Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The Haunted Casino

A young man inherits a run-down casino from a distant relative and brings a few of his friends along to check it out. Unfortunately earlier employees of the casino have been killed by the relative and they now haunt the casino as ghosts, eager to get their revenge on the new owner. The story is like any other badly though out horror story, with no big surprises and a very predictable ending.

The story line is extremely vague about why the ghosts haunt the casino and what can be done to stop them. It is very unclear if the motive for the killings are to get silver stored away by the relative who previously ran the casino or if it is about the revenge. To be honest the silver motive doesn’t make much sense as Ghosts wouldn’t really need silver.

The backgrounds of the characters are also lacking a lot in credibility. A guy inherits a casino from a family member he does not know and has never met or heard about, because he is the next of kin. There is no mentioning of any other family members or what has happened to them. Obviously these things make the plot work but it just shows Brand’s lack of ability in creating believable characters. On the other hand he is still great at creating indecent jokes and senseless violence.


The last thing to mention about this movie is that it should maybe have raised the alarm bells when a movie is market under three different titles; Dead Man's Hand, Casino of the Damned and in the end Haunted Casino. I guess you get what you can expect from Full Moon. A horror movie specked with cheesy lines, bad acting and a predictable story line.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Top 5 Valentines Day Movies

The month in which lovers decide to enjoy their courtship and all that jazz is fast approaching. For lovers of horror movies the day can mean a nice romantic dinner followed by a movie of epic gore, followed by whatever it is you’d like to do afterwards. For this list, we’ll focus on the top 5 Valentines Day movies. It’s bittersweet for me because February 14 is my birthday, my sister’s birthday, and a day in which society says that I should be even nicer to my girlfriend, although I try to do that daily. Whatever the case is, here are 5 movies you want to check out.

#5 My Bloody Valentine 3D

A mining community gest an insane bloodbath of terror in this remake, which was not necessarily needed, but still got made by Lionsgate. I for one saw it in theaters when it came out, and was thrilled with the way they did it. The 3D is a bit overblown, but I found it to be quite alright when I saw it again at home. In theaters, I didn’t find it to be as good as I did later, and it is now my #5 pick. You can scope this one out new/used by clicking here.

#4 Let The Right One In

I love foreign horror movies, heck I love foreign movies in general. This one is the better version as it is striking and quite insane when the reveal is finally peeled away. This Swedish movie doesn’t force you to use an allen wrench to watch it, it simply presents a budding relationship between a young vampire and a boy, and well, things get bad, really bad. You’ll enjoy it on a level of romance that is sometimes left to childhood sweethearts or tarts, whatever. You can buy it new/used by clicking here.

#3 Scream

Who is killing off teenagers in a small town? The high school kids each gets taken out and when we are introduced to the killer it’s all about a lack of SEX. My girlfriend and I named our cat partially after the main character, and this was an awesome flick that still holds up today. Scream produced a ton of sequels and even the latest one had me enjoying the popcorn one more time. This is a good one; check it out on the special lover’s day. You can buy it new/used by clicking here.

#2 Bride of Chucky

You know you can’t miss this one, it’s a loving tribute to couples everywhere, and Jennifer Tilly is smoking hot as a little doll. Chucky gets a new gal pal and they seriously want to takeover. This is a classic, it’s terrible, but hey, not all horror movies are going to win Oscars, ok. You can buy it new/used by clicking here.

#1 The Bride of Frankenstein

When it comes to custom making a woman, here is an awesome example of why you should just leave it up to God. In t his sequel to the original, the Bride of Frankenstein is created, comes to life but has a mind of her own! Oh now, a woman that thinks for herself? What next women drivers? I kid, I kid, but come on; this is the number one movie for lovers, right? Right? Click here to pick it up new/used or in a box set.

What are your thoughts? Drop me a line, let me know what you think, it’d be nice to have comments on here.

