Scary Film Review

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

All Horror Movies That Came Out in September 2009

Here are all the horror movies that came out this month, and they aren't that bad. Check em out and help out your writer (me) since I still haven't landed my next job. It's tough out here.

42nd Street Forever 5: Alamo Drafthouse Edition DVD
Batman Collection: 4 Film Favorites
Black Lagoon: The Complete Series Set
Blade of the Immortal Volume 1
Bloodwine DVD
The Dark Crystal Blu-ray DVD
Dracula's Fiancee DVD
Dinner With a Vampire DVD
Ergo Proxy: The Complete Series Box Set (Viridian Collection)
Farmhouse DVD
Fermat's Room DVD
Flesh, TX DVD
The Girlfriend Experience DVD
The Hanging Woman DVD
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer Blu-ray DVD
The Hills Run Red DVD
Lucifera: Demon Lover DVD
Nightmare DVD
The New York Ripper Blu-ray DVD
Shortcut DVD
Snakes on a Plane Blu-ray DVD
Stepfather II (DVD Special Edition) DVD
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Blu-ray DVD

And here are the rest of the DVD's that came out in September:

Albino Farm DVD
Autopsy of the Dead DVD
Battle for Terra DVD
Clive Barker's Book of Blood DVD
Edges of Darkness DVD
Friday the 13th: The Series - Complete Series Pack
Friday the 13th: The Series - The Final Season
Gojira BLU RAY DVD
The Haunted World of El Superbeasto DVD
Shaun of the Dead BLU RAY DVD
Star Trek: The Next Generation Motion Picture Collection
Star Trek: Original Motion Picture Collection
Star Trek The Original Series: Season Two BLU RAY DVD
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan BLU RAY DVD
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home BLU RAY DVD
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country BLU RAY DVD
Star Trek VIII: First Contact BLU RAY DVD
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - The Complete Seasons 1 & 2
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - The Complete Second Season
Zombies of the Stratosphere DVD
An American Werewolf in London (Full Moon Edition) [Blu-ray] (1981)
Army of Darkness (Screwhead Edition) [Blu-ray] (1992)
Bleach, Vol. 20 (2009)
Child's Play [Blu-ray] (1988)
Dark Shadows: The Haunting of Collinwood (2009)
Dark Shadows: The Vampire Curse (2009)
Equilibrium [Blu-ray] (2002)
Ghost in the Shell: Anime Legends 2nd Gig
Grace (2009)
The Hannibal Lecter Anthology [Blu-ray]
Iron Monkey [Blu-ray] (1993)
John Carpenter: Master of Fear Collection
King Kong Escapes (1967)
King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962)
Misery [Blu-ray/DVD] [Blu-ray] (1990)
Phantasm II (1988)
Shakugan No Shana Box Set (Viridian Collection)
Shinobi No Mono Collector's Set, Vol. 1 (1962)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Collection (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003 / The Texas Chainsaw Massacre The Beginning) (2009)
Van Helsing [Blu-ray] (2004)
Wes Craven Collection
Wrong Turn [Blu-ray] (2003)
The Wolfman (Special Edition) (Universal Legacy Series) (1941)
Battle of the Warriors Dvd
Catwoman Blu Ray Dvd
Crank 2: High Voltage Dvd
Creepshow Blu Ray Dvd
Dead Calm Dvd
Freddy vs. Jason Blur Ray Dvd
Fringe The Complete First Season Dvd Set
Sphere Blu Ray Dvd
Blacula/Scream Blacula Scream DVD
Drifter: Henry Lee Lucas DVD
Earth Day DVD
The Evil That Men Do DVD
Humanity's End DVD
Impact DVD
Methodic DVD
School for Unclaimed Girls DVD
Take Out DVD
TCM Greatest Classic Films Collection: Horror (House of Wax 1953 / The Haunting 1963 / Freaks / Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 1941) DVD BOX SET
To Dance with Death DVD

Here are links to the other movie release posts that we've done this year:

All the Horror Movies that Came out in July 2009 Click Here
All The Horror Movies That Came Out In June 2009 Click here
All The Horror Movies that came out in May 2009 Click Here
All the horror movies that came out in April 2009 Click Here
All the horror movies that came out in March 2009 Click Here
All Horror Movies That Came Out In January 2009 Click Here

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Monday, September 28, 2009

End of the Month Death Toll September 2009 Edition

Friday, September 25, 2009

Jennifer's Body Review

Jennifer's Body hit theaters this past weekend and I was lucky enough to check it out. I had heard a lot of information about this movie in a lot of different ways. I first heard about this film because it's the follow up to Juno by Diablo Cody. It was supposed to be a departure from the first film, and it was supposed to be a straight laced horror film. Many people, including myself and my former coworker, were laughing at the premise because of who was attached to play the starring role; Megan Fox.

