From The Mail Bag Mid May 2010 Edition

We are around half way through the month of May, and I've received quite a few comments, and wanted to use this forum to respond and say thank you to anyone that is leaving comments. I still have no job, and I still am watching horror whenever I can.

Angie said in regards to my Idle Hands Review:

Idle Hands is one of my faves! And now I'm curious about Population 436 so I'll have to look for it :)

Idle Hands was definitely a better movie than most people give it credit. I thought, if nothing else, it flowed easily through horror and comedy, without ditching either genre. As for Population 436? Well, that's hit and miss depending on who you are. I thought it had some seriously creepy "Twilight Zone" elements, and live in a small town, so it kind of sends chills up my spine.

Creepy said in regards to my post The Omen: 666 Review:

The only creepy thing about this movie was the cover.

Creepy, you're probably right. There wasn't enough sum of creepy moments to make the whole move that great. However, it had some great horror elements, if only flashes, to make it a little better than some of the other films I've reviewed.

Anonymous said in regards to my Pumpkinhead Review:

Pumpkinhead is VERY B-movie, but it's actually very interesting, at least to me. You have to consider the love of a father, and what he would do for his son. Then you have to think about how evil/scary Pumpkinhead must be for the father to have someone call him back.

This is definitely the best in the franchise. I can't believe they made sequels to this film. It has a relatively good revenge plot and some serious emotion for a B-Movie. I liked it. I saw it as a kid and loved it, and to this day, enjoy it quite nicely.

Anonymous said in regards to my post, The Gingerdead Man Review:

hahahahahahahaha

Yes. I hear you, yes. There's a sequel too....yep.

willy jerk-off said in regards to my Peacock Review:

I want to bugger Ellen Page.

I'd have to agree with you on that note. She's not half bad.

willy jerk-off also said in regards to my post, The Craft Review:

I want to bugger all the gorgeous young girls in this movie (as they were at the time it was made, not as they are now obviously).

I hear ya man, I hear ya. I wish I had a shot...but nope...not even close.

Well folks, that's the end of this mid-month mail bag. I have been fortunate enough to be able to watch a few horror movies, despite the fact that I'm broke, have no job prospects and am not sure how I survive. But that's neither here nor there, enjoy the site, give me some suggestions, and I'll keep on keeping on.

The Craft Review

In the mid 1990’s it seemed like there were a lot of different scary movies getting pushed, and the genre most often looked at was teen and mid-twenty somethings involved in scary situations. This is why The Craft seemed so interesting at the time. It took four up and coming women and put them in a strange friendship that dealt with the occult.

This film had me scared when it came out, but upon looking back, it’s hard to understand what scared me. Most of this film is kind of like an episode of the twilight zone. The film follows one main character who moves to Los Angeles to attend a local private school, and upon meeting new friends, starts to explore her telekinetic powers. The group of friends end up starting to cast spells, and when things start to crumble in their “magic” circle their friendship suffers, and they start to be at odds.

Unfortunately, this film is just another teenage movie, but they add witchcraft to the story, to make the film appeal to horror fans. The lack of gore, the lack of real nudity, and the laughable moments really don’t do well for the film’s audience, and most often then not, you end up getting tired of seeing the same old stories play out again.

The visuals are interesting, and for being a mid 90’s film, there are some interesting computer graphics and twists added. The film shows its age, and starts to curve towards telling the audience, that it’s ok to play with the occult as long as it is for the right reasons, and that “white” magic is awesome.

This movie doesn’t hold up well at all, and it’s hard to define where this film fits into the scary movie spectrum, but hey, it was a different time, I guess.

Is The Craft a scary film?: No.

It’s emphatic, NO! This film is not scary to me now. However, rewind the clock around 14 years and there was an uneasy feeling that was involved in this film. I guess it’s easy to like the film because the chicks are kind of good looking, but their naïve and stupid “in crowd” mentality, really doesn’t prove to be a good long lasting point of interest for diehard horror fans.

The Craft is a poor example of witch films, but it set the stage for other films like “Jennifer’s Body” to steal some of the nuances. I guess it’s worth at least one look, but it’s not, by any means, a great or scary film.

King of The Lost World Review

I’m not used to reviewing a lot of SyFy channel exclusives. In fact, the last time I tried to watch a made for TV or straight to dvd movie from the channel, it was for the short-lived movie club portion of this site. It wasn’t exactly a rousing success, but I managed to get a few people involved.

Well, this time around I had no other option but to watch a SyFy original, and I didn’t find it nearly as bad as I did “Ice Spiders”. Don’t get me wrong, this film is not great, and in a lot of spots not good, but it manages to have some interesting points.

