Changes Coming

Hey Scary Film Fans!

It's your old pal Sir Jorge. I wanted to talk briefly about a few changes that are coming to this blog. I will be reviewing more movies, I have 3 ready to roll, I just have been busy with writing (I'm a freelance writer). I wanted to tell you guys about Amazon.com and my partnership with them.

Amazon and California got into a scuffle, and they aren't working together anymore. At least not at the affiliate level. That means that the past 4 years of links will still work, but guess what? I won't get paid at all for them. I have worked hard to provide you 3 readers with links to purchase film, and you can do so, but remember I make 0 money from it. This site isn't about money, but I have bills, and student loans etc, which I need to pay. I am not rich, and barely make ends meet as it is. I live in California so Amazon is punishing me, or rather punishing all California residents by not coming to terms.

That's fine.

As for the changes, there will be less links towards amazon, and more horror related affiliate links. Please patronize them when you see them as I need any extra help I can get.

In between posts, you can email me at sirjorge at gmail dot com or you can chat with me on aim thecorporatehero

Look for the changes to be non-intrusive as usual. Thank you for your understanding, continued support, and patience. I'll have more reviews up...including some of the most ridiculous movies I've seen in a while.

Ricco The Mean Machine Review

I was reading the back of this dvd cover and I really liked what the summary said. The box cover made Ricco The Mean Machine sound like the most violent movie ever made. It had pictures of gore, and it talked about how the film was previously released edited and chopped, but this is the first time it was released uncut, and with the original director’s intention. I couldn’t miss it, and so here I am trying to figure out how to review this supposedly violent film.

Ricco The Mean Machine is a slow moving revenge, exploitation film. Ricco gets out of jail and finds out that his sister is living with a mob boss named Don Vito, and his father has been brutally killed. Through the course of the film he seeks revenge, and as Vito finds out, he starts killing off Ricco’s family members.

The movie has only a couple of redeeming qualities. First of all, there is a lot of nudity, as is expected with foreign films. The beautiful women are quite a sight to see, and even better nude. While the sexual situations don’t really do much in the way of portraying realistic sex, it is enough to entice even the most jaded of viewer.

The second thing, and quite possibly the most violent thing I’ve seen in film in a long-time, involved infidelity. Don Vito catches his girlfriend messing around, so he orders his men to cut off the genitals of the man she’s sleeping with, and they proceed to do so and then stuff them into the mouth of the culprit. This is the most graphic, sick scene I’ve seen in a long time, and while you could tell it’s fake, it’s still a sickening piece of violence and gore, that makes this film worth sitting through.

The ending is rather boring, the film slowly crawls to a climax, and aside from about 5 minutes of gore, this film is not that great. The lackluster fight scenes should have been a red flag, but alas, I stuck with it, in hopes of the back cover being right and this movie being ultra violent. Sadly, Ricco The Mean Machine is not that violent or gorey, aside from the genital mutilation.

Satan's Blood Review

Oh, the Spanish, how lovely they are to me. One of my favorite adult movies features this Spanish bird, and well, I wish I could meet a girl from Spain, instead of sitting here on another weekend, alone, no woman, and dateless yet again. But that's neither here nor there, let's talk about the latest film for this review site, Satan's Blood. This 1978 horror movie features the best of everything that is good in horror and then some. In fact, I believe that this film is the best horror movie that I have seen this year, and that's saying a lot, because I see a lot of horror. The film was directed by Carlos Puerto, and recently came to the US in a full uncut, English dubbed version, and boy does it pack a punch.

Satan's Blood starts with a pornographic sex scene that involves a satan worshiping weirdo, and a lovely bird. The movie is so graphic that my sister and stepdad had to nearly leave the room, because it was quite insane. The movie can easily be confused as something unrelated, but trust me, get past the first ten minutes.

The movie slowly moves into a different plot theme. A couple drives through town only to get stopped by another couple that say they went to school together. The two catch up and are interested in going to have lunch off the side of the road. The mountain side castle like structure that the two couples end up at is quite crazy. It appears a lot like Dracula's castle in most horror vampire mythology. Once inside the couples start playing a weird game, and that leads to the greatest satanic sex orgy I've ever seen. Sure, the bumping and grinding wasn't that of "The Devil in Miss Jones" or anything like that, but it did have some similarities. The sexual situations force the couples into a weird union of satanism that really makes for quite the weird next few scenes. At one point there is a weird rape sequence that is never fully explained.

