Blood Lake Review

Blood Lake here is NOT the porno

A while back I was told to check out Blood Lake. So I finally did. Well, was I surprised to find out that Blood Lake was a pornographic movie that was put out by WCA. If you’re into hardcore, perhaps this is for you, but alas, I was then redirected, as this is NOT the horror movie that I was supposed to watch. But hey, we all make mistakes, right?

The Asylum production studio put out what should be an instant classic with their science fiction, horror movie, that was in conjunction with Animal Planet, of all people. James Cullen Bressack is the director of this one, and it was released in 2014. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and honestly, can’t really say it’s terrible, but I can’t really say that it’s spectacular either.

The movie’s plot revolves around lampreys, which have mutated and are breeding like crazy. These are invading a small town and it’s up to animal control to stop it all. With a limited cast starring Shannen Doherty, Jason Brooks, Christopher Lloyd and others, this one is a shoe string, made for television horror movie with a lot of slow moving plot steps. By the time you get moving through the majority of the movie, you’re grateful to see anything go down.

The Twilight Zone Season 1 Blu Ray - On Sale here!

Pick Up The Twilight Zone Box Set by Clicking Here, and save up to 40% on the complete Blu Ray Edition of the series!

The computer graphics in this one are on par with what you’d expect from ScyFy, so I can’t really say much to that. The movie is ok, it is paced slowly, the cast goes through their lines with a semblance of ability, but honestly, it’s not grand. I tried to like this one, but more often, I was shut down by lackluster effects, non-sensical reactions, and attempts at gore.

As far as made for television horror movies, this is not a terrible movie. It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen. However, it is far from the best. I wouldn’t recommend Blood Lake from The Asylum, unless you’re a collector or horror movies, are a diehard fan of the actors, or stream it for free. It’s just not worthwhile, in my book. I won’t see it again.

You can always pick up Blood Lake on dvd by clicking here, if you so desire.

Sharknado 3 Oh Hell No Review

There’s nothing quite like the overblown media coverage of Sharknado. I finally sat down to watch the third installment, and while I managed to like the other two in the series, this was definitely the weakest one. Then again, I think that’s the point. How can we go insane with the plot and the whole concept of Sharknado? Well, we can make fun of it all and even leave it all with a cliffhanger too. Overall, this is one hell of a movie, but not in a good way, as there are some serious points of contention.

First and foremost, the acting has completely taken a backseat. I know, the other ones haven’t been great either, but there is a special kind of terrible that is sewn throughout this movie. So much that I had a hard time enjoying it, as everyone just phoned it in. If that’s not bad enough, the effects and the deaths are all even worse than ever. Then again, the cameos were kind of cool. I can’t deny that it was cool to see so many celebrities get involved. My favorite of course was none other than Chris Jericho.

Ok, so the acting is bad, so what? Well, the movie is plotted really slow. Slower than the other ones at times, but right when I thought I was going to give up on it, I decided to give it another shot. Simply put, the movie is just boring. I was bored by the time The Hoff showed up. Now that was ok, I liked the notion of going into space to send off missiles, but leaving The Hoff on the moon? (I Kid You Not)

Perhaps the biggest hit to my intelligence was the baseball bat that was Tara Reid giving birth to a baby in the belly of a shark. It was enough for me to walk out of my own living room. Then the cliffhanger, does she live or die? Oh and there will be a Sharknado 4! Come on! Come on! This is just bad. I don’t have fun with these any more. I give up. I’m just done. Instead of investing in the terrible movie that this was, take a moment to reflect on anything better. Ugh, this Halloween season is ruined by another lame movie.

Then again, maybe I’m looking for diamonds in sacks of poop. I know, I’m wrong. I just can’t watch anymore Sharknado movies. I can’t. Yet, I will probably see the fourth one when it comes out. I’m a sucker. Enjoy Halloween tomorrow, I’m going back to watching horror movies and trying to keep this site from dying a slower death than it already has.