise that started in the late 1980s. Gone are the slow moving plot points and lackluster scenarios and in comes a fast paced, black comedic horror film.

The movie looks great, and holds up quite well in the visuals department. Jennifer Tilly is quite the actress, and I couldn’t stop staring at her…..eyes. She has some assets that gets played up a lot here, and there are moments where some of you are just begging for a nip slip. But unlike the celebrity tabloids, the puppies are all covered up, even though they are bursting from her wardrobe at times. The cleavage is so much that one starts to wonder whether or not it ends up being a factor when she is playing poker in the World Series, but then again, it’s a matter of skill and not necessarily luck, right? I don’t know, I’m getting off topic.

The kills are brutal, but at times played up for comedic effect as Chucky is brought back by a former love. Chuck doesn’t like how he’s being treated so he kills his lover in a bathtub and gets her soul to get trapped in a doll and the two run amuck on a quest to find the original body of the soul so that they can get an amulet. This all moves along a road trip plot with two lovers that are the next serial murderers to gain fame for being a deadly couple.

Overall, Bride of Chucky is a guilty pleasure that is not really scary, but really does drum up some nostalgia here and there. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and does a lot to entertain, make fun, and present the whole series as one big joke. I like it, and found the inside jokes to be awesome, and the ending, well the ending is just another classic moment in horror history.

John Dies At The End Review

There are a lot of horror movies that come out on a regular basis and no one sees them. This is one of those many releases that no one cared to see in theaters, but alas the world of dvd and streaming can be glad to have another movie to watch and review. I myself finally caught this one, and after I wrote about the release of David Wong’s other book and of course this book as well, it’s about time. Clumsy sentences and bad reviews aside, I found myself watching this one in wonder, as it is truly an original take on a not so original genre, the horror one that is. John Dies at the End is the focus of this review, although I’m a bit tired from making less than minimum wage, applying at jobs that don’t call me back, and wondering where my life started to tailspin in terms of getting ahead in a career path. Heck, I have no career, who am I fooling?

The film is a complex and winding tale about a couple of friends that have found a drug that makes things come to life in a way that Hunter S. Thompson would be proud of. The whole movie weaves around a guy telling a reporter about what has happened to him in the past, and how he came in contact with this insane drug known simply as soy sauce. It is killing off anyone that comes in contact with it, but not before extreme hallucinations and other off setting problems happen.

Throughout the film gags of all types happen and you get to see a great deal of gore as well. In an effort to hasten the pace, you get a lot of intertwining elements, none of which seem to make sense and the whole pay off does a poor job with revealing what the hell is going on. I had more questions about the plot and where it was going than I usually do, and by the time things started to make a little sense, a giant eyeball was eating people. John Dies at The End is definitely a movie worth watching, however, it is not worth asking any questions because you will receive no major answers.

When it comes to finding original horror movies, this is definitely a good one, so make sure that you venture out and watch it, then try to figure out what is going on. The ending will come out of nowhere with an epilogue that is fitting, all things considered.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter Review

I was supposed to be working on Chemical Burn stuff, but their ROKU app decided to quit, and I haven’t had time to look into their screeners that were sent out, so I’ll have to settle for this update, or rather you will have to settle.

There are a series of novels that are essentially rewritten historical accounts of the lives of iconic people and places. This altered history happens to throw the 16th president into the role of a vampire hunter and while most people may not be so quick to say the premise works, the movie does a good job of making the basis for the novel, quite compelling to say the least. With that in mind, the following review is of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

The movie does a good job setting up the hero with the death of his mother at the hands of a vampire, than subsequently goes through some years of his training at the hands of another bloodsucker and the story starts to really move into a fast paced actioner, although it has horror elements. The movie plays more like an Asian cinema Kung Fu epic, but still maintains a certain sense of creep factor here and there. The muted and goldenrod filter on the cameras is a bit annoying, but otherwise, you get a full framework of what could have been a biopic done right. Of course the sensationalized action is something that probably never was a thing for Lincoln to deal with, but then again, his favorite sport was professional wrestling, so maybe he did see some action of this nature.

Overall the film has a good sense of humor about the whole thing, while maintaining serious tones for the slaying of vampires here and there. The slow motion is somewhat distracting and the constant computer graphics and design is not my favorite. However, the producers did a good enough job to get me to forget that and start thinking about whether or not some of the fight sequences were in fact possible. I had to remind myself that these things are NOT reality and are part of a horror-action movie, so maybe they did a good job after all.

Abraham Lincoln battled zombies before, he battled slavery, and most likely enjoyed some of Hulk Hogan’s favorite matches. (Seeing as though Hogan is sooo old, eh? Eh?) I liked this outing, even if it did have some slow motion fighting, but I liked it none the less. I thought it was interesting and it kept me awake, which is something that many other movies haven’t done in a long time. I’d suggest watching it and reading the book too.