Satans Slave Review

**Note**

Before I reviewed this film, I had no idea it was in fact a British horror film, or at least in the UK, which covers a lot of ground. I guess that's my fault. I did in fact find that this film wasn't as good as the moniker of "Grindhouse" double feature made it out to be, but alas, this is what it is.

Ah yes, it's time once again for a review! Today we will try and discuss the film, Satan's Slave. I'm not big on satanism movies because they are usually badly acted, terribly shot, and lacking any sort of saving grace. But alas, it is my job to keep writing even if no one reads this thing.

First and foremost the film opens up with a satanic ritual, a goats head, some dude reciting crap and a naked woman! Yes, this film is r rated and rightfully so. The movie moves from that point to more subtle fare. I say that only because the opening scene is so graphic compared to the second scene that you don't get a sense for the rest of the film, but after the short interlude there is an attempted rape scene which reminds the viewer that this is in fact an exploitation film after all.

This film, i found out is a British film, and maybe that's why I found it somewhat boring. The pacing wasn't very good and despite flashes of nudity and ritual this film was rather dry. The plot revolved around a woman who goes to live with family after her father's car mysteriously explodes. She then is drafted into a weird ceremony as the house he now lives in is a house for the devil!

The movie is weird, it truly is a good example of grindhouse cinema. The majority of the film is just plain and boring. I got tired of the film by the second act. The final points of this film try to be heavier handed and move forward with relative ease, giving some gore for being patient, but the resolution of the plot leaves much to be desired.

Satan's Slave is not good, it's not worthwhile. The poster is awesome but the film is kind of boring and most won't like it. I wouldn't recommend this one, unless you're a glutton for punishment, like I am.

Now, the director (Norman Warren) did a good job with Inseminoid, but this thing? Terrible. This is just a tiresome movie. Oh and yes, it was filmed in the UK, was it a full British horror movie? I don't know. There is a ton of nudity here, lots of horrific violence at times, but it is so spread out that you have to really invest in the film to enjoy it. I don't necessarily like it, and while David McGillivray's writing is not half bad, it just come across as boring, instead of thrilling, which is the main reason I am watching horror.

This film is relatively rare. Unless you see it in this double feature dvd, but it was originally called Evil Heritage in 1976. I liked the original poster better than the updated one. Oh well. That's the end of this review. There's a second film on this double feature dvd, and I'll review that one next time.

The Transitional Champion

What's up readers of this blog. For those that aren't familiar with the antics of one Sir Jorge of Culver, let me introduce myself, my name is Jorge. I'm a Mexican idiot that now lives in Los Angeles.

I don't usually air out my personal life on this site, but I think that some of you are wondering why the site isn't getting updated at a breakneck pace like before. Well, here is your chance to dive into my hell.

In February my now ex-wife wanted to leave me and took some "confusing" time to think. She divorced me, and we are now in different places. I flew back to my mom's house in Los Angeles and am now writing to you from the bedroom that my sister stayed in while I was on an adventure through the northwest. It sucks. I'm not going to sugar coated, this was not my dream, and I didn't want this to happen, but life has a way of punching you in the balls then hitting you with reality. I'm not bitter, I'm enjoying my new life here, and the transition is now starting to settle down a little.

I have upgraded my equipment to a BLU RAY player and a flat screen television for the full HD effect. I don't have surround sound, so those that are looking for tips and tricks and reviews on the digital sounds, I can't provide that. I can provide picture quality, smoothness, and special feature counts on some of the dvd's that I will be reviewing in the near future.

The upgrade cost me a lot, and that's why I'm going to ask you for money. If you have an extra dime please buy something through Amazon links found on this site. I need every dime I can get. I'm unemployed, and haven't landed on my feet at all. I barely even had a job interview, so please bare with me as I beg you for some change.

The reviews will be forthcoming. I have 4 movies ready to be reviewed, I just need to stop procrastinating and get to them! I do not believe that they are British, so no one panic. They are older grindhouse era pictures, and I'm hoping for blood, and guts, and sex, as is the custom to this site.

I'm not sure if I'll be posting quite as often as before, but I'll try to chime in as often as possible. I've had a long hard road in this time, but I'm doing well now, and I'm looking forward to a brighter future, a single existence full of goregasms.

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A Virgin Among The Living Dead Review

So this was a great find, I loved the artwork and wanted to see this film, since it was the original directors cut. The notion was killed though, as the movie is NOT a zombie film at all, and really just another run of the mill horror movie. A Virgin Among The Living Dead is NOT a movie you're going to love, that's for sure.

Franco is a revered cult director, so I was expecting far more from him. There were some spots with blood, but the story makes little to no sense. The plot revolves around a woman who loses her father and now must contend with a sick family (sick as in psycho) who are all trying to gain the fortune left behind. However, amidst all that there are odd scenes full of nudity, and 70's bush, lots of random killing for no apparent reason, and just maddening at times.

The pacing aside, the film looks like a grindhouse picture. There is no updates here, no major clarity, and the rip seems like a vhs rip at best. All the original specs, cigarette burns, pops and noises are here and it can really take you out of the movie. The editing is terrible, the transitions are amateur at best.

The majority of horror fans will fall asleep with this one. The movie has a certain appeal, but the eroticism aside, this 1970's attempt at horror is NOT something you're going to want to see again and again. I love the poster, I love the idea, but man the execution leaves a lot.

It's interesting to note that there are 10+ edited versions of this film floating around in VHS land. If you have seen those copies, they might be far more entertaining than this director's cut. Some reviewers argue that this is Franco's best film, but I say, it's not nearly as good as his other work. But that's just my humble opinion. I love the poster, I'll get that for my room, but the dvd? It's not that great, it's just not.

