Friday, December 30, 2011

The Best of Scary Film Review 2011

Here is an interesting thing for you to look at, while you're nursing your hangover for New Years. The following list is essentially the best of Scary Film Review for this year. I reviewed a lot less this year because I got a divorce and was screwed over financially. The new year is looking good though, so we'll see how that all works out, but for now, this is an interesting look at the past. I hope you enjoy the list, check out the reviews, and for goodness sakes, please buy something from Amazon.

Lunopolis Review
Mad Rons Prevues From Hell Review
REWIND: Top 5 CHRISTMAS Horror Movies
Fear Itself - Eater Review
Mans Best Friend Review
Rage Review
REWIND: Virginia Creepers Review
The Return of Scary Film
Advertise on Scary Film Review
Red State Review
It’s Only A T-Shirt
The House On The Edge of the Park Review
Smash Cut Review
NIghtmares in Red White and Blue Review
Camp Hell Review
Death Note Review
Marshmallow Ghosts - Corpse Reviver no.2 Review
Scream 4 Review
Throne of Blood Review
Top 5 Cannibal Movies
Top 5 Dracula Movies
Lair of The White Worm Review
Second Opinion: The Hunchback of the Morgue Review...
The Hunchback of the Morgue Review
House of Fallen Review
3 Reasons To Shop At The Official Star Trek Store
Club Dread Review
Robo Geisha Review
Hobo With A Shotgun Review
Donations Now Accepted
Who Can Kill A Child Review
Final Destination Review
Cobra Review
Killer Granny Pledge
Black Cobra Review
Sleepaway Camp Screening Tonight at Midnight
The Dead and the Damned Review
Mad Dog Killer Review
Martyrs Review
The Netflix Scare
Retroactive Review
Sleepaway Camp Midnight Screening July 29 Join Sca...
Robo Vampire Review
Seven Deaths In The Cat's Eye Review
Changes Coming
Ricco The Mean Machine Review
Satan's Blood Review
Prom Night 4: Deliver Us From Evil Review
Prom Night 3 Review
The Maze Review
My Most Hated Genre
Heathers Review
Where Is Sir Jorge
Killer View AKA Snuffed Review
REWIND: Friday The 13th Part VI: Jason Lives Revie...
Satans Slave Review
The Transitional Champion
A Virgin Among The Living Dead Review
The Rat Man
Rabid Dogs Review
The Return Date
A Blade In The Dark And I'm Coming Back
REWIND: Monkey Shines Review
No Review For My Birthday
The Top 5 Urban Horror Movies
Poltergeist II: The Other Side Review
Bachelor Party At The Bungalow of the Damned Revie...
Puppet Master 2 Review
Top 10 Horror Camp Movies
Shredder Review
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan R...
End of the Month Death Toll January 2011
Top 10 Horror Movies of January 2011
Best Worst Movie Review
Tales From The Hood Review
Def By Temptation Review
Howling III: The Marsupials Review
Bear Review
Night of the Creeps Review
Weekend Double Feature Next Week
Jason Goes To Hell Comic Books
Witchfinder General Review
Night of the Demons 2009 Review
The Lost Boys 3: The Thirst Review
Misery Review
The Twilight Zone Season 2 Review
Friday The 13th 4: The Final Chapter Review
Total Recall Review
The Book of Eli Review
Top 5 Horror Television Shows

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Lunopolis Review

I’m late on reviewing this, so my apologies go out to the media group that sent me this dvd, but I have been given a little more extra time, simply because I am broke and my freelance gigs aren’t exactly streaming in like before, so I’ve been viewing a lot more horror lately. So here goes, my attempt to make sense of this science fiction film entitled Lunopolis.

This pseudo-documentary grips you right away with a strange newscast and a strange phone call that reminds me a lot of “Coast to Coast AM”. The caller talks about lunar people and conspiracy theories, but when the call gets cut short as someone seems to snuff the caller out, the film starts to take an interesting turn. The documentary style filming was quite interesting, and we shift from the caller to a couple of filmmakers that are reviewing a box of materials that showed up at their offices.

