Monday, June 30, 2008

End of the Month Death Toll June 2008

If you're new to this blog, welcome, if you've been following along then you've probably seen me quit this blog, then come back, and start to seriously review some films. I watch at least 15 to 20 movies a week. I don't know what else to do, so I watch movies.

This month, I didn't review as many movies that I wanted to, so I compiled this first list of movie reviews for easy access. This is the End of the Month Death Toll, meaning that the following are links to the reviews that I did from the beginning of this blog until today, June 30th 2008. On the last day of each month, I'll post a similar list, and you can select what reviews you want to look at.

If you like any of the reviews, or simply enjoy the movies, check out our amazon links on this site, as it helps me pay the netflix bill. I have more movies coming up in the month of July, so stay tuned.

If you have any suggestions, send them my way, and I promise I'll watch and review them. If you have a horror movie blog, let me know, and I'll link you with the recommendation of the film you have.

Thank you and good fright...I mean night.

Wrong Turn 2
Hatchet
The Ruins
Blood Car
Videodrome
Masters of Horror: We All Scream For Ice Cream
Believers
Cabin Fever
Dolls
They Call Her One Eye
Inseminoid
The House on Sorority Row
Planet Terror
Rob Zombie's Halloween
Funny Games
Friday the 13th
Sleepaway Camp
Camp Slaughter
Feed
Wrestlemaniac
Population 436
The Faculty
The Omen IV: The Awakening
Otis
Ax' Em
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
The Curve
Lifeforce
P2
The Machine Girl

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

The Machine Girl Review



The Machine Girl is an insane horror film. Is it really horror? I guess it's more comedy and violence and revenge, not really horrific in the traditional sense. The movie is so insane, that I had to call in wikipedia for the decription:

Ami Hyuga is a tough but otherwise average high school girl, trying to lead a normal life. Her world comes crashing down when her brother and his friend are killed by ruthless bullies. As Ami tracks down the ringleader, she is surprised to discover the bullies' association with a sinister ninja yakuza family. When she goes after her revenge, she soon finds herself in over her head and minus her left arm. Barely surviving, Ami escapes and seeks out shelter from two kindly garage mechanics. They take pity on her, fitting her with a high-powered machine gun where her arm used to be. She then teams up with the chainsaw-wielding mother of her brother's slain friend and together they unleash an unholy, non-stop killfest against the equally creative machinery (drill bra, flying guillotine) of their relentless ninja enemies.


You got that right? If you didn't read that, just figure this film like Death Wish with a ton of blood and effects. The movie really follows a straightforward story of killing, and revenge. (I know I said that already

Ok...I'm gathering my thoughts here....

The movie looks like a Japanese "novela" or soap opera, rather than a feature length movie. The quality of the filming is on par with anything that is being released by Lionsgate in their straight to dvd section of movies. This one has horrible acting, terrible audio dubbing, and a paper thin plot that really doesn't engage you to care.

But that's not why this movie is getting a lot of hype and it's not why people are talking about it. The main reason this film succeeds is as follows:



People getting sawed in half.
Fountains of blood.
People losing limbs.
People getting decapitated.



Here is a trailer for The Machine Girl:



Of course, a girl with a Machine Gun on her arm. Sure you can compare this to Planet Terror if you'd like, but there's more to Planet Terror than this film.

The most horrifying of scenes in this film, is most likely the scene that people laughed at the most. I nearly through up at the site, because I've eaten the stuff, and to think that a human arm could be put through that, just was grotesque. Of course I'm talking about the scene where they tempura a human arm! That's right, full blown TEMPURA! It's sick, it's worse than any of the deaths, kills or slayings in this movie.

If that doesn't get you, then the killer bra might grab you. It's a bra that is chainsaw like in precision cutting of the chest. It's sick, and there's a lot of blood throughout.

This film is the epitome of gorefest. This move is worthwhile only because so many people are talking about it. It's insane, it has a LOT of gore and a lot of blood. I kid you not on this one. I am hardpressed to consider another film with as much gore and blood than this film.

Granted, it's all laughable, but still, this thing is not for the weak of heart, nor for you to watch after dinner. This movie takes things to the most extreme point with a serious face. Although, I have a hard time believing that people really are taking this movie serious. Even the actor's seem not to be taking things too serious...this movie is interesting.

I recommend it as a talking piece, not necessarily as something that is highly credible or artistic. It's hard to watch at times, because the acting and video quality is so poor. But one thing is for sure, there is a lot of blood, and a lot of exaggerated sequences of violence. Maybe that will have you cheering, but for me...Machine Girl was just another poor attempt at shock cinema.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Friday, June 27, 2008

P2 Review



P2 is a scary, torture type film, with lots of tension and lots of sick visuals.

The plot revolves around a young woman who's working on Christmas eve, and gets stuck inside the corporate building where she works. She's relegated to the inside of the parking lot where she is drugged, assaulted, and nearly killed by a psychotic parking attendant.

The film takes its name from the level inside the structure, Parking Level 2.

I first saw the trailer for P2 while watching some other movie, and swore that I would see it. However, I never really got around the watching this movie when it was out. I then, by accident, remembered to pick it up on a whim. It was a surprisingly tense ride through torture.


