Rob Zombie burst onto the movie scene with his “House of 1,000 Corpses” and levied that into a career as a director. While some people hated his work on “Halloween”, others thought that the visionary director had something to offer the community as a whole. With the release of “The Lords of Salem” the hype surrounding his directorial work was definitely at an all-time high. Then the movie came out and a lot of people threw in the towel, their hands up in the air and claimed that he had lost it. Even though there are a lot of people that hate this movie, I think that it comes across 100 million times better than “Drag Me To Hell”, which I thought was garbage and terribly made by a veteran director. This movie was not rated Pg-13, it was rated R for a reason, it’s a HORROR MOVIE!
Visually, Zombie found a way to create a compelling, lavish art house film. There is a very beautiful array that comes through every frame of this movie, and it’s atmospheric from the first moments on the screen to the finish line. There’s attention to the colors, the set pieces, and everything works together in a very Kubrick like manner. You are going to swear that you’re watching something older than the past few years because this type of cinematography doesn’t usually hit the screen very often. The rich reds, greens, blacks, reds, and golden rod all hit the screen hard, and I was definitely impressed with the change from the dark and gloomy elements that he worked with in other movies, to this jump into what the foreign horror movies of the 1970s and 1980s were bringing.
Lords of Salem's Striking Use of Color
The movie revolves around a coven that has picked a vessel in modern times to bring forth a reckoning. A child is birthed, although the story is somewhat convoluted, through the sequences of a radio DJ playing a record that has been delivered to her. The movie then progresses and we get a writer trying to figure out a melody that is droning on and on and familiar in a way. The writer recognizes it as a melody for an old coven, and he quickly tries to figure out why it is being played on the radio. Through the narrative we get a slow burn that leaves us with no answers, except for a news reel that plays at the end.
Overall, “The Lords of Salem” is a visual masterpiece. Rob Zombie went for broke on this one, and truly delivers a “unique” vision. It may not make a lot of sense at times, but there’s enough visual direction and art to make this one of the most unique horror movies to come out in a long time. I cannot think of another movie that has the same kind of compelling visualization, and I’ve written this blog for a long time. I’ve read the complaints on this movie and you know what? If you didn’t like this at all, you’re an idiot and perhaps you shouldn’t watch horror movies any longer. This isn’t particularly scary, it’s just visually compelling in a way that few horror movies in the modern scope are.
Visual Design Is The Strong Suit of Zombie's Lords of Salem
Then again, there’s a very distinct disconnect when you see the latex baby…I’ll leave it at that. “Lords of Salem” is best enjoyed on blu ray like I did, and definitely an underrated piece of horror from recent releases. I have seen a lot of recent movies, and most don't have the same kind of visual collateral. Sure, Zombie's storytelling leaves something to be desired, but as far as a movie that isn't a rehash, or a reboot. It's an original picture that deserves far more credit than it gets. Sheri Moon Zombie does well here, and so do the other actors. I liked it.
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I grew up in the projects of Culver City. My sister’s nanny was Latina and she had a couple of kids my age. That meant that 90% of my time away from school was spent in the hood. In that hood I met a lot of interesting people, some of which are carbon copies in this movie. I hate the other Paranormal Activity movies, I don’t like them at all. I think they suck, quite honestly. But the makers of the series found a way to get to me, and you know what, they did it well. This movie is awesome in my book, and it’s because it hits home to my childhood and the things my people say, do, and well act like. Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones has a healthy mix of fear, and I for one loved it.
The movie tells the story of recent Latino graduates. They live in a small apartment complex, and they have a camera that they are recording everyday life with. As they start to investigate their neighbor, they realize that there’s something going awry. They find out that she’s in “Santa Muerte” and things start to spin out of control when the main character, Jesse, finds what appears to be a bite on his arm. Of course this comes after a black magic, voodoo, black mirror thing ends up happening in an abandoned church. I may be glossing over things, but whatever, it’s coming from memory.
As the movie progresses, things really start to get insane, and we push through to a story that is gut wrenching. I haven’t felt a twist in my stomach until Jesse turns super evil, and his friends have to try and save them. Hector running through a sequence in the Coven and Marisol falling out the sky did it for me, and the movie really pushed my buttons. Perhaps it’s the Latino influence, perhaps I was just lucid, but there were moments in this movie that made me root for the good guys, even though they brought this whole thing on themselves. Scooping fire into their laps turned out to burn them like hell, no pun intended.
Altogether, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones is a frenetically wound scary movie, and it had me amazed. I liked the found footage story telling here, and appreciated the nod to my culture in a way. There’s a lot to this movie, and something that I will definitely watch again. I haven’t seen a horror movie in a long time that I truly liked, and this is one of them. It’s powerful, and while it’s not perfect, it’s definitely one of my favorites from the past few years. There’s a sick sense of terror that permeates through the actions of this movie, and something that all good horror movies do. There's something for everyone here, and if you're at all familiar with Mexican, Latino culture, you may have a bit of a soft spot for this movie's central characters and themes.
The real dirt here, buy this one on blu ray, wait for nightfall, light some candles and get scared. I loved it. Yeah, I said it. There's more to this than just my attempt at an explanation, so go see it or figure out how to get it (below).
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There are some movies that slip my memory because they are terrible. Then there are movies that I don’t ever want to relive because they are beyond the scope of terrible, and that’s what happened with this one, I totally forgot that I watched it, fell asleep, and then finished it later on. Death Note is a film that has an interesting premise, and is based on an anime of the same name. I will try my best to create some sort of review of this movie, but don’t blame me if I give up mid-way.