The two filmmakers go on a quest that features everything you could possibly want with this type of movie. There are moments of suspense, wonder, and yes-even boredom. The boredom lasts only a few moments here and there, and really doesn’t amount to much, as the pacing starts to get better towards the climax of the film. The film touches on a lot of themes that some swear by, conspiracy theories and all. It skewers religion, science, fiction, and so much more.

Lunopolis is an interesting movie that starts slow, and then rushes through some “Blair Witch” style moments before crashing into your screen. I liked it enough to watch it and recommend it to those that like pseudo-documentary style films. This is a work of fiction but it’s like talking to someone like Alex Jones. You’ll like it if you like conspiracy theories, otherwise, you’ll most likely get bored. I love the style, and had to remind myself that this is not a true story, but man, does it work well.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Mad Rons Prevues From Hell Review

When it comes to compilation discs, I tend to stay away from reviewing them, but then I caught wind of this one and had to review it as it was one of my favorite vhs tapes, and now is one of my favorite dvd’s. This is quite the epic preview disc, it features 47 movie trailers, and in the middle of the set ups is constant yammering from Nick Pawlow and Happy Goldsplatt. The ventriloquist act is funny, and the dvd is not just pure trailers, as it has some great comic relief here and there featuring the duo and even Mad Ron!

The trailers are from what appears to be the original previews from grindhouse era films. You most likely have already seen the trailers, mostly splatter flicks, 70’s horror, and lots of gore. The hisses and pops that you would normally get at the movie theater in the 1980’s are all found here, and the trailers are not edited or censored. They feature all that you would have seen in the previous years, and it’s done with some care. Unlike the 42nd Street series, this is more than just a random collection, it’s got a story to it and the whole thing is just a classic.

I hear the vhs version is hard to find, ut with this dvd set up, you have it all! Mad Ron’s Prevues From Hell comes highly recommended by yours truly, and it’s the perfect thing to watch the day after Christmas.

Friday, December 23, 2011

REWIND: Top 5 CHRISTMAS Horror Movies

What? Another Rewind? Yeah, I thought this update was appropriate. We are 2 days away from Christmas, and I haven't had much luck in the way of financial success, forcing me to seriously consider possibly filing for bankruptcy. We'll see if I can get a job in the new year, it's been nearly 3 years since I've had a job that paid more than $5 an hour, but I hope the new year helps. If not, well, I don't know. At least I get to pretend to bee cool for a few minutes every few days with updates on this website. Check out this rewind, and Merry Christmas to Jervaise and all other readers!

I don't do a lot of Top 5 lists, simply because I don't spend a lot of time thinking about horror when it's not time to sit down and review. I know, that's going to stun some people, but it's true. When I think of horror, it's a very specific time and frame of mind, although there are exceptions. I did think about how awesome it would be to do a podcast with jervaise, me and jervaise, oh man, the horror movie podcast world would implode and of course someone would get sued for bashing the British film industry, truth or not.

With the Holidays upon us, and everyone talking about crap, here is my picks for top 5 Holiday Horror Movies of all time!

How The List Was Compiled

Last year around this time I did a whole month of watching just Christmas related horror movies. The year before I did the same thing, but I didn't document it on this site as much. I even spent a lot of time at work watching these movies with my coworkers. We watched so much horror that some of the movies just fell flat, but this year, I started to go back and watch all the Holiday related horror movies that I could. I even purchased some vhs tapes from ebay for the sole reason of watching them for review. I'll review those later, but for now, I compiled my 5 favorites. You might agree, you might disagree, and I'd love to hear your thoughts, because I probably am not going to pick your #1.

I'd also like to mention that I'm NOT putting these in order of best, I'm just randomly throwing out a top 5, so don't go crazy when you don't see your favorite as #1. It's all relative. These are my top 5 holiday horror movies, your list will be different, but hook it up with some comments.



5. Black X-Mas 2006 - This film knocked me out when I saw it. It really wasn't all that good on paper. A bunch of random chicks in a dorm house getting knocked off instead of knocked up? I'll buy it, but I'm not liking it unless there's a bit more slashing, and boy did the film live up. It is brutal, and boy is it brutal. I do not throw that term around lightly, as there are some sick death sequences, and the ending is so good so poignant, and so "Christmas" related. I think the final sequences stole a little from Argento's "Suspiria" but whatever, it's still classic. I didn't give this movie a fare shake when it first came out, but once I saw it on dvd, I realized that I missed out on watching it on the big screen.

