Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Lair of The White Worm Review

lair of the white worm

Ah yes, I’m back again with another review, and this time around it features Hugh Grant. Remember him? He’s that guy that got in trouble for banging that hooker here in Los Angeles. Too bad he was dating Elizabeth Hurley at the time, man I’d love to hang out with her…but I’ll digress. Lair of the White Worm is the film that I’ll be talking about today, or at least I’ll try to talk about it.

This film is about an archeologist that discovers a rare skull and turns out is a large snakehead. The snake is of a mythical creature that was worshiped there for centuries. Now when an immortal priestess catches wind she steals the skull and then sacrifices it to her god…or so she tries.

The film switches between the nerds and this really hot woman played by Amanda Donohoe. She’s like a snake vampire, and takes out a few people before she kidnaps a young woman and is about to feed her to what is now discovered as a real creature, the White Worm!

That’s about as simple of a plot point I can bring up. However, the film has some strange turns in the middle. There are some weird dream sequences, highly sexual innuendo featuring a ballpoint pen, stewardesses fighting, orgies featuring a snake, the crucifixion, Roman soldiers and so much more. The film goes off the rails so much that by the time you realize that this is a tongue and cheek horror film; you don’t really care any longer.

The film is based on a novel by Bram Stoker and I thought it was British, but I couldn’t find it. It might be Scottish, it might not be, I don’t know. The film was slow moving; the gore was laughable, except for a sick eyeball gauge, which was cool. The white worm effects were quite good, and the vampire/snake woman that gets eaten alive was awesome.

Lair of the White Worm is a cool movie, with some strange dream points. I didn’t really find the acting good, and some of the scenes were stupid. However, there was enough gusto here and there to keep me watching, and the ending was quite good. I loved the White Worm that looked like a penis flying out of a butthole, and sucking up a vampire/snake woman. Yeah, this movie was not a great one, but heck, I didn’t expect much from this 1988 film starring Hugh Grant. The last shot of the film was cool though, even if the rest of the film lacked something.


  1. jervaise brooke hamsterOctober 12, 2011 at 1:32 PM

    This is British rubbish. What have you been told ? ! ? !.

  2. jervaise brooke hamsterOctober 13, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    I`m not kiddin` Sir Jorge, reveiwing British made hogwash like this really does go blatantly against all the greatness that this site is about (as i`ve said before, it besmirches and pollutes the site itself), please dont do it again, all right.

  3. jervaise brooke hamsterOctober 13, 2011 at 3:07 PM

    Hugh Grant is a pile of shit.


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A writer first, cat lover second, and some other stuff too. Human, with lots of faults, and terrible communication.
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