Thursday, May 31, 2012

End of the Month Deathtoll May 2012

Well folks, it's the end of May, and that means I post a list of reviews I did this month. Here are the reviews I did, and you know you like it. If you missed anything, here you go. For June, I'll be reviewing as much as possible, as I'm making a commitment to not only review more Twilight Zone, but also anything horror I can get my hands on.

You can always link to this page, send me a message, recommendations and so much more via comments or my email sir jorge at gmail dot com. Thanks for reading, thanks for patronizing the sponsors, etc.

  • The First Movie To Scare Me in a Long Time: S&Man

  • A Pseudo Snuff Film Turns Boring – Behind the Mask...

  • Return To Horror High or Return of Bad Slasher Com...

  • 5 Slashers Worth Buying Right Now

  • I Know What You Did Last Summer and It was Full of...

  • Twilight Zone Tuesdays: I Just Want To Be Santa

  • Halloween Resurrection Brings Hip Hop To Horror

  • Twilight Zone Tuesdays: The Silence Bewilders Gamb...

  • May Is For Slashers
  • Sunday, May 27, 2012

    The First Movie To Scare Me in a Long Time: S&Man

    If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that most movies don’t scare me anymore. In fact, it’s hard to find a movie that makes me cringe, or think that there’s something sinister about life in general. Well, I have finally found such a movie, and it is a documentary/mockumentary entitled S&Man. The movie is pronounced Sandman, and the director is J.T. Petty. I admit, I didn't expect a whole lot from this movie, as I never really expect a whole lot from straight to dvd looking movies, nor anything that I can get on netflix streaming that I haven't already heard of. But, today, I was bored, and finally finished a semester of grad school, so I decided to try my luck at something new, something sinister, something that wasn't necessarily in the mainstream, and here it is, a nifty documentary of sorts, and something that interests me greatly. For those of you that work from home, you know what the urges to watch others might feel like, especially if you're as fascinated by people, then this movie sheds light on something even further...and that's where things take a nasty turn.On the surface this movie is just a fascinating look into voyeurism and underground filmmaking. The underground movies are quite interesting, and they are true to life. There are real people making low budget, near snuff films that they sell at a variety of trade shows and beyond. The films that the movie refers to are worst than those that are put out by Troma and others. Although, if you ever saw “THE TAINT” then you know what bad can be made in terms of gore and sickness.

    This film is straightforward documentary style and is not at all scary. Until the crew run into a very real looking voyeur that tracks women and kills them on film. The movies that he produces are sinister, and they are true to life stalker footage films with pseudo death at the end of each episode. The character played by a real actor really gets into your head, and by act 3 you’re starting to believe that there are stalkers out there that do this and trade tapes on a regular basis.

    It’s sick. Then you realize that you’re not watching something real, and that’s when you start to examine why you watch horror to begin with, and what your limits are as a voyeur into the inappropriate world of scary film. I for one don’t have a limit, and have seen the worst of the worst, but this film made me think that there is something even more terrible. S&Man is a very fascinating film, it is truly terrifying when you start to realize that this really is a true to life subculture, even if the film doesn’t fit into only one genre. I recommend this film, it scared me in many ways, especially because of the opening statements by the director about his neighbor, the voyeur….next time you see a camera, you’ll start to think of the characters in this film, and what might be…and what isn’t really there.

    Saturday, May 26, 2012

    A Pseudo Snuff Film Turns Boring – Behind the Mask Rise of Leslie Vernon

    I’ve always been a guy that would watch anything, and today my patience was definitely pushed to the limits. The film I took a chance on was none other than Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. The movie seemed like a straightforward slasher flick with a twist, but as the whole story unfolded, I realized that things aren’t always good, and I wanted to punch myself several times.

    The movie’s plot is simple, a mockumentary. The mockumentary follows a would be serial killer and as it progresses, it turns into a pseudo snuff film, where we see a lot of insider jokes, tongue and cheek humor and an attempt to cash in on the self aware horror movie genre. The movie really has moments that shine, but they are few and far between.

    For those that are looking to fit all the horror clichés into one film, this movie sure does it well. The movie pushes the boundaries of what you remember from the 1980s and pushes into the psyche visuals that are familiar. The plot points are interesting as it unfolds, and I was interested at first, but as the movie turned into a pov style horror fest, with minimal blood splatters and lots of shaking camera angles, I was out. I can’t deal with that.

    Now, before I completely trash this film, I have to admit that I liked Robert Englund’s part, as he was quite cool in this one, even though he wouldn’t make it through the entire film. I found that there were moments where I just wanted to quit watching, but couldn’t, I wanted to see how it turned out! So in that regard, this film works, it hooked me with the initial mockumentary, then the snuff film aspect kind of seemed interesting, and I just wanted to see how it all turned out.

    This film is not for everyone, it mixes a lot of genres and then kind of sputters out of control into a horror filled coma. There are some saving graces, but I found the film boring. I liked the premise; I liked the execution after some time, but feel that it just fell flat. Something’s missing, but I don’t know what. I don’t recommend Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, as it is not a great one, and that’s that.