The film moves forward with relative ease, and lots of gore, and sick moments. The film takes the high road towards the end, and I was predicting a trivial identity crisis ending, but nope, the film gets into some strange lands, particularly with the introduction of a porcelain doll that bleeds. The doll is one of the creepiest points in the film, making for a side show horror piece that makes the film palpable in terms of terror. The ending twist is what really grabbed me.

I won't reveal the twist, but boy did it have some great moments. The realization that the whole scenario was a set up for something completely sinister rivals anything I've seen in a long time. I was completely impressed with how the ending turned out, the camera usage, editing, and acting. There were some physical scenes that had to be difficult for the actors involved to create. One such moment was when our antihero chokes out the villains girlfriend, and marks are seen manifesting on the neck of the actress.

Satan's Blood is one of the best Spanish horror films I've seen in a long time. I watch a lot of movies, and this one really grabbed me by the hair and punched me in the face. It features a great deal of sex, violence, and gore. The gore showcased in the final sequences is worth its weight in gold, and the macabre tale is really interesting when the film goes full circle in the end, and we get a moment where a sequel can be made! While this film is not on blu ray, it is worth the high price of purchasing it, which I will gladly recommend and do. Aside from the stupid name, I thought the film pulled no punches, and makes for one of the coolest and slickest horror films. I know, I'm gushing over this one, but after seeing so much garbage, and avoiding British horror, I loved this one, and recommend it highly.

Prom Night 4: Deliver Us From Evil Review

There are a lot of movies that come through my dvd player, and most of them are terrible. But some have some great highlights, despite the bad premise, and execution. This is an example of a quality movie, ruined by bad plotting. Today we will talk about Prom Night IV: Deliver Us From Evil.

From the very start of this film, sex is the name of the game. Unlike the previous films in this series, sex is utilized throughout and anyone that does the deed gets axed. The opening sequence is full of gore, and really sets up for some nice deaths in the rest of the film.

The plot of the film follows a young Priest that is admitted into a group of vigilantes of sorts, punishing any teenager or adult that disobeys God. Stigmata is used as a plot point at one point, and then the rest of the film really revolves around the killer priest, more so than tying up any loose ends that were introduced by the original film's premise.

This film feels like a straight to dvd movie, even though the film grain here is done nicely. There are some nice camera shots, good editing, and interesting visuals when it comes to gore and lighting. I appreciated the look and feel of the film, far more than the actual plot.

The movie takes it sweet time setting up the reveal that the priest is the one killing off the sutdents of a catholic high school.

The movie uses a lot of religious imagery to provide for the juxtapozition of horror and reverance, which is nice. However, the over use of religious iconography gets tired, and the constant notion that the Priest is really an antihero doesn't help matters much either. The catalyst of the killings just seems too obvious, and the name of the film really doesn't lend itself well to what's going on in the process. It's not that the film is lazy, or rather the film makers, it's just that the premise gets so insane at one point that it becomes comedy. I mean, how many crucifix kills can one film have?

Prom Night IV is a movie you have to see at least once. The idea of a killer priest does in fact catch my attention, and the sexual situations found in this film will get eyes wide open from the male audience, but it won't be one of those must see, must own types. If you absolutely must have the whole collection, you'll buy this one. Otherwise, just watch an old episode of King of the Hill or something. The whole badass priest thing just doesn't lend itself well to me. I like the idea, but I have a hard time caring for the throwaway characters, so when they die, I'm glad. They were annoying anyways.

Prom Night 3 Review

Oh boy, I was 7 years old when I first saw this train wreck of a film, and going back to see it, really reminds me how crappy some films can be. Don't get wrong, this film is not the worst thing I've seen, but it isn't exactly the best. The being said, Prom Night 3 is up for review today on Scary Film.

Cue the cool intro music.

