End of the Month Death toll August 2012

Did you really think I’d make it this far in the world of horror movie blogging? I didn’t think that at this point I’d be blogging to an audience of around 20 or 30, but look, there are people that actually like to read the site, even if I’m the worst movie reviewer since Jon Lovitz. This month’s winner of the Total Recall Blu Ray has been contacted and it will be sent via mail soon. Thank you for those that participated in our first major contest in a long time.

There are a few things I wanted to talk about before I give you the links from this past month’s writings, especially for those that are looking forward to see what else I’ll be doing for September.

Contest for September



For the month of September, if you leave a comment, email me, or like me on Facebook you will be entered in a drawing to win 1 Kindle Fire 2 ! That’s right, you will receive a Kindle Fire for your comments, likes, and whatever. This is no joke, you will be receiving a brand new Kindle Fire 2 to enjoy all the movie streaming, book reading, porn watching and web surfing that you can handle.

If you are out there and reading this, I need you. I need guest bloggers to network horror movie sites with and to present writings from. If you want me to be a guest I can do that too, but this is a call to my fellow horror movie fans. If you want to rant about anything, I will give you the forum to do so! Come on down and write for me!

Patronize the Sponsors

I put up links to where you can purchase a lot of different things, and I could really use your help. If you are going to buy something already, go check out the deals and what not that I have listed, I will receive a cut, you will receive your goods at no extra cost and I can finally save up for that dot com and podcast for Scary Film Review. If not, that’s ok. I know times are tough.

The past Month

The past month I’ve upped the number of posts that I’ve made, and I’ve tried hard to keep this thing going. For September you can expect more of the same, and then some. I’m toying with double posts, but it probably won’t happen. I will however be posting more “articles” in regards to horror and what not, because I need the traffic and right now the readership is low, and would love to have more readers and eventually rent out a theater in Los Angeles for a special screening of “Silent Night Deadly Night”. Now that’s a dream….sadly.

Top 5 Hammer Horror Movies

Nightmares Review

Black Sabbath Review

Dreamcatcher Review

Top 5 Best Selling Horror Blu Rays Right Now

5 Horror Collectibles From Hell to Your Door

5 Underrated Horror Movies to Watch One More Time

Demon Knight Review

Introducing Son of Stephen King

Top 5 Stephen King Movie Adaptations to Watch Agai...

5 Favorite Episodes of Tales From The Crypt Season...

Win Punisher Max Volume 1 and 2

Graveyard Shift Review

3 Things Wrong With The Total Recall Remake

Top 5 Most Overrated Horror Movies

The Lawnmower Man Review

WIN TOTAL RECALL BLU RAY

Hey kiddos, if you want to get in on the chance to win your copy of TOTAL RECALL on BLU RAY please drop me a line on facebook or here on my site and you will be entered into a drawing to win!

Next month, I'll be giving away something even cooler, but this month's drawing is for a TOTAL RECALL BLU RAY!

This is how you enter:

Leave a comment here, or on my Facebook Page (see the sidebar). Leave a comment, good or bad, and you’re entered into the contest.

Leave a comment, and that’s that.



This month, you will win TOTAL RECALL on BLU RAY. That’s right, you want all the non stop action featuring Arnold in his prime? Then leave me a comment. The winner will be selected at random at the end of the month when I do my end of the month post.

Top 5 Hammer Horror Movies

The Hammer Horror studio is best known for putting Christopher Lee in the role of Dracula time and time again, and while some people absolutely loathe the movies that came out of the studio, others find the films to be awesome, especially those that mixed exploitation and horror quite nicely. Admittedly, some of the movies are horrible, and boring, but there are some shining gems amidst a lot of the movies that were continually being pushed to the public. Here is my list of the top 5 Hammer Horror movies.



The Brides of Dracula – The Brides of Dracula put together sex and vampires together long before HBO decided to throw it all together. This film from the 1960s has that classic old school feel and while the pacing can use some work, the blood and artistic viewpoint of the Dracula myth is all presented quite nicely. The brides come out of their graves to become the antagonists of this gothic horror picture, and while we get another shot at Peter Cushing in his infamous rolls with Hammer, it’s Baron Meinster that really gets the credit here. I love it, and you might enjoy it too.



Dracula Has Risen From The Grave – The year was 1968 when this movie came out and Christopher Lee played Dracula, in one of the better interpretations of the original tale. When you see this movie you will feel as though you are on set, or watching a stage play, the way the camera moves, the way the costumes are meticulously made, the way the acting draws you in. The whole time you are not sure whether to cheer for the vampire or to cheer for the hero, because Christopher Lee makes the old bastard look so cool.



Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed – A year after the aforementioned film, Peter Cushing reprised his role of an evil Baron, only this time he isn’t a protagonist, he is all bad. This guy is pure evil and he is out to somehow get his way and create a monster that will do his bidding. While some people will be mad at me for including this film in this list due to the strong rape scene, I will say that it’s just a movie and a Hammer movie at that. Grow up, it’s not making it “cool”, ok. Peter Cushing and his monster get the #3 spot, even though Frankenstein must be destroyed!



The Curse of the Werewolf – This wasn’t exactly a great one, but after repeated viewings this movie is actually not half bad. The movie has a lot of slow points, then really picks up in the third and fourth act, with the wolf going nuts and getting beaten and shot. The cool thing here was the mutation scene, which was far better than the Universal Monster movies. Although, my favorite wolf transition happens in The Howling, this one is kind of cool, even though it was from the early 1960s.