The movie has some really slick visuals, even thought it takes place underground in a parking garage. The camera work is slick, and the foley sound is great at times, and misses only on a few occasions. The attendant reminds me a lot of Joshua Jackson of Dawson's Creek fame, and it makes me wonder if he wasn't the person that the part was written for.

The main character Angela, makes one heck of an effort to avoid being murdered in the parking structure, and barely misses any help she can get. The typical horror elements are found here.

We get:

The Cellphone that doesn't work.
The dumb police officers who leave without noticing blood splatters.
The Surprise corpse.
The near miss of being rescued by a pedestrian or a cab driver.
The car that won't start.

When you stop counting the obvious, you get to see some really cool puzzles.

For instance, Angela is trapped in an elevator and Tom (the parking attendant) begins to pour water onto it, as the elevator fills with water (from a firehouse that is in the building) she has to open the doors and let gallons upon gallons of water out, and the impact is just immense on this one.

In another scene, Tom drives a man whom he's tied onto an office chair straight into a wall and his entrails burst open and he dies a horrible, gorey death. The gore was quite a surprise, considering that this film didn't really seem to be going in that direction. I would have presumed this film a pg-13 movie, but it worked in the gore into a palpable burst of emotional release, and anguish that was...dare I say...tasteful.

Here is a trailer for the film P2:



Some people call this sort of genre, Torture porn. I'm not a big fan of the term, but we have seen movies in the past that deals with a woman in despair, running from psychopaths, and barely making it at the end. These woman are dropped into these situations with little to no background story or characterization. Most of the time, the psycho's don't get a backstory either, they just simply write it off quickly in a snip of dialogue.

I don't mind the scenario, but it did get me to thinking about past movies. Whatever the case is, this genre is horror/terror, and regardless of whether it's a kid terrorizing adults, adults terrorizing other adults, teens getting killed for having sex, or something else, it's a genre that has taboo written all over it. So P2, even if some call it Torture porn, is a step above some of the other films in the horror genre.

This movie moves quite well, considering that there are only so many things that can happen inside the parking structure. You do sense an urgency of madness and despair from the Tom, the parking attendant, and his anger rises to a boiling point towards the end of the film.

If you watch this film for nothing else, you have got to watch it for the game of chicken that ensues in the film, it is well done, and you might not guess the outcome.


There is no nudity, which is definitely not a plus.

Why?

Angela shows some major cleavage, but we never see nipples when she's freezing, or even when she's completely soaked from the elevator scene. The director and photography guy really tease you in this film, and that can be maddening to some. It's definitely noticeable, that's for sure.

Overall, P2 is an above average film. It does its job so well, but doesn't break new ground, nor does it strive to be greater than a horror film. It has thriller elements, but the sheer brutality and sounds that wait for you in this film are worthy of the R rating.

Other recommended "torture porn" films:

Captivity via Amazon.com
Vacancy via Amazon.com
Hostel II via Amazon.com
They Call Her One Eye via Amazon.com

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Saw V Poster



Here, for your amusement is none other than the new Saw V teaser poster.

Enjoy.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Tokyo Gore Police Trailer



I'm not sure what's going on with the Japanese horror world lately, but here is yet another gore filled trailer that is bound to be the talk of many podcasts to come. Tokyo Gore Police, wow, this thing is gruesome, enjoy!



Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Lifeforce Review



If you remember Cannon Films, you'll most likely remember this logo. It is the original company that released this film. I recall the original logo on the vhs tape that we rented at the video store I worked at, and it was this one. It was well polished and awesome to say the least. The Cannon films were great, and usually featured more graphic violence and terror themes than any other company out there. I even have a Cannon t-shirt...but enough of that.



Lifeforce combines two genres into one hell of a classic romp. Tobe Hooper directs this intense attempt at combining vampire movies with science fiction, and fails miserably to do justice to either side of the coin. This movie is plagued from the beginning, but has a lot of nudity to suffice the fact that there is not a lot of gore to satisfy diehard fans.

I mention gore solely on the premise that Hooper did The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (and part two as well). However, the nudity almost saves this film at times, and is one of the main reasons that I followed through the whole film. The film is based on a 1976 novel entitled; “The Space Vampires” by Colin Wilson.


The movie follows a group of astronauts exploring Haley’s Comet. As the team explores the comet they find a spaceship deep inside and upon entering they discover three beings in a state of suspended animation. The majority of the crew dies, but two guys survive and save these beings, and brings them to earth.

It turns out that these beings are “space vampires” and suck the water out of people, turning the victims into flesh eating zombies. They all answer to one queen bee, who answers to some synapse looking space ship right outside of earth’s orbit.

Here’s a trailer for Lifeforce:


This movie had some horrible effects, but only compared to what we have now. In 1985 these were most likely top notch. There are a lot of lightning effects. The coolest of all are the time lapse effects on the bodies, which explode into dust. These are awesome, and don’t look amateur at all, so I’d recommend this movie just for those brief instances of explosive zombie dust.

Other than that, there is a lot of topless scenes, which is most likely why this film isn’t always rotating on the Sci-Fi Channel. There are no real sex scenes, however, featuring just boobs for about half an hour, with the female vampire 90% of the time nude. However, the director really turns off the sexuality in the latter half of the film, relying on more interaction with the characters.

