The Black Guy Dies Last

We're going to call this post a "remix" because while it's 40% old stuff, it's 60% new, and I'm talking about crap. After yesterdays pleasant holiday, I'm back in action with a runny nose and a mug of coffee. Too bad no one is awake to chatter with, but if you ever want to shoot the you know what, send me an email with your aim name and we can banter.

The one thing in horror film lists that I see often is about race. Mainly, about African American actors dying first. This is cemented in a lot of films, and then once again spoken about in the Scream trilogy. I have been looking for cases where the Black Guy doesn't get pwned within the first kill, and I have found some glowing examples. However, aside from BUSTA RHYMES in Halloween, I found that this film runs straight to the top of my list for proving that the Black Guy doesn't die last, he actually saves the day. I guess we can cite Romero's work, but since I'm a child of the 80's, this one takes the hat.

Night of The Demons cost me $29.99 when I got it. In fact, my fiancee bought it for me in Alaska, because it just happened to be on sale. It was one of those rare finds at the time, and now it's readily available, and there's even a sequel and a remake. The great thing about this film is the ending, in which our hero and 1 girl make it out alive, although they don't get out without a few scratches and a head full of nightmares, they make it.

Race relations in horror film isn't really the point of many films, but it's interesting to note that a wide variety of people will say, jokingly at times, that the black guy gets it first. However, it's not the case here, and it's the white people and a hot asian chick that bites the big one.

Yes, I know this post can offend some, but come on, it's horror and in horror, nothing is politically correct. So without further adieu or whatever, here's a rewind, remix, of Night of the Demons Review!



Alright, here is a classic for me, but not very well known for everyone. The movie is called Night of the Demons!

The movie revolves around a group of high school kids that are invited to a Halloween party at a haunted house. The house is a local mortuary, that has been abandoned for years. The kids are the usual gang of idiots, the class clown, the tough guy, the token black guy, the preppy kid, the preppy, the goth chick and the virgin who will have to fight off the demons! The main villain, Angela, decides to bring on a séance and unleashes hell onto the kids, and each dies a horrible death!

**Note: I went to a real seance once, and it was boring as hell. I hate how movies sometimes sensationalize these things, but hey, it's a movie, and real life isn't always as fun.

The movie was scary for me when I first saw it, when I was six years old! I didn’t really understand it when I was a kid, or what the gratuitous nude and sex scenes were all about, but then I bought the movie on dvd, and things all made sense.

The movie breaks a few taboos in it’s 90 minute course of horror goodness.



The first being that there is a death/sex scene in a coffin, which is not a good taboo to break, and reprehensible for me since one of my first jobs was selling caskets; a dead end job trust me. (That was a horrible pun)

The second thing being the black guy wins. No, no, I’m not a racist, and I know that you’re probably going to think that I’m going to be stretching a hard stance, but consider the fact that the ongoing stereotype is that the minorities get it first. Not this time around, we actually see a Michael Jackson costumed guy and an Alice and Wonderland girl barely make it through this one. Of course, I just spoiled the ending for you, but come on, I couldn’t resist.

**Note2: See, even when I first wrote the review, I knew that it was odd to see the black guy winning, and being the hero. I'm not that dense.



The movie has a lot of sexual tension, and coarse joking. There’s even a scene where a woman puts a lipstick tube through her nipple, which is something you don’t really see everyday in normal Rated R horror films.

This movie is going to find fans quick, and those that have already seen it either love it or hate it. I am in the category of loving it. I think there’s a good mixture of cheese and gore, and the sexuality is turned up because the director and writers knew what the audience wanted out of this. When I saw this in the horror section as a kid, I thought that this film was a porno, but it turned out to be an awesome little goregasm of a film. (Gore and Orgasm forms the word goregasm, which mixes sex and horror/gore, my new vocabulary word of the day) I recommend this film, as it is full of cliché horror moments, a couple of taboos, and some scary “witching”. It really draws some lines between a slasher film, a zombie flick and a supernatural haunting. It really doesn't define any genre's, that's for sure.

This film spawned some sequels, but none of them as good as the original 1988 release Night of the Demons, now available on dvd.