The film revolves around two students at a university, one of which receives a killer notebook. He writes a name in it, and they die. The other tries to stop the deaths by trying to reason with the student, while our killer goes insane with his list. The full motion devil character makes for one of the worst pieces of this film, and fully makes me cringe at the memory. Not since I saw the PBS Frankenstein film did I completely laugh at the screen in a horror film.
The film is boring, it offers a certain level of interest with a detective sub plot, but other than that, this film sucks. I got tired of it right away, and would rather not sit through another viewing or even the sequel. A notebook that upon writing in it kills people? Yeah, I would rather just read Goosebumps again. Sorry.
Another bad film to add to the pile of crap movies I’ve seen this year.
Oh, the Spanish, how lovely they are to me. One of my favorite adult movies features this Spanish bird, and well, I wish I could meet a girl from Spain, instead of sitting here on another weekend, alone, no woman, and dateless yet again. But that's neither here nor there, let's talk about the latest film for this review site, Satan's Blood. This 1978 horror movie features the best of everything that is good in horror and then some. In fact, I believe that this film is the best horror movie that I have seen this year, and that's saying a lot, because I see a lot of horror. The film was directed by Carlos Puerto, and recently came to the US in a full uncut, English dubbed version, and boy does it pack a punch.
Satan's Blood starts with a pornographic sex scene that involves a satan worshiping weirdo, and a lovely bird. The movie is so graphic that my sister and stepdad had to nearly leave the room, because it was quite insane. The movie can easily be confused as something unrelated, but trust me, get past the first ten minutes.
The movie slowly moves into a different plot theme. A couple drives through town only to get stopped by another couple that say they went to school together. The two catch up and are interested in going to have lunch off the side of the road. The mountain side castle like structure that the two couples end up at is quite crazy. It appears a lot like Dracula's castle in most horror vampire mythology. Once inside the couples start playing a weird game, and that leads to the greatest satanic sex orgy I've ever seen. Sure, the bumping and grinding wasn't that of "The Devil in Miss Jones" or anything like that, but it did have some similarities. The sexual situations force the couples into a weird union of satanism that really makes for quite the weird next few scenes. At one point there is a weird rape sequence that is never fully explained.
The film moves forward with relative ease, and lots of gore, and sick moments. The film takes the high road towards the end, and I was predicting a trivial identity crisis ending, but nope, the film gets into some strange lands, particularly with the introduction of a porcelain doll that bleeds. The doll is one of the creepiest points in the film, making for a side show horror piece that makes the film palpable in terms of terror. The ending twist is what really grabbed me.
I won't reveal the twist, but boy did it have some great moments. The realization that the whole scenario was a set up for something completely sinister rivals anything I've seen in a long time. I was completely impressed with how the ending turned out, the camera usage, editing, and acting. There were some physical scenes that had to be difficult for the actors involved to create. One such moment was when our antihero chokes out the villains girlfriend, and marks are seen manifesting on the neck of the actress.
Satan's Blood is one of the best Spanish horror films I've seen in a long time. I watch a lot of movies, and this one really grabbed me by the hair and punched me in the face. It features a great deal of sex, violence, and gore. The gore showcased in the final sequences is worth its weight in gold, and the macabre tale is really interesting when the film goes full circle in the end, and we get a moment where a sequel can be made! While this film is not on blu ray, it is worth the high price of purchasing it, which I will gladly recommend and do. Aside from the stupid name, I thought the film pulled no punches, and makes for one of the coolest and slickest horror films. I know, I'm gushing over this one, but after seeing so much garbage, and avoiding British horror, I loved this one, and recommend it highly.
It was bound to happen, I finally ran into something produced by the British Film Industry. Well, to be fair this was a joint venture between British Film Productions and American International Pictures so it's not necessarily all Britain's fault. Witchfinder General was made in 1968 and starred none other than Vincent Price. This low budget film doesn't look as low budget as some of the movies that you see going straight to dvd these days.
The plot of this film follows a witch hunter in the middle of 1645 trying to hunt down evil doers and those that are demon possessed. What we end up seeing is how the hunt turns frightening when the obsessed hunter starts to kill people that are not witches at all!
There isn't a whole lot of gore in this film, but you get about as much as you could expect for the era that this film is made. You get some nice fight sequences, which I enjoyed. Aside from the final sequences and death of the hunter, this film is a slow moving ride with not a whole lot going on in terms of horror. There are a few moments to break up the monotony, but overall this is a dry dialogue driven horror film.
For those looking for some gratuitous nudity in film, you get some here, although it is very very tame. The R rating is definitely deserved as you see 1960's female nudity, which trumps anything new that I've seen in recent years.
Visually the film looks like a medieval epic, and I liked it for that. I liked the way the film seems to be dated and higher budget than it really had, and the editing brings everything together nicely.
Is it a scary film? Not really. It's kind of mild, and nothing harder than you might see on a Goosebumps show from the late 90's. I was falling asleep at one point in the film, but I woke myself up and suffered through. I can't say that this is a great film, but Vincent Price did make me laugh a few times, despite his serious tone. This film, for what it is, is ok, but I wouldn't recommend it unless you're absolutely a huge Vincent Price fan or a fan of collecting classic horror films. I love the movie posters for the film, more than the actual release. It's not the worst film I've ever seen, but it's far from the best.
