Sharks of the Corn Review

The horror genre has a lot of different angles that can be utilized to scar audiences. In recent years, a lot of comedy has come through and while it is meant to be in the horror genre, it just fails to scare. That’s not the intent, as many directors and writers are looking to turn the genre into a comedic affair, which can work at times (IE Scary Movie), but can lackluster in others. With “Sharks of the Corn”, we get one of the coolest posters that I’ve seen in a long time, and something that really seemed promising going into it with no other vision but the poster. 

Once you start the movie, you realize that you are in straight to vhs territory. Not even dvd, mind you, as the quality of the film is not HD at all, and really feels like it was amateur at times. I brushed that all aside and pushed through and what we got was an intentionally bad, comedy horror movie. The movie’s plot surrounds a few things, including a serial killer that is taking out his victims with shark teeth, and of course sharks in a corn field taking out anyone and anything that comes near it. The movie shuffles a little, and even has an alien invasion twist to it, shoehorned straight into the middle of the movie. 

“Sharks of the Corn” has an interesting premise to me, I liked the idea, I didn’t like the presentation however, but once I started this thing, I was all in, and kept watching to the end. It isn’t going to win awards, and most people may not want to sit through it all, but it’s schlock and decent in my opinion. In fact, it’s one of the best worst movies I’ve seen in a while, and I tip my hat to the filmmakers for throwing themselves into the mix and making a movie, with limited budget, and yet still comes out with some stellar moments. Heck a shark attacks a helicopter at one point! Grab a beer, get some pizza, and watch the mess of a movie, it’s exactly what you would expect, or worse. I laughed, so there’s that. 

Camp Death III in 2D (2018) Review

Two things happened to me this morning. One, I stabbed myself in the eye with my finger, trying to rub something out of it. Two, I saw “Camp Death III in 2D” with only my left eye. If you only have one eye, then you are no doubt going to enjoy the Scary Film O Vision that I experienced watching this movie that caught me by surprise. The director emailed me, and I normally ignore all directors, because they don’t want to give me money, and I need to pay bills. Director Matt Frame didn’t offer me money, but he did offer me a chance to see his movie, and after exploring my options, I decided, why not, let’s watch a horror movie, with a comedic element to boot! Plus, I’m a fan of the cast, and there’s one brunette in particular that I fell in love with, as she looks like my high school crush, and the one that got away, or well never came, because she totally ended up going out with my best friend and marrying him, and dissing me because I had no money, car, or a band. Oh, right, the movie, “Camp Death III in 2D” is a kick in the balls of parody horror movies, and boy, did it throw a lot at the proverbial wall.

The movie is a parody of Friday the 13th, yet it does a lot more to throw in all sorts of camp horror cliche moments, and then some. The comedy is played up as absurd at times, and sometimes it’s one liners, then you throw in the push towards POV shots, and gore, and you have yourself a movie that takes the notion of a camp horror movie and adds equal parts porno parody, sans the sex, and kaboom, you got yourself a movie that reminds me a lot of “Sleepaway Camp 3” in the lack of large cast, and some clever gore and killer shots that make you think this came out of the 1980s. If it had additional film grain, you’d swear this was a cult classic, mind you, it’s got those chops.

Comedy horror movies run the gamut of absurd to gross out humor, and then some. This movie plays on everything, but doesn’t go into the world of “Scary Movie” for laughs, as they go beyond at times, and really play up to the bad taste that comes with horror movies that are fully horror and fully comedy, not just parody. Suffice to say, you’ll laugh when appropriate, and you’ll be impressed at times with the sheer horror of it all, because at the core of this concept is a true to the source material, horror story of a slasher at a camp. That’s not to say the movie doesn’t have slapstick, it’s just that there’s still a sense of “horror” to this, not just comedy for the sake of comedy. Then again, there’s a Star Wars scene that will offend a lot of geeks, but I found great!

Right when you think the movie goes for strict horror, they throw down the gauntlet and go completely off the rails, so my previous statements are null, as the script calls for humor that cannot be contained in traditional means. You get into the WTF category of humor. Splendid!