Before the remake comes through, make sure you check this one out. The Remake of Night of the Demons, is not going to trump this one...or is it?

Note3: I'll have to review the new one, I was sent a screener and I forgot to review it. So I'll watch it over the weekend and post the review on Monday, or Wednesday, depending on how full my stupid schedule is. Granted, I don't have a job or prospects for one, so I have a lot of time on my hands.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

REWIND: Santa's Slay Review

I'm enjoying a break from things, so here's another rewind, while I watch some horror over the stupid holiday.



Former WCW Champion Bill Goldberg plays a killer Santa who’s back to kill the naughty. It’s awesome, and not meant to be scrutinized as a serious film, but it is a throwback to the 80’s slasher formula that many other movies really miss. Santa’s Slay is a great holiday horror film, and many people never even see it, such a shame.

The movie is about a couple of teens who uncover a mysterious story, told by one’s grandpa. Back a thousand years ago Santa Claus bet against an Angel with the loser being enslaved for a thousand years. Claus, in this story is the son of the devil, and plots to kill people once a year, and loses in this game, but 1000 years later (The present) he’s back in action to slay the naughty and anyone who stands in his way. So in the Township of Hell two brave teens must try to stop a killer Santa from destroying anyone and everyone he deems naughty.

Here’s a trailer for Santa’s Slay:



The film is done nicely. The movie’s cameras and director plays a great role in pushing this movie to its limits. The picture is nice, and the overall quality is great. While this is a straight to dvd and/or made for television film it really is top notch. It is higher quality than a lot of other films that I’ve seen go straight to dvd. The angles, the effects, the make up, and all things movie related are right on point and look great for this type of film.

The death’s are well made and awesome. We’re talking about serial slaying with all sorts of Christmas and Holiday related toys and gadgets. The only thing missing is a Festivus pole, but then again, one might argue that the electricity in the strip club is a throwback to that idea from Seinfeld.

Goldberg’s one liners are great. They are all related to the Holiday’s and they are all on point in a raspy, scary voice. I’m a little bit of a fan since I was a wcw fan circa 1999 when Bill Goldberg was a major wrestling star. This movie goes out of its way to be halfway serious, until the final act, where everything is dismantled and this movie becomes another joke of a horror plot.



Why Santa’s Slay is scary: Taking the story of Santa Claus and making it a serial killing parable isn’t new. However, throwing the traditional into a scary and supernatural story is not bad. We all believe in something or nothing, and it all has to do with some sort of entity. Here we see the entity manifested in Biblical proportions, with the main characters being angels and/or the son of Satan. This is not too farfetched. Consider Mormonism for a moment. Mormonism has a belief that Jesus is the brother of Satan, that’s right, they are brothers, and millions upon millions of people believe that to be true. So the idea that Satan’s son could be Santa Claus can’t be too far off of an idea to spoof or borrow.

Consider also that the Fat Red Santa mythos wasn’t even invented until the 19th century sometime, by an artist rendering. It was also then more commercialized by the Coca Cola company and away we go to modern Santa Claus. This creates an interesting scenario of belief that makes some of the points in this movie sort of scary. What if it was all true?

What if? We deal in a world of what ifs. I know that it’s not a popular thing to believe, but consider the fact that many people in the world are waiting for economic collapse and are storing up food and supplies. Consider the millions of people that believe in God, and are waiting for the second coming of Christ. Consider even fringe beliefs of sorts, like the Ethiopian Orthodox church. They believe that they have the original Ark of the Covenant. That’s right, there are a lot of what ifs that people believe and are personally attached to, and that’s why this film is kind of scary at times. It pulls a quick punch in the direction of Santa, which is popularized once a year, and spins it on its axis into an evil association, which creates quite the contrived and impersonal setting for this horror movie.

This film is scary on the notions of a what if scenario. It can be argued that all movies in the horror genre are scary in the, what if, argument that I’m creating in this article. However, this one is meant to be tongue and cheek at times, and I can’t really see another way to explain why this movie could be scary. Most people won’t find this movie to scary as it deals a lot with the supernatural as a counterbalance to serial killings, but you might also argue that the vigilante justice that Santa is giving out in this film is not too unlike previous horror movie efforts such as “Christmas Evil” and “Silent Night Deadly Night”, but in the realms of horror it stands out on its overall pledge to keep things just below the radar in terms of horror. Sure it has horror elements, and sure it really hinges on a little supernatural belief, but if you strip away the nonsense, you get an enjoyable horror film with a lot of comedic moments and some silly deaths.