Speaking of the big screen, I wanted to mention the fact that I do NOT own a big screen, flat screen or anything. I watch movies on my old UHF analog television, which sucks, but when you're broke, you're broke.

chopping mall

4. Chopping Mall - Sure it might not be a full Christmas movie, but what goes synonymously with the holidays as much as Shopping does? I mean, the poster even says it nicely, "Where Shopping Can Cost You An Arm and a Leg". For horror and science fiction fans that hate robots in general and are scared of what they are supposedly going to do in the near future, this is further proof of their rebellion. The premise of this one is simple, a group of idiots want to stay inside the mall after it closes, and when they do, they end up meeting a Robot security guard that goes rogue! There is an awesome head explosion scene at one point and it's just awesome.

It's interesting to note that The Simpsons did a tribute to this notion when Milhouse and Bart go into a mall after it closes and there is a robotic animal loose. Or wait, is it a real animal? I forget. Whatever the case is, there's a little throwback, whether it was intentional or not, that's another story altogether.

santas slay

3. Santa's Slay - Bill Goldberg vs DDP at WCW's Halloween Havoc is my favorite WCW World Heavyweight title match. That being said, this is my second Bill Golbderg moment. Santa's Slay is an interesting horror movie that is not only rated R, not only straight to dvd, but full of greatness. From the opening segments this film is a hard R and features a lot of gore. It has some great overall kills, Santa does NOT look like an anti-hero, and the ending is so stupid that you'll swear R.L. Stine wrote this crap. It's still worth checking out and it's one of my personal favorites.

childs play

2. Child's Play - This interesting piece not only has a great overall supernatural feel, it was one of the first horror movies that I personally kept renting from the Korean video store near my house. I wore out the vhs from renting it so much because I thought it was rad. 20 plus years later it's the #2 Christmas horror movie. This movie features a present gone completely wrong and boy does it go bad. The movie spawned several sequels and it was sick. I know, it's easy to dismiss the killer since it's just a doll, but it's more than that, it's a killer freaking doll with the soul of a....never mind. It's just a good one.

On another side note, remember that evil Krusty doll on the Simpsons? That was great.

silent night

1. Silent Night Deadly Night - The number one movie is none other than this one. Since I was a kid, I loved this film, and I loved the gore. I loved every aspect of this film so much that when the sequel came out, I bought it. You have to remember that in the 80's if you bought a vhs tape it was not $9.99 it was $29.99 and it sucked. I bought the second one because the first one didn't get a full release because some parents thought it was too harsh to have Santa Claus looked upon as a villain and a vile villain. The story is about a young boy who witnesses the rape and killing of his parents, and hates Santa Claus. The first of the series is quite good, better than the rest, and has been restored digitally with juxtaposing clips of the old vhs transfer to show you how advanced the dvd truly is.

The film features everything you could want in a horror movie, not just a holiday horror movie. It has gore, it has sex, it has boobs, it has teenagers getting their heads chopped off, and Santa Claus getting punched out. Oh and there's this weird sex scene at one point that is followed up by a nun whipping the crap out of them while screaming "NAUGHTY". I still think it's the greatest Christmas horror movie ever made, but that's just me.

So there you have it folks, a little killer list for you guys to enjoy on this Christmas holiday. If you haven't read my previous holiday themed reviews, you can read them here. If you want to help out this blog you can advertise or you can leave a comment and buy dvd's from the links I provide.

Be sure to let me know what horror and non horror movies you like to watch during the holidays and also if you haven't subscribed via RSS feed, go for it, you might enjoy it better than coming back here all the time.

I'll return with more reviews and more scary stupid crap. I'm going to go and read my Christmas Zombies Comic Book, and that's that.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Fear Itself - Eater Review

I discovered that the full series of Fear Itself is available online with Netflix, so I decided to start reviewing the series one by one, giving us a chance to explore certain elements and self contained stories that are found with each episode. The first one that I watched was titled, Eater.

