August 2012 Scary Film Review Contest and More

What’s up people? I’ve been running on fumes lately, and that’s because I’ve been writing a lot for my official blog sirjorge.net, which you can visit whenever you’d like. It’s not a horror movie site at all, so don’t get freaked out by the content that has nothing to do with horror.

I wanted to start off August with a bang, and so I’m introducing something awesome. Every month I’m giving stuff away. Yes, that’s right, you can win stuff from Scary Film Review! This will run every month, and well, that’s that.

This is how you enter:

Leave a comment here, or on my Facebook Page (see the sidebar). Leave a comment, good or bad, and you’re entered into the contest.

Leave a comment, and that’s that.



This month, you will win TOTAL RECALL on BLU RAY. That’s right, you want all the non stop action featuring Arnold in his prime? Then leave me a comment. The winner will be selected at random at the end of the month when I do my end of the month post.

Patronize the Sponsors

Once again, if you’re going to use Amazon online, please use the links provided.

More Reviews

I am going to be posting a lot more reviews, and this time it’s real, it’s damn real. If you have suggestions, throw them at me, and I’ll try my best to get to them. I’ll be doing more reviews, more content, and lots more. I want to make this site produce far more than it has in the past, and I still dream of one day bringing the whole thing over to a dot com. Until then, all I have is this.

Scary Movie Podcast?

I have been throwing around the idea for quite sometime, but so far I don’t have the funds to get it done. Maybe one day we can do it, unless you out there have equipment and want to do a show. I’lll gladly help.

Until then, here are the posts from July 2012:

Horror Box Sets You Need Today
Twilight Zone Tuesdays: The Grave Review
3 Books to Scare Hell Into You
The Langoliers Review
Dahmer Review
Extreme Measures Review
The Grey Review
Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies Review
Top 5 Horror Movies Based on Novels

End of the Month Deathtoll May 2012

Well folks, it's the end of May, and that means I post a list of reviews I did this month. Here are the reviews I did, and you know you like it. If you missed anything, here you go. For June, I'll be reviewing as much as possible, as I'm making a commitment to not only review more Twilight Zone, but also anything horror I can get my hands on.

You can always link to this page, send me a message, recommendations and so much more via comments or my email sir jorge at gmail dot com. Thanks for reading, thanks for patronizing the sponsors, etc.

The First Movie To Scare Me in a Long Time: S&Man

A Pseudo Snuff Film Turns Boring – Behind the Mask...

Return To Horror High or Return of Bad Slasher Com...

5 Slashers Worth Buying Right Now

I Know What You Did Last Summer and It was Full of...

Twilight Zone Tuesdays: I Just Want To Be Santa

Halloween Resurrection Brings Hip Hop To Horror

Twilight Zone Tuesdays: The Silence Bewilders Gamb...

May Is For Slashers

Horror Links From February 2012

Here is the quick links for the past month of horror movies that I reviewed/wrote. Not much, but hey, I'm working on updating far more often than not.

Dollman vs Demonic Toys Review

Top 5 Worst Time Travel Movies Ever Made

Waxwork Review

Fright Night Review

10 To Midnight Review

Hostel 3 Review

You can see all the other Reviews by Clicking Here

From The Mailbag End of November 2010 Edition

From the mailbag is back once again, only because we're a couple of posts away from the end of the month. Before I dive into your feedback, I want to make sure you guys were aware of a couple of quick things.

First and foremost, this December I will NOT be doing a "holiday of horrors" like I did last year. If you have forgotten, last year I wrote reviews specifically in the "holiday horror" category, and this year I'm not going to do that. But I will be doing reviews, so stay tuned.

Secondly, on a personal note, I still haven't found any type of employment. With that being said, if you deem it necessary to purchase movies and media this holiday season, please utilize the amazon links found on this page, to do so. Thank you.

Now, for the comments, and a few of my own zingers, but mostly you guys. Jervaise, some of your comments don't really require my response, as there is nothing more to say.