A major flaw that I found was definitely the short lived character played by Patrick Stewart. In a funny moment, he is paralyzed and is forced to sit in a wheelchair. (X-men) He is only in the film for about 10 minutes, and then is transformed into the female vampire…once again nude!

My personal favorite moments in this film are the exploration of the space ship early on in the film. It really looked surreal, and the astronauts floating through the dead ship was cool.

The ending of this film is horrible, and really just leaves you hanging. If you like King Arthur, you’re going to love this ending, because it’s just like slaying a dragon. It’s horrible, and Excalibur is shown piercing through the alien/vampires and well…closes off the gates.

Not before the city is over run with vampire zombie looking creatures. They die really easy…just wanted to throw that out there.


I don’t recommend Lifeforce to everyone, but it’s not half bad after you get passed the very convoluted plot, the horrible acting on the parts of most of the actors, and the hilarious lightning effects. If you like old school boobs, you’re going to love this film as the nudity is done quite well and is not “fake” as the majority of films these days have.

Oh and….I apologize to any female readers that might find this post a bit too much.

Lifeforce is available on dvd via amazon.com
or your local retailer…maybe.

If you liked Lifeforce check out:

Event Horizon via Amazon.com
Aliens via Amazon.com
Re-Animator via Amazon.com
The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires via Amazon.com

As a bonus, check out the awesome international poster for Lifeforce:



As a second Bonus, here's the official Nintendo Game Lifeforce, which as no relation to the movie, except for the fact that it takes place in Space! Click image to play the ultimate game.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Curve Review

The Curve 1998

The Curve, or Dead Man’s Curve as the poster states, is a lame excuse for a thriller. Billed as a horror film, this movie is more like a made for television Sci-Fi Channel exclusive than a real film with weight or substance. The movie follows along a plot that we’ve seen in a film called Dead Man on Campus. (Interesting to note, the movie title was changed from Dead Man’s Curve to The Curve after confusion with the comedic piece)

The movie starts out with the comedic premise of two room mates trying to get their friend to commit suicide in order to get straight A’s.

Sounds like a carbon copy right? It sure is, and for the most part the comedy alliance ends there. The movie then begins to take a sobering trip through circumstances, investigation, and betrayal, as the characters start to get paranoid.

The film plays out with two friends, fed up with their best friend’s behavior. They begin to buy depressing music, depressing books, and isolating their friend to look as though he’s depressed. They eventually get him drunk and push him over the edge…literally.

Here is a trailer for the semi-horror/thriller The Curve:



There are a lot of cliché’s in this film, such as: the drunken party ending in a fight, a girlfriend gets pregnant and her life is supposedly over, a best friend gets a blow job from his friends girl, and then the betrayals!

If you like twist endings, and have lasted through 80 minutes of this film, you’re going to enjoy the ending. There are a total of 4 twists, and all are just tacked on at the end for that nightmare quality and tone. We get these twists only after the initial suicide victim retells the story, and we see that he was the mastermind all along.

This movie was not really that good, and wasn't worth my time. I stayed with it though, because I swore there was something weird going on in the film, and there was. The plot twists at the end really tried to save everything, but instead it just made me upset. This movie feels like a long Twilight Zone episode, so if you like that sort of thing, this is effective. While, it is not straight laced Horror, there are still dark themes and a drowning...so we'll lump it into this site. If you really want to see The Curve, get it via Netflix, and if you're a huge Matthew Lillard fan, buy The Curve via amazon.com and help me keep getting these horror films.

Teenage plot twists? Not exactly a winning formula, but if you're interested here is some further viewing:

Dead Man on Campus via Amazon.com

I Know What You Did Last Summer via Amazon.com
Scream via Amazon.com
Scary Movie via Amazon.com

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter Review



Well, here we are folks, a mundane Monday and I bring for your consideration: Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. This movie is a cult hit amongst those that saw it on the Film Festival circuit, and film geeks that like to stump people in random arguments over who knows more obscure films than anyone else. This movie's premise seemed to be worth while, but really just fizzled out during the middle, and eventually became another lame movie to watch, when nothing else is on.



Jesus Christ is definitely one of my favorite subjects of all time, on a personal level. But in movie form, things have never been that great. In fact, most movies about Jesus are usually really bad, with the exception of a few here and there, the grand majority of films just don't do the Bible justice.

This one doesn't try to follow the bible, nor even conventional ideas at all. It is like a film student project gone wrong.

I'm not even sure where to start.

The movie revolves around Jesus teaming up with El Santos (A Santo rip off) to fight vampires. Along the way he does a little dance, sings a little song, and works his way through some of the of worst sexual innuendo, kung fu fights, and random run ins with goth kids with fangs. This film sucked.



If you could somehow get past those bad points, you will probably get caught up with the sound. The sound is re-dubbed, from English to English but with different voice overs, to make it sound like a kung-fu epic, rather than an action film. The actual film is also grainy, to give it that grindhouse feel, and it just doesn't work.

This movie just is sub-par in every way.