Santa’s Slay is the best movie I’ve seen in terms of Holiday Horror. There are a lot of bad movies out there, and this one is not one of them. It’s light, it’s funny, and if you allow yourself to ask a few what if questions, you’re in for a good holiday horror time. It’s not really meant to be treated as a nightmare, but it has enough of umph to get you through the yuletide mess we call holidays. Santa’s Slay is a harmless, yet powerful horror film, and I liked it a lot more than some other Holiday themed films, so I suggest a viewing of Santa’s Slay. If not a s a whole, then for the great opening sequences featuring some SNL alumni, some classic actors, and one hot former sitcom star….trust me. Santa’s Slay, if nothing else, is funny, and that’s kind of cool for a horror film.

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

REWIND: Masters of Horror: We All Scream For Ice Cream Review

And we're going back in time today. I have been bogged down with a few other projects and decided to do a look back at a post rather than force a new one. Here you go, here's a blast from the past.



Growing up, I enjoyed the Nickelodeon series “Are You Afraid of the Dark” and loved to read the “Goosebumps” series of horror novels, and this short film seems to be in that vein.

The Masters of Horror series is a pretty cool concept, that gets a wide array of directors to shoot one hour horror shorts and produce some really cool stuff.
This one is quick and easy to swallow.

There is a killer clown who has come back after a long absence to kill off some kids that were mean to him. By giving kids ice cream, their parents begin to start melting to death.



Meanwhile, one of the parents gets wise to the scheme and tries his best to stop it.
This is a rip off if you’re buying it. It’s really cool to rent on netflix, but overall it’s a short winded burst of tension, and release. It’s a good one hour program, but it is rushed and the characters are somewhat disposable, so you don’t really get the full emotional connection as you would if this was a 90 minute project.



We All Scream For Ice Cream is really a good entry in the Masters of Horror series, and it compliments the genre really well, but it’s not the greatest thing to come out of the cable television series.



Here's a clip from the show:

An American Werewolf in London Review

Britain, Britain, Britain, it was about time I got around to reviewing another werewolf movie. I'm a fan of the genre, Howling being my favorite, although Silver Bullet had Busey in it as a "role model" so I guess that one wins some credit too. In 1981 "An American Werewolf in London" came out and it was directed by John Landis. The film was an easy to following horror film with some cool sequences of horror and violence.

The plot follows a couple of young men on a backpacking trip through Europe, although they don't make it past a small town, and one of them doesn't make it past London. The film immediately plunges the audience into peril with a werewolf attack, and then slowly builds to some awkward sexual scenes, and finally, the grandaddy of them all, a full transformation scene!

After we get the transformation sequence, our hero (named David) or rather anti-hero, goes into a self-realization that he's a werewolf and he'll be hungry and eating again, so he does what any self-respecting undead entity does, he goes to a porno theater! The film then starts to go into a "panic" mode as the werewolf takes center stage, and well, eats people. Eventually the cops get in the way and well, the rest is history.

The ending of the film is quite abrupt, and just kind of "closes" after a while. It's interesting to note that the film had a lot of inside jokes, lots of little references to other works, and a lot of random inserts that modern audiences will not understand, since most people don't carefully diagnose or write about film in general.

The dream sequences really made me love this film. Full blown fantasy land is really done nicely, with scary tones all over. David's friend walking around London as a zombie, telling him to end it all was cool. The whole wolf metaphor really gets played up here in the dream sequences and makes the film far better than I remembered it.

An American Werewolf in London isn't half bad. I liked Jenny Agutter's role as "Nurse Alex Price" and it didn't help my nurse fetish. Speaking of nurses, why are most of them in the United States fat? I mean, when I watch older film and read about history and what not, Nurses are HOT! In some of my fantasies...uh...never mind.

