Friday, September 2, 2011

Robo Geisha Review

Well, what do you know? I’m back again after a little break to talk more horror movies. I didn’t go to the movie theater and watch anything, because I can’t afford it. My donation button is on the right hand side if you feel generous, otherwise here is another cheap review from the man that brings you bad reviews from time to time. This time around we are focusing on the 2009 film Robo Geisha, yep.

The film opens up in a weird kind of way. We get an odd fight sequence and kidnapping from some sick looking Power Ranger chicks with noses that are obviously dildos. They plow through enemies with hilarious skin and latex effects and then blow (no pun intended) through different pieces while what we can only presume is the “robo geisha’ tries to chop up a senator. As the story goes we see that there is a steel company that is steeling people and turning them into soldiers. Among these are 2 kidnapped Geishas that are sisters and are the future of the assassination group.

The movie then turns into a sappy drama between two sisters that just want to “love” each other. I couldn’t stand these pieces of information. I was bored watching the two-trade sympathy and insults. Even though it was an attempt to humanize an otherwise gore fest, this was odd to me. I didn’t care about the sisters, and I highly doubt anyone in the audience cared either. After these scenes there were some sick moments with chopping people in half, shooting people with guns, stars and other crap. The gore levels weren’t quite as much as the previous 2 films from Noboru Iguchi, but I can’t complain too much.

The gore fest continues throughout the film as an uprising of anti-steel company parents fight to get their children back, only to get killed themselves. As the film continues we get a second plot point and a third, all of which is just tiresome. There is a huge robot that is trying to blow up Mount Fuji at one point, and well, there is an opening for a sequel, that’s where I’ll leave it.

Robo Geisha is an interesting concept, but honestly, I’m tired of these gore movies. The plot was weird, and I didn’t like the constant “sister I love you” type stuff thrown in the mix. I do enjoy the hilarious kill sequences, but the “CG” is getting to be a bit much. I can do without all that, but then again, this is a Japanese B movie and not exactly a contender for the Oscar.

I don’t find this movie scary, but I don’t know if I want to recommend it to everyone. My girlfriend loves it, and still can’t stop raving, but me? I thought it lacked luster in a lot of ways. I didn’t get the same impact I did when I first saw Machine Girl, and that’s what I wanted here. Among the Japanese gore movies, I think Tokyo Gore Police wins out. But I’m sure there’s more to come, as there’s always more to come.

P.S. If you have extra scratch donate. I’m a starving writer.


  1. Hi!!!!

    I'm just commenting to say how much I love your blog.
    I'm from Portugal and I love love love horror movies especially the old ones and I come here all the time before I watch any movie so to know what you thought about it :D

  2. jervaise brooke hamsterSeptember 7, 2011 at 6:29 PM

    Melody looks like an amazing little darlin` ! ! !.


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A writer first, cat lover second, and some other stuff too. Human, with lots of faults, and terrible communication.
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