The only saving grace is that I didn't expect a whole lot from it, and while other horror movies are working with bigger budgets and are bad, this one is just bad with a low budget.

It is somewhat endearing to see Jesus mopping up, like an action star. But overall this hilarious take on Jesus is just too over the top. Then again, there's no other way to play this one out, it just has to be over the top.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is not the greatest dvd, but really, it's probably a lot better than The Passion of the Christ. I always liked to think of Jesus as being able to kick some ass...and in this film, although very awkward at times, shows our Lord and Savior as a cool dude.

Check this one out if you like Jesus and/or vampires or just skip it. You aren't missing out on a whole lot.

Check out these Vampire Flicks for some blood sucking cinema:

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust via Amazon.com
Fright Night via Amazon.com
Blacula via Amazon.com
From Dusk Til Dawn Via Amazon

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Rob Zombie's Tyrannosaurus Rex Poster



Rob Zombie might not get a lot of credit, but this poster might be sparking a huge new movie.

I maybe wrong.

There's not much else known about this, but it should be grand.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Ax Em Review

Ax Em

Some people say that this is the worst movie ever made. It might as well be. This movie is so bad, that I don't even know how to explain it really. So I stole the synopsis from obscurehorror.com, my favorite site for horror reviews, and this is what they said about it:

A weekend retreat at a cabin in the woods for a group of childhood friends turns into a nightmare as a former friend, whose family was killed years, earlier comes looking for revenge.


I guess that wasn't too hard. I'm just lazy these days.

This film is NOT worth its weight, not worth buying, but maybe worth seeing once for posterity's sake. This movie is just horrible. Everything about this film bad except for the movie and dvd poster, which has some ok reference.

The film quality is low budget, but extremely low budget. Like a VHS camcorder was used for this film, which is the worst thing I've ever seen. The Sound quality is not stereo, and I'm having a hard time believing it was even mastered at all. This film is just the pits. The acting is bad, but you can't even hear them talk, and when you turn up the sound there is a lot of hiss and static, proving that there is a bottom rung on the straight to dvd market.

If that wasn't bad enough, there are a lot of unnecessary fade outs for scenes that really don't make sense.

If you're still watching towards the killing scenes, you might find a few things cool about it, but it's really hard to manage, and it just makes you want to smash your television and go outside and see what's up with the world.

Don't buy Ax'Em, and avoid it if you see it in the bargain bin at Wal*Mart, it's really bad.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Mirrors Trailer Is Scary



Alexandre Aja, director of The Hills Have Eyes remake, is the mastermind of this new new horror film starring Kiefer Sutherland entitled: Mirrors. This one opens August 15th and looks creepy as hell. Here is the official Trailer for the film Mirrors:



The synopsis is: A mall security guard becomes wrapped up in a mystery involving a particular department store's mirrors which seem to bring out the worst in people.

It's not look like a bad one, but then again, I wasn't too thrilled with The Hills Have Eyes remake, and felt that Wes Craven's continuous selling out of his old movies are detrimental to his horror legacy. I'll be marking my calendar for this one though, even if critics pan it. I have no clue whether or not Wes is behind the remakes, or is getting cash, but it just seems dumb to remake what is already good.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Otis Review



Otis hit dvd shelves this week, and I thought for sure it was going to be a gore filled ride through some torture porn of sorts. I was wrong, completely wrong. What I got instead, was a boring, half-ass attempt at a horror film. No wonder this film was straight to dvd, it just wasn't that great at all. In fact, Most of the time I was yawning.

The movie revolves around a fat Pizza Delivery man, who kidnaps young women and tortures them in his basement on the premise that they must go to the prom with him. The film opens with his latest victim fighting back and eventually dying. He then finds a new love, and begins the arduous task of torturing her, and well...it just doesn't work out so well.

Enter a psychic/detective who helps find victims of violent crimes and kidnapping. The family worries about their daughter, and this "detective" is a total idiot. What transpires after failed attempts to locate their daughter, the family plot revenge and basically turn into vigilantes, ambushing whom they believe is Otis...only they get his brother instead...and things really spin out of control.


This film has no gore. This film has no boobs. This film has very few good points. The film itself is high quality, and doesn't match a lot of straight to dvd movie that are out there, and rivals a lot of contemporary horror films in the way it is shot. However, the acting is just a tad above low budget, and is saved by none other than Daniel Stern! That's right, the guy from Home Alone & Bushwacked...two comedy classics...or not.

The movie is boring, and only in the end does it start to really pick up, and right when things start getting really good, things turn into a comedic performance and then just end...that's right, they just end. The ending rivals Hellboy for lackluster, and there is no chance of a sequel in this one.

Otis might be unrated, but it doesn't show or do anything to merit such a label and anyone that believed the marketing surrounding this film, will be sorely disappointed with the final product. It really is lackluster to say the least, and I only recommend this one to extreme horror fans, and collectors who must have horror films rather than merely renting them. As far as "torture" porn is concerned, there are way better films in the genre, that's for sure.