Anonymous said in regards to my "Silent Hill Review":

You're crazy! I Love silent hill!

Nope. You're wrong.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Wind Chill Review":

I want to bugger Emily Blunt in her arse not her cunt...HA..HA..HA..(as she was in 2001 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously) its just such a shame thats shes British rubbish. By the way, i actually thought that "Wind Chill" was rather cosy, soothing and even perhaps kinda` charming in certain ways and i think it might achieve a cult following or even become a Christmas favorite for those reasons.

I highly doubt it will be a cult following induced film, in fact, but I'm usually wrong.

Anonymous said in regards to my "Silent Hill Review":

I don't like your opinion on silent hill. You must be really boring.

I am boring, that's why I write a blog and you leave "anonymous" comments.

Anonymous said in regards to my "Silent Hill Review":

The first time i saw this movie, i was sitting alone. what i wasnt excpecting was the town being silent hill. however, this wovie inspired me to write my own silent novel based on a young boy. Silent hill is an amzaazzzzzing movie! ~16 year old girl~

When I was 16, I had already seen all the British film industries finest, and therefore my taste was terrible. Apparently, yours is too.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "REWIND: Take Me Down To Nightmare City Where The G...":

The thing i like most about Italian horror films is that they`re not British.

Hahah, come on man, come on! There's more to like than just that.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Final Stab Review":

Sir Jorge, google "Lisa Phillips Vintage Porn" as well, she was pretty amazing too (although not as incredible as the astonishing Miss Hickey obviously) its just a shame she is British. By the way, i think Pauline is Irish so thats not quite as bad thankfully.

I see...I see.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my American Werewolf in London review:

I`ve always regarded "An American Werewolf In London" as one of the most ludicrously over-rated horror movies in the history of cinema (and not just because it was shot in England, although that doesn`t help things either obviously). "The Howling" (released around the same time) is 100 times better. Why couldn`t the werewolf have been in New York or Tokyo or Berlin or Los Angeles or..or..any-fucking-where except fucking London? then it would have been a much better movie.

Sir Jorge, i was just looking at the cast list of the latest Harry Potter movie and seeing the names of all that British filth literally made me want to vomit, BLOODY BRITISH GARBAGE. By the way, i want to bugger Emma Watson even if she is British rubbish.

Your consistency on the topic of anti-London and all this British is astounding. I still want to visit the place.

The World of Lurlene Mcdaniel said in regards to my "Return To Cabin By The Lake Review":

I hate this movie for the fact that once again that creepy fucker is still alive.

i mean wtf.

i love judd nelson though, idk why but i guess it was because he was so awesome in that tales from the crypt episode "what's cookin" where he played that sidekick cook named gaston, who would slaughter people and cook them. Disturbing, but i liked the character he played in that film.

Hmm...Nelson in Tales from the Crypt? I'll have to check it out. This movie though, terrible, I can't believe I sat through it and the sequel.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Silent Hill Review":

"Silent Hill" was a real surprise to me because i genuinely thought it was one of the best films i`ve ever seen (literally). By the way, i want to bugger Radha Mitchell (as she was in 1991 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously). I just realised Jodelle Ferland just turned 16 so 2 years from now i`ll be desperately wanting to get my knob up her bum as well.

The best? Wow, that's a new low.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "REWIND: Ghoulies II Review":

Sir Jorge, i wonder if the British film industry could ever produce anything as good as "Ghoulies II"?, i very much doubt it !!!.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to "Return To Cabin By The Lake Review":

I just visited lurlene`s site and although she obviously isn`t 18 i`d still love to bugger her senseless.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my"An American Werewolf in London Review":

So that Potter garbage made $125 million dollars in its opening week-end, the American movie going public should be absolutely ashamed of themselves for encouraging this British made celluloid dog-shit (and for 10 years now as well), you`d have thought that they would have realised what a pile of shit Harry Potter was 20 minutes into the first movie but here they are 10 years later still buying into what is the most pathetic and laughable franchise of all time, its beyond my comprehension how such a vast number of people can allow themselves to be conned for so long by such unwatchable rubbish.

