Saturday, November 26, 2011

Advertise on Scary Film Review

For quite some time now, Scary Film Review has been accepting offers for advertising, editorial reviews, and much more. The offers are usually accepted on a private email basis, and are scrutinized heavily. Well, we are opening up the gates for more advertising. Scary Film Review will now open up advertising opportunities to anyone that needs to advertise their website, promotional goods and more.

There are several options to explore in regards to advertising here on this site.

The following are options:

1. Text Link – You can have a text link pointed to your site from the home page. Currently we are a page rank 4/10 website, and it falters from time to time, but we continually strive to provide editorial updates and reviews weekly to ensure that the numbers remain high. This link type can be purchased in 30 days, 3 months (roughly 90 days), 6 months (180 days), and 1-year increments. Email for pricing.

2. Banner Ads – If you want to place banner ads on the site, we can do that at a price. The price is a monthly charge, much like text links are, and can be discussed within budget via email.

3. Editorial Reviews – You can purchase reviews for your dvd, movie, television show, movie trailer or just about anything you could think of. If you are promoting a horror movie, you will not necessarily be promised a “good” review or positive rating, however, you will get a fair chance. Most often I review movies for free and will continue to do so, but if you are looking for promotional consideration beyond my time frame of reviewing, you’ll have to pay for expedited service. These reviews will be in line and stay on the site for the life of the site.

4. Press Releases, Trailers, News – I am open to any ideas that you might have. You can email what you have in mind. I do not post these things unless I'm paid, sorry. There's just too many out there and too many people asking.

The price for the above 4 options are negotiable. I will work with any sized budget that is out there. I’m not looking to get rich, but as it stands, I make minimum wage and work 50 – 70 hours just to get by. I would like to continue to do this site, but the costs are starting to creep up in life.

The Numbers

Scary Film Review receives the following numbers according to Google analytics:

10,673 Page Views a Month

83% Search Engine Traffic
10% Direct Traffic
6% Referring Sites

There are 583 Posts, with roughly 500+ horror movie reviews. The updates range from 3 times a week to 6 times a week depending on financial matters.

The rest balances out to other stuff.

The main page gets hit the most, and subsequent pages are hit and read often. The sidebar is seen on all pages, so if you get a link on page 1, you’ll be on every page.


If you’re interested in advertising on this page, you can email me at sirjorge at gmail dot com with your ideas.

Thank you.

Red State Review

red state
I like Kevin Smith, but I wasn’t so sure about his plans to make another film, this time ditching the notion of comedy and going for horror. His film wasn’t exactly going to break ground, as the details started to roll out, and when it was finally time to see it, I knew I wasn’t going to like it. Red State finally came out to a variety of venues, and mostly online and dvd. The famed director did a lot to promote his film and auctioned it off to himself, and even ranted and raved about the industry as a whole, then he threw a wrench into the machine of the Hollywood pictures game….and in my opinion, losing. Not many cared about this film, and those that saw it were split in regards to reviewing the film, I will try my best to talk about this one, but I tell you, it’s not my favorite.

The film is about a cult in a small town, and juxtaposes their insanity with a small town group of youth trying to get laid. When things go awry for a group of teens trying to get some action, the movie goes into high gear and involves some more heavy-handed cinema that you don’t always see with these types of films. As the film continues, and the craziness of the cult starts to rise to epic levels, a shootout ensues with authorities and church parishioners. At one point one of the kids is nailed to a cross, or rather they try, and at another moment bloody fights happen with gunplay being at the helm of the direction of the film.

There are several ups and downs in this movie, one minute playing to Kevin Smith’s old comedic roles, albeit unintentionally, and then moving to something far more serious for ware. I got tired of seeing the problems continually arise with logic, then somehow resolve themselves with a quick flip of the proverbial switch. The ending was interesting, seeing our antagonist in jail, but it wasn’t the most satisfying.

Red State was marketed as a horror/thriller, but it really left me bored and wondering when I could see Dante and Randal get back to the silver screen. Clerks 3 would be nice, because this film and Cop Out were terrible. I don’t recommend this at all.