It's interesting to note that the director was made into a villain upon the release of this film. There are some torture scenes that are mild in today's standards but in 1968? It was enough to get film critics to nearly ban the film. While the United States let the full film play, the UK got a censored version. Some have called this one a cult classic since the director died from drugs at the age of 25. Many have come out to say that this is one of the greatest horror films of all time, but those are some real idiots...or maybe they're just glorifying something that they haven't seen in a while.
The 1988 horror classic Night of The Demons broke some of the stereotypes in horror. The most notable being that the "black guy" dies first. In that horror film, the black guy lives and saves the white girl from disaster. I love the ending of that film, with what looks like Michael Jackson and Alice in Wonderland, making it out of one crazy night. This is NOT like the 1988 film, and boy do they beat you over the head with the fact. It's probably one of the worst remakes I've seen in a long time, and believe me I've seen some bad movies. Night of the Demons was supposed to get a theatrical release, but instead got a straight to dvd treatment, because it sucked so bad. Shannon Elizabeth and Edward Furlong round out a cast of lazy actors and really make for one of the worst performances I've seen in while.
The plot of this movie is similar to the first, with a new twist. A group of idiots front he 1920's were possessed by demons and now they need new bodies, so a party is thrown and well...they all become possessed and turned into what appears to be vampires and zombies.
The only cool thing about this film is the gratuitous nudity. That's right, lots of boobs, lots of sex, and even "zombie" sex at one point, make this film visually compelling for heterosexual males. Outside of the spank bank material, there are some great gore scenes, and sequences that will have you enjoying the film, albeit quickly edited.
When the film finally sets up the main premise, you're so tired, that you end up wanting to take a nap. There are some recycled scenes from the original, but you get NONE of the impact, and it just becomes a parody of the original, instead of a true reboot. I hated, for instance, the scene where a lipstick is pushed through the nipple of a breast. The original made that sequence creepy and great, but here, it's just a "comedy" which makes me hate this film that much more.
What happened to Shannon Elizabeth? She went from a hot chick in American Pie to a wannabe goth in this film. Oh and for those hoping to get a peak of her naked again, too bad, it's not happening here. Edward Furlong looks like a bloated, fat, shell of his former self. He phones it in, yet again.
The final sequence is horrendous. This movie sucks. It's not scary, it wasn't even watchable, and really made me want to watch the original. The "demonized" idiots are more vampire like than anything else, and yet they eat people like zombies, which forces me to once again question why anyone would remake 80's slasher films. If you want to see Night of the Demons from 2009, go for it, but it's not a good one, it's NOT recommended at all. I'd rather see the original.
I’m always down to see new film, and I’m always interested in seeing low budget and no-budget horror films. So when I was told about Manhater, I was excited to check it out. I’m always happy to see that there are people outside of the big Hollywood studios, creating horror film for the love of it, or so it seems. This film written and produced by Phil Calderone, doesn’t look amazing at first glance, but if you stick it out, you see some cool effects, despite lack of budget and lack of major film studio, and major actors.
The plot of Manhater is simple, an abused woman gets the ultimate revenge, although she’s not sure how it’s being done. She visits a fortune teller, who acts more like a witch, and gives her a potion that brings forth a beast that is controlled by her feelings, and her past lovers get brutally scratched, clawed, and killed to death.
The movie looks like a made for television movie, well, a Mexican made for tv movie. The first thing you’ll notice is the way it is filmed, it has a very “tv” drama feel, and some casual fans will find that distracting, but if you can get past the lack of visualization, you’ll be able to peel back the layers to something more. The editing is good, even if the sound suffers from time to time. So while it might not be a big budget affair, the movie feels like a “movie” and not another wasted straight to dvd affair, like other films I’ve reviewed for this site.
The kills are all pretty standard, clawing, scratching, not too unlike a werewolf movie, except that there are some nice gore effects and no transformation sequences like the latter. The gore effects are great, simply because it’s not CG it’s real gore effects, real looking blood, and guts. That’s a plus indeed for me, because as of late, a lot of the higher budget films have fake blood that’s not only fake, it’s computer generated.
Manhater has a good amount of nudity, and can never be shown on television, unless it was edited extremely well. I liked the gratuitous nudity, even if it was some of the most “unsexy” nude sequences I’ve seen in a while.
Is Manhater a Scary Film?: No.
I didn’t find the film scary. Sure I’m all up for demon possession, ghosts, boobs, sex and violence, but this film lacks a certain hard to define “it” factor. It’s not the low budget, and it’s not the story as a whole, it just seems lacking, and it’s hard to tell where.
The film drops the ball in the third act, with twists and turns that just seem forced. While I appreciate the “swerve” I don’t know if I liked it enough to gloss over it. The ending was interesting, and it left it open to a sequel, but it just didn’t feel complete when it was all said and done.
This independent film gets a good nod from me, simply because it’s different. You’re not going to find this film too predictable, and horror fans will appreciate the thought that went into the film. The editing is good, and the gore is far better than many recent scyfy and straight to dvd films I’ve seen. While I don’t think the film is that great, I think it’s worth a once over, and is definitely better than the box cover leads you to believe.
Here is a trailer for the independent film Manhater:
I purposely avoided The Skeleton Key when it came out for a couple of reasons. First and foremost I don’t traditionally like Kate Hudson. In fact, I can’t stand her movie choices, so I waited a few years, and now that I have time on my hands, have no job, no money, and no prospects, I can’t go further down to rock bottom, so I took a chance at a movie I wouldn’t like and man, I was proven wrong.