It might be unwatchable for us, but apparently 100+ millions of dollars worth of tickets were sold.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my"Final Stab Review":

Sir Jorge, have you seen that incredible bird who runs that horror movie reveiw site called "Mermaid Heather"?, the birds called Heather Santrous and i think the bird is one of the most gorgeous little darlin`s i`ve ever seen.

I see...hmm...It's on my radar.

The World of Lurlene Mcdaniel said in regards to my "REWIND: Santa's Slay Review":

dude, I love Santa's slay. That movie was awesome.

i remember first watching it on fear net all the way and ever since then, I immediately fell in love with the movie. Everything you said is true, and i gotta say, bill goldberg was great playing evil santa claus.

don't forget, the chick who played the female protagonist also played evil bitchy Chris farguson in the remake of carrie (2002).

Yes, it's one of the rare Holiday Horror film gems. I'll have to rewatch Carrie from 2002.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "REWIND: A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Reve...":

The pansy queer bullshit in this movie completely spoilt it for me, dirty faggots they always spoil every film they`re involved with. By the way, i hate Robert Englunds surname (for obvious reasons).

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "REWIND: Silver Bullet Review":

2 things i like about Stephen King: Hes heterosexual and he isn`t British.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "They Call Her One Eye Review":

I want to bugger Christina Lindberg (as she was at the time this movie was made, not as she is now obviously).

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Puppet Master Review":

Have you seen that episode of the old T.V. show "Night Gallery" called "The Doll" (originally shown in 1970)?, its ludicrously and laughably primitive by todays standards but i still find it strangely unnerveing whenever i watch it.

Yes! I love Night Gallery, it's one of my favorite shows from that era, or any era for that matter.

The World of Lurlene Mcdaniel said in regards to my post "The Black Guy Dies Last":

it's been a while since i've last seen this film. Luckily i recorded it on tape while fear net was playing it. I miss the slasher films of the 80's and before.

Night of the demons was a good film. And i don't think your racist at all and you do have a point there.

I have the remake screener I need to review, I'll get to it in December.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "The Black Guy Dies Last":

Sir Jorge, is your fiancee a hot chick?, maybe you could post a picture of her.

My fiancee was so hot, I married her in 2006. No pics will be posted, sorry.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Brotherhood of Blood Review":

Sir Jorge, i dont care how bad it supposedly is "Brotherhood of Blood" is still 100 times better than anything the British film industry has ever produced (or could ever dream of producing), just another reminder to keep you well away from British garbage.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "REWIND: The Omen IV: The Awakening Review":

It may have been made for television but i`d rather watch "O-girl IV: The Awakening" in a cinema than any of that British made Harry Potter garbage any day of the week, just to put into perspective again what a laughable pathetic joke the British film industry really is.

I'm right there with you.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "REWIND: Friday The 13th Part VI: Jason Lives Revie...":

Alice Cooper is a bloody load of old rubbish although what redeems him slightly is his rampaging heterosexuality and the fact that he isn`t British.

I like him none the less.

Anonymous said in regards to my "Peacock Review":

i think this movie good, how cillian play his role as 2 different person, its interesting and i think not every actor can do that, anyway he look goods as woman or man and i like it both lol

It was ok at best.

That's the end of this months comments. I'm broke, and well broke. I'll review more in the coming month, including some interesting independent film a UK screener, and much more coming your way. If you have a few extra pennies, support the blog and me by visiting amazon links I post.

Support this blog by visiting the Scary Film Web Store here.

End of the Month Mail Bag End of October 2010 Edition

Well, despite more than a year of not having a job, I've managed to keep my head above water thanks in part to that 1 person out there that bought Pumpkin Head on dvd. Yeah, you gave me 40 cents! I am kidding of course, well, only slightly. I still have no job, I'm fighting depression in a way, but am thankful that I've managed to eat ok and pay my student loans.