You should go out of your way to find this movie. Show it to your friends, show it to your spouse, show it to your escort in Vegas, this is one hell of a horror comedy, and while it has some serious notes at times, it goes for the gusto in terms of trying to make you laugh and scare you all at the same time. It’s a dream of a movie in many ways, and I swore my teenage brain thought of this one, but alas, I was too busy doing random bs.

This is one hell of a comedy, horror movie. Watch this movie alongside “Black Devil Doll” and “The Taint” and you’ll have one hell of a triple feature! Learn more about this movie via the official Facebook Page HERE and check out the trailer below. I recommend this one, it has everything from straight laced horror to gross out humor to gore and more. It's something else, it's just something else....watch it!

Frankenhooker Review

Frankenhooker Poster

Let’s journey back to the 1990s, and check out a movie that most people don’t even remember. That’s right, we’re going to talk about the black horror comedy entitled, “Frankenhooker”. Now, this came into my view via an adult website, and once I realized it wasn’t an adult feature, I had to check out the film. It starts Penthouse Pet Patty Mullen, wearing a fat suit at first, and a bunch of no-name stars, but that doesn’t matter, because this is not going to make a career out of anyone, with a few exceptions.

The movie is a fast paced horror comedy, and features a young man’s quest to bring his fiancé back to life. When his girl dies from a lawnmower accident, he goes through a lot of endeavors to reanimate her, but doesn’t have enough parts. So he starts to hire prostitutes, but when they find his super crack, they start exploding. That upsets their pimp, and while he is able to make his woman come back, she becomes a Frankenstein monster, and hooker, and well that leads to a lot of shenanigans.

The movie is only 85 minutes long, but there are a lot of great sequences here. There’s the constant exploding of the hookers, there’s the continual beat downs that Jeffrey Franken gets, and of course the nudity. If you’re a fan of gratuitous nudity, then you’re going to love the middle point of this movie because there’s a lot of exposed breasts. The movie goes from horror to absurd in 60 seconds, and you can’t really take this one too seriously.

Aside from the “Frankenstein” plotting, this is a movie that features a lot of interesting points, and is a nice set piece to the original book by Mary Shelley. But is it worth your time? YES! This is a great romp into the 1990s, late grindhouse era of movies that have good overall effects, funny moments, and classic one liners. The same guys that did “Basket Case” are responsible for this movie, and you can see it through their gross out effects, the explosions, and musical selections. This movie has one killer ending too, making it one of the better horror comedies to come out of the 1990s. It’s one that you have to see to believe, because you can’t get away with a lot of the things that this movie had in it.

This is one hell of a movie, and it is worth checking out. It has everything you'd want in a horror movie, and then some.

You can purchase "Frankenhooker" by clicking here. 

Did you see "Frankenhooker"? Drop me a line in the comments. 

Sharknado 2: The Second One Review

It was bound to happen. I was going to watch the second release from the Sharknado series, and I finally did. I was definitely not planning on it, but I managed to get through it. I thought the first one was ridiculous, but there were still moments that made sense. For the sequel, the guys at Asylum took the notion of sharks in a tornado and then threw all sorts of crap at it. What you get is one of the most intriguing and dare I say, stupid horror movies I’ve seen in a long time.

Just don’t even try to think about it. It’s best not to think about anything that is going on in this movie. It’s that insane. I was hoping for a shred of reality, or something that resembled ok acting, but nope, this thing is horrendously acted, but isn’t that the point?

Sharknado 2 starts with an airplane crash and within the first 15 minutes completely flies off all rails. You get hit with every trope you could imagine in the comedy, horror movie. There is gore, there is bad computer graphics, there are cameos from all over the map, and you are going to either love it or hate it.

I found myself questioning what I have done with my life, and how far this site has come. Is this a new low? Am I running out of things to watch and review?

I don’t know.

Sharknado 2: The Second One is by far one of the most gratuitously bad movies I’ve seen in a long time. But there was one thing that was constant through the whole thing, my laughter and enjoyment. They win, and they made a third one, so maybe it’s not all bad. If you need a good laugh, and want some gore thrown in, watch this one. It makes no sense, but it doesn’t have to, it’s a solid 2 hours of your life you’re not going to miss, seriously.