The Skeleton Key has a simple plot with some incredible twists, that aren’t so incredible when you reduce them down to the same plot twists found in The Twilight Zone, but in the process of trying to figure it all out, you realize that you’ve been outsmarted with relatively ease.
The movie’s plot revolves around a hospice care worker that has decided to work for an older couple in the New Orleans area. She meets a lawyer that is helping with the affairs of the older couple, and is given a special key to unlock every door in the house, with exception of one, the attic-hidden door. When the older man the nurse (Hudson) is taking care of starts to try and escape, and give signals that he is being poisoned or something, his villainous wife takes exception and things start to go awry.
This movie has all the great pieces to making a good creepy movie. There are some foreshadowed plot turns, but at the time of their reveal, you’re not sure how they are connected. After you watch the film and start thinking more, you start to realize that the filmmakers left b read crumbs to tie everything together at the end. But you won’t notice them, because the creep factor rises with each tense scene.
Much like classic mystery stories, there are several plot twists, and some of which, I can’t really tell you without going into an elaborate piece of writing. I know this much, when the evil lawyer (whom I suspected was evil all along) tries to kill our main character, I thought this movie was too predictable, then there was a wrench thrown at me, and there were two or three more major plot turns, that made this movie so much better than the critics reviews said about the film.
The visuals are great, the editing and the angles make you take notice. I never thought I’d say this, but Kate Hudson is quite lovely in this film and had me hooked from the beginning. I usually do not like her acting, nor do I like her movies, but she had me nearly drooling at one point, and even the pg-13 shower scene had me going. But more importantly, her subdued, “concerned nurse” character really fooled me, and I cared when in the end, the final reveal left her smoking….and I will leave it at that.
Is The Skeleton Key A Scary Film?: Yes.
It is scary for a reason I’ve cited on this blog in the past; I believe in demonic possession. I know, I’m going to lose some fans on this one, but after reading first hand accounts and seeing it with my own eyes, demonic possession has to be real. Well, if not, then people can truly be nuts, and well, this film has some people that are nuts. The scary moments of this film deals with the voodoo in a way, and it’s interesting to see. Being a person of faith, I found that there were some creepy moments in this film that hit home on a lot of levels. Whether it was Kate Hudson’s night terrors, the foreshadowing and construction of ghost myths only to showcase a sense of possession, the film has a lot of meaning in some very subtle and overt ways.
There is no gore, and I liked that there was a sense of horror, without using cheap thrills. I liked the pacing, and I thought that the twists were put in the right place, and the tension and payoff was quite good.
I’d recommend checking out The Skeleton Key. I don’t think it’s the greatest film in the world, but it had a nice throwback to the classic horror, and a little nod to the Twilight zone, where I first saw the final plot twist. I’m sure not everyone will agree, but I think that this film is underrated as a patchwork of ideas, rather than a clear-cut thriller/horror film.
In the mid 1990’s it seemed like there were a lot of different scary movies getting pushed, and the genre most often looked at was teen and mid-twenty somethings involved in scary situations. This is why The Craft seemed so interesting at the time. It took four up and coming women and put them in a strange friendship that dealt with the occult.
This film had me scared when it came out, but upon looking back, it’s hard to understand what scared me. Most of this film is kind of like an episode of the twilight zone. The film follows one main character who moves to Los Angeles to attend a local private school, and upon meeting new friends, starts to explore her telekinetic powers. The group of friends end up starting to cast spells, and when things start to crumble in their “magic” circle their friendship suffers, and they start to be at odds.
Unfortunately, this film is just another teenage movie, but they add witchcraft to the story, to make the film appeal to horror fans. The lack of gore, the lack of real nudity, and the laughable moments really don’t do well for the film’s audience, and most often then not, you end up getting tired of seeing the same old stories play out again.
The visuals are interesting, and for being a mid 90’s film, there are some interesting computer graphics and twists added. The film shows its age, and starts to curve towards telling the audience, that it’s ok to play with the occult as long as it is for the right reasons, and that “white” magic is awesome.
This movie doesn’t hold up well at all, and it’s hard to define where this film fits into the scary movie spectrum, but hey, it was a different time, I guess. Is The Craft a scary film?: No.
It’s emphatic, NO! This film is not scary to me now. However, rewind the clock around 14 years and there was an uneasy feeling that was involved in this film. I guess it’s easy to like the film because the chicks are kind of good looking, but their naïve and stupid “in crowd” mentality, really doesn’t prove to be a good long lasting point of interest for diehard horror fans.
The Craft is a poor example of witch films, but it set the stage for other films like “Jennifer’s Body” to steal some of the nuances. I guess it’s worth at least one look, but it’s not, by any means, a great or scary film.
I read this weekend that they are going to be remaking this film with Shannon Elizabeth attached in the lead role. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I'm sure it can't top the way this movie makes me feel all warm inside.
Alright, here is a classic for me, but not very well known for everyone. The movie is called Night of the Demons!
The movie was scary for me when I first saw it, when I was six years old! I didn’t really understand it when I was a kid, or what the gratuitous nude and sex scenes were all about, but then I bought the movie on dvd, and things all made sense.
The movie breaks a few taboos in it’s 90 minute course of horror goodness.
