Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Believers Review

Believers Box Cover

Believers is a film that I was introduced to during a dvd I got on Netflix. I immediately was drawn to the horror elements of the movie, but overall it is not horror.

The movie is simple in its premise: two paramedics are kidnapped and put into captivity inside a cult compound. The cult is getting ready to do a mass suicide that will save them from a coming apocalypse.

The visuals in the film are really low budget, but not necessarily straight to dvd low budget. The acting is not that good, and the story really takes some time to get used to. It’s a slow moving endeavor, and the action only picks up within the last 10 minutes of the film. So if you like a slow burner, you’re in for a SLOOOOW wait.

There are a few surprises to be found, but overall the film lacks a lot.

Believers Ending Spoiler

The one thing that I really loved about this film is the ending. The ending makes it worth while to stick around until the end. However, this film is not worth owning, maybe a rental if you have to, but its more like a sci-fi channel film, as it lacks in visual and story elements. It is definitely more of a thriller than it is a horror film, that’s for sure.

This movie is from the guys that brought you The Blair Witch Project, which is a superior film in many ways. Even a convoluted nude/sex scene doesn't help this slow moving film.

Check out the movie trailer, and decide for yourself if Believers on dvd is the right thriller to add to your collection.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Eli Roth Announces Kids Movie

Eli Roth Directin pg-13 fare

Well, to a certain extent Eli Roth is making a movie for kids. You see, the last few Eli Roth films pushed the boundaries of where violence, gore, and sexuality could go. So what else is left for the guy?

A movie based around some sort of pandemic! If you're quick to say that Cabin Fever is already a pandemic based movies, then maybe you should consider a different kind of disaster. Like a natural disaster!

Eli Roth's films are awesome, I like his work. Cabin Fever is definitely my favorite of his films, but I don't believe that a pg-13 movie is going to save his dwindling career in the horror genre.

Why can't he just go on and make that "Thanksgiving" movie? Trailer is below:

Sure, Grindhouse had this awesome trailer, but it could turn into a major throwback of epic proportions! I mean he's already on board to make a sequel to Grindhouse of sorts, with 90 minutes of trailers! However, this project announcement is merely the beginnings of potential market share for other horror films to get greenlit.

Not that we need another pg-13 horror film.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Lost Boys 2 Trailer & Dvd Artwork

The Lost Boys, for many people, is a classic piece of 80's psuedo-horror cinema. Meanwhile, others are quick to note the laughable plot, storyline, and the two Corey's found in the film.

After many years, there is a sequel, and while the fight to get it onto the big screen was somewhat well documented, the movie ultimately gets the straight to dvd treatment.

here's the trailer for Lost Boys 2, featuring Mr. Feldman in a starring role, that not for the Sci-Fi channel.

It could be good, it could be bad...the cover art looks ok, and the trailer is halfway decent, but is the Vampire genre really in need of a straight to dvd film? Or can we get Christopher Lee in yet one more vampire flick before he kicks the bucket? We'll have to wait and see won't wee?

In the meantime the new Lost Boys movie should hit stores sooner than later.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Dolls Review

Dolls Horror Movie Poster

The first movie I saw that featured a scary doll was Child’s Play. But apparently the idea of killer dolls hasn’t been something that the late 80’s produced as we saw cinema tackle the idea that toys could be very evil long before this decadent horror decade.

The movie Dolls features an easy premise, with great effects, and moving images, although campy at times.

People that are driving cross country get stranded near an old home, and when they stay the night, because of no other recourse they start disappearing. The house is old, and inside lives two elderly people, one whom is a doll maker, and the house is filled with dolls.

Meanwhile, we are presented with several archetype characters, from the mean spirited parents, to the young at heart single dude, as well as some punk rockers for good measure.

The dolls attack those that are mean and rude, but seem to leave children and young at heart adults alone.

The movie is short, and sweet, but the killings are really cool.

The effects on the dolls are really a testament to good movie making.

I know what you’re thinking, why not just stomp out the dolls when they attack?

They do! The victims go to town trying to kill off the dolls before things get really bad, but they are simply out numbered. The dolls get defaced and once their outer shell cracks, a truly evil thing happens; you realize that the dolls aren’t just plastic, they are flesh and bone, as the adults are being converted into the very things.