Now, at this point you probably are wondering what I would pick for the number one spot, and when you see it, you’ll understand, especially because the poster is so rad.



Dracula 1972 – One of my favorite movie posters is also my favorite Hammer Horror movie. This film updates the story of Dracula and places him in the present (well at the time it was the present), and with an all-new updated cast of cronies to help him. We also are introduced to the descendent of Van Helsing with Jessica Van Helsing, and Johnny Alucard. (Alucard is not a descendent, but teams up with the girl) The movie is a bit dry, but it has some awesome moments with Christopher Lee once again playing the role of Dracula and making it hard not to cheer for him.

There you have it, 5 of my favorites from Hammer Horror, what are your favorites? Drop me a line.

Remember to leave a comment, to be entered to win Total Recall on Blu Ray. Winners will be announced at the end of the month.

Nightmares Review

Just when I think I’m going to get a winning movie full of all the things that I enjoy from the scary movie genre, I get hosed bad. The movie I’m going to review today is a movie that was originally titled “Stage Fright”, but has been changed into the working title “Nightmares”. When I first started watching this, my ears nearly started to bleed, because the accents. I thought for sure I had entered the realm of a British horror movie. Then I scrambled and realized that this was not a British favorite, it was none other than another Ozploitation film, much in the vein of Argento or Bava. With that in mind, I went forth and was completely bored with the 80 minutes of slow moving, piece of crap movie that stars Jenny Neumann.

The movie opens up in a weird way. A young girl discovers her mom getting it on with a random dude. The first thing that I noticed was how tame the lovemaking was. If lovemaking were this tame in real life, I’d be a eunuch. In fact, it’s so bad that I swear the two didn’t even go through middle school health class. This of course traumatizes the little kid, and we fast forward to another place and time. On a dark road we are presented with another odd story.

We see the girl in the back of a car while her mom and her boyfriend or some dude start kissing up in the front seat. They continue to make out much to the child’s protest, and when she forces her hand, kaboom! Mom goes through the windshield and we are treated with some sick gore, and awesome moments of terror. But after this set up, we get roughly 40 minutes of boredom, and I forget why I submit to random crap.

We fast forward to the present time and the girl is now an older woman and an actress and when the body count of her drama peers starts to rise, she thinks that she is the one…but really it’s not what she thinks at all.

Another slow moving movie from the 1980s, and this one comes to us from the Australian film industry, which is usually on point with their exploitation stuff. This film just suffers from pacing, bad acting, and terrible narrative. The story is there somewhere, but it lacks that push that Bava or Argento had when they were making their classic mystery horror pieces. If you’re expecting gore, nudity, or anything else that made this a grindhouse instant classic, it’s void. You are going to be bored, much like I was, and unless you’re a diehard horror movie collector, you most likely are going to avoid this one.

Nightmares is really not a great movie, but it’s not the worst I’ve ever seen. Check it out if you have nothing better to watch, or you’re at work and the website you work on goes down for a few hours. Other than that, pass on this, but hey, buy the dvd from the links provided, I need the money and you need to get a good collection of movies up.



Remember to leave a comment, to be entered to win Total Recall on Blu Ray. Winners will be announced at the end of the month.

Black Sabbath Review

It’s very difficult for me to review older movies sometimes. This movie is nearly 50 years old and therefore I have to really consider the time when the movie was made, the studio, the world around it, and who would actually go and see it. There are a lot of factors that I put into my frame of reference before fully exploring the movie for review, and at times get frustrated with the pacing. It’s hard for me to go back so many years to remember what it was like to see these for the first time, but one must do so in order to get the true essence of horror cinema from the era of the 1960s. Today’s review of Black Sabbath takes us back to the year Kennedy died, 1963. Boris Karloff is creepy, that's for sure.

First and foremost, you should know that this movie is an anthology horror type of film. There are 3 separate pieces within a full movie frame, and that’s not always a bad thing. I like when movies do this, because you really don’t need to waste 90 minutes on a story that has a thin plot, but even though it’s unnecessary so many directors do it, that I might as well save my wrists from typing the thought. The movie begins like an episode of Tales from the Crypt, rather than something you’d get from the 60s, and maybe the producers were trying to capitalize on the popularity of things like the Twilight Zone, I don’t know.

The three stories are set up with a cause and effect sort of scenario, each one starting with a hard push then slowing down until you get the twist that is supposed to get you at the end. The first one is entitled “The Telephone” and it’s a short about a woman who is receiving weird phone calls, only to find out that the voice on the other end would be her tormenter unto death! A mild entrance into horror and despite the woman being a call girl, we get no sense of that, so downgrade a good review to a bad review for lack of boobs! I loved the figures of the 60s too.

The second piece is a vampire tale called “The Wurdalak” which takes us back to the 19th century where a beheaded corpse is discovered and a relic becomes a nightmare for one traveler. When someone comes looking for the relic, the lord of a manner brings them inside only to realize that they are of the undead (vampire) and the mayhem begins. This light romp is nothing like the many other horror tales involving vampires, even the shiny ones, so I found it to be a bit dry.

The last segment is called “The Drop of Water” and it did have a better tone than the previous two. Things go awry for a caretaker when a woman dies and comes back…or does she? A frightening tale of nerves is what we get in the final story and something that reminds of an Edgar Allen Poe story rather than anything from the 1960s.

Overall Black Sabbath is worth a watching, but I’m not sure that I can fathom how it felt to watch this at the time of release. At this point I’ve seen so much horror, gore, sex, violence and beyond that this tame movie doesn’t have the impact that I’m sure it had on audiences at the time. I can appreciate the acting, the easy on the eyes women, and the overall attempts at scaring the audience, but it just doesn’t sit the same with me as some more modern fair. That’s not to say it’s bad, it’s just older, and sometimes-older movies just don’t have that gusto they had before. This is one of them, in my opinion.