Check out the Trailer for Otis Unrated below:



I don't recommend Otis Unrated on Dvd, but I do recommend other torture films:

Vacancy Unrated via Amazon.com
Captivity Unrated via Amazon.com
Hostel Unrated via Amazon.com
Silence of the Lambs via Amazon.com
Videodrome via Amazon.com
Strangeland via Amazon.com

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Rest Stop 2: Don't Look Back Trailer

Rest Stop 2

Rest Stop wasn't exactly that great, so when I heard that Rest Stop 2 was being released, I had to question the Raw Feed people. I mean, I barely even liked their cult release "Believers" dvd. Maybe, the people at Raw Feed made a lot of money on the first release, so they are going to pull out all the stops on this one, or maybe it won't be that good after all. The synopsis is as follows:

The movie tells the story about a veteran from Iraq who is on a road trip with his best friend and girlfriend, who finds him and his partners crossing paths with a serial killer who murdered his brother and his girlfriend a year earlier.


I usually keep my eyes open to these straight to dvd releases, simply because I enjoyed Wrong Turn 2 so much. To be fair, I really liked Henry Rollins in Wrong Turn 2 the most, not necessarily the rest of the movie.

Here's the official Rest Stop 2 Trailer:



I will most likely rent it, because I see all horror movies, and I'm lame.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Omen IV: The Awakening Review



The Omen IV: The Awakening is a made for television film, tried to capture another chapter in the horror movie franchise that saw The Devil born to a couple, and making quick work of anyone that got in his way.

The first three films completed a story arc of birth, growth, and finally reign inciting the Armageddon.

If you saw the first three films, and those story lines are fresh in your memory, do me one favor when watching this film; throw them all out. That's right, there is no continuity in this film, as we get a fresh telling of the Omen story with a female lead rather than a child, and we also get mild violence, no nudity, and no harsh language. Making this the only pg version in the horror movie franchise that made for some awesome death scenes, some interesting generational studies, and scary notions on child birth.

Don't let the creepy covers fool you, this film doesn't evoke the same emotional response that the first three films did, or even the remake did a few years ago. In fact, most of this movie is really boring to say the least.

The plot revolves around a couple that adopts a girl from a convent. As one of the Nuns begins to regret her decision, another dies, citing the beginning of the end of anyone that comes in contact with the child. As the child grows up the couple begin to yearn for more children, meanwhile she begins to exhibit some satanic presence and starts systematically killing anyone that is mean to her.


As the mother gets pregnant (adopted mother) and a new child is on the way, new revelations are revealed about the little girl, who is the spawn of satan, forcing the mother to seek out some stiff answers and causing chaos to the doctor's who have records of Delia's birth. (The sister of satan) The shocking revelation is that she is Damian's sister, and that she was carrying the zygote of Damian all along and somehow implanted it in her adopted mother's womb. This is explained in the film by the doctor, but late in the movie so it becomes a little blurred.

Whatever the case is, things start going worse and finally the child is born, and the reveal happens. Not too unlike one of the latest reveals in history, the child is Damian reborn and has the mark of the beast on his hand and as the mother realizes this she encounters delia holding the child....and with a handgun...unleashes the end...but not the one you think.

Remember when I said that no one ever kills a kid in horror movies? Well, do you really believe that they would allow it in a made for television movie? If you said Yes, then you're an idiot.

This movie sucked. I'm sorry, the Omen films are an amazing work of films, and the Sam Neil Omen III wasn't as bad as the second film that seemed to follow Damian into boarding school. I barely made it through this film, and really don't care for the whole angle that they try to make out of it. It just seems rushed, and uninteresting. It's almost as if the directors and crew knew they had a stinker on their hands and just went into something else.

If you do manage to watch this one, make sure you keep your eyes peeled for the Zombie Church Chorus, I kid you not, right before a random death that you do not see at all.

Don't believe me? Check out the official Omen IV: The Awakening Trailer:



This movie isn't worth it, but maybe as part of a box set, I think it might work.

Check out these other scary kids, scaring adults movies, and the books that the Omen films were based on:

The Omen Box Set via Amazon.com
Rosemary's Baby via Amazon.com
It's Alive via Amazon.com

Books the Movie "The Omen" was based on:

The Omen by David Seltzer via Amazon.com

Damien: Omen II by David Seltzer via Amazon.com


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F*CK That, I Keeps It Reel



That's right folks, I'm back. I decided, when my server crashed over at Video Store Blues that I could keep this pumping juicy bits of horror mayhem, and keep the other one for the other movies that I watch.

I love horror.

I shouldn't just toss this thing, so I'm back....that's right...I'm sorry...

Oh and if you're a horror movie fan, or have a blog let me know, so I can add you to my links on this site.

I'll be back with more horror goodness tomorrow. I'm sorry for the flip flop...I'm like a professional wrestler that claims retirement.

For now...Enjoy this mess I call a blog...I'm back!

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Friday, June 13, 2008

The Happening Twist Spoiler

The Happening

The Happening is the first Rated R venture from the king of the twist ending.

Now here, for the first time, you will read the SPOILERS of the twist in this movie. If you do not wish to read, DO NOT READ THIS....RUNNNNN

WARNING SPOILERS ARE COMING ---->>>>>>>>>








The movie revolves around plants and trees that are giving of toxins, that force people to kill themselves or to simply die. They are based on negative and positives and the more or less you are the more likely you'll die.

