Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Taint Review


The Taint is a movie I knew nothing about, and really wasn't sure what I was in for, but man, it won me over in the first 5 minutes. The title sequence music and juxtopozitioning was awesome. The music was great, the credits were hot pink, I bought in, and had to pay more attention.

This movie has a lot of parts to it, if not to sum up the plot, just to throw a wrench in your conventional horror movie and even comedy. The plot loosely has to do with a zombie apocalypse, but not nearly as large scale as your traditional zombie flick, but there's definitely a sickness going on, and it seems t obe transmitted through water and zombie biting, eating. Although, there doesn't appear to be a lot of that, at least not at first, as the gore levels rise to obscene levels.

The Gore

Let's talk gore. Most rated R films have some levels, some independents have more, but the gore in horror is one of those topics that I try to mention as a passing review point, but not here. The gore gets a whole category on its own because there is a gratuitous amount of it, to the point where there are scenes dedicated to just throwing a bucket of blood on someone to prove how bloody this movie is. I kid you not, there are edits where off camera someone is throwing a bucket of blood on someone as a direct result of a gunshot wound or something of the likes. That just makes the film so much cooler, and it's a testament to creativity. I love it.

The Music

The music moves through both classical pieces to action movie levels. There is a great deal of jump and the music fits each setting and scene. I enjoyed it greatly.

The Whole Picture

The whole movie is good. I liked the transitions and the flashbacks, as well as the absurdity of the whole thing. The Taint really is odd, the dialogue isn't great, but I'm sure this film wasn't meant to be a true horror film, as it is far more comedic than horrific.

That being said, I was taken aback at the amount of penises that I had to see, even if they weren't overtly sexual, as there were some sick ones shown, usually oozing out substance.

I recommend The Taint, I think it's a great little piece of independent horror comedy, and is going to be hard to top. It is my #1 comedy horror film of the year, and that's saying a lot...or not saying a lot...I liked this movie. You might like it too. The Taint was produced and directed by Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson and boy oh boy did they make something cool. I wish I could be involved with film on this level, but alas...I'm stuck writing and reviewing film for no's been 15 months since I had a job....I hate life...but I love this movie! The Taint RULES!!!!

Here is a trailer for THE TAINT:

The Taint Trailer (NSFW) from Dan Nelson on Vimeo.

It's offensive, it's brash, it's the most creative horror comedy I've seen since Meet The Deedles or Bad Taste or Dracula xxx!

You can learn more from Taint Movie's Website here. In the words of Ric Flair, WOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO! I'm surprised how good this one is, I didn't expect it.


  1. the sneering (homo-phobic) snobDecember 8, 2010 at 2:35 PM

    The problem with the trailer is that it makes it look like a film for faggots (although that probably isn`t the case having read your reveiw). Its just that i prefer to see gorgeous birds being buggered in graphic close-up and POV as opposed to seeing them having their heads crushed in doors or with rocks, if you know what i mean.

  2. That exploding penises. The Taint was great...a Troma movie times infinity.

  3. jervaise brooke hamsterDecember 9, 2010 at 9:32 AM

    Sir Jorge, dont concern yourself with the fact that you haven`t had a job for 15 months (you lucky sod), i haven`t had one for over 30 years and it hasn`t done me any harm.

  4. the sneering (homo-phobic) snobDecember 9, 2010 at 9:37 AM

    I sometimes worry that "the jaded veiwer" might be a faggot because of the picture that he uses to accompany his name. I wish he`d change the picture to one of a completely naked Pamela Anderson in her prime then we`d know he was heterosexual for sure.

  5. Yo, snob, there are some major wrestling scenes in it, so you'd be in hell.

    jaded viewer, you're right, TROMA To infinity!

    Jervaise, 30 years without a job? I wish I was like you man.


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A writer first, cat lover second, and some other stuff too. Human, with lots of faults, and terrible communication.
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