The month of October is almost done, and lots of comments came through, so here they are, with my replies, and such.

gatherparadise said in regards to my "Top 3 Camp Horror Movies":

Just watched The Burning today. Had never heard of this 1981 film, but after watching it, would highly recommend it!

Right on, The Burning is a classic. I discovered the film when my coworkers a few years back were debating this one sequence that we could never find. The sequence involved a pitchfork and a pregnant lady, we never found it, but in the process we found this gem of a horror film. I'm glad you liked it.

lenzy said in regards to my "REWIND: Planet Terror Review":

That was an aggressive film involving mounts of nudity..

I don't think there was a lot of nudity in this one, despite my clamoring for some. Maybe I need to see this film again, and I would, but I can't afford it right now...I'm broke.

**note**

The following comments are from the prolific commentator jervaise brooke hamster. References to "kee" and "yen" are still there, but I have deleted the comments from them. Simply put, they seemed "spammy" instead of quality, like jervaise brooke hamster. And now...a lot of comments from my favorite commenter...i've replied appropriately.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to "The Silence of the Lambs Review":

"The Silence Of The Lambs" is one of the most ludicrously over-rated films of all time (just like "Scream") i thought it was laughable, embarrassing, exploitative, amateurish, and almost completely unwatchable. I have genuinely never been able to understand why this film has been praised so much over the last 19 years because i think its total bull-shit and why did they have ruin it even more by having that worthless piece of British garbage Anthony Hopkins in it? that made it even worse.

and he replied again on the same post:

kee, (and Sir Jorge), if you haven`t done so already visit "The Pauline Hickey Fan Page" or "Pauline Hickey Vintage Porn" for dozens of naked images of one of the most incredible birds of all time. By the way kee, why cant you watch "Forbidden Planet" or "House On Haunted Hill" (1959) endlessly instead like everybody else? either of those movies would be much better for you!!!.

Come on! There are some distinct horror moments, tense and fully revealed. Yes, the movie might not be extreme, maybe it's dated, and by all means you're most likely right too. But given the tense moments towards the end, you've got to at least admit that fiction sometimes reflects reality, and the fictional characterizations and moments equal some of the elements that have been seen in "real" life crimes. Or not...maybe you're just right, and I'm wrong. I'll be willing to admit that easily.

Pauline Hickey eh? vintage adult material? you're on to something!!!!

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to "Hannibal Review":

kee, no it bloody-well isn`t, its a bloody unwatchable pile of dog-shit just like the first one. Sir Jorge, its good to see that you got the reveiw right this time its just a shame that you didn`t realise that the first movie was a "complete torpedo of crap" as well, perhaps it just took you two movies to finally realise that Anthony Hopkins is a worthless and talentless pile of british horse-shit.

This one sucked, i hated the movie...ugh...what a waste.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to "GRIMM UP NORTH FESTIVAL CONTEST":

Its not just grim up north its grim all over Britain but the grimmest place of all is their film industry its absolutely appalling and should always be avoided like the plague.

You're right again...I've never been anywhere outside of the U.S...but if I ever were to venture out, I want you there to give me bloody commentary like that. I love it.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 Review":

I want to bugger Caroline Williams as she was in 1975 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously, although admittedly she was still pretty hot in this movie at the age of 29.

Oh yeah, I hear ya man, I hear yah!!!!

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to "The Nun Review":

The power of Linda Blair compels me to rip all her clothes off and bugger her senseless.

I'm speechless on this one.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to "Christine Review":

True, this is one of Carpenters weaker films (along with "Prince Of Darkness" and "Ghosts Of Mars") but its still 100 times better than anything the British film industry has ever produced.