Remember to leave a comment, to be entered to win Total Recall on Blu Ray. Winners will be announced at the end of the month.

Dreamcatcher Review

Ah yes, 2003, the year I started college and found out that my future would be a mixed bag of technology, blogging, and whatever else I could do for money legally. This adaptation of Stephen King’s novel seemed to be an interesting thing, but since I didn’t read the novel, I assume that the two are polar opposites, and while some fans were all over this as a positive thing, I was not so receptive to the idea that this was the best that could be done with the source material. Dreamcatcher is the movie I’m going to try and talk about, even though my thoughts on the matter are relatively short, to say the least.

The movie’s plot starts with a group of kids getting telepathic powers from a young boy. They save the kid from a bully and their whole lives change for the future. The audience is then taken to the present where a hunting party has gone awry, and we get thrown into a full blown scary piece of film making. For most people it took a moment to realize what was going on, and then things really get out of control as the gore starts to turn up. Essentially we have an alien invasion on our hands, and things are not looking too good. Not just any aliens, cannibal aliens, making for an interesting turn of events.

By the time we get to the end of the movie, I got bored. Sure, I can buy into a lot of things, but worm aliens seemed to be far better in other movies. I liked the visuals, don’t get me wrong, the visuals were really nice. The library sequences were well placed, well done, and worth checking out. The action is broken up between military trying to stop the invasion, and the companions playing “Stand By Me” amidst possession by worms.

The most exciting things in the film are pushed forward swiftly, making for an entertaining piece, albeit tiring in the way it’s delivered at times. It feels like a shorter film than it is, and that’s the best thing about the movie overall.

I don’t recommend Dreamcatcher, but it fans of Stephen King might love it. It’s available now, so check it out and see if it’s better than I remember it.



Remember to leave a comment, to be entered to win Total Recall on Blu Ray. Winners will be announced at the end of the month.

Top 5 Best Selling Horror Blu Rays Right Now

In my quest to bring the horror, I also want to make sure that you guys are actively participating in the genre by purchasing movies and blu ray releases to help the continuation of the genre. After all, if you aren’t purchasing anything, the companies will eventually stop making the products. This is why many companies shut down like say, Cannon. Anyways, here are the top 5 best selling horror blu rays right now, pick them up with the links provided and please have a nice day.



Halloween 4 Blu Ray $19.99 – The Return of Michael Meyers is finally on blu ray and it looks amazing. The sequel to the original has more of a surreal gothic feel to it, and it is ramped up with gore and violence. This is a far cry from the second and third films in the series, and I for one am excited to see it released now.



They Live (Collector’s Edition) Blu Ray $19.99 – Roddy Piper breaks down the door of the science fiction world with this John Carpenter classic in which aliens are taking over. Paired with ammo and a pair of trusty glasses, he makes sure he’s kicking ass and chewing bubble gum.



The Cabin In the Woods Blu Ray $33.99 – This is the epitome of original horror movies in these modern times. More people were bugging me about this one than any other film in the last few years. I have yet to review it, but it’s on the old “to do list”. If you get your copy reserved now, you save a little coinage. Get it, and find out why this might be the best horror movie of the year.



Grimm: Season One Blu Ray $32.99 – I’m not a big fan of the show, but it is selling like hot cakes. This show takes the Grimm Fairy Tales and blows them out of the water with sinister twists and turns. I do recall liking a story arc involving a wolf…but I’ll leave it at that.



The Walking Dead: The Complete Second Season Blu Ray $48.99 – It took me a while to finally like this one, but wow, it really picked up in Season 2. The zombie genre is going to have a hard time trying to top this shows stories as it continually punishes the mind with both beautiful imagery and sickening gore.

If you are a fan of horror, pick up the above blu ray releases, and help support this blog’s mission to review all things scary, science fiction and horror. Thank you.

Remember to leave a comment, to be entered to win Total Recall on Blu Ray. Winners will be announced at the end of the month.

5 Horror Collectibles From Hell to Your Door

On this glorious Friday, I wanted to talk about some awesome adult horror collectibles that will have you thinking twice. I for one am a big fan of collectibles and have a cool shelf with a few of my favorites. I have the Saw puppet and Kevin Smith in full Silent Bob persona watching me post all the stupid blog posts that you are probably tired of seeing. The following are not for children, as they are more realistic, and not action figures. I ask this much, if you like any of them, click the links and purchase them from amazon.com, as they are my current sponsors, of sorts.

I can’t promise that the following horror collectibles will be worth a fortune for you to flip, but they will make your house so much more awesome than it is now.



The Simpsons Evil Krusty Talking Doll $149 Buy It Here – The Simpsons Evil Krusty doll is one of the more famous pieces from the “Treehouse of Horror” episodes of the Simpsons. If you don’t remember the episode, it’s the one where a krusty doll attacks homer and nearly kills him, until someone discovers that you have to set the doll to good instead of evil. Once set for good, Homer takes advantage of the doll and it becomes like the monkey butler that we saw several years prior. I think. Either way, this talking Evil Krusty doll is a classic horror piece to add to your collection and freak out your loved ones when they least expect it.



Michael Meyers Halloween 18” Action Figure $160 Buy It Here – This limited edition action figure is 18” tall and from the Halloween series. This one has fine points of articulation, full mask, and a knife that’s ready to strike fear in anyone that doesn’t escape his killing path. This is not your average figure, and it shows in the details once you get it in your grubby hands.



