Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Dead Clowns Review
I've seen a lot of bad movies in my day, but I didn't expect this one to be another one of the trash pile. Dead Clowns had some great reviews, on the box cover, and the artwork made it seem like it was a legitimately scary film. I'm not sure sure how I missed this one, because it looked promising, until I got it home and actually watched the train wreck unfold.
Dead Clowns has an interesting premise, a storm sets off events that unleash the fury of clowns that passed away during a carnival train crash years ago. Now they are coming out of the waters and they want to eat the flesh of humans. Zombie Clowns? I can dig that.
The gore effects are interesting, although the camera is frantic, blurred, or blacked out. There's a constant crunching sound as the clowns eat through the flesh, and it makes no sense to me as to why.
Like with a majority of zombie movies, these clowns are slow and yet no one can seem to get away from them. The death toll rises, the boredom matches it, and the story just has tons of holes in it.
Oh and if the lackluster, slow moving clown zombies aren't bad enough for you, this film is shot with a handy cam and HD adapter, and is poorly acted, constructed and told. The “real” storm footage spliced into make it seem like the area is in fact getting stormed upon is terrible, and only leads me to hate Lionsgate.
Then I was reminded of a story. I knew a director of horror films and he said that Lionsgate at one point, and most likely still, buys independently produced horror film at around 50K a pop, repackages them and then re-releases them on dvd. That's what happened here, some independent got some cash to get the Liongsate release and BOOOM they are getting gigs....right?
This film isn't worth analyzing further, and really isn't worth much time. Sure, it has some gore, sure it has zombie clowns, but despite the idea being solid, the film is boring, slow paced, and really reaching towards the bottom of the barrel of what can be justified as entertainment. Whoever positively reviewed this film for the quotes on the box, should be shot, because this one is a terrible film.