Friday, September 9, 2011
House of Fallen Review
Every now and again a movie will try to bring the bible to life and will completely lose most of its audience. This is one of those movies, and it completely lost me and I’m a biblical scholar. The movie House of Fallen is supposed to be a movie about or rather loosely based on the Book of Enoch, and wow, it is a slow moving film through stupidity.
I wanted to like this movie, mainly because Corbin Bernsen is in it, and I like him on the show Psych. However, even his acting can’t save this film at all. The movie follows a group of people that start a war with fallen angels, and you get to see it through a thriller/slasher style.
There’s nothing worth noting about this film. It feels like a made for tv film, it is really boring and quite possibly one of the worst attempts at a horror movie I’ve managed to sit through a very long time. I’m not usually put to sleep by the selections I get for this site, but this one did it. I managed to go back and watch it, but wow, what a terrible film.
I don’t recommend this one. I don’t want to talk about it or review it anymore. Just don’t see it, walk away.
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Sorry Sir Jorge but "House of Fallen" is still 1000 times better than anything the British film industry has ever produced. By the way, Corbin Bernsen is a bloody load of old rubbish, the only good things about him are his rampaging heterosexuality and the fact that he isn`t British, its odd that he's prefered to spend the last 23 years with a British bird, A-girl-da Pay's, OK the bird is a gorgeous sexy bird (even now at the age of 52 the bird is still pretty tasty) but somehow i still think he`d have been better off with a gorgeous sexy American bird instead, its almost like he's been a bit of a turn-coat toward's gorgeous sexy American bird's, prefering a gorgeous sexy British bird instead, i cant believe he couldn`t have found a gorgeous sexy American bird who would`ve been just as gorgeous as A-girl-da. Once again i had to change the spelling of the birds name because of my murderous homo-phobia.
ReplyDeleteIs C Thomas Howell scary skinny in this as well? I saw him on a TV movie and if I was not told by the credits that it was him I'd of never known.
ReplyDeleteBleeding Dead, C. Thomas Howell is 45 but he looks 70, Hollywood really grinds some people down badly.
ReplyDeleteJennifer your right, it really does. Another good case is Edward Furlong, he's what early 30's and looks well into his 50's from a bad string of drugs.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, i suppose one might say that Hollywood is THE classic example of the hell-on-earth that we`ve unfortunately created for ourselves as opposed to the paradise that we should have.
ReplyDeleteyes, furlong is lookin terrible, and well anyone in a straight to dvd netflix streaming film is not looking good
ReplyDeleteJennifer that's sadly true.
ReplyDeleteSir Jorge, good point. The phrase straight to dvd netflix streaming film sounds worse than straight to VHS.
Hey Sir Jorge and bleeding dead, always remember that British films dont even deserve to go "straight to dvd netflix streaming film", British films just deserve to go straight onto the garbage heap without ever being seen by anyone ! ! !.
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