Chucky 14” Doll $149 Buy It Here – This ultra realistic doll has been made for posing just about anywhere and he is dressed in his good guy clothing. Add a knife and this one is still capturing the nightmares that Child’s Play originally sent when you first saw it. The points of articulation are quite nice, the joints in the arms, shoulders and hips means that this is the ultimate poseable doll to scare the children on Halloween or to sit and watch you type in the darkness.



Jason Voorhees Limited Edition 1 of 400 Crystal Lake Terror Collectible $699 Buy It Here – If you have serious money to spend, this is your ticket to something unique. Only 400 of these were made and most have sold out wherever they have been displayed at. You can still get a couple that amazon is selling, but they won’t last too long. This features Jason in all his glory fully casted in sculpture on a pile of death with machete in hand. This statue is insanely articulate and will rival any other collectible you might have in your home right now.



Freddy Krueger 18” Talking Action Figure $149 Buy It Here – Last, but certainly not least, this action figure of Freddy Krueger is the perfect combination of collectible and fully functioning evil villain. The articulation of Freddy’s face, hands, glove, and attire are fully rendered like the movies, and you’ll be delighted with the voice work as well. Combine this with the other 18” figures above and you have yourself a crew of evil that will reign over all your collection.

No matter what type of fan you are, investing in horror collectibles can be quite fun and rewarding. Take time to check out what’s available online via the amazon links and see if you can’t find something worth buying today. You can always take pics and I’ll post them up here, or you post them on your blog, I don’t know, I’m tired.

Remember to leave a comment, to be entered to win Total Recall on Blu Ray. Winners will be announced at the end of the month.

5 Underrated Horror Movies to Watch One More Time

One of the things that I can’t stand about horror movie reviewers, and I do it to, is we trash the genre so bad that no one watches the movies. I know there are some bad movies that should never be seen for pleasure, such as Ax’Em, but there are a lot of movies that are actually better than what people say. These bad movies might not sit well the first time, but after watching closer, and seeing the story unfold again, you start to like certain aspects, nuances, and images from the movies. You start to realize that despite the cash grab at times, there is substance to the movie that is worth checking out one more time. That’s why I decided to write this post, 5 underrated movies to watch one more time, just in case you start to like it, after another viewing. This is a hard list to write, but it’s a necessary one.



Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2 – The second helping from Rob Zombie was met with a lot of sighs from the horror community. Even I thought it wasn’t that great when I finally sat to watch it. However, it is actually harder and faster than the original films. Looking at this one more time, I realized that there is some prowess to the directing, and while the plot seems laughable and there are moments that I didn’t really care for, the movie still has impact as far as a scary movie is concerned. It punches you in the psyche hard, and it really does play on your emotions, for better or worse. It’s a hard movie to watch, and not because it sucks, because brutality is turned up to 11, making it a far more underrated movie than people are willing to admit.



House of Wax – People want to focus on the fact that Paris Hilton was in this movie, but you know what? The director and writers let her in there and didn’t let her mess things up. She actually gets trashed bad, and the joke was totally on her, and the audience cheered for it. When the long end of a stick impales her face and a green-lit camera makes the gore seriously sick, you start to realize that this is not just another horror film. The twin aspect isn’t played up right away, but we realize that there are 3 people involved, and this movie starts to get seriously scary towards the end. The thing that made me think twice about the movie was the way the main heroine is treated, she’s not unscathed, she gets pummeled and even a finger cut off for her troubles. This movie is harder hitting than you might realize, and while it’s not the greatest, it is far better than critics said it was.



Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows – The soundtrack made this one better than the first, and the story really turned into a ghost movie rather than a pure Blair Witch movie. This sequel was a cash grab, we all know that’s the main reason why they made this, but you know what? It doesn’t suck as bad as you might think. The movie is a strong ghost story with a killer soundtrack, and while there are some cheesy moments, there are some hard lined ghost points that I find scarier than any of the Paranormal Activity movies.



Black Xmas (Christmas) 2006 – This movie did not get a lot of good reviews at all. It’s a sad thing to see such good remakes get swept under the rug with some of the other bad movies that are in fact terrible. That’s not the case in with this one; this movie showcases what good can happen when horror remakes are treated with care. This film is brutal, this film is gorey, it’s everything you want in a themed, rated R, horror movie. It’s not particularly scary, but it’s got some great twisted moments. You’ll be surprised how good it holds up, and how much better it is than the original film with the same name.



Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation – I’m tired of reading and hearing people say this movie sucked. No, my friends, no critics, you SUCK. This movie is one of the hardest hitting editions of the series. The movie features some moments where you swear the actors have crossed that line between acting and reality, and that’s what you get here. Renée Zellweger gets her ass kicked, and Matthew McConaughey pushes the boundaries of acting and looks as though he’s legitimately choking someone out. Go back and watch this one, and you’ll be surprised how hard this movie was, and how great it is, even if there is some cheese involved.

There are always going to be movies that get trashed by us critics, but taking a second look, and watching closely again will reveal a great thing after the fact. It’s a matter of taking the time to pay attention to things you might have missed the first time. Remember, the links in "red" will get you to where you can purchase the movies, help me by checking them out there.

Remember to leave a comment, to be entered to win Total Recall on Blu Ray. Winners will be announced at the end of the month.