The first being that there is a death/sex scene in a coffin, which is not a good taboo to break, and reprehensible for me since one of my first jobs was selling caskets; a dead end job trust me. (That was a horrible pun)
The second thing being the black guy wins. No, no, I’m not a racist, and I know that you’re probably going to think that I’m going to be stretching a hard stance, but consider the fact that the ongoing stereotype is that the minorities get it first. Not this time around, we actually see a Michael Jackson costumed guy and an Alice and Wonderland girl barely make it through this one. Of course, I just spoiled the ending for you, but come on, I couldn’t resist.
The movie has a lot of sexual tension, and coarse joking. There’s even a scene where a woman puts a lipstick tube through her nipple, which is something you don’t really see everyday in normal Rated R horror films.
Before the remake comes through, make sure you check this one out. The Remake of Night of the Demons, is not going to trump this one...or is it?
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We come back to the series that I was working on this month, and guess what? I'm so jaded from this series, that not even the awesome cover art makes me like it. I once talked about this film, briefly, and it was terrible. I remember hating this piece of junk film, but this time around? I have it on vhs and I own it, so I decided to give it one more chance at redemption, and it wasn't that easy.
Silent Night Deadly Night 4 is not at all like the previous films. It shouldn't even be called the same title. This is the Halloween 3 of the series, seriously. This thing is so lame, but it feature some interesting kills, but that still doesn't save this film.
The movie is slow, it's like watching water boil, then taking it off the flame. The movie revolves around a news reporter who is investigating a mysterious death. She ends up finding out that there are witches afoot who are preparing for their weird ritual on Christmas eve!
This is not a scary movie at all. This movie really tests your patience at times, but then starts to pick up in the final act. There's an odd "posession" style curse at the end, which is loosely thrown into the plot, and there's a hint of choreography, which makes me hate movies altogether. While there are some moments that make you think twice, this thing isn't worth the time. Good thing though, because two of the characters in this film go on to make part 5...which I hear returns to form. Don't watch this film, it's not worth it. Don't believe me?
Check out the trailer for this film, and good luck if you watch this:
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Jennifer's Body hit theaters this past weekend and I was lucky enough to check it out. I had heard a lot of information about this movie in a lot of different ways. I first heard about this film because it's the follow up to Juno by Diablo Cody. It was supposed to be a departure from the first film, and it was supposed to be a straight laced horror film. Many people, including myself and my former coworker, were laughing at the premise because of who was attached to play the starring role; Megan Fox.
Many websites were reporting that this movie was going to be the first movie to see Megan Fox Naked! That was definitely one of the reasons why I wanted to see it, because I had heard so much hype about Megan Fox being good looking, that it was about time for me to see them twins! I kid. I don't think Megan Fox is hot, but her costar, to me is wonderful and dreamy.
Jennifer's Body tells the story of two friends. One friend is a complete slut and the other isn't. The dialogue is ridiculous, all modern and stupid. Much like Juno tried to move the words into the modern era, this movie had a lot of teenage dialogue that didn't seem real to me. It was the first of many different flaws in this film. The friends start to come apart when Jennifer gets involved with an indie band after their performance causes the club that they were at to burn down. As Jennifer goes with the band she finds out that they are going to sacrifice her...and she becomes a zombie vampire type succubus.
Here is a trailer for the film Jennifer's Body:
The movie sucks. I'm sorry, I can't believe I had to pay for this piece of junk. This is not really a horror movie as much as it is a comedy. The CG is stupid. At one point there is a vomit scene that is completely CG! What the heck!? Also, there are just completely terrible sequences of fighting with slow motion and sped up sequences that really remind me of "The Coventant" or dare I say, "The Craft".
Besides the fact that Megan Fox is NOT NAKED, I REPEAT MEGAN FOX IS NOT NAKED, and that's a major draw for this film. Why? Because it's RATED R!
The movie draws you through a cop out ending, and while it's not an amnesia tale, it's the other horror cliche of the hero becoming the villain or antihero, and the ending really reminded me of High Tension in a lot of ways. I would not recommend anyone seeing Jennifer's Body at all, it's not a good film. It's terribly written, and shot like a teenage comedy with CG pushing a lot of things into the wrong way. It's kind of horror, it's kind of comedy, it's all stupid. It insults your intelligence as a horror fan and then tries to patronize your teenage inside by having a lesbian sex scene with no sound and just close up.
Lame.
What a waste of money.
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I've never been a fan of movies involving twins. I guess it really got bad for me when my sister, while she was really young, watched the Disney channel way too much. I saw "The Parent Trap" involving some twins, way too many times. If that wasn't enough, it seemed like the whole "Twins" thing was just played out, with the exception of the comedic movie "Twins" which wasn't half bad, in its absurdity. When it was time to sit down and watch the 1972 Hammer Horror classic, I was a bit hesitant, especially since I had just reviewed two other Hammer movies to lackluster fan fare. However, the show must go on, the blog must be updated, and I need to keep my eyes open, so here is the review of the 1972 movie Twins of Evil.
The plot of this movie definitely looked a lot like "The Crucible" at times, and was done way better than even the Award Nominated version that we saw in theaters with Daniel Day Lewis. The movie revolves around a couple of twins, one good, one evil. They are thrust into a new world when their parents die and they move in with their Puritanical Aunt and Uncle in Karnstein (Central Europe). Things get interesting when we it is revealed that their uncle is the leader of "The Brotherhood" a religious group that stamps out witchcraft and satanism, burning people at the stake at even the hint of being involved with the occult.