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If you want to support the efforts of this site, and me (sir jorge) you can do so by buying things on amazon through the links I provide, or you could donate some money via the link in the sidebar. If you would like to see LESS ads, you can subscribe to this website via the RSS feed link on the right. I am 100% freelance, and a pro-writer, I only write and go to grad school, so this site helps me get a cup of coffee and rent horror movies. Please help if you can, otherwise, enjoy the blog.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

A Piano In the House Review

When it comes to Twilight Zone, there are episodes that are scary and there are episodes that rely heavily on the human condition. They exhibit humanity in a way that is going to be quite difficult to find scary. In this 1962 episode we go through the human emotions that we most likely have to deal with on a regular basis as adults, that of lying to ourselves.

The show is quite interesting, it features a variety of different takes on the classic notion of be careful what you wish for. Once again, I had to think about a variety of different points in my life while watching this, and each of the plot’s twists and turns recycled moments where I could relate to the showcase. This cautionary tale from the show really uses a great amount of timing to deliver the final punch line of what is otherwise a practical joke on the main character.

A Piano in the House follows the story of a man that wants a player piano in his house for his wife. He gives it to her and tells her that she could never learn to play it, so he buys a player piano that automatically plays music. However, when you play songs it causes the true nature of the listener to come out and that’s where we see some greatness in psychological story telling.

Think about it in your own life, do you ever act differently amidst certain stimulus? If the answer is, no, you’re a liar. There are certain things that make us louder, truthful, and even psychotic. I know for me, drinking opens up a wealth of rambling that is not worth listening to.

This episode was ok, it wasn’t my favorite, but it definitely was worth noting for the way personal relationships can grow sour. There is a cool twist at the end, so make sure that you check this one out.

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If you want to support the efforts of this site, and me (sir jorge) you can do so by buying things on amazon through the links I provide, or you could donate some money via the link in the sidebar. If you would like to see LESS ads, you can subscribe to this website via the RSS feed link on the right. I am 100% freelance, and a pro-writer, I only write and go to grad school, so this site helps me get a cup of coffee and rent horror movies. Please help if you can, otherwise, enjoy the blog.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Paranormal Activity 3 Review

Paranormal Activity 3
(buy from amazon here)
I heard a lot about these movies and every year there are a lot of different ads being pushed about the movies. I’m not necessarily a big fan of scare tactics which is what the movie series is all about, well, that and shaking camera footage. If you guessed that I would be reviewing Paranormal Activity 3 than you are probably psychic or you read my post-it notes. I managed to sit through this sequel the other night instead of reading a book, and I am regretting it, but then again, I regret a lot of the movies that I end up watching for the main purpose of reviewing on this website. Sure, I’m a fan of horror, but some things are just awfully slow moving. With that in mind, here are my petty thoughts on this movie.

The movie is your classic haunting tale at first. A family goes into a house and bad things happened before. But that’s not how we are introduced, a box of videocassette tapes is delivered and through the footage strange things start to happen in the home. Is it a ghost? Is it an entity? I don’t know, but it sure is creepy when things start to happen.

You have to pay attention to what is going on throughout this movie. I turned away to stop my cats from killing each other and my girlfriend told me something crazy happened. I could’ve rewound the movie but why? This isn’t vhs era, man I miss those days. Remember the oversized porn boxes? They had cardboard trays inside, oh never mind. There are a lot of boring, things that you will find in this movie especially a lot of dead air. The camera moves left to right and no sound is heard, and at times only a sheet is seen. However, much like a “Where’s Waldo” book, you better be ready to notice what is going wrong, otherwise it’s very quiet.

By the time something really starts to happen, you don’t care, I know I didn’t. Sure there were some moments where evil seemed to takeover, but I didn’t really like it.

My main problem with this movie was that the entity in the movie focused at o ne point at harming a child. I always find that killing children, abusing them, and targeting them for the sake of horror or entertainment is just not something I want to enjoy. It bugs me. It’s odd because I have seen some sick stuff, including many graphic violent and rape scenes, but when you mess with a child, I start to lose interest. With the exception of “Who Can Kill a Child” in which the children were killing all adults and if it the sole survivor didn’t punch out a few children, he was a goner just like the rest of the party.

Paranormal Activity 3 is boring, yet effective. I can see why many people love it, but I don’t know if I loved it. No, I do know, I didn’t love it. It’s slow moving, it’s creepy, and well it’s boring. I did find the jump scares effective, but it really isn’t that great. Maybe you’ll disagree, and if so, drop me a line, otherwise, eh, it’s ok at best.



