The Langoliers Review

I tend to stay away from the Stephen King made for television stuff, because it is usually tame. However, I had a good 3 hours to kill and decided to check this one out in its entirety. Now, I had seen it in the past, but never with the lens of a reviewer so today I will try to condense a large amount of information into a review for the adaptation of The Langoliers for television.

First and foremost, you are going to notice that this was in fact made for television. This was the 90s and the budget, even if it was large, is no match for what film looks like. This looks and feels a lot like a television show, and you’re not going to escape that no matter how hard you try. If you can get past the looks and feel of the film, you’ll be just fine, but if you’re one of those people that can’t look past the lackluster quality, then you’re going to have a hard time dealing with this miniseries. It doesn’t get better as time goes on either, as the more you watch the more you catch the amateur hour that is this movie. This is highlighted by the way the world kind of “ends” in the third act, leaving you to laugh at the computer imaging that was done all those many years ago.

The movie moves into introducing characters, as there are several people that you have to meet to understand what is going on. The characters are all-different and feature a wide variety of experiences, and drives the subplots later on. The plane has gone through a rift in time, and there’s some insane things going on. They all discover that things push themselves in awkward ways, where electricity doesn’t work, food doesn’t taste good, matches don’t light and all sorts of weird stuff goes on. Meanwhile, one of the characters is telepathic and is driving yet another subplot. As one passenger goes nuts, the rest of the group has to try and calmly get through this rift as they all end up in an alternate universe of sorts.

The movie gets really boring, and you start to realize that this thing is on rails, headed for something obvious like going back to the flight path and going through the rift in the time space continuum. The short story that this was based on must have been far better than this because it really lags in the third act. While there are some nice plot points and interesting moments, you really don’t get many answers and you just want to sleep after a while.

Stephen King might be the king of the written word in the genre of horror, but this is not his best work. I take that back, this is a bad example of adaptation from print to screen, and it shows terribly. I do not recommend The Langoliers miniseries, unless you absolutely just want to watch something Stephen King related. I’d prefer reading his work than watching this one, that’s for sure.

Dahmer Review

I remember the first time I saw the Ted Bundy biopic, it caught me off guard in a way that most movies just don’t. I thought the same visceral reaction would occur with the biopic of another insane person, but alas, it seems that this ship is another slow moving vessel in a sea of terrible movies, and we all get duped. The film I’m going to talk about today is none other than Dahmer. If you’re not familiar with the serial killer, then you’ll have to remember that he was the guy that not only killed his victims, he ate them, and kept many pieces in his fridge. He was caught, then in prison was murdered by another inmate. This is not a high adrenaline story, but it sure has a spiraling out of control pace that becomes the standard for horror flicks of a certain measure.

The actor here would go on to make serious moves in “The Hurt Locker” because he really does a good job of pushing the envelope of psychotic behavior even though he’s very toned down. The plot revolves around Dahmer’s homosexual behavior, drugging men, having sex with them, and then eventually killing some. The artistic camera view during many of the rapes casts an interesting juxtaposition between serious, comic, and unintentionally funny. I found a lot of the midpoints of this film to be boring, tired, and terrible.

If you’re not a fan of homoerotic things, you won’t like this movie, as it turns that notion of Dahmer’s character way up. His main love interest is quite interesting, and the two become the focus of the film as it progresses, only to climax into a frenzy, that would close down the film and showcase a lackluster ending, unlike the interesting facts of Dahmer’s real life. I got bored somewhere along the way, and despite my fascinating with red walls and lights; this one didn’t manage to keep me interested.

Dahmer is NOT like other serial killer biopics. In fact, this is one of the worst examples as far as narrative concerns. However, Jeremy Renner plays him quite well and is really a fascinating performance, even if it feels subdued in a way. The predator here is interesting, the gore isn’t sensationalized, it just seems to be more drama than horror and that’s not the point of scary films. I don’t recommend t his at all. If you must watch it, then watch it; otherwise, I don’t know what to tell you. I didn’t like it, and that’s that.

Extreme Measures Review

I’m not a big fan of romantic comedies, I just am not fit to watch a lot of those cheesy films where the boy meets the girl and the two fall in some sort of weird love and hooray, all is well with the world. However, that’s how the world was first introduced to one of the stars of today’s review, and his name is none other than Hugh Grant. The guy has been the main character in more romantic comedies than most other performers at this point in their career, but people also forget that before he was relegated to romantic comedy, he did dabble in a bit of horror. This thriller/scary movie was made in 1996 and based on a novel and it isn’t as bad as you might think. Today we will try to talk about Extreme Measures, the mid 90s classic.

The story’s main element relies heavily on the premise of a doctor conducting extreme experiments on homeless people that are going to die in the hospital. Instead of having them parish, a rogue doctor uses them to figure out how to cure certain diseases that affect the spine. So far, he hasn’t been able to succeed and much of his experiments have been proven disastrous. When Hugh Grant’s character gets a hold of what’s going on he wants it to stop, but you know that can’t happen, right?