Demon Knight Review

There’s just something awesome about comedy horror, something better than the average thriller and scary movie attempt. Maybe it’s the fearlessness that is involved with putting out a horror flick that has a comedic side to it, or maybe I’m just sentimental over anything with the Crypt Keeper in it. Well, with that in mind, let us focus our attention on another sad sack of a review, this time for Demon Knight.

Demon Knight tells an interesting story about demons (of course) that have come back to the earth to collect several keys of ownership that will send out a legion of conquerors from the depths of Hell. We are introduced to the head demon, and a drifter with a secret, but not before we have some awesome high speed, death defying car explosion to start the program. The car chase and explosion is a classic scene, something that you’d find in a Tarantino flick or something, way ahead of its time. Maybe I just like the way it was portrayed, but the panic was awesome. Almost as good as the car blowing through the motel in Vacancy, but I digress. The story is about one man, a brothel, and a demon that is dead set on getting the final key to the world’s soul.

Throughout the film we are introduced to characters that have to somehow decide to help the demon or not, and they are enticed by things that they really want. From drugs, booze, to women and more, temptations are rampant in this film. When someone refuses, bad things happen, and it seems like there’s no way to stop the onslaught of evil…until we get to the reveal.

You see, the drifter has a secret, a relic that he has which is the blood of Jesus Christ that he has to pass on, and protect. It helps revive people; it helps to create an interesting tie in to an otherwise demonic movie.

The gore, make up, and demons are all top par. There are some minor glitches with the CGI but it’s not over done at all, and you really get a sense for horror timing. The movie doesn’t rely solely on jump scares and stupid chases; there is a certain cerebral aspect to this movie that makes you laugh, and shout when bad and good things happen.

Demon Knight is a funny horror film, sometimes scary, but mostly done in the tradition of Tales from the Crypt, so I don’t mind it at all. If you haven’t seen this in a while, you owe it to yourself to check it out. It’s actually quite good, despite the age. Oh and Billy Zane is awesome, as well as Thomas Haden Church long before he was Sandman in the Spiderman movie. Pick up Demon Knight and enjoy a 90 minute comedy horror romp of epic proportions. I liked it.



Remember to leave a comment, to be entered to win Total Recall on Blu Ray. Winners will be announced at the end of the month.

Introducing Son of Stephen King

Maybe I’m just late on finding out the news, or maybe I knew all along and didn’t want to say anything because I’m a jerk sometimes, but did you know that Stephen King had a literary son? Well, physically too, Stephen King has a son that is also a writer. However, instead of resting on his father’s name, he used a pen name to write his books and before you know it, the media is out and everyone knows.

If you aren’t familiar with the name Joe Hill, well you better get yourself familiar with his work. He is the biological son of Stephen King and his long time wife, and they raised quite the chip off the old macabre block. Other than his work on the comic book series “Locke & Key”, Hill wrote 3 acclaimed horror novels, and is working on another to be released in 2013.

I thought with all the Stephen King stuff I was writing lately, I might as well mentioned junior. The following are two novels that you should pick up today, and support this blog by doing some shopping.



Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill $10.19 Click here – This book haunts all the rockers that dare to read it. The premise of an aging rock star and his final collection piece, the dead man’s suit with the spirit of that which it belonged to, much like you might find in these modern times online. The premise sets up a nice haunting story that is deep in macabre after a set up that is not too unlike what you might consider someone like Rob Zombie to be. However, this doesn’t just sit well on the laurels of his father, he punches you in the gut late in the game and makes you understand that Joe Hill is all on his own and the taste of horror is not just subtle, it’s blatantly obvious.



Horns by Joe Hill $10.40 Click here – What if you had one of the wildest nights ever, and woke up with horns? What would you do? That’s the premise of this third novel from Joe Hill in which a man wakes up from debauchery and has to deal with what is going on in and outside of his head. A rare mix of comedy and horror makes this a romp worth checking out.

I know, this site is “Scary Film” review, but I thought it was appropriate to talk about Joe Hill for a moment before I got back on the movie train. I would like to ask anyone that uses amazon to patronize our links so that I can continue to pay for the lights to be on, and what not. If not, that’s ok, I’ll make it somehow.

Remember to leave a comment, to be entered to win Total Recall on Blu Ray. Winners will be announced at the end of the month.

Top 5 Stephen King Movie Adaptations to Watch Again

They call him the master of horror for a reason, he is the most prolific American horror writer in history and he continues to put out classics each time he settles in for a writing session. While many people will argue that his recent works aren’t as good as some of the classics, it is fun to read and watch the stuff that has come out of his brain and delivered from the hands of others. In this list, I’m going to give you a top 5 of Stephen King Movie adaptations that I feel are the best ones. There’s a ton to sift through, but I’m comfortable with this top 5.



#5 Pet Semetary – The concept of bringing back your dead son at all costs, is a notion that pulls at the heart strings of all parents. I’m not a parent, but I know some that have lost their children due to illness, or miscarriage or even as teenagers, and it’s just a sad state. There are no words to comfort them, and all you can do is stand by. Well, in this movie, that is not good enough, and we get treated to what happens when the dead come back, even if it’s a child! This creepy adaptation works on many levels, especially if you lose yourself in the premise, and are a parent. They made a sequel, but this initial romp is an instant favorite. You can always read the novel if you really want to get into t he story more, but the film is adequate in my view.



#4 The Mist – Thomas Jane puts on one hell of a role here, and the story is so bleak, so terrifying that it certainly deserves a moment in the spotlight of my list. The Mist is about a town that is covered in a deep haze and there is something happening that is killing people. We don’t see all of the evil, but we see how humanity always turns into a sinister and godless place. The ending is so bleak that many people think the movie should have an alternative, happy ending, but no can do boss; this one ends with a…well…bang.