Many websites were reporting that this movie was going to be the first movie to see Megan Fox Naked! That was definitely one of the reasons why I wanted to see it, because I had heard so much hype about Megan Fox being good looking, that it was about time for me to see them twins! I kid. I don't think Megan Fox is hot, but her costar, to me is wonderful and dreamy.

Jennifer's Body tells the story of two friends. One friend is a complete slut and the other isn't. The dialogue is ridiculous, all modern and stupid. Much like Juno tried to move the words into the modern era, this movie had a lot of teenage dialogue that didn't seem real to me. It was the first of many different flaws in this film. The friends start to come apart when Jennifer gets involved with an indie band after their performance causes the club that they were at to burn down. As Jennifer goes with the band she finds out that they are going to sacrifice her...and she becomes a zombie vampire type succubus.

Here is a trailer for the film Jennifer's Body:

The movie sucks. I'm sorry, I can't believe I had to pay for this piece of junk. This is not really a horror movie as much as it is a comedy. The CG is stupid. At one point there is a vomit scene that is completely CG! What the heck!? Also, there are just completely terrible sequences of fighting with slow motion and sped up sequences that really remind me of "The Coventant" or dare I say, "The Craft".

Besides the fact that Megan Fox is NOT NAKED, I REPEAT MEGAN FOX IS NOT NAKED, and that's a major draw for this film. Why? Because it's RATED R!

The movie draws you through a cop out ending, and while it's not an amnesia tale, it's the other horror cliche of the hero becoming the villain or antihero, and the ending really reminded me of High Tension in a lot of ways. I would not recommend anyone seeing Jennifer's Body at all, it's not a good film. It's terribly written, and shot like a teenage comedy with CG pushing a lot of things into the wrong way. It's kind of horror, it's kind of comedy, it's all stupid. It insults your intelligence as a horror fan and then tries to patronize your teenage inside by having a lesbian sex scene with no sound and just close up.

Lame.

What a waste of money.

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Cronos Review

Guillermo Del Toro is a name synonymous with good film now, however, he didn't always have a spectacular name. He has made some incredible films from the past, and things have been steam rolling through to this day. He created a very intense, horror film in Spanish that carries over a traditional horror palette that most people don't seem to understand anymore. Harking back to the seriousness of the 70's mainstream horror push, and the 80's gift of gore, with traditional Spanish rhetoric, this film really tied together a lot of pieces well without getting sickening or too gorey for its own good. The movie that I'm going to try to review here is the enigmatic film entitled, "Cronos".

Cronos is an interesting film as it goes back and forth between English and Spanish. It starts out with a nice backstory about a metaphysical device, not too unlike the box from Hellraiser, but much more nuanced. The device seems to be attached to the death of several people, but we do not know for sure, and to introduce us to the unorthodox death sequences we are greeted with someone hung upside down, blood dripping, and the movie progresses to modern day.

Here is a trailer for the Guillermo Del Toro's classic Cronos:

One of the downsides of this film is that you have to think and watch at the same time. This story has a cerebral quality that you're not going to easily grasp. It's a combination of subtle Spanish speaking and if you're using subtitles, English translation. However, the screen shows things that you have to pick up or you'll lose sight overall. I can see many people not liking this film because of the fact that it moves so fast through Spanish and English never really settling over anyone over the other in regards to complicated speech. However, if you're not used to it, you're going to think this film is not worth while for you. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but you'll miss out on this deeply moving film.

For those familiar with Batman, this movie is somewhat on the same line of "The Lazarus Pit" from that line of writing. The Cronos device forces itself onto someone and upon piercing the skin, creates a long lasting life. However, to remain alive the user must drink blood! So what we are getting out of the story here is a vampiristic, zombie like effect and scenario that is repeated in horror a lot. I like this film because it's not over the top in the presentation of this fountain of youth type thing. The Cronos device is an insect, made of gold, and it is really subtle throughout the film.

As the movie progresses the conflict between two men boils over into a frenzy, creating the main conflict of this film. With both people wanting themselves to possess the ultimate power, we see how the human condition could really turn evil when life and pride are on the life. The greed of life is the underlying interesting point of the film.