Gene Hackman plays the rogue doctor and he has slipped by getting caught several times, and tries to convince the new doctor that what he is doing is finding a cure for paralysis, which would change the course of the future. When a rogue FBI agent gets involved, the two doctors fight for what they believe all the way into the last sequence in which the movie turns from horror/thriller into police drama.

Extreme Measures takes a horror premise, like that of Frankenstein and then turns it into a morality play more than anything else. Hugh Grant shows his range and Hackman is dead on with his stance on the matter of finding a cure at all costs. There are some sick and gorey moments in this film, with a taste of horror overall but you never truly feel like Hackman’s character is going to win out. The movie is fast paced and has more thrill than scare, but still fits firmly amidst the scary movie genre. If you want to scare yourself, just think about “what if”, and you’ll start to realize that these things could and are happening right under your nose.

The Grey Review

Not all movies have to be marketed or labeled horror to be scary. If you have been following the life cycle of this website, you will know that I have reviewed a lot of movies that were marketed as either comedy, thrillers, or other types and have put them under the microscopic view of why it could be considered a scary film. That is something that you have to understand about this film, especially when you get to the meat of it all. The movie I’m going to try and talk about is The Grey.

The Grey came and went with nothing but a whimper. The plot of the film is about a group of oil workers in Alaska that suffer a plane crash. Many of the die in the accident, but there are some that survive and they all have to band together to try and find a way out of there. As the time goes by each one starts to lose hope and dies off, but not before they realize that they are being stalked by a monster of sorts, this time around it’s wolves.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I thought that the wolves could be werewolves or something far more scary, but the science and notion of the film showers you with a negative view of wolves in general. I for one am with the plot point, as scary as the outdoors are, combine that with a pack of wolves that are trying to eat intruders, and you have for some of the most scary premises ever made. That’s what makes this film work, the fact that the wolves are nature, and there’s nothing you can really do but fight, and die.

Liam Neeson plays the role of leader quite well, and it makes me think of him as Raas Al Ghul all over again. He fights hard to stay alive, and in the final sequence, has one of the most epic looks on his face as he creates a weapon out of small bottles of liquor and a belt. He then goes head to head with the Alpha Male of the pack.

The movie is straightforward, and the way the sounds work with the scenery, really makes a scary sound. There are some straight laced horror sequences here, and they don’t always shave to do with fighting wolves, it is definitely found in the despair of what it would be like to be a modern man trapped in the middle of nowhere. For those that aren’t aware of how big Alaska is, or how vast it is, get a map and start reading. The place is one of the only places in the United States where you will die in the elements and no one will find you, ever. The Grey is not a great movie, but it visually and semi sonically works to scare you when you start to realize how realistic a lot of the problems and answers occur throughout the film. Watch it, you might enjoy it.

Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies Review

It seems like everyone, no matter where they are in history, have to deal with some of the undead coming back to take over. That has to be interesting for those that are rewriting history with nonfiction, like this one, which poses one hell of a premise amidst the popularity of a novel in which our 16th president fights off an array of vampires. Before he was vampire killer, or rather after, I don’t know, he was fighting zombies, or so this film states. The film is entitled Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies and it is brought to you by The Asylum studios, which never sends me screeners so I have to buy or rent their pieces of shi….nevermind.

The movie starts off with a very young Abe watching his father commit suicide because his mother has turned into the undead and it’s only a matter of time before he has to become one. Abe is steadfast and he takes on his own mother by cutting her head off, and that starts us into a story that sees some badass fighting.

The actor that plays Abraham Lincoln, Bill Oberst Jr. and he knocks the hell out of this role. The 46-year-old actor impresses me so much that I was completely drawn into the film. He really poses himself to be as close of a replication to the president as you can get in cinema, and I for one admire that, considering the budget that this film is touting. He is a shining gem amongst B-Movie actors since he can definitely pull this off believably. He goes through the film and even has cliché lines that got a giggle out of me, but he manages to keep composure and goes through the film killing, maiming, and being the best president we’ve ever had.

The story revolves around the president and a select group of men that have to go off into confederate territory and try to squash an uprising of the undead kind, and he does so with such prowess that you’d swear he was superman. The movie takes 75% action and killing zombies, and mixes it with 25% boredom and talking as well as plot setup. Along the way he runs into some interesting characters like Stonewall Jackson, Teddy Roosevelt and the dastardly John Wilkes Boothe!

The film goes by fast enough, and even though Bill Oberst Jr. does a great job, it lackluster and starts to wear thin. The cinematography and direction is excellent, and for a mock buster, this is the best I’ve seen in a long time. It takes a simple premise and does a lot with a little, and though it’s far from my favorite, it’s better than say, “Gangs of the Dead”. Check out Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies today for a quick and fun romp through fake history.