The story seems simple enough, a prisoner and serial killer is placed into a maximum-security prison cell to be watched by a group of police officers. As the night progresses each officer ends up getting killed one by one and our main heroine has to save the day, albeit she begins to find that things aren’t exactly what they seem as there are elements of ghosts, possessions, and well…cannibalism running throughout this episode.

The thing that got me right away was the high production values of this episode. The lighting, the acting, the way the camera moves, all is great. The director, Stuart Gordon really plays on the nerves and fears of the viewer by allowing a variety of spooky things to happen before we get the final situation that is quite gorey for television. The gore really surprised me in this one, as cannibalism isn’t really a topic for regular primetime television, and well, it got into the forefront of the viewer in this one.

Eater is an interesting modern take on cannibalism, and ends like a freight train falling off the tracks. I thought for sure I had this one figured out until the very end when this all unraveled before my eyes. While it wasn’t the most creative of plots, it had enough gusto to keep me watching, even if I immediately fell asleep after the climax…. which is usually the case anyways…never mind.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Mans Best Friend Review

mans best friend
Just when I see one of the best movies of the year, I go back to the doldrums of reviewing terrible movies, and one such instance is this one, Man’s Best Friend. The 1990’s film stars a hot Ally Sheedy and badass Lance Henriksen amidst a cast of idiots that I don’t care to name, in a dog eat man world. Except for J.D. Daniels, he was in the Mighty Ducks, which is quite awesome, if I do say so myself. In this science fiction horror movie, we get to see what happens when science and terror meets head on!

The movie starts up quite swiftly; a lab where animals are being tested on gets broken into by a rogue team of investigative reporters. Amidst their journey into what should be a more closely guarded plant, they let loose one of the horrors of the building, Max. Max is a mutated dog that has the powers (I know, it’s insane) of a leopard, an owl, a snake, and a monkey! The dog forms a bond with one of the reporters and then the movie really goes nuts when she takes Max home.

The movie is laughable at first, then gets even more insane as things go on. Max, for the most part is a sympathetic animal in this film, being abused and having to deal with life away from his natural habitat, which I’m not sure exists. Being a composite of all the other animals in order to be a living weapon makes him the villain, at least to me, especially after he attacks a poor defenseless mail man….whom just happens to shoot Max in the face with pepper spray. Max goes forward with some interesting points, mostly killing people, burying them or eating them, and Lance Henriksen has to try and chase him down and catch him, or kill him!

The movie moves from a sad dog story to a cat and mouse type of film where the whole town (including the police) are chasing this super dog. The film progresses and the final showdown between badass Lance and the dog come to full frame. The two should’ve charged each other to a freeze frame like in the Rocky movies, but instead we get some of the most ludicrous moments. I didn’t know who to cheer for, so I just started to root for all characters dead. I got half a wish in the way the film ends, and then abruptly flashes to dark and the credits roll. Oh right, before setting up what seems to be the most impossible of sequels, and something I hope doesn’t exist.

Man’s Best Friend is one of the worst movies to come out of 1993, but the face pacing and constant blood shed made for a watchable experience. I don’t recommend this one, but then again, I don’t’ recommend much. I liked it enough to see it yet again, and while it doesn’t look that old, it definitely isn’t the better of “dog” based horror movies.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Rage Review

There are a lot of movies that I’ve seen for free, and many of them don’t really live up to any of the hype that I read about them. But for once, I can truly say that a screener has really lived up to all the awards and accolades that they’ve received from around the film festival circuit, which is rare. I’ve seen a ton of Italian, British, and Spanish horror movies this year, and while most of them were ok, nothing gripped me quite like this American offering. Whoever said modern horror was dead or in shambles, didn’t get to see this one. It has all the makings for a horror classic, if only more people would watch it. My first review back from a small hiatus is none other than the psychological horror film Rage.

Rage deals with an emotional situation, compounded by mystery and set to a thrilling pace. You’ll meet a man who’s cheating on his wife but is now ending it. After ending it all with her, he is chased down by a mysterious biker who terrorizes him by beating him up, scratching his car, and chasing him through the downtown areas. After a long day of suspense, he goes home, and all is safe…or is it!