It’s Only A T-Shirt

I recently received an email about this awesome limited edition t-shirt company called “It’s Only A T-Shirt” and it kicks ass! The first of their limited edition shirts comes with a full vhs tape of the original Australian exploitation film “Patrick” from 1978! That’s right, if you pick up their first shirt, you get the vhs tape free!

As far as horror fan merch is concerned, this t-shirt company is quite good.

Check out “It’s Only A T-Shirt” here.

I for one am getting one...if I can afford it.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The House On The Edge of the Park Review

Ah yes, the Italians, they sure know how to make a quality slasher flick and exploitation film. The House on the Edge of the Park, however, is not a great quality film in any right, even if the main character was in the Wes Craven classic of similar name. The movie is one of the most boring pieces of exploitation cinema, but features a few saving graces, especially when the revenge is set forth and we see a bit of mercy from the cast of idiots…I mean actors.

The film starts off with a very disturbing scene. A very deranged man chases a woman and then cuts her off, forcing her to stop her car. She then rolls down the window to see what the man is doing, and he forcefully takes her into the backseat and rapes her. This is a harsh one, and sets the tone for the rest of the film, even if we don’t see much violence until the end.

The rest of the film really plots along slowly, with our main character and his buddy going to a villa and playing cards, getting sexually frustrated, and ultimately starting to take over with sinister urges. The two start to assault the homeowners, but over time, one of them starts to realize that it’s wrong, and starts to pull away. As the main character (Alex) decides to start killing, he is defeated and the whole film turns upside down. The main characters launch revenge, and end up leaving the main character lying in a pool (swimming pool) of blood.

The film is slow moving, as aforementioned, and has no major saving graces at time. Sure, if you’re a fan of nudity, you’ll find that there is some great stuff here. Outside of the nudity and deliberate crotch shots, the film is an uneasy one to watch. If you can get past the initial rape scene, you’ll be on a slow burning ride through hell. The House on the Edge of the Park plays on a lot of fears, if you’re rich, and really doesn’t climax that well. I found myself bored of the banter and camera movements within the first two acts, and my girlfriend didn’t even make it to the final acts. I don’t recommend this one, unless you’re a diehard fan of Italian horror, David Hess or Ruggero Deodato. You have better things to do then watch this one, I’m sure of it.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Smash Cut Review

The world of horror doesn’t always allow for lenient reviews, and that’s showcased by my many different updates with terrible information and lackluster enthusiasm. My attempts of making sense of many movies have long gone passed me. Part of the reason is because of my divorce, and part of the reason is because most movies suck. Then rare gems hit me, and I realize that there is hope in the world of horror; this movie didn’t do that for me. Smash Cut started out quite interesting, with a small time movie director making a horror film, and then quickly dives into the world of chaos and serial slaying.

The film looks like what a B-movie would be like in modern times. I know, that sounds odd, but consider the fact that when you see classic cult cinema, it looks a certain way. If you can somehow understand what I mean by that, you will realize that this film is a modern day tribute or sorts, pointing specifically to an era that had to work in 10 day shoots, rather than years of work for one film. This movie is very much a “B” if not “C” level film, and at times has the production value of a porno.

The sound design is ok, but the ridiculous comedic soundtrack really makes for some stupid scenes. The “porno” music style is just not fitting to the film, even if Sasha Grey is the selling point of the movie. That being said, Sasha is not a great actress here, as she delivers her lines in the most unenthusiastic manner possible. I find her facial features attractive, but I can’t for the life of me understand why anyone would want to fantasize about her, as she is not attractive in a sexual manner, at least that’s my humble opinion. She detracts from the film, as everyone around her out acts her.

The gore is turned up to eleven in this film, and while there isn’t a lot of nudity, this film deserves some praise for the idea of a serial killing director, looking to make mince meat out of anyone in his path. But wait, there’s more! The rogue private investigator allows for a bit of balance, even if he’s very odd.