Deep Blue Sea Review

I know I promised to talk about the Leprechaun series, but I have been having a hard time transitioning. I moved from Los Angeles to Indianapolis, and my hopes of meeting new people, and having a different life has really been thwarted by the same issues I’ve always seemed to have. If you want to help me out in any way, make sure that you use the Amazon options that I recommend to pick up movies. Each sale helps me out a little bit. That’s partially the reason why I am not writing as many reviews, as I don’t have a way to watch more movies, now that I do not have Netflix. I did manage to catch “Deep Blue Sea” so here I go, giving you another shot in the arm from the longest running horror blog that I know of, because I don’t know about a lot of others!

This movie takes the concepts that you may have seen in first person shooters and takes on “Jaws”. There’s a secret lab where scientists are working with sharks, helping them get smarter, in order to cure human disease. However, during the course of their work, they have caused a great deal of problems. Mainly, the sharks are now getting mad and know how to fight back, or whatever. The movie doesn’t really take off until the sharks starts to go mad and traps a research team. The team must escape, and overcome their own personal issues to rise through the flooded research center.

Pick up “Deep Blue Sea” BLU RAY, or other horror films by clicking here!!!

So while this movie isn’t scary, it has horror elements that are supposed to “thrill”. It’s listed as science fiction, and it truly does put on a showcase. I can see this as a pulp novel, and it truly works well in that regards. The characters are all archetypes. Thomas Jane, Michael Rapaport, LL Cool J, and Samuel L. Jackson are the stand outs, especially the ultimate death scene! The biggest death scene here is of course Jackson throwing down an amazing speech, only to get eaten by a shark! I loved it, you loved it and the internet meme’d the crap out of it.

Breaking down this film into anything other than just a throwaway blockbuster is disingenuous. I can’t really say that this is a bad movie, because it’ not “bad”. But it’s not exactly great, or good either. It’s a nice romp through a very isolated area. It’s nice to get a throwback to that classic science fiction style that made the 1960s so grand. However, outside of some shining lights from Jackson and LL Cool J, this is a trope that is so predictable, you get tired.

You either love “Deep Blue Sea” or you don’t, it’s that simple. I found it to be funny, and enjoyable. However, it may be fueled by the fact that I’m having a hard time financially, so it was nice to have a distraction for a couple of hours. You can pick up “Deep Blue Sea” on BLU RAY here, or don’t, no one ever listens to me anyways.

Tusk Review

Kevin Smith made one of my favorite movies. When “Clerks” came out, I was 11. I didn’t know that just a few years later I would fall in love with being a video store clerk. To this day, I wish I was jocking a counter instead of being an idiot. I loved every minute of it. However, today, is not about the past, it’s about the future, or rather present, or something. Today I will be trying to make sense of a movie that my wife decided to nearly throw a shoe at. “Tusk” is a movie that will divide your senses as you perceive it as a dark comedy, or a horror movie. Whatever the case is, this is one hell of a narrative.

The setup is simple. An abusive, idiot of a douche played by Justin Long is on his way to interview an internet sensation. He has a podcast that talks about weird people, and things. He ventures to Canada where he finds himself at a loss. The interviewee dies and he’s left without someone to interview. Told through flashbacks, however, is his life with his girlfriend and friend. It turns out he’s not such a good guy and you start thinking that he deserves whatever is coming to him. What he ends up moving forward with will have you creeped out, especially after you realize that this concept is based on a story that Kevin Smith came up with after reading Craigslist ads.

The movie moves towards horror in the mid-section. Our interviewer meets an eccentric old man who literally turns the guy into a walrus. That’s right, gore and all the dude turns his victims into walruses, and that sparks his friends to come search for him. Well, that leads to a midpoint of boredom. Johnny Depp shows up as a detective, although his story takes too much time to explain, and nearly forced me to sleep.