Thank you for reading....now go see something else.

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Friday The 13th Obligatory Rant/Post

Friday the 13th

With Friday the 13th Upon us, I figured we would discuss the films...but then Fearnet.com beat me to it! They actually go through the definitive list of Friday the 13th films. So that basically kills my whole review and/or rant.

My favorite one of course is Jason Lives. Lightning hits the grave, and we're ready to roll! It was produced by an old friend of mine named Don Berhns.

But for me, the franchise really took shape when I was a ten year old and I was still playing NES 8-bit and played the ultimate horror video game: Friday the 13th the game!

This thing was awesome, at least to me at the time.

However, nostalgia has not been kind to this game, as explained here by The Angry Video Game Nerd:



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Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Butcher Trailer



Like something from an Eli-Roth film, here comes a film entitled, The Butcher. It's brutal, it's insane, it's from Korea. Proving once again that there are a lot of sick director's out there, and they are trying to make what appears to be a Snuff film, and well...it works. Here's the very extreme trailer, shot in what looks like first person...I don't know. I haven't seen anything this crazy since I first saw the Blair Witch Project trailer, which was seen when I was way younger.



For more information on this one, you'll have to head over to Fangoria Online.

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The Faculty Review



The Faculty came and went, and after all these years it still stands the test of time, in many ways for me. The movie revolves around an alien invasion in a high school. The aliens abduct human bodies, and require them to be hydrated at all times in order to survive. So in this alien tale, the aliens need water to survive, so they came to the right place.

The story follows a group of cookie cutter students at a high school who all have to band together and put their differences aside in order to combat the alien invasion, and hopefully save the world from the spread of this infestation.


The Faculty is filmed really well, and considering the laughable context at times, the acting isn’t really that bad. It starred a lot of up and coming actors in young Hollywood. They all went on to do other projects and Robert Rodriguez, as you know, has gone onto make some very cool science fiction films, including Planet Terror, which I highly recommend.

The movie does take some odd twists, for instance, why are the local authorities the only people called? Why not call higher authorities?


The students seem so jaded in this suburban world, that the masses don’t even realize that they are being indoctrinated forcefully by the Aliens, who start sticking what appear to be worms into people’s brains.

Here’s a trailer for the film The Faculty:




The movie, aside from the ensemble cast, had some very creepy moments, and great chase scenes involving a hot rod. The muscle car is the getaway car of choice, and not since High Tension have I thoroughly enjoyed such a sweet looking car.


In the grand scheme of thing sin the science fiction world, this film walks the line with horror because there is a good amount of gore. For instance, a pencil goes through someones hand, a pen filled with caffeine pill dust and aspirin gets stabbed into someone’s eye, someone gets stabbed to death with scissors, someone gets their mouth busted wide open poolside, and so much more!

Not to mention, there is a really disturbing shower scene in this film, that you have to see to believe. It comes complete with skin peeling effects and cranial dilution.

The film ends on a high note, but overall, it’s fast, it doesn’t take itself too seriously and has quite the soundtrack considering this film got thrown to the wayside in the end.I also am aware that the film does basically rip off Invasion of the Bodysnatchers as well as Disturbing Behavior, but it's not a completely suck fest.

If you have the Faculty, you’re in good company as it is one of the few sci-fi movies that I can watch over and over again. If you haven’t picked up the Faculty, it comes highly recommended, and is available on dvd via our online store.
The Faculty isn’t going to be a classic to most people, but it has enough spills and thrills to entertain you.

Check out some other films by Robert Rodriguez, and definitely check out High Tension too:

Planet Terror via Amazon.com
From Dusk Till Dawn vis Amazon.com
High Tension via Amazon.com
Signs via Amazon.com
Strange Behavior via Amazon.com
Invasion of the Bodysnatchers via Amazon.com
They Live via Amazon.com

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Population 436 Revew


Population 436 is a movie that a lot of people just dismissed right away. So much in fact, that when I was working at a video store for a few years, no one would trust me on the recommendation, and only a select few watched this film. So it sat next to some other horror movies that we cycled through the new release wall, even though they weren't new releases by any stretch of the imagination. We were a weird video store like that, always cycling through what were obviously not new releases, and trying to squeeze an extra buck out of them.


But back to the topic at hand, Population 436; the story revolves around a man named Steve Kady (played by Jaremy Sisto of Six Feet Under fame), traveling through a remote part of the country to talk about the population of a small town, and along the way discovers some bad things.

But before I jump to the bad things, let us consider another story…and I’ll tie it in, don’t worry.

The Lottery was a story where the population control was being implemented by shooting someone via a lethal lottery system.

This movie basically copies the premise and then switches it out a little. The story takes another piece from the movie Dolls, which I reviewed on this blog earlier this year.

Every time someone breaks down outside of the city, they are welcomed into the flock as a replacement for someone that has just passed away. Keeping the population at 436, and becoming an oddity, and therefore forcing the main character to come to the town and fill the void.

The movie really takes a high road in the middle, where the guy from the Census Bureau gets caught up with a local woman, who attempts to help him escape, as revelations of the city are more pronounced to him. He manages to skirt leaving, but the sheriff’s won’t allow such a thing, and this is where you will want to set the brakes on this independent horror film.