The most astonishing thing about this film, at least to me, was the set design and the costumes. The costumes are somewhat elaborate for Hammer Horror, but the sets were really done well. It seemed that at this point Hammer was setting up PBS style made for tv theater, because it is amazing. Alongside the sets, which really make you believe you're in central Europe, the lighting is perfect for a 1972 film. The lighting in this film is spectacular, and rivals even some of the newer films that we have seen come out recently. Granted, you are thinking that this film looks good because it has been remastered, but not so friends. I saw this film via a VHS transfer, not a dvd! that's right, the vhs of this film looked great, and really made me consider how cool vhs, even to this day.
Another interesting thing in this film is the clever camera angles that really made use of the cleavage of the twins. No, not the boobs, but the actual twins, always bending over in camera view, always nearly showing you nipples, and really teasing you at the idea of jail bait! This was very weird, but it was the 1970's so I understand if the intent of the director really was to entice viewers. Whatever the case is, it is truly interesting to see the sexuality pushed in this movie, decades before we got gratuitous nudity and sexual situations, just for the R rating! Did it diminish the film in some way? Not really, because I don't believe that a woman would notice this. At least not the average woman. My wife didn't really notice this, but me, being a male, really thought the director was going for my senses with creative camera angles at times.
Peter Cushing is once again in the starring role, and the dude looks generally serious and sometimes scary. He fits into this role like a glove, and he brings some brilliant acting to an otherwise terrible premise at times. He isn't as good as Daniel Day Lewis, but is close in the way they are different.
The film feels like a Witch film, but it really tries to tie Witches, Warlocks and Vampires. Seriously, vampirism and the occult meet head to head in this film, that is seriously trying to be a stage play instead of movie. With that in mind, here we have to consider the ideas pushed out, even if they are accidental at times.
Is Twins of Evil Scary: No. The problem with the last couple of Hammer Horror films I've reviewed, really has to do with the amount of time and attention that is given to the atmosphere. You don't really feel that you're watching horror film, you feel like you're watching a PBS production or a historical film of some kind. You never really feel that tingling in the back of your spine, you don't feel goosebumps, and the plot twists are really done with "film making" in mind! For whatever reasons, the timing involved with the scare tactics really finds good company with dramatic film, rather than horror film. This could be seen as a flaw for people that are really looking to get scared, and a big disappointment for new comers to the Hammer Horror genre of films.
The scary thing about this film is missed if you're not a history buff, or if you just don't remember your American History or World History for that matter. If you're interested in the next topic that I will cover, please refer to Blacklisted by Stanton Evans and The Salem Witch Trials if you seriously want to get the following references I'm about to pull out of this film.
The witch hunts in this film are great. It really takes you back to the Spanish Inquisition and more recently (just in large part to calendar) the Salem Witch Trials (and McCarthyism), and you see how strong the Puritanical uncle really is. He, like many Abortion dissenters, are really diehard about snuffing out all evil and all ties with vampires, witches, occult and evil. However, when he realizes that it's in his own house, his tune begins to change a slight bit. Unwavering, he does the unthinkable with this crew, which is a huge message for those that are so diehard about their religion, faith, thoughts, and leanings. In the same vein, consider the Pro-Life family that is so gung-ho about Pro-Life until their daughter is raped and they have to come to terms with the notion that it has happened to them and the Pro-Choice ideology seems like a viable option. That sort of emotional connection can be pulled from this film with the emotional situation that comes about through the discovery that one of the Twins is evil!
There is some odd sexual tension in this film as well. Peter Cushing's threat to his nieces involving spanking is now weird. At least in 2009 and understanding everything I understand, the constant threat of spankings is just weird. Considering the girls age, it seems uncommon. However, in the 18th century, maybe this is not too uncommon and obviously is not seen as a sexual idea, so I'll refrain from making more reference to that in this film.
Twins of Evil is available on dvd, and it is ok. It's not going to be a must see for many different people. I for one, would not recommend this film over many others. However, the good acting makes this film a little better than most, and if you're trying to convince someone that horror movies can be viable films to showcase acting and film technology, this movie might get you somewhere. Sure, it's not a contender for awards of any kind, but it is interesting to note how far the Hammer Horror studios went to display such a story with elaborate sets, and such a clever eye for costume detail, it really should be seen by true fans. Twins of Evil is definitely one of my personal favorites of the Hammer series, however, it is not going to win casual fans. This dvd is out of print at the time of this review, so if you find it on vhs, snag it up, it's worthwhile.
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Growing up the church I was going to would scare me by telling me that if I ever even opened the book of satan that I would be going to hell and damned forever. For a while I bought it hook line and sinker. However, I'm older now, and have gone through college and now I am a little smarter than my idiot 10 year old counterpart. So I have read the Book of Satan, and know all about Anton Levay and all the other cult leaders that have come and gone. I'm not really scared of them. However, there is a large number of the population that takes these things so serious that they won't even gaze upon the evil that lurks behind Channel X! Today we are going to review and try to understand a little piece of 70's cinema from Anton Levay called Satanis! So go get a hot beverage and sit down for a second and actually read a little about the Church of Satan....ooooh....scary.
Satanis: The Devil's Mass is a documentary film that was made in 1970 about none other than Anton Lavey. The video was part short film and part recruitment video for the Church of Satan and it is poorly done. It features interviews from Lavey, his followers, and intimate interiors of the church and ritual processes.
The film grain is understandable, this is 1970, but the editing is terrible and whoever was working the camera didn't seem to know what he was doing. We had some terrible movements and camera angles that were just intrusive more than documentary and really took you out of the picture, and that's not the intention, I'm sure.