The film immediately grabbed me in an interesting fashion, simply because the quality is high. The film looks higher quality than most straight to dvd type films. In fact, the quality is so high that I’m surprised this wasn’t released by a larger studio like Lionsgate. I was impressed not only by the film quality, but also the editing and cinematography that is shown throughout. Some of the frames are perfect, and reach a boiling point of suspense that is often times just used for scare tactics in larger films.

The human emotion involved with both anger, and what appears to be a karma driven experience is quite interesting to see. I found the elements working well together, especially when our main character shifts from hero to villain and back again thanks to the outlaw biker. (Remember those magazines? I wonder if they are still around)

The pacing of the film is fast, throwing you into the story and giving you just enough background information to get you trusting in the director’s narrative. The film moves from heavy-handed horror to softer paced thriller and suspense. I felt the emotions through even though the actor’s were unknown to me. AT times this film was completely brutal, and at other times it was poetic in a way, but whatever the case is, Rage had me compelled throughout the entire process.

Rage is not for everyone; it has some really disturbing moments, some of which will find critics cringing as a result. I recommend checking this film out, it’s probably one of the best things you’ll see all year, and that’s saying a lot, because I’ve seen quite a bit of films this year. This one takes the hat in a lot of ways…geez.

Monday, December 12, 2011

REWIND: Virginia Creepers Review

I was supposed to review a new film, but got caught up with Breaking Bad Season 4. So instead, here is a rewind.

Virginia Creepers Review

I was given a copy of this cool documentary, that is quite fascinating. Virginia Creepers is a documentary about late night television that was a major part of many a child hood. Much like Elvira and others, there were a bevy of horror movie hosts that would beckon people to tune in and watch cool film. I love it.

I grew up with horror hosts, and these horror hosts would introduce b-movies, horror movies and so much more. I always wondered who would come up with these things, and why it is that the format worked.

This documentary focuses on the Virginia television side of things and not necessarily the rest of the country, but it's poignant. Between commercials and movies came a cool batch of skits and comedy angles.

I'm not too used to reviewing documentaries, simply because I focus more on horror film and the likes, so You'll have to excuse my review for not being incredible, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't check out this amazing piece of history.

For those of us that grew up with horror movie hosts at Midnight or later, tihs is a rare gem. I didn't see the characters they showcased in this documentary, but rather I grew up in Los Angeles where we had a different kind of host.

I miss it.

Television is not the same, and for whatever reasons no one has revived this long standing tradition of cool horror characters. You owe it to yourself to visit this film and documentary and look at how awesome it was to be a horror movie fan yesteryear.

Here's a mini-doc, and some clips from the documentary.

For those that are not familiar with the horror host shows, consider the movie Fright Night, as they have a portrayal of that. Also, see the Simpsons episode where BOOBARELLA is on. Similar stuff.

This documentary is really cool. Despite the name and regional focus, it has a broad stroke and exploration of television and why the format has passed away in a sense. HBO tried to do Tales From the Crypt with a host, but it's nothing like the old days, that's for sure.

I loved this documentary, and it was a nice change of pace from watching the traditional horror movie that I see here.

Get more info on Virginia Creepers by visiting the official website. You owe it to yourself to watch, and learn. this is a good one, and I'm not just saying that.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

The Return of Scary Film

I have to admit, I've been burned out on horror for quite sometime. I spent 4 years reviewing horror movies, trying to make a few cents, and spending a lot of my own money to fund this site's continual rentals and purchases, and have really hit a plateau. I don't have a lot of money, and no one buys with the links I provide, so I had to decide whether or not I wanted to continue with this site or not.

The short answer is, YES.

Starting Monday, I'll be posting far more reviews than you've probably ever thought I would. I will be reviewing anything and everything and from time to time the posts will be longer than usual. I'm open to comments, recommendations, and donations in the form of purchasing things from Amazon for your own good.

This is how it works:

YOU CLICK on AMAZON links, buy something for yourself, and they let me wet my beak. I get 4% of the sale, you pay no extra. It's that easy. Tell your mom, tell your dad, help a brotha out.

Monday, it all begins again.

Support this blog by visiting the Scary Film Web Store here.
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