The Rat Man

Ah yes, Eurotrash cinema! One of my delights, and today we talk about an out of print work of genius called Rat Man. The film is dark, not in story but in visuals, devoid of anything now known as high definition. This one is going to be hard for most to find and see, but for those willing to venture out of their way to see exploitation film, this will be another instant classic.

Finding this film would have been impossible before, but since moving back to Los Angeles I've managed to find a much better selection of movies they meet the criteria of this blog. This particular film I found at cinefile, as it is the type of film that is not going to be seen by anyone that doesn't want to see it "all".

Much like other monster movies this film follows the work of a mad scientist. He spliced the sperm of a rat into a monkey to create our unholy beast. Fans of Weng Weng will probably think that the rat man is in fact him, but all signs point to someone else.

As the film goes through the simple story of a photographer in location taking pics of women, to subplots involving our man of science and a killing spree the viewer is treated like an idiot, throwing caution to the wind in order to get gag reflexes going with gratuitous gore.

The film seems dubbed, and the acting is sub par. You really feel like you're watching made for cable horror as the shots, acting, and low light make for something straight out of The Hitchhiker or early HBO studio films. Many will find this low quality style boring and crude, while horror buffs will love the constant use of the damsel in distress, mixed with laughable violence.

The actual rat man is not scary, the idea and premise lends itself well to nightmare worlds, but the execution is too clumsy to make it more than a low budget horror piece. The film is so dark that most of the time you won't even see the creature.

All that being said, Rat Man is worth checking out. It's got some sick moments, an while as a whole it fails to scare, there are points in the sound design and visuals that will stimulate the imagination to scare even the most jaded of scary movie fans. I kid you not, however, this film is very hard to find. You won't see this in Blu ray any time soon, and I had to really seek it out. Fans of Argento and Bava will appreciate the tense pieces, as the director here uses the same rubric as the other Italian masters of suspense. I liked it, you might too.



**Note

After writing this review I found several copies on dvd, rather than the VHS rip that I received as a rental. I apologize for over hyping this film as a rare gem, as you can find this one online and through random dvd stores across the nation. However, the vhs rip is the one I saw, and will testify as being awesome. Who needs dvd? VHS FTW!

Rabid Dogs Review

First and foremost I'm back. I bought a blu ray player, I bought DVDs and I am a member of a cool Los Angeles based video store that has a ton of horror, euro trash and yes British Horror!

Today I'm going to try and put into words a review of the Mario Bava film, Rabid Dogs. The first fifteen minutes are enough to convince you that this film is a top notch thriller! We get a robbery and a car chase and a group of bandits trapped by the police. We also get a glance of red, bright blood and quality gore that's done in a more tasteful way than other Italian contemporaries doing horror/thrillers. The movies tone, editing and style screams Italian horror and the music draws you into the narrative as the villains try to escape from capture with a load of cash. The music is menacing and steady as the plot is revealed. I can see where guys like Tarantino steal plot ideas, because this film starts feeling like Reservoir Dogs with each argument.

The movie has a simple plot that starts fast then slows way down to allow for the build up of suspense. The criminals hijack a car after the initial slaying and robbing and trapped are a couple and their baby. The killers then go on a road trip with these folks and things slowly build and eventually explode into a frenzy.

Bava doesn't create a scary film here, unless you reduce the common denominators to a very personal level. The acts are terrible on a human scale and yes I'm scared that the realism placed here could spur paranoia for me while driving, but still allows for me to remember that this is only a movie. The mood flows well even when the film starts to stall, but the music allows for smooth transitions.

More so a thriller than a horror film, Rabid Dogs has a strong dramatic third act that really makes you question who the bad guys are. The decisions made are interesting and deeper than mere kidnapping, forcing you to examine morality when there should be a clear line of delineation.

The film moves through a variety of layers, all of which build to a satisfying ending, albeit somewhat desperate if you ask me. Bava creates a masterpiece here that's tight, well crafted and worth watching again and again. It's vicious at times it's got some blood, but the layers are what make this film better than the last Bava film I reviewed for this site. Rabid Dogs is a harsh thriller at times, but it has a certain horror flare that will attract a wider audience than just the core horror fans. I liked it, I thought it had a good sense of pacing, even though I complained about the timing at one point, and thing it's a worthwhile film to watch. It's not going to scare most, but it has enough momentum to swing a hammer at your skull. Check it out on dvd.

The Return Date

I wanted to finally update this blog because I have finally settled in. I am no longer married, and I'm living in my mothers house in Los Angeles. I'm broke, I have no job, and I just now got a television. Tonight, I'll be purchasing a Blu Ray player and will start watching horror asap. You guys will get your horror fix sooner than later.

Until then, please buy something online to help me out in the transition. Thank you!

Support this blog by visiting the Scary Film Web Store here.

A Blade In The Dark And I'm Coming Back

First and foremost, I'm coming back to review. I've done a lot of soul searching and I've closed down a lot of my blogs, but I'm coming back to this blog and I'm going to be reviewing the greatest and the worst horror movies of all time.

I won't get into personal details, but my schedule is a big foggy for the new few weeks.

I did manage to watch a horror movie recently, and it was Bava's "Blade in the Dark". I'll comment quickly that, this film was laughable. The blade was more of an xacto knife, and the pov shots were hilarious and stupid. The film holds no major horror scenario, unless you really suspend disbelief.

I loved it, but it's cheeseball at its finest.

I'll be back to full reviews in the coming weeks.