All in all, “Tusk” is a horror movie with comedy elements. There are some sick moments, some absolute twisted elements. However, there are also comedic disjointed positions. Overall, it’s a movie that fills the time with “what if”, and then launches you into a “Twilight Zone” level production. The end result is one of my favorites, seeing as this movie appears to be more related to a grindhouse film than anything else. It’s slick, it’s done well, it lags a bit here and there, but in the end, you go full Walrus. I loved it. I recommend “Tusk” as an oddity of horror and comedy. I think Troma should’ve done this one, but that’s just me. Smith does well here, and it shows. Check it out on blu ray today.

Elvira Mistress of The Dark Review

As much as I wanted to review every film of the 13 Day of Elvira showcase on HULU, I found myself not being able to meet the demands. The main reason is that I’m a freelance writer and just didn’t get to everything I wanted to get to. However, amidst all of that, I was able to check out the 1988 cult classic “Elvira, Mistress of the Dark” in which we get a bit of horror, a lot of comedy, and some good acting chops in this movie about the tv host with the biggest….hair.


This movie came out in 1988, and Elvira is the main character, played by Cassandra Peterson. She takes on the role and goes behind the scenes of sorts, in which Elvira has had enough of the sexual harassment of her show. She quits when she realizes that she’s going to be rich when her aunt has died and left her something grand. So with that in mind she ventures off to Massachusetts, where small towns bring about small minds. It’s there that we get the main plot point, Elvira has to sell off the house given to her and hope to get enough money to get her showcase on Vegas going. It’s through the plot that we learn there’s an evil uncle that is trying to get his hands on a book of spells to take over the world. That starts off an incredible push that ends up turning more and more impressive as you watch the movie.

Like most horror movies, you get the villain that will stop at nothing to get his hands on what he desires. Meanwhile, Elvira’s antics are played up as she plays aloof to the constant attention that is given to her by the town’s people, and teenagers. Her cleavage shows as usual, and there are moments where comedy overtakes horror, as it should with this type of movie. In the third act, the rails fall off of this and you get a more comedic approach to everything and it’s hilarious to watch. Elvira hams it up as she runs away from her uncle’s satanic influence and fights back only to win in the end. With a little help from her punk rock poodle, she overtakes the bad guys and wins in the end.

This is a straightforward story, fast paced, and full of clichés. If you’re a fan of Elvira than this is a classic for you to watch. However, there are moments where you might find yourself a bit bored. If you haven’t seen this in a while, then you should know that it hasn’t aged very well. Elvira has though, wow, but the movie is not how I remember it. It’s funny, there are some great gags, but it’s not this grandiose thing. Perhaps it’s because I’m older and things that I missed before are now in my face, or perhaps I’m just tired. I’m not sure.

Overall, “Elvira, Mistress of the Dark”, is a cult classic that deserves your attention. On this Halloween, why not buy it, watch it, rent it, or dress up as her? I know I will. Or rather, I will just search for Cassandra Peterson’s adult magazine spread and sit alone in the dark, as I usually do. Until next time, unpleasant dreams!

Looking for grindhouse, horror, or sci-fi films? Please check out our amazon astore featuring all things horror. Don't trust astore? Check out amazon.com, surprisingly they have more grindhouse,horror,and rare sci-fi than you may not have thought possible.

Cannibal Women in The Avocado Jungle of Death Review – Elvira’s 13 Nights of Horror Edition

Hulu and Elvira Team Up 2014

Hulu is running 13 Nights of Elvira and I have been watching, but haven’t had time to sit and review all of them. But low and behold, here I am with another review of the movie and the comedic antics of Elvira on this latest and greatest release. I still pine for the days that I stayed up late to catch her show, and while I did appreciate the boobs, I loved her quick wit, and that’s what you get here.

This time around in the creature feature, we get an absurd horror comedy “Cannibal Women in The Avocado Jungle”, and I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen this one. Bill Maher’s role in it was hilarious, so you know, but the premise of the story is beyond anything I’ve ever seen, and it’s just absurd. I grew up in Los Angeles, and the things mentioned in this movie are just insane. The script is about as good as my favorite porno movie “Sex Commandos”, which tells you how deep this one is. I did however appreciate Shannon Tweed. She is absolutely beautiful here, at least in my opinion. I love the “smart” woman cliché here, and of course the Karen Waldron as “Bunny” is also a funny take on the bimbo in college. I sometimes wish my college years had a “Bunny”, but instead I got a sausage fest at art school when all the ladies dropped out and left me without any sort of engagement opportunities.