The acting is good overall, nothing too harsh on there, the film grain is quite good with a great overall transfer to dvd, and I found it better than I remembered. I loved the juxtaposing of the gore with real life cuts and edits, and I liked that there was a porno theater in the middle of London. It kind of made me want to go to London. Ok, no it didn't, but the nurse most certainly did, wow....what a hot lady.

I'll stop. I recommend checking out An American Werewolf in London, as it is a throwback to a classic time in horror, where werewolves were far better than Vampires, or at least better than shiny vampires and pasty white chicks. Till next time, watch out for the full Moon!!!



Support this blog by purchasing this dvd from Scary Film Web Store here.

Final Stab Review

I remember when I was a young idiot, I was watching an episode of Saved By The Bell where the gang went to a "murder mystery" weekend, but they didn't know it was a murder mystery thing, and they thought it was all real. It was a two part episode, and I remember enjoying that a lot. Later in my pop-culture viewing, I remember King of the Hill did a "mystery train" episode for Peggy's birthday. I enjoyed that too. So with those two things still engraved in my psyche, I thought that a movie called "Final Stab" with the premise going the same way, would be a fun time, but in fact, it was another boring movie for me to review.

The plot of the film is simple. A group of late teens early twenty somethings go to a house for a weekend of "horror", only not everyone is in on the joke, and there is a psycho killer on the loose.

The story develops really slow, but the killings start fast. You get a psycho in a mask mopping people up with a knife, yet you get minimal to no gore effects. It's so poorly done in fact, that at one throat slashing you get no splatter or any blood flowing out of the neck, despite being gutted with a harsh knife. Now, I'm not looking to see a freak show of gore, or a carnival of fake blood, but if you're going to have the act on film with the actor turning specifically to the camera, you should at least have some gore.

The film is tedious, it's heavy handed, and hard to watch. It really is one of the worst, bargain basement movies I've seen in a long time, and that's not saying much. This straight to dvd film is not worth your time, and it was barely worth my time. I can't believe I sat through it, because it was really hard for me, but alas, another movie down. If you absolutely must see this one, at least know that you've been warned. Final Stab is NOT a good movie by any stretch of the imagination.

Support this blog by visiting the Scary Film Web Store here.

From The Mailbag Mid November 2010 Edition

Wow, this month is flying by, or maybe it's not going by fast enough. For me, it's going by tremendously slow. I have no job, no future, and sold my comic book collection this week for money...ugh...I don't want to remind myself. Here's the comments up to this point.

Anonymous has left a comment on my post "Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 Review":

Spot on review to be honest mate. I am a huge fan of Rob Zombie's stuff but i just really did not enjoy this movie as i have all the others. It feels like this was a rush job. I may have got it wrong but the amount of effort and overpowerwing madness in part 1 seemed like a different director to this picture. I just wish he would have left if 5 years or something and just come back with another Classic. Dont get me wrong obviously the originals will always win the battle of the greatest but in the same field i must admit Robs version was just brilliant i think. Part 2 like you say had alot of missing "oomph" or story as ya say. Overall i really wanted to enjoy this and waited untill this weekend to watch it. I just felt let down and was pretty gutted it did not reach the expection's in which i had for it.

Nevertheless, I still hold Zombie in high regard and look forward to all of his work as visually alone it was watching because the guy is so out his brain.

I SALUTE YOU ROB ! Just dont rush the magic bruv!

Gavin / London UK

I liked it enough. I don't like the tone of the film, looking back, just bad director of photography at times. Other than that? It was a brutal film, that's about all I can recall from it.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "REWIND: Lifeforce Review":

I wish Lifeforce had been American made instead of British then it might have been a good film. By the way, i want to bugger Mathilda May (as she was at the time Lifeforce was made, not as she is now obviously).

I hear ya...I always hear ya...I like Lifeforce enough...but I love the video game more.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Saw 3D Review":

Sir Jorge, i think entertain-girl-t is all you should be concerning yourself with when reveiwing films, most horror movies are not scary but they are marvellously entertaining and thats the most important thing, horror films ceased to be scary a long time ago but they are still by far the most entertaining genre of all (with science fiction a close second), always remember that when watching a horror movie entertain-girl-t is the most important thing not being scared.