The main plot of King of the Lost World is much like the show “Lost” at least in that there is a plane crash, on a mysterious Island, a man that knows how to diffuse a bomb, carries a gun, and isn’t saying a whole lot, and a group of strangers that must form a bond to move forward.

If being stranded on an island wasn’t enough, the fact that there are man-eating Spiders, King Kong (look alike), and other baddies out there, makes the premise somewhat more palatable.

The first thing you’ll notice about this film is all the stock footage that you get. This film has a great deal of stock “island” footage, and at moments looks amazing, but more often then not looks like a cheap travel video, begging for a voice over. While I appreciate the nuances, the fly-bys wear thin when the film progresses to what is obviously green screen, and closed sets. If they are on location, they did a terrible job trying to showcase that notion, and most often it just looks like a two or three room panel.

The acting isn’t half bad. Sure there are some stupid moments, but there are some professionals involved and I didn’t hate the acting, even if it seemed forced whenever there was a monster on screen.

The characters are all stereotypical. You have the young teen, the big foreheaded actress that falls in love with one of the characters, or just has one of those “we’re going to die” moments. The tough guy, the loner, the old man, the former military guy, and the disposable characters that are killed, oh, and there’s the mysterious guy that knows too much for his own good and is most likely in on it.

The pacing is slow. It’s tense, but slow. You kind of want to just see what happens next, but at some points you just want to fast forward and get this over with. It forces you to follow along, on rails, and really doesn’t do much in the way of moving the suspense.

Much like most horror films, this film has the crew being eaten one by one. The island seems to be the villain, until the third act reveal of a traitor amongst them. There is no major gore, although there was a sick spider cocoon killing that had one character reaching into skeletal goo, which was kind of a neat effect. Most often then not, there’s nothing more than a trickle of blood, if anything.

Is King of The Lost World A Scary Film: No.

Despite the weirdos on the island entrapping people, the prehistoric sized monsters, and the predictable story, this movie is NOT scary at all. In fact, if it was meant to be scary or sci-fi in any sense of the tradition, it fails miserably. Sure, on paper this movie sounds like a gem, and admittedly, the synopsis made me curious, but it’s low budget effects, mysterious plotting, and lackluster effects really make this movie a hazard.

I do not recommend King of the Lost World, unless you want modern day B-Movie punishment. It’s not even B movie; it’s more like C or D movie. I’ve seen worse, I’ve seen better, and this falls somewhere between the two.

REWIND: Blood Car

One of the early reviews of this site definitely was a great one. this independent film really took a concept and made it work. I loved it, and recommend it today. I recently re-watched it, and man, I was blown away with how simple it was. It features a great array of horror specific keynotes, and a bunch of great moments you don't find in a lot of today's mainstream horror movies.



When gas prices rise to 32 dollars a gallon, everyone walks around, or rides bikes. In a sleepy town, a vegan white guy is experimenting with wheat grass makes a gruesome discovery.

His car runs….on human blood!



So the movie progresses through some interesting scenario’s, mainly his quest to get laid thanks to his car being the only one working in the town. (Man, if getting laid was that easy, I’d have the biggest Zombie car in the nation! Especially if the chicks are as hot as the Meat Saleswoman in this film)

The movie is comedic, far more than it is horrific. The most horrific part is the fact that gas prices are so high.

Other than that, Blood Car is the best comedy/horror film I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s a low budget independent film with such great scenes, that you’ll be hard pressed to find anything close to it, or better than this amazing film.
Seriously, this is not a remake, not a Japanese film, it is the most original horror movie idea I’ve seen in long time.

I know what you’re thinking: “Jorge, this is just a zombie car, it’s not even that good.” And to you I say, you’re an idiot! This film has so much social understanding, and amazing scenarios that involve the following:

Boobs
Sex
Kindergarten Teachers
Vegans
Blood
Gore
Serial Killings

And if that isn’t enough for you, then you’ll love the fact that this movie isn’t going to be on the AFI 100, or seen by everyone! You’ll look like a true film nerd for having seen this stellar film.



Oh man, this is such a cool movie. This movie is a must own, seriously, it’s a must see, must own film experience!

Come on, you know you want to see it now….BLOOD CAR!!!!

OOOOH! BLOOD FREAKIN CAR!!!

This movie is easier put like this:

A vegan kid that can’t get chicks, invents a way to fuel his car with human blood, then uses it to get laid. But when he runs out of fuel…meaning blood, he starts to kill people left and right. From hitchhikers to bums, he starts killing people in order to feed his habit…his sexual habit.

That’s the plot, thin as it is, but along the way people get killed, blood is everywhere, and lots of jokes along the way. This movie is so rad…I suck at reviewing movies that I really love sometimes.

