Thursday, April 3, 2014

5 Horror Movies That are Completely Over Rated and Continually Get Recommended To Me By The Masses

The horror movie genre has some stinkers. I know this because I’ve sat through more horror movies than anyone else I know. I also have no friends. Ok, I have 3 friends, a girlfriend, a sister, a pseudo-friend in Stockton, a friend in San Francisco, one in Arizona, one in Seattle, oh never mind. The point is that I spend a lot of time alone with my thoughts and I also watch a lot of movies, so I’ve seen terrible. I mean completely horrific messes, and out of all of those I have seen some seriously over rated tripe.

You will most likely disagree with me on this list, and that’s fine. I hate these movies, and more so I hate how much people tell me that they are so good, when in fact, they are nothing but drivel. I would rather eat a cement sandwich, than have to watch these again, even though I’m sure I’ll catch them one day when I can’t sleep, due in large part because I have sleep apnea and no money to buy the equipment (hint hint, buy stuff from amazon via my links).

5 Terribly Overrated Movies

Sam Raimi is responsible for a lot of great movies in the horror genre, and outside of it. However, he put out a brick on this one. A loan manager is cursed and a demon comes to essentially drag her to hell? The simple plot aside, this movie was rated pg-13 when it came out, relies a lot on CGI for the scares, and is acted out by a junior high drama class. It’s awful. Was this supposed to be a comedy? Because I was laughing at the ridiculous nature of how bad this was. I revisited it recently and can confirm that this is heavily over rated, so stop telling me to see it again. I quit. Prove me wrong, buy the blu ray and review it yourself, I dare you. But first, buy it from my shop. I kid. Use it as a coaster.

I hate these movies. I hate them all. These movies suck and showcase the worst of society. Not only do the characters treat themselves terribly, the movie relies heavily on jump scares without little to no real substance. They made 4 or 5 of these schlocks, and people go to see them in droves. I can’t stand the tedious nature of these movies and how boring they truly are. In the time it takes you to watch one of these movies, you could easily knit a sweater and have a hot dog. The movies are terribly boring, slow moving, and are just not worth watching. I’d rather watch a cuckold theme porno movie than see this. Speaking of which…I’m about due…never mind.

The book is something, this movie though? I don’t know. I go back and watch it and it’s just laughable in a lot of ways. I understand the history, and I get the fear that it struck. I even wrote about this stuff in the past and how good this is to watch, but come on, it’s not that great. It’s overrated, even though it’s a guilty pleasure, it’s not as great as people think it is. The sequels and prequels are worse, and some of them go into pure comedy. Does this stuff really happen? I met a lady in Los Angeles that swears on it and is part of an exorcism group. I don’t know, but I will tell you this much, this movie and the sequels are overrated, but I’d still watch them. I’m a sucker for these things, but on a comedic level, not a serious one.

The first movie in this entry is awful. It’s boredom at its finest and it’s a lot of hype with little delivery. However, the sequel is awesome and creates more of a disturbance than this one. I remember my girlfriend refused to watch this, and one day I managed to coerce her into seeing it. She saw it and asked “that was it?” and that’s how you sum up just how overrated this movie is. Face it folks, it’s not that grand and it’s just internet and other media hype. I love the sequel though, as it featured more gruesome points of interest. This one, however, it’s just not that good.

The number one overrated horror movie of all time is Weekend at Bernies. You see, two friends have to keep a dead man looking alive through 90 minutes of…what? This wasn’t a horror movie? But they made a sequel, and the sequel made money. But it has a dead guy, and he’s rotting and still getting chicks and stuff. You mean to tell me that Chud II was better? Ghoulies Go To College was better? You’re out of your mind, Weekend at Bernies FTW!

I was tired, sue me. What about your picks? Let me know, drop me a line, find me on facebook, or buy some stuff and prove me wrong!


  1. Sir Jorge,

    Awesome list.

    couldn't agree more with you on these 5 films.

  2. King Viswa, that was a joke. Are you new to my page? If so, then take it as a joke, I don't always stick to the script. Thanks

  3. jervaise brooke hamsterApril 9, 2014 at 5:07 PM

    I want to bugger Linda Blair (as the bird was in 1977 when the bird was 18, not as the bird is now obviously).


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A writer first, cat lover second, and some other stuff too. Human, with lots of faults, and terrible communication.
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