Friday, November 20, 2009

REWIND: Hatchet Review

This is a cool horror movie. They don’t make them like this anymore, that’s for sure.

The plot focuses on a couple of friends in New Orleans, on a trip into a haunted tour of the bayou. Things go wayward when, the boat the young adults are on stalls, and something in the water begins to attack.

Along the way, there is a story told that there was a family of weird hicks, who had their house burned down. While trying to save the family, the father kills his son with a hatchet, and eventually dies of what they call a “Broken Heart”.

The tagline that got me to watch this film is awesome. Although I think it’s really not true.

“It's not a remake, it's not a sequel, and it's not based on a Japanese one. Old school American horror.”

This film is gorey. It shows people getting their heads torn off, disemboweled and completely ripped to shreds. The sounds during these scenes, doesn’t sound like what I believe something of that nature would sound like.

How would I know?

I don’t know. But this film was gorey!

As far as horror movies are concerned, I’ve been known to say that boobs and gore make for a good time. This film has two more things that make films pretty cool.

1) Humor
2) Visuals

The film does a great job of poking fun at itself, but still maintaining a slight edge. The actors have some good one liners, good dialogue at times, and while the plot is somewhat thin, it still delivers some freakish scares.

How can you go wrong with horror clich├ęs like sawing someone in half, chopping heads off, man in rubber suit (chimera), ghosts, the funny asian dude, dismembering victims, bad teeth, Robert Englund, and well…boobs and gore!

This film is a great piece of horror cinema. It’s grotesque in all the right places, it’s serious in some spots, it’s a true testament of what horror should be…if seriously considered a throwback to the 80’s new wave of horror films that came out.

I liked it.

However, the “sluts” get really annoying, and I wish they died first.

Horror fans, rejoice! An original idea…sort of…and well worth the “unrated” marketing scheme! You can’t go wrong if you like Horror films. This thing is bad ass!

If you're still on the fence with Hatchet, then consider the old formula for horror movies:

A group of young adults head into the woods, where there is a monster/serial killer waiting to get them. The ones that give into sexual temptation are killed, the minorities are killed, and it's up to the reluctant hero and the anti-social one to escape...but will they? Or will evil reign? The Hatchet Dvd is worthwhile on all levels, even if it doesn't star an all star cast; they do a well enough job, all things considered.

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A writer first, cat lover second, and some other stuff too. Human, with lots of faults, and terrible communication.
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