Oh man, just watch the trailer. Blood Car on dvd is a must own for all!

Peacock Review

I don’t usually find a lot of horror movies that are creepy enough for this site, without being overtly scary, gorey, or have a marketing scheme that makes it sound horror. But I was pleasantly surprised by this horror movie that was in the tradition of Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. Peacock is not going to appeal to a lot of horror purists, but I found some of the moments to be quite seriously, one of the creepiest characters I’ve seen Cillian Murphy play.

The plot of this film revolves around a private bank clerk in the city of Peacock. John Skillpa is a quite guy and doesn’t really bother anyone, and doesn’t allow anyone into his circle of life.

He has a secret. He’s a woman named Emma too, and he starts to lose track of his identity and people start finding out the truth, and it starts to scare him.

When a train caboose falls off the tracks into his backyard, he loses his mind, and he really starts to showcase some creepy factors. The rest of the film involves him and his split personality “Emma” trying to figure out what is real and what is fake. Meanwhile the city is trying to get a political event near the train, all of this while his former lover is trying to get money to leave town.

The setting is creepy, and the build up is even worse. By the time someone dies in this film, you’re invested emotionally into the characters and aren’t sure where this is going. The movie depends largely on Murphy’s performance and it’s quite good. He legitimately looks crazy at moments, and some parts of the film utilize clever editing to make you think that Emma is not really the same person.

Even though this film smells of “straight to dvd” at times, it has some very creepy editing, and the slow burning build to the final climax resembles the final twists and turns that brought Psycho to the world. The visuals are professionally done, and the color tones strike the mood and balance quite well.

Is Peacock a Scary Film? : No.

While I thought the film was quite creepy, and had elements of horror. I didn’t find myself scared too often, although there are horror elements. I found that the film hinged carefully not to cross over too far from the slow pacing, and that’s a good job. I like how the film feels older, it feels like it was meant for a different era, but I found myself wanting another piece to the horror quotient. I didn’t quite feel that, despite the film’s pull towards horror elements.

I appreciated the film for what it was, a thriller, but thought it was worth mentioning on this site because it had some great classic horror ideologies, specifically the way the camera moves in towards the end of the film pushing this sort of “Alfred Hitchcock” type of sequencing.

I don’t recommend Peacock to everyone, as it doesn’t quite deliver in the end. However, I did find the visuals good, so you should definitely check it out.

Scary Games

Recently I was introduced to a cool place where you can play free games. I am not much of a gamer these days, because I end up hustling more often than not and can't really "play" online games.

However, I was pleasantly surprised with some of the horror games I found on gameshed.com.

I actually spent half of my day yesterday playing games. I haven't had this much fun online in a long time. I used to hate flash too, but man, this is a quality gaming site.

I started with Zombie Terminator, and wow, the gaming mechanics have really improved since the last time I was playing games online. It reminded me of that horror playstation game, Loaded and Re-Loaded, only faster, and easier to control.





Then I moved onto Zombie Survival Outbreak, and was floored by how good the graphics and motions are. I seriously couldn't believe how fast the game works, and how gorey it is.





I had a ton of fun playing Purgatorium, a simple point and click game that is as creepy as any playstation or classic pc game I've ever played.

I cannot believe how creepy and good these games are, and how addicting some of them are. Purgatorium especially got creepy with the sounds, and the on screen violence, so subtle, but man, it was good.

I'm always up for a scary movie, but man, this is some cool gaming. Flash has gotten a lot better in recent times, that's for sure. If you want to kill some time and zombies you gotta check out these scary games.

REWIND: I Present Evil Ernie

Evil Ernie is a comic book character from Chaos Comics. I ran into some cool artwork that was so horror related that I couldn't pass up sharing it with you, my 2 readers left.

First though, I have to apologize at the amount or rather lack of amount of updates and reviews. I've been juggling a LOT of different things. I've been reading more for reviews that I'm now sponsored to right. I've been picked up by Random House publishing to be a reviewer, unpaid for now, but it's nice to get free books. I'm also juggling more freelance work, because I need to pay off my debts which are immense. Plus, amazon affiliate links don't pay me very well at all. In fact, no one buys anything.

So today, I was going to get "Frankenhood" reviewed, but I didn't get it in the mail yet. Sometimes the USPS dictates how far I can review, so for Friday I'm hoping to get that reviewed for you guys.

In the meantime, I got these screens from Evil Ernie, and they are large photos, click on them for detail. Evil Ernie is like Slash from Guns N Roses mixed with Eddie from Iron Maiden, which is rad. Click the images to get bigger versions, and please support me by sticking around.