The climax of the film really does play on a lot of cliché, but it works out well. I liked the film enough to sit through it and review it, but the ending was weak. I liked the gore, I liked the idea, and when Sasha Grey isn’t trying to deliver any lines, she’s cute in a way. Smash Cut is not going to win any awards, but it will suffice as a modern cult classic in many ways. I am not sure it will garner much attention at the moment, but give it a few years, and I think it just might be a good option.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

NIghtmares in Red White and Blue Review


I don’t often times review documentaries for this website, but I watched one worth mentioning last night. The film is called Nightmares in Red, White, and Blue and the focus is on the American horror film. It’s a special type of history lesson that follows various styles of the American genre of film, although it starts with the German expressionist side of things.

Throughout the film, it showers information on the viewer about the different decades that have passed in regards to horror cinema. I found it interesting at first, then fascinating, and as it built a story line of horror cinema and juxtaposed it with the generational studies that have intrigued me for years, I was glued to my television set. Consistent looks into the separate films of the past have really garnered a lot of attention as of late, especially on television, but this film is quite different than the others.

The film is a nice narrative of sorts, but it doesn’t try to be an encyclopedia of horror film. Sure, there are different genres covered, and the basic bullet points involved, but you will not find the complete story of all things horror in America. I found that at times they skipped over certain aspects of the 1970’s and 1980’s, but still managed to find some interesting points to consider, all the way through the 2000’s and what some call “torture porn”, two words I hate.

I really liked the presentation found on this documentary, the clips were poignant, and the narration, directors speaking, and insight given to several different films, was definitely worth the time spent watching. Nightmares in Red, White and Blue will not win any awards, but it’s an interesting documentary on the genre that I dedicate this site to. I recommend it greatly.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Camp Hell Review

I always get fooled into getting horror movies that have cool covers. Once again, I was fooled into getting one all based on the cover. This time around, I’m going to try and talk about Camp Hell, even though it wasn’t anything like the cover made it out to be. The cover has a picture of Jesse Eisenberg from “Zombieland” fame, and it’s rather disturbing how much he is NOT in the film. This is classic post-Hollywood career marketing. It happens a lot in horror film re-releases. If you’re looking for more of that actor, you’ll get nothing for your trouble here, so stay away if the only basis of your viewing is in regards to this.

The film revolves around a community of Christian campers that are out in the woods. They are separated by male and female, and they are just enjoying the fun. That is until one of the campers starts having weird dreams, and then starts to see manifestations of satanic influence. As the movie progresses, our main character with the dreams has sex with a girl camper, and then all hell breaks loose. There is a sequence of demon possession, blood flowing from odd areas, and a nice little sewn up ending to boot.

If ever there was a way to make “Christian” horror movies, it’s this one. The majority of the film is a very “preachy” kind of cult film, that tries to manifest itself as right, then when the horror sets in, talks about how maybe it’s not for everyone. It’s a dichotomy that makes the tension work for the title. The film isn’t terrible, but it’s not that great either. There are some moments that are genuinely interesting, but with so many subplots, weird cameos, and lackluster production, the film suffers from bad pacing, too much going on, and lackluster results in the end. I’m not sure whether to cheer or to hate the characters, but one thing is for sure, Camp Hell is nothing more than a cash grab for the fame of the star of “Adventureland”. I don’t recommend this film, but then again, I don’t recommend much these days.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Death Note Review


There are some movies that slip my memory because they are terrible. Then there are movies that I don’t ever want to relive because they are beyond the scope of terrible, and that’s what happened with this one, I totally forgot that I watched it, fell asleep, and then finished it later on. Death Note is a film that has an interesting premise, and is based on an anime of the same name. I will try my best to create some sort of review of this movie, but don’t blame me if I give up mid-way.

The film revolves around two students at a university, one of which receives a killer notebook. He writes a name in it, and they die. The other tries to stop the deaths by trying to reason with the student, while our killer goes insane with his list. The full motion devil character makes for one of the worst pieces of this film, and fully makes me cringe at the memory. Not since I saw the PBS Frankenstein film did I completely laugh at the screen in a horror film.


The film is boring, it offers a certain level of interest with a detective sub plot, but other than that, this film sucks. I got tired of it right away, and would rather not sit through another viewing or even the sequel. A notebook that upon writing in it kills people? Yeah, I would rather just read Goosebumps again. Sorry.

Another bad film to add to the pile of crap movies I’ve seen this year.