The creepy factor is at an all time high in this 80’s horror film, with no major nudity, no major cussing, and all out mystery and thrills. This film is like an episode of Gooesbumps, rather than anything really horrific, and while most people are quick to dismiss the mediocre plotting, I think it’s a really interesting premise and film. It’s not perfect, by any means, but it has enough of a horror element to please most crowds.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Cabin Fever Review

The Eli Roth film that started his directorial career, was one that was met with mixed reviews, to say the least. A grand majority of people that saw the movie, thought it was dumb. However, those that saw it for more than just a cheap b-movie film, have a fond memory of the plot that didn’t involve a serial killer, and more resembled a true to life pandemic.

With all the talk of Bird Flu, I was surprised that more people didn’t enjoy the way this film played out. The film surrounds a group of young adults on a trip to the woods for a nice little camping trip, but once there, they encounter an odd string of events. The events begin to unfold as a skin disease that is onset from drinking the tap water.

Why is the tap water contaminated?

The movie doesn’t really locate a source for the water, outside of a dead body in a stream that flows into the containers that offset the tap. Automatically this raises some questions, but since it’s horror, you really have to suspend belief in order to latch onto a greater plot scenario. As the young adults begin to show signs of skin disease they want to start quarantining friends, drawing lines and taking sides.

The film starts getting really bad, when there is no help from the locals, and there is no one around to contact for help.

Comic relief comes through in the form of a local deputy named Winston. The movie never really takes itself too seriously, with Eli Roth (the director) joining in on the fun, as a hippy stoner guy with a dog named Doctor Mambo!

As things start to get progressively worse, people start falling off due to the skin disease, and eventually only two survive…or do they?

The movie takes a major supernatural turn towards the end, with Rider Strong’s character hitting a deer, getting vomited on, and nearly kicked to death. Then some strange occurrences in the hospital happen, alongside other things.

Interestingly enough, the film carries some major weight at the end, and comes around full circle, with comic relief, and a way out.

If you recall classic horror movies, including not so classic cult favorites from the 80’s and even 70’s you will notice that a lot of films gave themselves a way out for a sequel at the end of the film. This movie is no different, you’ll be glad to know that there is a way out at the end, giving the film a throwback to the older films in the genre.

Eli Roth’s vision of a pandemic that is spread through water, gives paranoid androids (like me) a good freak out. While some are quick to dismiss Roth’s first film for nothing more than sexualized antics mixed with horror elements, I believe that there is enough

If this doesn't at least tickle your fancy for a little horror action, then at least count on gratuitous nudity, vulgarity, kung fu action (I kid you not) racial slurs, and gore to fill your horror movie tank. I recommend Cabin Fever, and always have...ever since I first caught it on Vhs tape.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Masters of Horror: We All Scream For Ice Cream Review

Growing up, I enjoyed the Nickelodeon series “Are You Afraid of the Dark” and loved to read the “Goosebumps” series of horror novels, and this short film seems to be in that vein.

The Masters of Horror series is a pretty cool concept, that gets a wide array of directors to shoot one hour horror shorts and produce some really cool stuff.
This one is quick and easy to swallow.

There is a killer clown who has come back after a long absence to kill off some kids that were mean to him. By giving kids ice cream, their parents begin to start melting to death.

Meanwhile, one of the parents gets wise to the scheme and tries his best to stop it.
This is a rip off if you’re buying it. It’s really cool to rent on netflix, but overall it’s a short winded burst of tension, and release. It’s a good one hour program, but it is rushed and the characters are somewhat disposable, so you don’t really get the full emotional connection as you would if this was a 90 minute project.

We All Scream For Ice Cream is really a good entry in the Masters of Horror series, and it compliments the genre really well, but it’s not the greatest thing to come out of the cable television series.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Videodrome Review

Videodrome is the creepiest, weirdest, and coolest horror film I've ever seen. It features a younger James Woods as a television producer who's looking for the next big thing in "cult" and obscure television. One day he discovers a pirated air signal showing a program called Videodrome, and the fun begins.

At first I was trying to figure it all out, and it looks as though the main character, Max, is trying hard to locate the producers of the program "Videodrome" but along the way the movie has a way of unraveling what is really going on.

Max is dreaming, hallucinating, based on all the things he's viewing. At one point there is a doctor that claims that his hallucinations are due to a brain tumor, meanwhile, he's trying to figure out what is real and what is not real. At one point the main character is whipping a television set, a true metaphor for S&M of sorts, as the woman on the television set pretends to feel the painful strikes of the whip.