#3 The Dead Zone – This movie starring Christopher Walken really pushes you to the limits, and it’s quite good. A man sees the future by touching others and he sees that there is going to be an assassination attempt on a big time official, so the main character must try to stop it…or does he? This awesome look into what being able to tell the future is like really sits well with me, as I’m not exactly thrilled with the notion of being able to find out what happens next.



#2 The Shawshank Redemption – Ok, this is not a horror movie, but hear me out. There are some scary moments, specifically in the heat of passion where you are caught up and subsequently put into prison. Prison is no joke, as you might know, and this film really plays on the mind in such a way that you only get hope at the end of the film. All the things leading up to it is just savage, specifically the escape.



#1 Misery – I read this book on my first trip to Alaska and it blew me away. The book is sinister enough, but the movie just blew everyone away. One of the hardest things to watch, to this day, is the scene where James Caan gets his ankles blown away with a sledgehammer. This tedious thriller is seriously scary, especially for those that aspire to be great writers, entertainers, or even bloggers. What if your #1 fan trapped you? That’s the premise that we get to run with in this one and it works on so many levels it, well, hurts.

There you go, 5 of the better ones. There's been a lot of crap adapted from the works of Stephen King, which is why lists like these are necessary, if you ask me.

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5 Favorite Episodes of Tales From The Crypt Season 2

When it comes to horror on television, you can definitely include Tales from the Crypt as one of the standout shows. The HBO series really put things into perspective with a long run of stellar 30-minute shows, and of course spinoff movies that featured all the things you’d expect from the macabre. I recently sat down and watched Season 2 and wanted to highlight my 5 favorite episodes from that season, which included guest starts like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Demi Moore, and many others. So here you go, 5 favorites from season 2!

#5 The Ventriloquist’s Dummy – In this awesome episode you get a stellar performance from Don Rickles. Not only is he himself in many ways, he transcends his comic styling by acting really well. We see a washed up comedian and entertainer, idolized by a youngster and the reveal ending that will have you laughing, crying, and probably freaked out. The young child in the beginning of the story turns out to be none other than Bobcat Goldwait and he pulls in one hell of a performance here. He can really act, making this episode one of the better ones, even if the premise of the dummy being a Siamese twin is a bit much. I loved this one, especially with the one-liners that probably didn’t appear in the script from Rickles.

#4 Judy, You’re Not Yourself Today – Carol Kane is so dreamy, I love her acting, and well, she’s hot too. Either way, in this episode a door-to-door saleswoman changes places with our main character, turning her into a class A bitch. However, in the course of the show several changes have to be made back and forth and in the end the Husband must shoot/kill the fake one…but the moral of the story is something more along the lines of gun control than anything else…you’ll see. Did I mention Carol Kane is hot?

#3 Four-Sided Triangle – Patricia Arquette makes a stunning role here as a farmhand where she is nearly raped, then falls in love with a scarecrow. An old pervert figures this out and then tries his luck at sleeping with the young lady, only to get a fork full from his wife. A very interesting, yet odd story that played well in the end for everyone involved.

#2 Fitting Punishment – This story tells a creepy tale of child abuse gone wrong. A funeral director punishes his new-orphaned grandson and cripples him. Then he wants to get rid of him so he does that too, only to get a return from the grave in a nightmare world where the punishment truly does fit the crime. This all African American cast really puts a great show on, and I loved the ending, even if continuity has to go out the window. This is by far one of the better episodes of the show ever!

#1 For Cryin’ Out Loud – First and foremost Katey Sagal is hot, wow! A crooked rock promoter wants to get away with a lot of money, but is trapped by a seductress. However, he finds a way to knock her out, and run, but his conscience won’t let him. His conscience is none other than, SAM KINISON! OHHHHH OHHH OHHHH!!!!! Sam drives our protagonist crazy until he finally goes to the electric chair. Sam Kinison makes this a great episode, and the expressions of our crook are priceless in comparison.

There you go, 5 great episodes from Season 2 of Tales from the Crypt. Personally, this season is probably the best there is of the show, but that’s just one humble idiot’s opinion.



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Win Punisher Max Volume 1 and 2

Hey kiddos,

Sir Jorge here, with an announcement. If you visit my other page, sirjorge.net, you can win The Punisher Volume 1 & 2 for free. No joke. I'm giving it away for the month of August and you can win. If you're interested, if your friends are interested, anyone interested point them there and jump in on that. It's free from me to you.

Graveyard Shift Review

I once had to work the graveyard shift. I was a junior in college and was engaged at the time, so my schedule was pretty hectic. I worked for Ralphs Grocery Store from midnight to 8 o’clock in the morning. However, most of the time I ended up working until 10 to 11 in the morning, and no one seemed to have any sort of compassion for me. I would then take a bus to my apartment or to school depending on what I had to do, then sleep for 2 to 3 hours, before my mom (delivering mail of all things) would wake me up or I would have to go meet my obligations for dinner etc. I hated that time because I had a fiancée that would get mad when I quit jobs. It was a sign, I didn’t follow. For the record, I’ll quit whatever damn job I please, sorry, I’ll digress. The premise of this movie has nothing to do with my grocery store days, or anything like that, but the title made me think about those times when I was working insane hours, going to school, and beyond for a measly minimum wage. With that lead in, let’s look at a 1990s horror film that was base don the work of Stephen King, it’s called Graveyard Shift.