The plot of this one is simple. A high school student begins to have dreams of this dead prom queen named Mary Lou and as the two engage in supernatural sex with each other, she begins to help him through a variety of problems, all by killing off anyone that gets in his way. The main high school kid, named Alex, looks far too old to be in High School, and the movie progresses to not only NOT make you care about the characters, but further prove that this is a comedic gem and not a straight laced horror flick.

As the film progresses the death sequences tip off the viewer as to what they are watching. At one point, Mary Lou kills a fat teacher by stabbing him through the hands with ice cream cones. Yes, I kid you not, death by Ice Cream! This kind of creative kill zone, really makes for good chuckles, but not necessarily a great thing for those looking for serious horror.

Unfortunately, despite comedic horror elements, there seems to be punches pulled, censorship in place, and something awry about the editing. Yes, there are some quality pieces of gore make up, but it seems like this film was purposely "tame" for some reason.

The visuals are good, despite the low budget. I'm always impressed to see the early 90's film makers actually put effort into making a film. This is far better than many of the straight to dvd films that are hitting shelves with reckless abandon. I liked that I never felt like I was watching a second rate film, but rather a film that could've been in theaters, even if only in the last remaining grindhouse cinema palaces.

Prom Night 3 is NOT scary at all. In fact, the comedic elements pop up far too much to take it seriously. Sure, there are some quality sexual sequences, and some might find Courtney Taylor's body to be impressive, but outside of some mild sexual encounters, some creative death points, this film really does seem to drag. I wouldn't recommend this one to casual fans, but for die hard horror movie fans, you have to check this one out. If not for the whole thing, at least for the ice cream sequence, because that's worth price of admission.

The Maze Review

I've seen a lot of movies with a lot of premises that are unique, and in theory the idea of a corn maze being the ultimate place of dying, isn't something I recall being used on a regular basis. But that is exactly what we have here, we have the incredible, durable horror cliche in the form of a slasher film called The Maze.

I did read recently that this movie falls under the subgenre of "hoodie horror", which finds me laughing hysterically. That reason being because the main killer has a hoodie on. Ok, subgenres are stupid sometimes, and that's the dumbest. That being said, the killer here has a red hoodie and is like the reverse of little red riding hood.

The Maze is boring. There are no redeeming qualities about a film that has little to no visual stimulation except for the on again and off again thrills, shrieks, surprises, and kills. The main slasher in the film has a pretty cool romp, taking out kids left and right, then gets his own in the end.

The movie tries hard to throw in a hidden gem, a twist to show off that there are still secrets to be had in horror, but when you finally get to that point, you realize that you've just sat through what seems like a made for television movie.

I can go on and on about the flaws, but I think most people will agree that watching an hour of a film about a Maze only to move the setting to a jailhouse and then get the final girl to "tape record" something to finish the movie off, is quite lame. It's like a spawn of the movie "Saw", only with slightly better acting. After so much invested in the title, you'd think this thing would play out in one spot, but nope, it just really derails in the final sequences.

I would stay away from watching The Maze repeatedly. It really falters in its attempt to scare, and really does a poor job of selling the horror of the maze altogether.

My Most Hated Genre

I've been asked recently what I hate about horror movies. Or rather, what I hate about the genre in general. I wanted to write a quick post, in between my next couple of reviews to talk about something that I don't like in horror.

Zombies

I don't like Zombies that much. Yes, I have my favorites in terms of great zombie movies, but there are a great deal of movies that deal with the undead that I do not like at all. Those that I hate most are usually just cashing in on the notion of the rising up of the undead.

There are several sub genres to the zombie mythos that are not quite as bad, bud still pretty crappy. I mean, has anyone seen Bud the Chud? Or what about My Boyfriend is Back? Those movies are a more comedic approach, and rightfully so, but they make the genre kind of lame. Those aren't the worst of the offenders, because Gangs of the Dead really took me for a lackluster ride.

I don't like a lot of zombie movies, and despite the ubiquitous nature of zombies in modern society, I find myself liking the genre less in less.

What about you guys?

Is there a sub genre of horror that you hate? How about identity crisis? Gore? Splatter? Something? I don't know. More reviews are coming sooner than later, trust me.

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