Once again, you're probably right. Carpenter's fallen off....maybe he'll have a comeback film.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Tales From the Crypt Review":

BLOODY BRITISH RUBBISH !!!.

Indeeeed!

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to "Stigmata Review":

Sir Jorge, just to put things into perspective again, the day the British film industry produces anything that is even 100th as good as "Stigmata" Richard Dawkins will convert to Islam !!!. By the way, i want to bugger Patricia Arquette (as she was in 1986 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously). I also want to bugger Heather Langenkamp and Penelope Sudrow (two of her co-stars from "Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors) as they were when they were both 18. One more item, Gabriel Byrne is a worthless piece of garbage.

Ok, Ok, I get it, British Film Industry sucks. I can't argue. I just can't argue. I like your passion for the anti-British Film Industry, that's for sure. If I ever see a British film, I'll let you know...or review it, but I don't think I will any time soon, as I don't even know any films from the BFI.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Dead Clowns Review":

"DEAD CLOWNS", thats the perfect name for everyone involved in the British film industry.

Classic commentary.

kevin said in regards to my "Silent Night Bloody Night Review":

Shameful review of a much beloved, underrated horror film from 1972, though only released by '74. All video copies are difficult to view, but DVD releases feature much improved picture quality. My REEL CLASSIC FILMS DVD runs 85 minutes and appears to be the original theatrical print. If you cannot read the opening credits, you are viewing a poor quality print, my version has everything clear and distinctive. The plot involves insanity, rape, incest, bloody mayhem perpetrated by an escaped maniac, and nothing is as it appears to be. The nominal hero is played by Patrick O'Neal, who takes top billing. John Carradine is totally wasted as a mute newspaper editor, but his presence gives every low budget filmmaker some stature. Walter Abel plays the town mayor, while cult favorite Mary Woronov is his admiittedly "pushy" daughter, who tags along until all is revealed in a mysterious diary, from which the eerie black and white flashbacks reveal the evil that never really died. All negative reviews of this film cite the poor picture quality, not due to the original film stock, but the numerous home video releases, and these reviewers also fail to adequately explain any plot details. I first saw this cult classic in the 70's, and agree with others who viewed it then that it remains a neglected gem.

Well, I reviewed that film a while back, and I admit, I'm not the greatest reviewer. However, the dvd quality is terrible, and the whole film is just something I don't want to see often. Maybe your collector's edition is better, maybe the film deserves more, but alas, it won't get much here...unless I get a better quality version somewhere down the road.

Anonymous said in regards to my "Scream 3 Review":

scream 3 fuckin rocks fuck you all it owns with awesome death scenes and amazing ending

You're an idiot. Done and Done.

That's the end of the October 2010 end of the month comments. I'm always watching horror, always trying to do something...always sleeping at my desk, so keep commenting. Thanks to all that commented, especially jervaise brooke hamster, you're keeping this thing alive and well.

Support this blog by visiting the Scary Film Web Store here.

End of the Month Mailbag September 2010 Edition

The end of the month brings us a lot of mail, or rather comments, to posts that I've managed to write, even though I'm sick, jobless, and dead tired. I appreciate all comments, so keep em coming, good or bad, I love em, and here's the end of the month mailbag...then in a couple of days, a recap of all the crap I did, and then all sorts of other crap in the October edition of this wonderful blog that all 3 of you read.

oliver syngen-mollusc said in regards to my "Child's Play 3 Review":

Those bloody British wankers couldn`t produce something as entertaining as "Childs Play 3" if their bloody lives depended on it.

Like one of my favorite singers once said..."you could be wrong you could be right".

simon zinc trumpet-harris said in regards to my "Scream Review":

"Scream" is one of the most ludicrously over-rated piles of garbage in the entire history of cinema.

That's a big thing to say. So big, that I can't come up with an equal response. Maybe you too are right.