Yeah, entertainment is key...but sometimes, I get tired of the genre.

Bleeding Dead said in regards to my "Saw 3D Review":

To answer your question no Saw 3D is not the last in the series. Because the word's "final" are being promoted here expect at least one more sequel and then a remake.
I.e. The Final Friday: Jason Goes to Hell - Jason X, Friday the 13th (2009).
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare - New Nightmare, Nightmare on Elm Street (2010).
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later - Halloween: Resurection, Halloween (2007).

I hope you're wrong, but like P.I.L. said...you could be wrong, you could be right.

Anonymous said in regards to my "Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 Review":

halloween 2 is awesome it is way better than the first remake and the original remake put together and is has crazy kills that are so bloody my only problem is that it is hard to know what is going on at times because it is so dark!

Yeah, I guess so.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Wait Until Dark Review":

I always liked the relationship she had with the young girl Gloria in this film (Julie Herrod) it was so sweet and charming, in fact the scene where they make-up after Gloria throws the pots and pans is one of the most magical mo-girl-ts in the history of cinema.

That was an interesting dynamic indeed.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Saw 3D Review":

bleeding dead over on your site it says you`re a hot chick so why are you using a picture of Uma Thur-girl for your profile?, i`d prefer to see one of you wearing a skimpi bikini, how about it baby. I`m sure Sir Jorge would agree.

Um...I don't really talk to either outside of this site, but if you guys have aim or something...I'll mediate the discussion ;) Especially if a bikini is involved! Woo....nevermind.

Bleeding Dead said in regards to my "Saw 3D Review":

Well jervaise your extensive list of celebrities of which you would bugger (as they were when they were 18, of course) was difficult to limit down. I was learning towards Nev Cambell since you expressed a more vivid description of what you'd do to her, specifically with your milt, but ultimately I decided to go with Uma in the light of her being in my favorite film.

ZIIING!

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Rewind: The Wizard of Gore Review":

Sir Jorge, "The Wizard of Gore" might be difficult to watch but its still infinitely easier to endure than any British made pile of garbage you care to girl-tion.

I'd have to rewatch it to be sure.

On the Saw 3D Review there's more comments, that I'll just leave there...you can go read them instead of my commentary, cause I have none.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Against the Dark Review":

I genuinely think this is Seagals best film because its the only one i know of where hes fighting against supernatural fantastic monster type foes rather than simply against other hu-girl beings. Its always better if the hero of a movie has to do battle with monsters or robots of some-kind rather than just against other people.

True. It very well maybe.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Captivity Review":

I want to bugger that incredible bird (as she was in 2000 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously).

You should see the bloke she's going out with...lame to say the least.

otis rampaging heterosexuality said in regards to "Rewind: Videodrome Review":

Howard Shore is the Bernard Herr-girl of the synthesizer, his music for this film is as integral to its brilliance as Cronenbergs images.

Yes, you're right.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Jennifer's Body Review":

I want to bugger Megan Fox (as she was in 2004 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously), i also want to bugger the other hot chick that was in this movie (also as she was at the age of 18, not as she is now obviously) i think her name is A-girl-da. By the way, on the poster i wish we`d seen white stuff coming out of Megan fox`s mouth instead of red stuff it would have been much better.

Eh, I don't really like her.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Suspiria Review":

Once again i`ve never been able to see what all the fuss is about with regards to this movie, its ludicrously over-rated (like most of Argento`s films). By the way, i want to bugger Jessica Harper (as she was in 1967 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously).

Over rated? I don't know, I liked it, it had a lot of great color and gore.

elgart has left a new comment on your post "REWIND: Thankskilling Review":

Such an admirable accomplishment from a technical standpoint...

That's very true, the behind the scenes stuff on this film is interesting to say the least.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Inseminoid Review":

Once again this could`ve been a great movie if it had been American made but because its British its garbage by definition. By the way, i want to bugger Judy Gee-daughter (as she was in 1966 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously) even if she is British rubbish.

