Stalled Review

What would you do if you were in the bathroom when the zombie apocalypse happened? Seriously? What would you do? That’s the premise that comes forward in this cult classic, Stalled. Stalled is a movie that I didn’t want to watch for a while, but eventually had to, because I didn’t want this site to die. So here we go, my thoughts and opinions about one of the cleverest zombie movies I’ve seen in a long time. I kid you not, this was creative, and fun.

Stalled came out in 2013. I was aware of the movie, but didn’t really watch it at the time. The movie was written and directed by Dan Palmer, and boy did he do a good job. Hats off to you Mr. Palmer, what a hell of a movie you created, with the help of others of course, but still, this is written very well if you ask me. Of course, no one asked me. If you are looking for a zombie Christmas movie, here it is, a Christmas treat with zombies and a bathroom stall from hell!

The plot is simple. W.C. is a maintenance guy at a high rise and he gets trapped inside of a bathroom stall when the zombie apocalypse goes down. That’s it. Simple plot, and it slowly moves forward into a nightmare. The movie progresses from W.C’s point of view. He eventually realizes that there is a girl in another stall, and the two try to escape, only for the woman to eventually has an emotional crisis about being fat, and gets eaten alive while our anti-hero ends up watching through a peep hole. There’s an identity crisis going on, and I wrongfully thought that it was another cheap ending, but nope, this was smart, it swerved me.

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Overall the gore is tight, the cinematography is good. However, I do have one major critique. The camera stops moving a lot. There are times when you don’t hear anything, and the camera is fixed, with nothing going on. It’s worse than Kevin Smith’s early work. That’s really jarring, but perhaps the method is to get you nervous, sucked into the plot, and waiting for what goes on next. Whatever the case is, Stalled really picks up steam in the third act and never lets go.

There’s comedy, there’s horror, there’s gore, and there’s even a little hot lesbian action! (I kid, but not really)

At the end of the day, Stalled is one of my favorite horror movies that features zombies. This is a quick, 84 minute romp through a “what if” scenario that you no doubt have talked about with your friends, while throwing back a few drinks. I loved it. Even though the pacing was a bit off sometimes, and the quality of film isn’t on par with a lot of mainstream releases, this British horror movie got me hooked fast. I recommend checking it out, especially for the brain bashing toilet humor that is sewn throughout. Great job!

You can purchase Stalled on DVD by clicking here, and why wouldn’t you? It’s damn good!

Cockneys vs Zombies Review

Not another zombie movie, I thought to myself when my girlfriend decided to play this the other night. I’m a jaded horror movie fan, and it’s been a while since anything has caught my eye. Then the movie progressed, and I was hooked. Cockneys vs Zombies is not your traditional zombie movie, although there are a few things that you will definitely catch in the same light that you will from other movies. I found the beginning to be somewhat ok, but it’s the sum of the parts that really bring this movie to the top of my list of zombie creations in the recent years.

Some construction workers unearth a seal that brings about an outbreak in the East London area, and things really go south from there. Meanwhile, a group of young adults hatch a plan to rob a bank and save their grandparents from uncertain doom that will befall them when their retirement home closes down. That’s when we are introduced to Ray, the former gangster and one of the most badass characters ever concocted in zombie movie lore. Ray is awesome and I hope to be as badass as that character when I am an old dude. Sadly, I’ll probably be a stain on the underwear of old dudes, rather than some badass granddad. Heck, I don’t even have children.

The movie goes back and forth between the robbery, the group of friends, and the retirement home. Equal parts “Shaun of the Dead” and “Day of the Dead” this movie picks up fast, and doesn’t let you go. There’s some light hearted moments, and there are some harsh moments. The gore is amped up, the sequences are suspenseful, and there’s plenty of zombie madness to enjoy throughout this British horror film.

I found the movie to be entertaining, fast flowing, and definitely worth your time. I didn’t think it was the best production, but the characters were enough to hook me, especially the character of Ray and his old friends. I loved the nuances found between hardcore gore and CG effects which were done really well at times. For this being a lower budget film, it really did take on the best of the mainstream, and I enjoyed it greatly.

I highly recommend Cockneys vs Zombies, as it is a fun romp. It’s comedic at times, it’s predictable at others, and it is just overall an entertaining horror comedy. I can’t say enough about it. It’s the first movie I’ve seen in a while that really grabbed me, and that’s a great thing. Pick up the movie by going to amazon here, or whatever it is you do to see movies. I don’t know.