Here’s a trailer for the film, Population 436:




Just when I thought this film couldn't get worse, or steal more from others, enter none other than the singer of the band Limp Bizkit. That’s right, Fred Durst is seen in this film as Johnny law, and we’re treated to his acting abilities. I must admit, I didn’t think this film was going to be that good, but he pulled off his role quite nicely, and the rest of the cast tried their best to work with this convoluted storyline of time and space. It really had its problems, and well, it just was lame towards the end.

Steve begins to try to get out of the place, and convinces a young girl to help him do it. Together they forge a plan which ties up law enforcement, and gets him out alive.

This movie could have ended with him just leaving, but the camera turns towards the entrance of the town, where a car has appeared and a flat tire has ensued. Forcing a pair to take Steve and his accomplices place, returning the population to the normal number, and completing the beginning, middle, beginning, end cycle.
Wow, that was a lot of text, I’m sorry.

The movie isn’t that great, but it is palpable enough to be better than most of the films that you find on the Sci-Fi channel. This film, might at one point have been produced with that in mind, and it works well. The camera work is steady, the production values are somewhat good, and the actor that plays Steve, really tries hard not to mess up what could be one of the worst roles ever taken.

I’m not even that upset that Fred Durst shows up in this film.

There is a creepy nature to this town, but the resemblance to The Lottery by Shirley Jackson, is just too much for me, and I begin to wonder if that’s why this movie was intentionally buried at time of release.

Overall, Population 436 is not something that you’re going to be clawing your way to get, but if you’re a collector of all things Tales From The Crypt, maybe it’s something you want to invest your money into. I’m sure you can find it online and in our store for cheaper than most dvd’s, and for you horror freaks, you’ll welcome Population 436 to your dvd collection.

This film has its problems, but so do a lot of other films. I didn’t find it too bad, so rent before you buy.

If you enjoyed that film, or just are interested in more of these sub-standard films, check out the following for a great time, especially with Friday June 13th 2008 coming up!

Demon Knight via Amazon.com
Bordello of Blood via Amazon.com
The Plague via Amazon.com
Ritual via Amazon.com
Tales From The Crypt Series via Amazon.com
The Faculty via Amazon.com

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Today in Horror News Volume 1



In a new feature on this site, I'm going to start highlight some news for all two of you readers out there. We'll have a lot more content coming through here, and I'm working on saving some money to get a microphone. I want to do a Scary Films Podcast, and can't do it unless I can save some money. I have about half of the money now, and am desperately trying to get more money, however it's just not that simple...so if you want to donate, go for it...otherwise hold tight and wait for the Scary Films Podcast coming sooner, than later...I hope.

Here's the news:

Ever wanted to see the top 10 Milf's of horror? Neither did I, but Fearnet.com has the top 10 Milfs of horror, and they aren't exactly pretty. If that wasn't horrifying enough, we have the top 10 dilfs of horror too...gotta love the timing, with Father's day coming up.

How about some more remakes? Apparently there are talks swirling around the Horror world that there maybe more sequels in the planning for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series. That's right, more sequels planned after the remake that happened in 2003...yeah...I know...it's getting pathetic. However, just when you thought that you couldn't possibly get more horror movie remakes, there are those that want to get a full blown Rosemary's Baby remake, which is going to suck too.

It's bad all the way around.

Horror movie recommendations for this week:

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
Otis
Blood Car
Night of the Demons
Rosemary's Baby
Sleepaway Camp

That's about it for the horror news right now, it's not much, I know. However, I'm working on more things, including hustling for that microphone as well as watching more horror movies than you can shake a stick at. I welcome all comments and suggestions...so let me know what's on your mind.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Wrestlemaniac Review

Wrestlemaniac Dvd

Wrestlemaniac is a film that most people will not ever even consider watching. The film is just too low budget, too scarce, and just not something the horror community is going to drool over.

But not me, this is The Scary Films Blog and I watch EVERYTHING that comes through my mail slot. This movie was straight to the point, simple, and definitely creepy on many levels. It also starred the great Mexican Wrestler; Rey Misterio. (Uncle of Rey Mysterio Jr.)

The movie follows a group of amateur porn film makers on a trip to Mexico. They stumble across a ghost town, where someone begins to kill off the crew. The one Mexican member of the crew tells a tale about El Mascarado, and how he haunts this little town, called Sangre de Dios, and he's the one responsible for the slayings.


We open the film with this image, and title, and there is no major explanation as to why.

The movie goes through some interesting plot points, but the best of all has to be the fact that the wrestler/psycho/killer rips the face off of the people, then puts the faces on his wall. The wrestler stalks all the victims, and eventually kills off every member of the crew.


The film quality was remarkably high considering this seems to be a straight to dvd release. Just when I was ready to give up on this one, a true gem occurred towards the end of the film. One of the crew members decides to wrestle El Mascarado! He puts on a mask and tries to wrestle the psycho, which leads to comical results.

I thought for sure that this movie was going to get really lame, but it ended up just being no nonsense horror. The ending makes no sense, as the camera pans up the van that the crew was in, to see the wrestler driving it out of town.