This was such a weird movie. Man...1966 women? I'd like to go back in time.

jervaise brooke hamster has left a new comment on your post "Machete Review":

I wish the British film industry could produce something that was 100th as good or entertaining as any of the movies from the grindhouse era but they never will believe me. Sir Jorge dont be to keen to trash American films because even at their absolute worst they are still infinitely better than anything thats produced anywhere else in the world.

You're once again spot on.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Cabin By The Lake Review":

Judd Nelson is a bloody load of old rubbish.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "The Curse of the Werewolf Review":

True, Yvonne Romain was absolutely astonishing, if i could have buggered her and tit-fucked her when she was 18 in 1956 i think my life would have been complete, Yvonne was truly incredible back in those days its just a shame she was British and had to spend her life acting in British garbage like this movie.

Oh come on, British garbage? Come on! This was at least watchable.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "Twins of Evil Review":

I want to bugger Madeleine and Mary (as they were at the time this movie was made, not as they are now obviously). Just imagine being in bed with both of those incredible little lustpots when they were both 18 in 1970 and performing every sex-act in the known universe on them for weeks or even months uninterupted, now thats heaven believe me. By the way, just another reminder, "Twins Of Evil" is garbage simply because it is British, dont forget alright !!!.

You're crazy.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to my "The Vampire Lovers Review":

I want to bugger Madeleine Smith (as she was in 1967 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously) its just a shame that (just like Yvonne Romain) she was born British and had to spend her life appearing in unwatchable British garbage like this movie, i wish she and Yvonne had appeared in hard-core porn when they were both 18, it would have been so great to see those 2 unbelievable birds being buggered in POV.

I know what you mean, I really do.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to "Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 Review":

I actually think that Rob Zombie is a wothless pile of crap although his rampaging heterosexuality and the fact that he isn`t British do redeem him slightly obviously. By the way, Malcolm Mcdowell is a pathetic British turd although once again i think he has been completely heterosexual all his life so thats one good thing about him, BLOODY BRITISH GARBAGE.

Malcolm McDowell eh? I didn't even register it was him, until just now.

the sneering (homo-phobic) snob said in regards to "Clive Barker's Book of Blood Review":

One of the problems i always have with watching anything that Clive Barker is involved with is knowing that he is a faggot the bloody dirty pansy queer bastard, Hes also British filth so essentially what we have here is a double whammy of garbage. BLOODY DIRTY BRITISH PANSY FAGGOT FILTH.

Wow...wow....I've got nothing.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to "Return To Cabin By The Lake Review":

Judd Nelson is STILL a bloody load of old rubbish although i`d rather watch this movie than any British film you might care to name.

I'm drawing a blank, so you win.

jervaise brooke hamster has left a new comment on your post "Black Xmas Review":

I want to bugger Michelle Trachtenberg (as she was in 2003 when she was 18, not as she is now obviously).

You and me both.

jervaise brooke hamster said in regards to "Black Christmas Review":

The final scene of this film with the camera prowling around the supposedly empty house is the stuff of pure cinematic legend, it is pure brilliance.

I loved this film, and maybe will have to watch it again with the MRS. this year.

That's it for the comments, I think I missed a couple, but I don't care. This thing turned into the jervaise brooke hamster show, and that's not bad, thanks for the comments everyone. I'm going to go back to trying to get a job.....

Support this blog by visiting the Scary Film Web Store here.

Return To Cabin By The Lake Review

It has been noted many, many times that sequels are terrible. Return to Cabin by the Lake is another notch int he proverbial belt of beating a dead horse in terms of sequels. It's probably one of the worst movies you'll ever see, British or otherwise.

The movie tries to continue the original story line, only this time Judd Nelson's character is on set and making a movie, when people start dying off. But who cares? Not me. Not anyone else either.

The movie is slow moving, cuts away any real horror and gore, has no major winning points, and you really want to just give up on the genre altogether. For whatever reasons, someone greenlit this terrible film, and me, being an idiot, sat down and watched it.

Do not see Return to Cabin by the Lake, it's just not worth it. Go read a book or something, save your 90 minutes for something worthwhile, because this surely isn't even worth mentioning, unless you're a diehard "know it all" and just want another obscure movie reference to make.

Support this blog by visiting the Scary Film Web Store here.