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If you want to support the efforts of this site, and me (sir jorge) you can do so by buying things on amazon through the links I provide, or you could donate some money via the link in the sidebar. If you would like to see LESS ads, you can subscribe to this website via the RSS feed link on the right. I am 100% freelance, and a pro-writer, I only write and go to grad school, so this site helps me get a cup of coffee and rent horror movies. Please help if you can, otherwise, enjoy the blog.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Hellblazer Original Sins Book Review

Original Sins Volume 1
(buy on amazon click here)
For fans of horror literature and comic books all the same there wasn’t a lot to love in the mainstream, although there were always graphic comics released in the underground. Then things started to unravel in the late 80s with a lot of super hero stuff getting dark, so some of the mighty comic companies put out a horror themed book that would change the face of one young reader’s mind (me), and that book was Hellblazer. We were introduced into a character that fascinates throughout the series and it all starts for new readers with Hellblazer: Original Sin a graphic novel for fans that haven’t picked up all the issues of this dying series from Vertigo.

Original Sins is the first 9 issues of the comic book series alongside Swamp Thing #76 and #77 towards the end. Readers get introduced to the series from the beginning and a little taste of where John Constantine first started out in another series, which is usually how these things work out. The character is a chain-smoking lad that comes from Liverpool and runs into demons, supernatural worlds, and gets into some dark subject matter that might offend youngsters and parents alike.

He’s a perfect portrait of an anti-hero, an ass of a man that is somehow cherished and dare I say loveable. He has flaws, but there is a good sense of caring written in to his mean streak as he looks into a variety of cases of the unreal. From the very first official issue of his series we find Constantine looking into the case of a demon possession through New York City much like many super hero characters before him. The demon in question jumps around and makes serious problems for our hero. He must get the help from a magic man named Papa Midnight who aligns himself from time to time with John to control demons and the likes. He got his own spinoff at one point.

As you continue to read Original Sins you start to go through the story of Constantine fighting demons in our world that are (for lack of a better word) yuppies by nature and are watching economic growth and the likes. Readers are introduced to a female character that saves the humanity of our antihero, her name is Zed and lets a bit of a foil come through when dealing with what is otherwise a solo project for Constantine. The book continues through story after story of religious and satanic entanglements and really poses to be an interesting arc of stories from the original issues before getting treated to a cool two-part Swam Thing story from the past.

Should You Buy John Constantine Hellblazer: Original Sins?

The short answer is YES.

The first volume of this fascinating series gives you a good taste of everything you’d want from a horror comic book. It includes original covers, sketches from the artists and if you’re a fan of Dave Mckeane than once again you will be treated to awesome artwork. Even though the series is going to be put to an end, you clearly see why it lasted so long with this first book collecting the first signs of life for the iconoclast. Vertigo does a great deal for fans of alternative graphic media, and I for one am a huge fan. John Constantine Hellblazer Original Sins is available by clicking here. It gets a 5 out of 5 rating in my humble opinion.

Support Scary Film Review 

Amazon Online Store

If you want to support the efforts of this site, and me (sir jorge) you can do so by buying things on amazon through the links I provide, or you could donate some money via the link in the sidebar. If you would like to see LESS ads, you can subscribe to this website via the RSS feed link on the right. I am 100% freelance, and a pro-writer, I only write and go to grad school, so this site helps me get a cup of coffee and rent horror movies. Please help if you can, otherwise, enjoy the blog.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Texas Chainsaw 3D Review

Texas Chainsaw 3D Suckas!
True fans will love it; fake fans will call it stupid.

Last weekend I was excited, I took my girlfriend to see Texas Chainsaw 3D and was excited to see something horror related come to full release, and I was adamant about seeing it. I was reading early reviews on twitter and couldn’t believe how many people were trashing it, including a site that claims they review the “best horror movies” and I immediately went on a tirade to try and cajole people into having fun at the movies once again. I did get feedback from someone that listened to my cries for desperation and end up going through with it and they LOVED IT!

The movie follows up directly after where the first one ended, and it featured some of the same style of film making in the opening credits. The story follows a young girl that is the last female of the family that was killed after the original film concludes. The film features Tobe Hooper’s characters, Bill Moselely, and so many other original actors from the original, and I could’ve sworn that Tobe Hooper produced it according to the credits that rolled before the film, but I’m not 100% sure if that was the end result.

