Friday, January 27, 2012
Final Destination 5 Review
I’m going to start this review by apologizing to all you 3 readers that are out there still hoping for a comeback. I have had a hard time this year fighting depression, and other things, but you know what? I’m feeling good, good enough to see yet another steaming pile of dog poop we call horror movie production. The latest project I get to review for this site is none other than the hundred million dollar grossing film Final Destination 5 and man do I wish I didn’t see it. There are only a select few franchises in horror that get dawned with five movies back to back, and aside from Saw the recent movies haven’t been that great. This is an example of how you can make a cash grab with 3D and get people like me upset at the same time.
Final Destination is a headache inducing film. The acting is beyond bad, and the visuals are all poorly done, with the exception of some of the death sequences which is the only reason why anyone would want to see this film in the first place. I found the opening deaths from the bridge to be laughable, as the laws of physics just didn’t seem to match up with what I would assume was a death plunge. I bet a lot of people would survive the whole thing, but hey, that’s just my take on things.
There was an interesting subplot in the film that I thought seemed fitting, the whole going nuts and becoming a slasher film fit in with my distraught mind as I was trying to make sense of this whole franchise. Then out of the blue they killed off that person, and then well….the movie really jumped the shark as the end came to fruition.
This film sucked. I hated it. You probably hated it. I can’t believe I had to sit through this drivel, and it made so much money. I’m upset that Final Destination 5 makes hundreds of millions of dollars, and yet I’m stuck here making a pauper’s salary. I’ll review something else…in the near future. But first, I have to forget that I ever saw this.