Lana said in regards to my "Child's Play 3 Review":

You know, I was talking to my boyfriend a couple of nights ago about this film. I told him the same thing you've stated; Jack Bender and Don Macini should have stopped at the second movie.
You mentioned that the adults were getting killed left and right; where as the children were holding their own. I think that happened mainly because the movie was centered around kids, and during those times kids weren't really killed, (not like today's movies).
Child's play 3 is exactly that- childs' play.
Great review, keep up the good work.

Yes, the second one exploded chucky and everything, bringing him back was stupid. As for kids being killed? It wasn't until "Funny Games" where they really broke that rule. Sure there have been some kids in film getting the ax, but in Funny Games a kid takes a shotgun to the chest close range and bounces off a wall...that's a major taboo. In the film, "The Condemned" a man literally beats the crap out of a woman, which I found taboo for a long time as well. The two are related only because taboos in the 20th century are no longer taboo. Sure, there are foreign films that capitalize on that much more, but in recent years it seems that the shock value is no longer there, unless you're going to rape...and well..we all know that doesn't seem to be quite as unbearable as watching a kid get mopped up in a horror movie. No offense. I mean, does "Chaos" really have the same impact as say Child's Play? Probably not. Then again, I'm an adult male, so maybe I have the wrong perspective. Sorry for the tangent. The main point is, yes they should've stopped at 2. Thank you for your compliments, I'll keep reviewing :)

Cyberschizoid said in regards to my "Child's Play 3 Review":

Hmmm...this is the only Child's Play movie I haven't seen. Sounds like they definately improved after this one!

It's ok. It's better than "The Omen 3", just sayin.

Bleeding Dead said in regards to my "Child's Play 3 Review":

I personally think this is the worst out of the series (yeah I'm guilty of liking Bride and Seed). But I agree, the movie is just really bleak compared to it's ending.
Good review.

You're right on all accounts. The movie, to me, felt more like a "Fear Street" or "Goosebumps" novel than a horror movie, and that's not necessarily a great thing. I love R.L. Stine but this film should've been harder.

That concludes the end of the month commentary. I thought about doing a special thing for October and Halloween, but you know what? I don't care enough to do it. I am still looking for a job and just can't get anything, not even Mcdonald's has called me back. So once again I implore you to go to the amazon links and enjoy some horror movies and help me keep this site going, or rather, help me get another case of Ramen.

From the Mail Bag End of July 2010 Edition

With the end of July comes another set of comments from you, the fine readers. Despite my constant requests for you to comment, for me to visit your sites, and much more, I still seem to not be getting anywhere. I wish I had a few extra bucks to throw more contests and what not, but alas, I'm still broke and barely making it right now.

Anonymous replied to my Zombieland Review:

hell yeah

I hear ya loud and clear.

iZombie left this comment on my post about the "Black Devil Doll Bobblehead":

Welcome to Horror Blogger Alliance [HBA] I am just stopping by to say hello, "Hello", I am the unofficial "Welcome Wagon"... great things await you here at the club...

Stop by to my zombie blog, walk around, get infected...

Jeremy [iZombie]

Jeremy, thanks! And thank you for the nice welcome wagon to the Horror Blogger Alliance. I've been trying to get into an alliance of horror bloggers for a while now but people aren't so welcoming. Furthermore, I've tried to get in good with the League of Tana Tea Drinkers and they continually ignore me. I'm beginning to think I'm the black sheep of horror movie bloggers. At least the L.A.M.B still likes me.

Thanks again, you have a cool site; I love zombies.

Trick or Treat Pete said in regards to my "The Final Review":

Sigh...think I will pass on this and watch Elephant again instead, which if you have not seen yet, I highly recommend.
Dreaded Dreams
Petunia Scareum

Yes, pass on it. Unless you absolutely love punishment and torture. There are some shades of brilliance, but they are just that; shades.

That is the end of the month comments for this month. Thanks again for all the comments and thanks for those that continue to read and comment on this petty blog of mine. I'm trying hard to continue, even with a limited line up of films to review and no money to speak of.