Is Cronos a scary film?: No.

Cronos, while it means well is not a scary movie to me. It is a well plotted, and superbly acted movie. It's casual in its demeanor, it's poignant in the message and while it is based in horror overall, it's not scary. The pacing does not allow for much horror elements, and while they are there, there is so much dialogue and so much emphatic usage of language, color, and substance that you really start to feel for the characters. It has been noted on this site that if you start to care about the characters than the horror elements are shaken a bit more and you don't really see the scary notions.

Can it be scary? Yes, the traditional idea of living forever is not something that is new. The desperation for the fountain of youth is something that we have seen explored in many movies and in world history. The main horror to the notion of living forever is not so much the boredom of it as seen in films like "Dracula" but more so the burden of staying alive in a world that wants you dead. we see the latter in a lot of modern zombie films, where eating to stay alive is truly the name of the game. The scariest part of this film is the obsession of staying young, as the device helps the main character get vitality. He will stop at nothing to use it, which will then kill him. The film has a unique point that was also seen in "Tales from the Crypt", specifically when a man has 9 lives and he's trying to cheat death at all costs. Cheating death seems to be something that has impressed horror movie fans as well as we have seen "Final Destination" make a franchise out of the notion.

Cronos is an impressive horror film. It's a slow moving film though, and while visually it shows prowess from a brilliant director, the horror elements are dated overall. However, that's where you win the most out of this film, the way it doesn't treat the viewer like a kid, or a horror fiend, and how it really relies on character development over scare tactics or jumps scenes is something that is not common in today's horror films. In fact, this film is quite the example in how you can be effective without being too over the top or without rehashing the past.

Cronos is highly recommended to serious horror movie fans and movie buffs alike. The colors, the acting, and the plot points make this one of the better horror movies to come out of Mexico in decades. Seriously, this is a really cool piece of horror cinema, despite my points on how slow it can be at times.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Interesting Horror Movie Releases 9/22/09

An interesting week of horror film releases has come through. This is the best thing to happen in horror in a long time, and there's some science fiction releases to also get your grubby hands on. I am still unemployed and haven't gotten any leads for a new job so if you want to help, purchase something from amazon, if not, whatever...what are you gonna do?

here's the latest releases in Horror for this week 9/22:

Albino Farm DVD
Autopsy of the Dead DVD
Battle for Terra DVD
Clive Barker's Book of Blood DVD
Edges of Darkness DVD
Friday the 13th: The Series - Complete Series Pack
Friday the 13th: The Series - The Final Season
Gojira BLU RAY DVD
The Haunted World of El Superbeasto DVD
Shaun of the Dead BLU RAY DVD
Star Trek: The Next Generation Motion Picture Collection
Star Trek: Original Motion Picture Collection
Star Trek The Original Series: Season Two BLU RAY DVD
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan BLU RAY DVD
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home BLU RAY DVD
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country BLU RAY DVD
Star Trek VIII: First Contact BLU RAY DVD
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - The Complete Seasons 1 & 2
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - The Complete Second Season
Zombies of the Stratosphere DVD

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Teeth Review

Like a lot of different myths out there, there is one about a killer vagina. Well, it's not exactly "The Killer Condom" but it's a myth none the less. So here is an ineresting premise for a movie, a woman has a killer vagina. Yep, that's the entire premise o this film.

While horror movie fans jumped at the chance to understand this movie, many people ended up seeing something different, with no real intentions of that happening. What I am referring to is the fact that Teeth is not so much a horror movie as it is a black comedy.

So here I am trying to make sense of the film, Teeth.

The movie as you might know is a movie about a young woman that finds out she has a violent, flesh eating vagina. There's not much else out there to explain.

Oh and if you're not happy with my synopsis, here's the official one:

Dawn is her chastity group's most active participant. But she discovers she has a toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence and experiences both the pitfalls and power of living the vagina dentata myth.

Here's a trailer for the independent film Teeth:

The horror elements of this film are done alright. The build up is tricky, but it works out and the gore is enough to make you cringe. However, the gore and horror of this film is only a few moments in time overall and really an after thought in regards to the film.

The movie does an ok job in setting up a lot of things. I love the way things are set up, the sounds, the build up in regards to the scenes, and of course the slayings of sorts were quite interesting for sure.

The greatest part of this film is the doctor sequence in which a doctor is molesting our main star instead of testing her, and he gets his fingers cut off. If that, not even a kill, is the best part of this film you know you have problems.