Right, back to the movie. The movie has a professor being asked to go into the jungle to find a feminist leader that has gone lost and perhaps may have been taken by cannibal women. When Dr. Margo Hunt is asked to go in, she takes on a young student and seeks out a bounty hunter named Jim to go into the jungle and rescue the lost feminist doctor. The trio move into San Bernardino, California (where there is no jungle), and encounter topless females and lots of action. Ok, no action, no sex, just topless women and Bill Maher’s one liners and stupid bandana on his neck.

The movie flows well enough and at every chance Elvira’s notes come up like “pop up video” and she comes through in full video and sound a few times. She’s more absent here than in the “Hobgoblins” movie, but she’s still featured readily. The movie progresses with a fight to the death between Dr. Hunt and Dr. Kurtz with Jim nearly getting sacrificed by the Cannibal Women. Kurtz of course has become the leader of the feminist cannibal tribe, and Dr. Hunt wants peace between another tribe that is in the region. All in all this gets convoluted and tiring to really watch and explain, but Shannon Tweed and Bill Maher’s constant back and forth made it watchable.

“Cannibal Women in The Avocado Jungle of Death” wasn’t meant to be taken too seriously, and it shows. It’s a laughable movie at best. I would’ve rented it as a teen because it was boxed in an “18” and over box and it promised or at least looked as though there would be more nudity than there was. I didn’t hate it, but I definitely didn’t love it. Elvira’s quips made it watchable, and Maher is funny with his random rants. The slapstick humor here is classic, including Disney jokes, sex jokes, and the whole bar scene where mercenaries were just randomly hanging out was great too. A good romp, worthy of this season and beyond.

Cockneys vs Zombies Review

Not another zombie movie, I thought to myself when my girlfriend decided to play this the other night. I’m a jaded horror movie fan, and it’s been a while since anything has caught my eye. Then the movie progressed, and I was hooked. Cockneys vs Zombies is not your traditional zombie movie, although there are a few things that you will definitely catch in the same light that you will from other movies. I found the beginning to be somewhat ok, but it’s the sum of the parts that really bring this movie to the top of my list of zombie creations in the recent years.

Some construction workers unearth a seal that brings about an outbreak in the East London area, and things really go south from there. Meanwhile, a group of young adults hatch a plan to rob a bank and save their grandparents from uncertain doom that will befall them when their retirement home closes down. That’s when we are introduced to Ray, the former gangster and one of the most badass characters ever concocted in zombie movie lore. Ray is awesome and I hope to be as badass as that character when I am an old dude. Sadly, I’ll probably be a stain on the underwear of old dudes, rather than some badass granddad. Heck, I don’t even have children.

The movie goes back and forth between the robbery, the group of friends, and the retirement home. Equal parts “Shaun of the Dead” and “Day of the Dead” this movie picks up fast, and doesn’t let you go. There’s some light hearted moments, and there are some harsh moments. The gore is amped up, the sequences are suspenseful, and there’s plenty of zombie madness to enjoy throughout this British horror film.

I found the movie to be entertaining, fast flowing, and definitely worth your time. I didn’t think it was the best production, but the characters were enough to hook me, especially the character of Ray and his old friends. I loved the nuances found between hardcore gore and CG effects which were done really well at times. For this being a lower budget film, it really did take on the best of the mainstream, and I enjoyed it greatly.

I highly recommend Cockneys vs Zombies, as it is a fun romp. It’s comedic at times, it’s predictable at others, and it is just overall an entertaining horror comedy. I can’t say enough about it. It’s the first movie I’ve seen in a while that really grabbed me, and that’s a great thing. Pick up the movie by going to amazon here, or whatever it is you do to see movies. I don’t know.