Top 5 Horror Movies Based on Novels

The literary world is full of imagination and it’s no wonder that movies are based on books all the time. However, most epic films that are made from movies are not horror based, and therefore no one really thinks about the two colliding, with the exception of adaptations taken from famous authors like Bram Stoker, Anne Rice, Stephen King, and Clive Barker. Outside of a circle of authors, it seems that the horror novel is not the basis for many horror movies, or at least that’s how the public perceives it. I for one have noticed that a lot of horror novels and science fiction novels for that matter become major motion pictures and that’s why today I wanted to write this list. This is a list that should give you something to watch and read, so here you go, the top 5 horror movies based on novels as presented to you by Sir Jorge (me).

#5 Interview With The Vampire – Oh yes, a vampire movie that was full of innuendo, amazing costumes, and the world that was very unlike the traditional setting that you’d see from say, Bram Stoker. Anne Rice’s vampire novel made for quite the stir starring Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, and a very young actress that some refer to as snaggletooth.

#4 The Silence of the Lambs – The book trilogy came out swinging with some disturbing violence and that translated to an amazing movie that garnered some critical acclaim. The movies based on Hannibal would be well received, even if Jody Foster’s role was replaced in the latter movies, the films kept movie viewers stunned, especially when in one scene Ray Liotta eats his own brains, while still alive. Thomas Harris’s novel really was great source material and made for one of the creepiest movies of all time.

#3 The Amityville Horror – Long before it became a series of films, one of which was in 3-D and one of which starred Van Wilder, this book set the genre on its head. The idea of a true story of a house that made the dwellers go insane and then remain haunted for years to come translated well enough on film, but the book goes into far more detail, as only books can. Jay Anson’s novel really puts up a standard on which all haunted houses should be measured; even if the movies are well, lackluster at best.

#2 The Shining – Stephen King might not like it, some people might think the movie is borderline boring, but Kubrick sure knocked out one hell of a movie when he based his film off of King’s work. The work of Stephen King is hard enough to shove into a full 2-hour film, but somehow Kubrick takes certain elements and makes for one freaky and scary ride, the ultimate haunted house flick turns out to be a psychotic nightmare, or is it?

#1 The Exorcist – The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty really didn’t shake things up until the film based on his work really shattered the realms of horror and perception there of. If you have yet to check out this film or book, you are in for one horrific ride into what drives most religious people to hide underneath their beds at night. This one is not for the faint of heart, even though the movies that came after the original became lackluster and dare I say trite. Or maybe the proper word is tripe, whatever.

There you have it folks, 5 books/movies that you need to check out, because you’re cool and I’m not.

Visiting Hours Review

A star studded cast rounds out todays review, something that I don’t usually get to see often, and it’s from well back into the 80s. In fact, it’s from 1982, and the movie sums up a lot of fears for many people, especially those of us that aren’t too keen about going to the hospital. If hospitals scare you, wait until you check out this slice of horror called Visiting Hours.

The movie stars a lot of big names, including none other than William Shatner! That’s right, William freakin Shatner is in a 80s slasher flick and he’s not too unlike his Star Trek role. Ok, so he’s not fighting aliens or exploring parts unknown, but he’s in this film trying to make sense of all that is going wrong with the world at large. The movie has a great deal of sickness, horror, gore and so much more.

The movie revolves around an activist that is being hunted down by a sadistic killer, and after she survives an initial attack, the killer stalks her in recovery, and all hell breaks loose. The movie also shows a lot of flashbacks and sequences regarding our killer so that you can get a taste of how crazy he is. He stalks the nighttime hospital in full doctor garb, and at one point kills a nurse, rapes a young woman, and attacks yet again anyone that is near him with clues to what he’s doing. I know, an awkward sentence, but eh, I’m trying summarizing this thing without giving too much away.

Much of the violence is after the fact and isn’t prolonged into too much gore. In away the movie feels like it was strategically made for late night basic cable, instead of theatrical release. There’s just too many cutaways for this to be a straight-laced horror film on wheels. That in mind, it’s a slow moving movie for the most part, and a great deal of it doesn’t make sense even if it was 1982.

The killer looks a lot like a mix of The Riddler (Jim Carrey’s version) and Dwight from The Office, making this movie somewhat funny at times. Overall, I didn’t really feel like the movie was a big success in creeping me out, as it just seemed tame at times.

However, there are some sick parts done with slick camera work and timing. The flashbacks are great, but as stated above there’s a pull away of the angle so that you don’t really get the complete scope of what’s going on or how bad things really are. I guess that’s the draw back here, for once you want blood, and when it’s not delivered, you assume the movie isn’t as “horror” related as you might have thought.

There are some genuine creepy moments, but overall Visiting Hours is not a highly recommended film to watch. I was hoping for more hospital horror than just a straight laced thriller/slasher film. That being said, check it out if you want, otherwise watch something with more gusto.