The funniest part of this film, which I'm sure is unintentionally funny, is of Mormon missionaries talking about the Church of Satan. The reason why it is so funny to me is because the Church of Satan and the Church of Mormon have blood rituals that are similar in clothing, symbols and so much more. It's almost a parallel religion, only one influences a lot of culture while the other is comprised of goth kids, rejects and a few loose women.
The movie ends up being really boring and laughable at times, rather than scary or cult like. The people involved in the services don't even look like they want to be there, and outside of Lavey, this whole movie is just sad. The movie really doesn't go into the philosophy of the church or what the meanings of anything are, they just talk about random stuff and you start to feel that the idea for this film probably came after some drug usage or something, because there is no clear linear path being shown in this film.
The music is terrible. The credits for the music go to Anton Lavey, and that brings me to an interesting thought. Those of you that might be aware of "Satan" in regards to Christian doctrine, you might have heard that he was a "worship" leader in heaven. If that is the case, then why in the world does Anton Lavey (who is suppose to be closest to Satan) have the worst taste in music? Seriously, the sounds of the film really are terrible and dated even for 1970, and I'm not sure why anyone would like it. I mean, I've heard goth music, I've heard deicide and all sorts of "satanic" music, but Lavey's score in this film really is the worst thing I've heard in any film, ever.
There is an interview from a Christian priest, and he really puts the nail into the coffin of my review. He basically says that Lavey is only trying to seek attention in turn doing the opposite of Christianity. I argue that if Satanism is the opposite of Christianity, then you have to be an expert on Christian theology, practice, and beliefs or else how are you going to know how to be opposite? Therefore making this film the most unintentionally hilarious film I've ever seen.
Is Satanis Scary?: NO. This film is laughable. This film might have been scary to some Christians that misunderstood the Church of Satan and were afraid to talk to Lavey or even consider what his message truly was. I don't find this movie offensive, I just find it hilarious that so many people to this day are afraid of knowing anything about Satan, Satanis, Lavey and dare I even mention Marilyn Manson? Why can't we as people, believers and non believers stand up and stop being scared?
This film is hilarious, not scary. It is in the horror section of many movie stores, simply on the notion that Lavey was a scary dude, I mean millions are legitimately scared of "Satan". As a believer, I'm not scared. However, this film makes me laugh even more at the thought of someone trying to seek that "do what thou wilt" mentality, when it obviously only segregates you from everyone else, including your own people! Then again, Twilight was a huge hit, so maybe I'm wrong.
Watch Satanis on dvd, just for the fact that it is suppose to be the epitome of evil. It's not scary as much as it is gross, funny, and irrelevant today and probably forever. One thing that Satanis has going for it, is the fact that it is a documentary so the things you see are real. Now compare those to the horror movies we traditionally watch, and you'll see where a lot of directors got their ideas from.
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I don’t make it a point to trash horror movies at all, even though some of them really deserve it for putting out such stupidity. However, there are some films that I can’t stand behind and try to come up with legitimate reasons for them to be scary or for them to be worth more than a verbal beating. This will definitely be one of the cases as I try to make the best of what is one of the worst sequels in horror movie history. I present for your reading consideration, Troll 2.
Troll 2 is the supposed sequel to the horror film Troll. The two films have no connection, and the movie was originally titled Goblins, which would have made more sense, but in the United States they just called it Troll 2, because they were dumb.
The movie is about a family that decide to take a vacation to the country, and they visit a town called “Nilbog”. Yes, I am aware what it spells backwards, but I won’t go into that right now. Along the way there is a subplot that has a different set of teenagers chasing the family, because one of them has a crush on a girl from our initial family. They of course are the second and subsequent story arc outside of our main story of the family going on vacation. In this small town they meet up with weird towns people trying to make them eat some weird stuff to become Goblins, and they meet also a witch that is overtly sexual in nature, but pulls back when it’s time to have intercourse. I kid you not, this is all a part of the film. The only help the family gets is from their long dead Grandfather who is visiting the youngest member of the family in visions and eventually helps fight off the evil onslaught by going to hell and back, spiritually. It’s really a lackluster concept, trust me.
This movie sucks. I’m sorry, but this movie is a terrible piece of horror, fantasy, and writing. The actors don’t even deliver their lines well, and it’s terribly shot. If that isn’t enough, the movie really follows the most predictable, terrible path you could imagine. The family is comprised of the dumbest people, and the goblins are not really that convincing. They are simply wearing masks, these are masked little people, and they are supposed to be scary.
The Grandpa that is supposed to be dead, somehow freezes time at one point! If that wasn’t enough later on in the film there is a part where you think things are going to get hot and heavy, but instead the movie takes an absurd turn for the worse. During what will commence as a sex scene, a witch puts a corn on the cob into her lovers mouth and popcorn fills the RV that the lovers are in, and this is just hilarious and stupid. Almost as stupid as the “Corn on the Macabre” remark from Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers movie, which for your enjoyment is featured below:
You really have to suspend belief when watching this film. The movie is straight forward in its approach and it is terrible. The film really feels like a made for television, afternoon special for young teenagers. It is just a sad attempt at horror. Even if it wasn’t a horror movie, but more of a horror comedy, it is just terrible. I kid you not, this film is one of the worst things to happen to 80’s horror ever. Oh wait…it came out in 1990!
I don’t mind horror comedy, and I don’t mind bad horror movies in general, but this movie really tried to jump a shark by calling attention to itself by titling the movie Troll 2. The original Troll movie wasn’t the greatest movie ever made, but it is way better than this piece of junk horror film.