There is a sequence in this film that threw me for a loop...which really made me hate this movie, and that was definitely the sex scene where the killer vagina didn't kill...it just enjoyed the pleasure. So odd....whatever.

Teeth is a novelty that hooked me on the premise, than expressed greatness with full frontal nudity, an R rating, and more gratuitous nudity, before finally going balls t the wall for a second round of gore, but not really winning the race.

I'm telling you, shave away the premise and this is nothing more than a coming of age film with a killer vagina.

You think I'm wrong?

There's teenagers, there's a bet, there's a vow, there's someone losing their virginity, what other cliches could you ask for?

Oh yeah, and then there is plenty of penile gore...oh yes...and it goes towards the incest button...yep.

Is Teeth Scary? : No.

This movie is not a scary movie and I'm not sure it was supposed to be scary. In fact it was meant as a comedic endeavor, and that's where you find this film, in more comedic lights not necessarily serious lights.

Sure there are horror comedies out there, but in regards to this site and horror purists, this film is lack luster. It's actually an interesting dramatic take on sexuality, lust, sex, and just being a teenager going through puberty. That's about it, nothing more and nothing really less than that. If the main character didn't have Vagina Dentata, then this film is an awkward coming of age film set in the suburbs, like many other films.

This movie had the premise of having a killer vagina to make sure things were going smoothly, but outside of that, this movie is not much in the way of horror at all. In fact, it's actually quite tame and really just boring at times. It's a novelty act in a lot of ways, much like "The Killer Condom" was a novelty act. In fact, I found the alligator vagina in Tokyo Gore Police to be far scarier. At least in that scene it was only a few moments and minutes long. This movie was full length...odd.

The penile gore was awesome, I admit that. But the rest? It's just a slow moving day dream of a film, and not really that recommended. Teeth is interesting, but not in the regular horror tradition. I did like it, and there's a ton of nudity to balance out the boredom, but overall this one is not horror and therefore not necessarily worthy of diehard horror fans time....unless you're into gratuitous nudity, cause then this one wins. It's an independent film and it slaps you in the face with that at every chance.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Friday, September 18, 2009

From The Mail Bag Mid September 2009 Edition

This month has been moving faster than most. I got fired, I haven't been watching as many horror films, and haven't been having fun not getting a new job. Oh and I'm moving out of state too...great...but here is the latest from the mail bag with your comments and my responses.

Anonymous wrote this comment in regards to my Lifeforce Review:

You forgot to mention that the film has a pace like a runaway train. Incidentally only one person (Carlson) survives in the Churchill -(space ship/shuttle) Mathilda May looks scarey (despite being nude)and a dont forget Patrick Stewards "anything to oblige commander” a couple of years before his star trek debut. Its a cracking film and yes it's showing its age but its a 10/10 from me

Yeah, you're right, I forgot to mention a few things. This movie is rad in a lot of different ways, but it's slow. I wouldn't give it a ten, but it was great.

Anonymous wrote in response to my Quarantine Review:

Hey friend. I Just discovered your horror blog. Amazing and impressive job, especially for some hidden gems like 976 evil by Robert Englund. I avoided Quarantine because all these remakes always make me sick. You gotta see the original, absolutely. And don't forget that the sequel to the original spanish rec is coming soon... See you soon. Take a look to my horror blog: tallmanslair.blogspot.com. I'm from Italy and my english is not so good, unfortunately.
bye by Antonio

Thanks. I try to write this site and it's just hard for me. I'm broke, that's my problem. But thank you, I did check out your site it's not half bad. I will continue to work through a lot...i speak spanish and saw rec, it's brilliant.

abrinkofdeliverance said this in regards to my Orphan Review:

Loved the twist, too. Only cause I wasn't expecting it either.

Great review!

There are so many subtle things that made that movie great. The raw cold of the twist with the explicit ending, was definitely great. I can't wait to see it on dvd, it'll rock hard. I think that more people should've saw it, as it was definitely something that the horror genre has been lacking this year...the sense of suspense.

andy wrote in regards to the post: "Saw The Ride, Really?":

Looks like a reasonable ride made much better by the theming ideas of Mr Wardly...

I had a friend in College named Andy, he was cool. Anyways, yes...it doesn't look terrible, but it might suck as well. I guess that's the life we lead in horror.

That's it folks. This month we had a few comments, but nothing major. I know I've been slacking but forgive me. I lost my job and I'm moving. Not only that, I've had to cut my netflix account and everything is packed. It's a tough road for me.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.