I sure hope this does not mean a sequel, but if it does, I guess I'm ready for another one. Overall, Wrestlemaniac is an ok watch. It is surprisingly short, clocking in only at 1 hour and 15 minutes, and getting all the action started within the first thirty minutes of the films start. There was enough gore to keep horror enthusiasts happy, while having enough acting to keep a casual fan interested.

Here's a trailer for the film Wrestlemaniac:



Wrestlemaniac on dvd is worth a rental, or if you're a diehard fan of lucha libre and/or horror film, you might want to rent this one. It comes from the same company that has been releasing a lot of films straight to dvd, Anchor Bay.

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Friday, June 6, 2008

Feed Review



When people ask me to talk about the most offensive films ever made, one of the films that I talk about is the movie Feed. Feed is available on DVD, but it is one of the most grotesque and unnecessary films I've ever seen in my life.

I first came across this film while working at a video store a few years back and decided to check it out. The film's plot revolves around a psychopath that is feeding women large amounts of fattening food, filming, weighing, and following their weight gain and displaying the stats online.

People that visit a website can gamble on when the women will die, how fat they will get, and how much they will eat.

If that's not enough, there is a very explicit masturbation scene involved the main character, and one of his victims.

The movie tells his story first, then showcases a detective who's having his own relationship problems amidst investigating this case. He systematically figures out what's going on with the women, and a final showdown is shown, although not exactly the prettiest thing put to film.


The major draw to this film is the director. The director's previous work included "The Lawnmower Man" which is arguably a gem of science fiction cinema.

While this draws on the same psychology that Lawnmower Man tried to pull through, it is over the top in its comedic presentation of the victim, the grotesque and unflinching view of women and food.


Like a punch in the face, this film shocks you in a way that you normally don't get shocked with. It's not a gorey film, although there is a slow building body count, however, gore is replaced by soft brutality. Mounds of fat, and hearing the main character cry out as she is force fed pure blended cheese burgers is just a lot to deal with and looks disgusting.



The marketing campaign also revolved around the sheer shock value of this film, and in the U.S dvd release the tagline is: "The Sickest Movie You'll Ever See". One thing is for sure, if the directors main goal was to make the most sickening film possible, without blood and guts, he succeeded. This film is not necessarily scary, or filled with blood or regular brutality or violence, but it's a fattening, gut busting, sexualized, psychopathic piece of cinema that transcends mere horror and turns into a must see and own for any horror movie fan.

In regards to horror cinema, this film will definitely go down as one of the most offensive films, purely because of the premise of feeding women fat until the literally burst. If that doesn't offend you, then maybe the subplot of people betting on their deaths will do you in...and even if that fails to get you, the dialogue, and sounds will tear your psyche a new one.

Feed is available online and in our horror movie store, check out this film based solely on the fact that it is one of the most offensive and disturbing films ever made.

Although, on this viewing, which is my fifth viewing and second time reviewing, it seems to be almost comical to me.

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Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Funny Games Review



Funny Games was ushered into theaters and I don't know anyone that saw it. One thing is for sure, I did.

The movie's plot is really simple. Much like The Strangers, which is in theaters now, a couple of guys show up on an isolated area and terrorize the residents. It begins simply enough by asking to borrow some eggs, and then it escalates into all out violence.

This movie has a couple of key things going for it that other movies don't have.


1) They kill a kid - killing children is the lowest form of entertainment and is sickening in real life. On screen, anything goes, but we rarely see children harmed. In this film, a child gets a gun shot to the chest and is thrown across the room, and blood is seen all over. This level of gore is not necessary, but the violence in this film is expected, since this film is a remake.

2) No One Has a Chance - There are 5 victims in this film, and while the characters do give the victims a chance to live, they make some petty decisions and no one makes it. Or rather, the film decides to throw a curve ball. The characters talk to the audience on several occasions, and sometimes they make you believe that there was never any intentions of letting all the people live.

Those two factors play heavily into this film, which is grotesque on many levels and leaves you haunted by the idea that someone could simply befall on your house and kill you.


Here is the trailer for Funny Games:



The film is shot in a great way, and while there is little to no soundtrack, the film has enough punishing sequences to justify the rating.

While you never really get a lot of background out of the victims, you begin to feel for them. The mother in this film even looks really good...sorry to say...Naomi Watts plays the role great, alongside the rest of the cast. Although, I couldn't help but think about Dawson's Creek while watching this film, considering that one of the main villains was a long time character on the hit teen drama that launched many a career or two.

I generally am not a big fan of remakes, but this one passes my litmus test. It just was too creepy not to care about, and although it's frame for frame just like the original, the fact that American actor's pulled off such a great emotional film is great to me.


The Original Poster for Funny Games

Funny Games
The U.S.A Release Poster For Funny Games

The film is definitely worth watching, and is interesting on many different levels. However, some more discerning audiences won't appreciate the carelessness of the lifes in peril, but then again...this is horror, and well...horror has a whole different set of rules. While the pacing is a little slow, there's enough horror elements to give it a break from the tension. The gore is spot on, even though there aren't a lot of places where this film gets bloody.

Funny Games is available on dvd in store now, well the original is anyways, the U.S version (which this review is based on) will hit stores sooner than later.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.