The woman, played by Deborah Harry (Blondie) is really good in this film, and surprising how young and pretty she looks, considering her latter work in films like "Spun" doesn't exactly portray her as the beauty she appears to be in this film.

I do not believe that I would have enjoyed this film if I was younger. I remember watching weird stuff like this when I was a teenager and it just didn't stick to me. However, now that I have been a little more traveled and read up, I realize that this film is more than just a horror movie, more than just a weird look into how reality and fantasy become blurs, once dipped in entertainment. This movie is strange, but it's good, and with robotic emphasis on the idea of videodrome as a controlling entity, the film takes a great turn for the better, creating an atmospheric, creepfest that is well worth the price of admission.

This movie is going to suck you in, and never let you go. From the visuals, to the S&M metaphors, and the complete disregard for critical praise, this film is amazing. James Woods is perfect, and the music plays a companion piece fo this amazing movie. It's truly the best creep-out, weird, film I've seen. Check it out, it'll suck you in...literally! Videodrome is a must see, a must buy, a must own!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

The Ruins Review

The Ruins is the latest horror movie to hit movie theaters with not much of a promotional campaign behind it. I didn't really know of a lot of movies opening this weekend for it to compete with, but this movie was great for a few reasons...and not so great for a few reasons.

First and foremost this movie was Rated R! I know that some don't like movies to be rated R, but this was a great thing to me, because that would ensure at least some gore, and some nudity...I'm a sicko I guess.

A group of vacationing twenty-somethings decide to check out an excavation of some old Mayan ruins, when things go awry.

They are stuck on the ruins because the villagers believe it is haunted somehow, and it turns out that the weeds and vines are flesh eating. Along the way delirium sets in, and the friends begin to turn on each other and some start to die, some horrible deaths.

The gore scenes deal with cutting off a guy's legs, stabbing a guy in the heart, and cutting off chunks of human flesh and pull weeds and vines out of the human body. The vines resemble snakes more than anything vegetative and the movie takes some serious gross out turns.

Overall the film is slow moving, and hard to sit through. However, the actors are not half bad and do a great job of acting out the fear, and uncertainty that is evoked through the situation. You almost feel sorry for the characters because they behave exactly how vacationing people would, and not just stupidly cite one liners.

This film is worth the $5 I paid for it (thanks to AMC's $5 deal before noon) and while the premise seemed a little far fetched, it did have enough scary elements to stand up against other dark dwelling movies like: The Cave, The Descent, and creepier films of the same genre.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Blood Car Review

When gas prices rise to 32 dollars a gallon, everyone walks around, or rides bikes. In a sleepy town, a vegan white guy is experimenting with wheat grass makes a gruesome discovery.

His car runs….on human blood!

So the movie progresses through some interesting scenario’s, mainly his quest to get laid thanks to his car being the only one working in the town. (Man, if getting laid was that easy, I’d have the biggest Zombie car in the nation! Especially if the chicks are as hot as the Meat Saleswoman in this film)

The movie is comedic, far more than it is horrific. The most horrific part is the fact that gas prices are so high.

Other than that, Blood Car is the best comedy/horror film I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s a low budget independent film with such great scenes, that you’ll be hard pressed to find anything close to it, or better than this amazing film.
Seriously, this is not a remake, not a Japanese film, it is the most original horror movie idea I’ve seen in long time.

I know what you’re thinking: “Jorge, this is just a zombie car, it’s not even that good.” And to you I say, you’re an idiot! This film has so much social understanding, and amazing scenarios that involve the following:

Kindergarten Teachers
Serial Killings

And if that isn’t enough for you, then you’ll love the fact that this movie isn’t going to be on the AFI 100, or seen by everyone! You’ll look like a true film nerd for having seen this stellar film.

Oh man, this is such a cool movie. This movie is a must own, seriously, it’s a must see, must own film experience!

Come on, you know you want to see it now….BLOOD CAR!!!!


This movie is easier put like this:

A vegan kid that can’t get chicks, invents a way to fuel his car with human blood, then uses it to get laid. But when he runs out of fuel…meaning blood, he starts to kill people left and right. From hitchhikers to bums, he starts killing people in order to feed his habit…his sexual habit.

That’s the plot, thin as it is, but along the way people get killed, blood is everywhere, and lots of jokes along the way. This movie is so rad…I suck at reviewing movies that I really love sometimes.

Oh man, just watch the trailer. Blood Car on dvd is a must own for all!


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