The movie followed a good overall story where the heir to the home of the original family of horror in Texas has a miserable time dealing with her cousin. When leather face realizes that she’s a family member he turns into a sort of antihero that punishes those that burned down his family’s home. The movie then leaves a gap open for subsequent sequels.

There are a lot of different pieces to this puzzle, but the most important parts are that we might get a new set of movies that are related to Tobe Hooper’s original characters. I thought the movie was fun, great, and full of good 3D jump-starts. I saw it in a sold out showing with a lot of African American teenagers and it was the most fun I’ve had in years. Not since Freddy vs. Jason have I fully endorsed seeing a movie in theaters with a crowd. I was rolling in my seat, enjoying myself, and just loved every minute.

Sure, there are dumb moments, sure there are parts that seem overly polished, and logic can easily be interjected to ruin the fun, but you know what?

This is NOT an Oscar movie; it’s a horror movie. If you didn’t like it, you don’t like the genre. It’s a fun romp, much different than the original, much more like the second movie with Dennis Hopper and a great continuation of the story. From what I read online Tobe Hooper loved it, and if anyone didn’t, screw you. I’m sick of all the negative reviews, people should see this if they are fans, and they did, #1 movie in American baby!

HELL YEAH!

Loved it. You will too.

Support this blog’s efforts by donating to the right with the “Donate Button” or buy something via amazon, thank you.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

The Dead Zone by Stephen King Book Review

Can you picture Christopher Walken here?

The Dead Zone is one of the books from Stephen King that lives on due in large part to the movie, and long time cable series that ran for 80 episodes. When it came out, I’m sure enthusiasts were all about it, as his name truly was one of the big time names in horror literature at the time. This book, is often times noted as being very much a tightly wound thriller with elements of horror, and more leaning on dramatic story telling than gore or violence. I agree, it’s definitely heart felt in many ways.

(buy on amazon)
Remember The Ned Zone?

The Simpsons did a parody of this story in a quick capsule of an episode during Halloween, and I found it hilarious, as many people did, and if you remember the plot from that short cartoon, than you already know what to expect. John Smith gets into a serious accident that keeps in a coma for many years and when he wakes up, he has a serious psychic ability, one that he didn’t desire or want. The pendulum of duality swings heavy in this book, as Smith has to cope with the blessing of knowing what’s to come and, well, knowing what’s to come. As the book continues he ends up finding himself seeing a future where the wrong political party is in charge, creating a nightmare world that he must figure out how to stop before it happens.

Another Big One, No Pictures

For those that are completely enthralled with the work of King, this is another winner. A long drawn out tale that really can be summarized rather quickly, but if you consider the style and who’s the writer, you will note that it’s another piece to the bigger horror puzzle. With The Dead Zone, Stephen King creates a big “what if” scenario that has haunted many every 4 years when election time comes in.

I give this book a 4 out of 5, not necessarily great, but fun twisted political thrills done dirt cheap. Speaking of dirt cheap, you can pick this book up via amazon.com and get free shipping on orders $25 and above by clicking here. If you want to support this site, donate $1 and help me get a cup of coffee by clicking the donate button on the right of the page. What are your thoughts on this book? Drop me a line.



Wednesday, January 2, 2013

The Stand by Stephen King Book Review

The book that eventually scared my mom about the end of the world.

The Stand by Stephen King is one of the most popular books to come out from the master of horror, and it is one of the highest searched terms on the Internet, to this day. I’m surprised to see how many people are continually looking for this novel even though it’s been a long time since the original release, and it’s been a while since the television series first aired.

This is definitely a large book, with a great deal of pages, as King does tend to write a great deal of text to create his works. Often times comparing himself to McDonald’s in terms of literature, you can definitely get a good feel for his work with this one as he takes a great deal of time to labor the points that he wants to make across several storylines that intertwine often. The hardcover is worth getting, and if you find The Stand Hardcover in new condition, buy it for your bookshelf, it looks great.

