Friday, September 10, 2010

Machete Review

Machete Review

For those of us that love Grindhouse, and not just the Tarantino/Rodriguez 4 hour epic, this movie seems like it would fit right in. Machete first came on the screen throught the trailer of the aforementioned opus, and was given so much fan fare that someone decided to make it a real movie. The movie has a plot that is laughable, and a leading man that is quite good; Danny Trejo.

Machete opens up in classic grindhosue style, two men trying to fight the bad guys only to get crossed and nearly get killed. The most impressive thing about the first 10 minutes is not so much the explosive action, but that we see the big screen return of none other than Steven Seagal. Dare I say, this is the best role I've seen Seagal in since um...ever! Michelle Rodriguez shows up here and actually acts! Oh and I didn't hate Jessica Alba or Lindsay Lohan in this film! Lohan gets nake! WOOO!

The plot revolves around outcast federal agent, Machete. He becomes a day laborer who is coerced into an assassination plot and that goes wrong, so he swears revenge on those that killed his wife and partner, and the story moves into revenge mode, just like the 70's.

The movie has a lot of gore. There is so much gore that it's ridiculous, and there is a ton of cg effects, but done in a nice way. Can you do blood in a nice way? I don't know. Trejo isn't relied upon to say a lot, but rather he plays a super man type role and he does it to full effect.

The story feels a little long. I got tired of it after a while. There is an overt immigration message, that I didn't care for, and there was a lot of nonsense to fill the screen.

All in all, Machete is an interesting throwback, but the highly polished visuals and overt immigration story line, alongside copious amounts of gore, didn't make this film a sure fire hit for me. Sure, I liked a lot of it, but it's not that great to me.

People forget, the grindhouse era films were TERRIBLE! This whole nostalgia thing about them is stupid in a lot of ways. Yes, we grew up with them, but they are so bad they are good. This film is halfway decent and not terrible, therefore I can't really feel nostalgic. I liked it enough, but like I said, I wished it was more...and I'm not sure how to really illustrate that.

Machete will live on on dvd, and blu ray I'm sure. It was nice to see such a film...but sitting in stadium seating and nice air conditioning, just really took away from the experience for me.


  1. jervaise brooke hamsterNovember 8, 2010 at 9:13 PM

    I wish the British film industry could produce something that was 100th as good or entertaining as any of the movies from the grindhouse era but they never will believe me. Sir Jorge dont be to keen to trash American films because even at their absolute worst they are still infinitely better than anything thats produced anywhere else in the world.

  2. jervaise brooke hamsterMarch 4, 2012 at 12:12 AM

    I want to bugger Jessica Alba (as the bird was in 1999 when the bird was 18, not as the bird is now obviously).


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