For it’s inherent camp value, it is not half bad. I like it on a comedic sense and it is a great movie to share with your friends, if they like to laugh at camp horror movies. Even if you can convince them to sit down and watch this train wreck, you will be hard pressed to garner any respect for this series. If Troll 2 wasn’t enough horror comedy for you, they made a third film, and rumors have it that there will be a reboot done sooner than later. Troll 2, in some minds, might be the best worst movie ever, but you probably won’t enjoy it unless you’re within the company of friends who like bad horror movies. Mystery Science Theater should’ve dedicated an episode of their show to this film. Troll 2 is not a highly recommend film, but it manages to make me laugh, so I gave it a review. I can’t recommend it on any other level or even consider any portions of this film scary. Even Nickelodeon would be hard pressed to run this film on Halloween, as it is that bad.
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When I was younger I would easily get scared at horror movies. The Blair Witch Project scared me the first time, but once it was out on video and dvd, it really lacked the punch that it had when I first saw it. I revisited the movie, just because I thought there was some value to it still, and you know what? It still holds up very well, although the “Book of Shadows” is a horrible encounter with horror sequels. The film was initially released in 1999 and it went on to gross $248,639,099 dollars and was made on a budget of 22,000. That’s huge! I was 16 when I first saw this film.
The movie follows a group of college students trying to film a documentary about the “Blair Witch” who haunts the woods near Burkittsville, Maryland. They are assumed dead as no one finds their bodies, but a year after they go missing, someone finds their footage and we get treated to seeing it.
The movie is filmed with a mix of handheld cameras. This is before everyone wet themselves while watching the horrible film “Cloverfield” earlier this year, and before we started seeing this style of first person shooting frolic through Hollywood movies. The shots are really grainy, and they are not too unlike that horrible film I reviewed called Ax’Em. That’s not a compliment, as I found it terribly odd that I was paying full price to see a horrible and grainy looking film.
The movie was marketed as a true story, and word caught on fast that this was in fact a real documentary and that it was the scariest thing they had ever seen. The first time I saw this I was a big fan of horror and I was easily scared with jump scenes, however, at home I had amassed a HUGE vhs horror collection the likes that you’ve probably never seen before. I was an odd kid, I’ll tell you that much. Of course we now look back and laugh at the stupidity of these claims, however this was before the internet took every single person by storm, as broadband was still not as rampant as it is today. The marketing aside this movie wasn’t really a true story at all and those that still believe it today are complete morons.
The movie goes through various slow moving scenarios, and the climax really gets to you. We’re surrounded by darkness at one point, and then right when you think things are going to really get good, something bad happens, the cameras get shut down and the credits start to roll.
Why is The Blair Witch Project Scary?
The film is scary on a very simple level; fear of the supernatural. Whether you believe in ghosts or not, people are often startled easily with darkness and noises. In fact, I have yet to meet a single person in the world that isn’t scared when in the dark in a strange place with odd noises occurring. We are all scared of darkness combined with noises and this film has plenty of that towards the end. This film also scares us on an emotional level, because the majority of people that saw this film were not country people. We are urban dwellers, living in the city and far away from the forests that will eat us alive if we allow them to. The despair and desperation of people lost in the woods is nothing new, as we have seen it before. In fact, a lot of movies scare us because people are lost somewhere, even the Ocean (Open Water) or a cave (The Cave, The Descent, The Ruins). Being lost scares a lot of people and the main antagonist of this film has to be that the students are lost and don’t know how to get back to civilization, which only complicates the plot further down the line.
The Blair Witch Project is a scary film, but only if you allow yourself the immersion of believing that this is real. Back in 1999 when someone said a film was based on a true story, they were usually talking about adaptation and creative liberties. However, this film combined shaky, grainy, documentary style footage with a loose story that made people really believe. That’s the scary part as well, the fact that we all believed that these things were real, and not just fabricated for movie’s sake.
Now that we are all veterans of horror, and smart fans, always crawling the internet, The Blair Witch Project and The Blair Witch: Book of Shadows, pales in comparison to other films like “The Exorcist” or “The Amityville Horror” in terms of “based true events” marketing. However, at a time when shaking the camera wasn’t a part of production values, this film scared the crap out of a lot of horror movie goers. It holds up well, but only if you go at it with the proper mindset, otherwise you’re going to be bored at the snail pace that you are revealed the footage. I recommend The Blair Witch Project at least once more, and the sequel I would say just avoid. However, you’re not going to be missing out on much if you don’t watch this one again, as I doubt the horror movie world will return to such a vapid sense of instability. It did make for a good time back in 1999, with all the y2k scares going on, as if it were 2008 and the media was scaring us thanks to the economy….but it’s ok, people say Obama will save us. I disagree, but who cares. The Blair Witch Project is not showing up on any top 10 lists anytime soon, but it was once one of the scariest pieces of film making and marketing ever created. But to put it in proper perspective, Limp Bizkit was also one of the top selling rock bands at one point.
As a Bonus, I'll just say this about Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows: It had a great soundtrack. Yep, Blair Witch 2 sucked, but the Soundtrack was awesome. The Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows Soundtrack featured music from: P.O.D,Rob Zombie, Godhead, System of a Down, Marilyn Manson, Slaves on Dope, Death in Vegas, Project 86, At The Drive In, Elastica, Queens of the Stone Age, and dare I say....Nickelback. The movie is horrendous, but the soundtrack is a winner!
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