The Stand (buy from amazon)
The Plot of The Stand

As if readers were surprised, the end of days occurs through another pandemic. Much like swine flu should’ve made this book another Nostradamus classic, King takes us through a tale of a deadly plague that has caused the country to go from happy go lucky to scared and afraid. Everyone around the country is turning up dead and survival seems to be quite difficult as the plague is swiping anyone that breathes.

You are introduced to a lot of characters in the first half of the book, and if you are keen on taking notes, do it, because you are going to get lost with the sheer amount of people that get thrown at you fast. You get little background stories for each one, then you are thrown into a scenario that is not unlike other similar plots where a group bands together to hopefully make it out alive!

You are given two sides of the coin, with some holy rollers (as I envisioned them) having to cross paths with some sinners (going to Vegas) and making sure that the world comes out alive is definitely on the mind of each party, whether they show it or not through the text.

A Big Book With No Pictures

This is not a hard book to read, it’s an easy one. However, there is a LOT of writing. If you are a fan of the writer you already know this, and you’ll probably be prepared for what is to come. However, if you’re not familiar this is going to be a daunting task because it’s that big. However, it’s well worth the investment.

Amongst the best dystopian stories, this one seems to be a good epic one that is definitely going to provide readers with hours upon hours of entertainment. This is a great example of why you want to invest in books, they are far more entertaining than movies, and King does his best to add so much description and plot to his characters that you truly feel that you’re getting your money’s worth.

Is this truly how the world Ends?

I ended up asking a lot of questions about the end of times, and it is apparent that King thinks about it in a religious sense after reading the book. There is no way to condense all the plot, all the stories into a quick review, so I’ll just have to say that it’s about a flu, two groups of people, and a juxtaposition of good and evil set in what may just be the near future.

I give this book 4 out of 5 stars. If you are in the market for a horror novel to read, this is a good one, and you can buy it by clicking here today, and if you buy some other books along the way you can get free shipping. If you’re looking for something cheap, buy The Stand for as low as a penny by clicking here.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2013 Scary Film Review Manifesto

2013 Is The Year of Horror Movies

When I first started this blog, I didn’t want to get into a way to make money. I was living in Seattle at the time and I had a lot of time on my hands before I had to walk 4 miles (in the rain) to work. I was living a dream. I had moved away from Los Angeles to pursue other ventures, and I was definitely in a world that I was not familiar with, but it was exciting. Every new day seemed to blssed and new for a while. The first year was amazing, then things slowly declined and as time went on things changed in the Seattle landscape and I was forced to move away.

I ended up in Moscow, Idaho where I hated to live but made sacrifices to make things work. I fell into a depression that would last more than 18 months, and eventually divorce was imminent.

I didn’t feel like watching horror.

I picked up the pieces and started to write again, and it was inspiration from video stores lin Los Angeles, California that made me start to love the genre one more time. I started to review anything I could watch and in the process was able to meet some cool people and ended up with a wonderful girlfriend too. With the help of my girlfriend I have been able to make a 180 in every aspect of my life and have been able to continue reviewing horror movies on a regular basis.

With the reflection of the past few years and this site looming, I debated whether or not to shut scary film review down. I wasn’t sure I wanted to continue and the revenue that I get form the site is near nothing. After 700+ posts, and 1,000+ links to amazon, begging, pleading, ad sales, and more begging I haven’t turned a profit. I nearly shut the doors.

2013 New Horror Reviews

I’ve decided to keep things going, fresh and clean. I didn’t change the design, I’ve added a donation button and I am still begging for support. If every one of our fans gave me $1 I would able to reinvest in this blog in ways that would only grow it as a community endeavor. I could get better prizes, watch more movies in theatrical release, and give back to you, the loyal reader.

But alas, that seems like a pipe dream.

Scary Film Review will continue to love the genre, even when tragic events question the validity of the art form.

My name is Jorge, aka Sir Jorge, and I am your author and lover of all things macabre. If you at all care, or want to support the cause Please follow the amazon links and bookmark them. Order your goods through them, and help me keep going. I am a professional blogger and this site is one of my only forms of income while I pursue a Master’s degree and try to get into academia as a teacher. Until then, your support is greatly appreciated in this new year.

Until the first review, enjoy the horror movie blog that almost closed down.

- Jorge

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