This movie follows a simple plot. A group of mill workers have to come to grips with a horror that is occurring in the mill’s basement. During the graveyard shift people are dying and they are all connected to the infestation of rats in the mill. As the movie progresses we meet with not only rats, but head honcho rat that will take out anyone that moves.

The 90-minute romp is not exactly the scariest of things that has come out of Stephen King’s mind, but it’s got some points of interest. The scary parts are really not shown on film, as much as they are part of the mind of the viewer. If you’ve ever worked the night shift of any job, you most likely will hallucinate. Whether you like it or not, the body just doesn’t want to be awake at that time, and even if you keep yourself busy, your mind wanders whenever it takes a break. The daydreams you have won’t be insane, although they could be, but they will definitely change your perspective on sleep and being awake. The horror I find in the film is having to work the job and rats being there, as I’m not a fan of the creatures. Imagine your workplace full of rats, then having to discover that there’s underground tunnels that lead to death and despair, now we’re talking.

The execution of the film feels a lot like a made for television movie, and doesn’t really flow with modern movies. There are some memorable characters, but they aren’t in the film enough for me to care. You’ll most likely fly through this film and then be relieved that it’s over, but not before discovering what lurks beneath the mill and through the tunnels!

Graveyard Shift is going to be for diehard Stephen King fans. The movie isn’t great, but it’s adequate for an adaptation of a short story. I recommend it for those that want to see it all, and don’t care about the quality. It’s not terrible, but it’s not the greatest ever. Check it out on dvd and let me know what you think.



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3 Things Wrong With The Total Recall Remake

My girlfriend (Amanda) and I went to scope out the new Total Recall remake, since the previews made it seem like a worthwhile romp into the not so near future. The movie is set up quite like the original, only this time it’s trumped up to 11 in terms of realism, if you can call it that, compared to the old one. There are few old gags left in this film, and the Internet will most likely buzz about the three-breasted lady that appears in full nipple glory at one point. If a chance at seeing 3 breasts in full frontal glory is your main reason for living, this movie is going to be your final destination.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I usually like science fiction tales, but when there are blatant wrong points, you start to gather up your belongings as a fan and walk away. That’s how I felt about this one, even though it did have some entertaining moments, and I didn’t feel like it was a total waste of money. Considering the time frame, and how I saw it, I’ll have to preface this by saying that I fell asleep at one point, but that’s because the Hard Rock Café made me a sick drink that knocked me on my ass.

3 Things Wrong with Total Recall

Realism Overdone – The realism in this film is overdone, even for science fiction standards. Every little detail has to be drawn, produced, and shot on film. You get a sense of scale when the final sequences only amass to a small scope of a larger city. In the original, you didn’t feel this huge sense of scale, most likely because it was on Mars etc. This Earth story is interesting, but the immense and complex city structure made for a “who cares” moment when the climax hit full gear.

Villain Problems – When you cast the main villain to be the same guy from “Malcolm in the Middle” and “Breaking Bad” you get a bit of both sides coming through. I appreciated the villain to a certain extent, but he’s a wuss, and I mean that. You’ll see why when you watch the movie. Now, as for the opposite end of the spectrum, Kate Beckinsale can really kick some ass, and she proves it again here. I couldn’t believe how far they put her in the film, far more than Sharon Stone ever had in the original. The villain becomes superhuman at one point amidst a robot army that just seemed like overkill to me.

Light on Story – The story this time around takes the original and makes it even lighter. The story is so light that you spend a great amount of time in high-speed hovercraft chases and lots of reaction shots. This makes for a somewhat boring movie, especially if you don’t have something like Imax to make you feel like you’re dropping with the characters. It relies heavily on this cat and mouse thing that worked in the first film because of Arnold’s constant shifts from running to calmly moving forward to the main plot points. This has two or three plot points and then the rest of the film is running.

The movie is fast paced, holds your attention, but when it comes to the original, it’s forgettable at best. I’d still recommend it for a movie night with your main squeeze, it was worthwhile.

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Top 5 Most Overrated Horror Movies

Mainstream media reviewers usually trash horror movies, but there are some movies that get praised by bigwig reviewers and I have to disagree with them. While compiling this list I ran into a lot of horror blogs that praise the following movies or have loathed others that just don’t make sense at all. It’s in that spirit that I write this post for your enjoyment, the top 5 most overrated horror movies that you can purchase in case you want to have the ultimate movie collection at your disposal, or want to give a gag gift for the horror aficionado in your life.



IT – The killer clown aspect of things really creeped out a lot of people, but when the climax of this mini-series/movie came to a head, you realized that there was just nothing to the master of horror but a giant spider. Oh wait; did I really spoil that for you? Yes, IT IS A GIANT SPIDER! Come on! My senses nearly exploded the first time I saw this movie, and even though the plot seemed to continually thicken until the climax, this one made me seriously mad. Why do so many people swear by this? Maybe “IT” by Stephen King the novel, is better, but this is NOT a quality film. In fact, it’s probably one of Stephen King’s more overrated work.



The Wicker Man – I’m not talking about the remake with Nicolas Cage, I’m talking about the original British Film. For whatever reasons this thing is included in the top ten or 50 lists of horror movies, and many reviewers swear by the creep factor of this film. I once argued with someone on Spill.com (the chick horror writer they have on staff) and she totally tried to play the black magic card on me, when in reality I was totally pwning her article. Too bad I didn’t have the Spill universe on my side, but whatever. The Wicker Man is a slow moving, terribly confusing, awful example of British Film Making. It is the most overrated thing to come out of Britain since David Beckham.



The Amityville Horror – This film came out during a time when exploitation films were coming straight to the jugular. This movie was based on a novel, which was based on a true story. The house that a suburban family purchases is haunted and causes one member to go insane. Sounds familiar huh? The movie did well financially to the point where they made 4 of them, and a remake, and so much more. Sure, it’s creepy on paper, but in film making history? This is another example of overrated horror seeping into the masses. You can’t possibly like this slow moving terrible movie. You have to wait 70 some odd minutes to get 5 minutes of action, and that’s it? Come on!



The Blair Witch Project – Touted as the scariest movie ever made, and millions of dollars later, people said it was. I saw it as a teenager and it failed to scare me at all. Go back and watch it, and you’ll find that this one is the worst piece of junk you’ll ever see. It’s filmed documentary style, it has a sense of urgency and despair, but it is not the scariest film ever. In fact, the sequel is a tidbit scarier than this one if you’re pulling hairs. If you thought this movie was scary, then I don’t know what to tell you? Movies like this are the reason why studios keep pumping out scare flicks that lackluster like say Paranormal Activity…sigh. Way overrated for its time, and not worth your time, unless you’re having a viewing party, in which case, why not?



The Ring – There’s this tape, if you watch it, you’ll pull your eyes out with boredom. I didn’t like this film nor did I like most of the Asian horror movies that were coming out back to back in the United States. Why? Because they were all based on similar premises, and they all had jump scares and stupid moments to make you scared of what’s going on. I for one thought it was boring, and the sequels were worst. The Ring made millions upon millions, and maybe it deserved it, but it really struck me as difficult to watch and boring.

The above 5 overrated movies aren’t going to ruin your life, but you will want your 2 hours back. There are far worst in the world, especially in regards to this genre, but when you get so many people praising trash, you have to gut check again and again. I’m sure you think something is overrated too, drop me a line, and let me know what you think. I for one think these are the top offenders, but I could always come up with more, such as “Drag me To hell” which was the most overrated horror film to come out in the last few years…I guess that should’ve been my number one, huh? Whatever.

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The Lawnmower Man Review

Before I get started, I wanted to point out that Stephen King sued the makers of this movie because they completely wrecked his story. I don’t know which is better, but I am willing to bet that Stephen King had a good reason for his lawsuit, since he won, and the makers had to essentially remove any reference to the original story. So if you hear someone say that this is a Stephen King movie, tell them to go to hell and punch them in the face, because their stupid and not worth your time. (Do not do any of that, jerks)

The Lawnmower Man came out in 1992, and it was met with somewhat positive reviews at the time, and it holds up well for those that are really into cyberpunk. Pierce Brosnan stars in this story of a scientist that is just about to break through with virtual reality. The cyberpunk influences are huge here folks, as we get a little bit of planet of the apes and modern man thrown into one convoluted story. When the monkey (a monkey rather) subjects start to get extremely smart, they snap, and go on a rampage. We see this rampage with a clever POV camera style that is often times seen in pornography rather than cinema. The first person aspects lend credibility to the beginning as we get the conflict fairly early. With the monkey killing spree shutting down the research, Dr. Lawrence (Brosnan) thinks his work is ruined, and well, his life is over…until he sees a mentally ill lawnmower helper named Jobe. He figures that human testing is the way to go and he of course does what any self respecting man of science does, he does it without the consent or watchful eye of his lab or government grant funders.

The story continues with Jobe getting into the virtual reality machine and getting fed knowledge, which is not too unlike the later plot for “Batman Forever” in which The Riddler goes from super smart to insane and in an asylum. That is the story line we are given here, that the stability of a person’s mind is a fragile thing and when you introduce too much information too swiftly, the ego and alter ego go nuts.

The movie is a fast paced rundown of cool graphics for 1992. The visuals aren’t going to win awards today, however, back in the 90s this thing had legs and made everyone clamor for a new 3D video game system to arrive, even though nothing that came out in the 90s really made for a great example of what could be. Remember Virtual Boy? Yeah, that sucked. The visuals here are definitely what’s going to take you back into a mind melt, but the God complex syndrome that is always attached to science is disturbing. Furthermore, it’s odd to see a sex scene where the nerdy guy gets the girl…that never happens, trust me, I know.

Pierce Brosnan really does a good job playing an uptight scientist, even if he seems out of his element towards the end of the film, but he manages well enough. Jobe gets creepier and creepier, and by the time you realize that he’s neither villain nor protagonist, you almost feel sorry for the dude, except when he essentially wants to conquer the world. The ending leaves an opening for a sequel, which was in fact made, and the story isn’t half bad.

I want to also stress that the visuals aside from the 3D renderings are great. The way the camera moves in and out, side to side, and so much more really is high quality. The director of photography really did a good job setting up a lot of the shots here and you can tell there's more to the movie than just a cyberpunk story mixed with elements of "Planet of the Apes".

But wait, there’s more!


Is it me, or does Jobe look like Joe Rogan here?

In the 90s it seemed like the Super Nintendo system was destined to overtake all over systems, and for a while it did. Not only did it have quality games, it also had movie franchises left and right coming to the console. That’s what happened with this and if you really want to relive it, you can buy Lawnmower Man for SNES HERE. You can get into the virtual reality world and play in all 16-bit glory, which is kind of cool, if you want to relive the glory days of minor league video games.

Bottom line, The Lawnmower Man is a cool cyberpunk flick. Those that want to relive some of that 90s horror mixed with science fiction will love it. I don’t personally want to see it over and over again, but if you do, by all means get this one alongside the sequel, and throw a viewing party at your house.



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