    Friday, May 18, 2012

    Return To Horror High or Return of Bad Slasher Comedy

    In the late 1980’s a lot of horror movies were being rushed into production because of the box office success of many of the early slasher films that were getting much publicity. Much like action movies of the era, the studios wanted to continually pump out horror style options in between major studio productions in the genre so that teens were continually fed a slew of horror. The problem was that these films were terrible, and mostly rendered little to no box office success. Then the internet came out in the 90’s and more people started their quest to watch these older movies. Such is the case for Return To Horror High.

    I first saw this film as a child, and it was ok. There are a lot of inside jokes, self-aware jokes, and lots of sexual humor that I didn’t get the first time I saw it. It took me a few years before I realized that there was a lot of cliché in this film. The characters are all either parodies of 1980s high school cinema or horror cliché. Either way, the characters are forgettable, laughable, and just tired.

    The movie centers around a killer that is targeting people at a small high school, where there just happens to be a movie being filmed at the same time, years before Scream ever did the same. As the production continues, the real body count mirrors the one being filmed. The story continues and while there are a few boring sequences, some gratuitous nude scenarios, and lots of blood, the film falls flat, and is kind of boring.

    Die-hard fans of horror comedy as well as George Clooney junkies will appreciate this one. Even though Clooney is not a prominent part of the film, there is still an aura about it, that makes you keep watching until the end. This is a great example of how the genre can be done terribly, as it is not a great film in any sense of the word. There are so many bad points, that you’ll just want to go back to sleep. I know I did.

    I do not recommend Return To Horror High unless you’re purchasing a massive collection of horror movies, or you’re an absolute fanatic about George Clooney. To be fair, there are a few moments where you break the fourth wall and you see how a film is made. You also get a lot of “rhetoric” and jabs at the time period. You’ll have to really pay attention to get it, because it’s mixed up in sleeze.

    Thursday, May 17, 2012

    5 Slashers Worth Buying Right Now

    This month has been a slow month for the site, mainly because I work full time, have a second job, go to graduate school, have a girlfriend, a crazy cat, and just don’t have enough hours in the day to write as much as I want to. Oh and I also write a personal blog, a news site, and a professional wrestling website, all in all a busy schedule of random crap. Well, here I sit down and discuss 5 movies that are in the Slasher genre that you have to buy today. These are my personal favorites, although you might have a set of 5 that you want to buy, but whatever you do, check these out and patronize my sponsors to help me get ahead for a change.

    5 Slashers worth buying:


    5. Tenebre – An author is haunted by someone that is committing murders much like the book he has written called “Tenebre”, and no one can seem to pinpoint what is going on. In the final sequences we get a twist that is worthy of getting the number 5 spot here. The film takes a long time to set up, but once it gets into full gear, the red blood spills and the movie shifts into an Argento masterpiece. You’re bound to love it, if you’re a fan of Dario Argento or even Bava for that matter.


    4. Sleepaway Camp 2 – The first film had a nice shocking ending, but this second film is nothing more than a straightforward slash fest. Bad campers get killed in some insane ways before our antihero Angela is caught in the headlights. The movie has every cliché you could ask for, including teenage sex, and well, slashings. The poster is awesome and reminds me of classic porno posters for some reason.


    3. Friday the 13th – Before Jason moved through a variety of different sequels to get revenge for his mother, his mom was terrorizing anything that moved. This classic is the first one of many movies that featured the “slasher” nametag and rightfully so, it’s good, dirty fun.


    2. Scream – Wes Craven rewrote the genre and made it self aware and exciting. Scream is still one of my favorite slashers and despite what anyone says or who spoofs it, it still holds up quite well. The action is brutal and the ending showcases a great start to what is one of the best horror quadrilogies ever made. From the first sequences to the end, you will see twists and turns and highlights all around.

    1.Nightmare on Elm Street – The movie that made everyone stay away for a long period of time is still one of the beset ever. If you haven’t picked up this film for your collection, then there’s something wrong with you. Freddy is a child molester that is getting back at the people that set him on fire, via their children’s dreams! Wes Craven ignites the genre with one of the most iconic characters of all time.

    There you have it folks, 5 slashers that you want to buy today! I know I’m going to get them, well as soon as I make some money; I’m broke at the moment.

    Wednesday, May 16, 2012

    I Know What You Did Last Summer and It was Full of Innuendo but no Boobs

    In 1997 a movie came out that was so scary, so violent, that no one saw it and it sits on a shelf somewhere ready to die a lonesome death. However, in the mainstream horror field, a film starring up and coming Hollywood stars was getting ready to takeover the summer and made insane amounts of money. The name of that film is the subject of this review, “I Know What You Did Last Summer”. My high school friends and I were really excited to see this one, even though we were young and idiotic, because somewhere around the rumor mill we were told that Jennifer Love Hewitt was going to show her boobs in this one. Of course, the film was marketed right for us, with her boobs on camera making a nice contrast to the killing that would become the highlight of the film.

    The plot of the movie was and is simple. The movie features a group of teenagers having fun and driving crazy through some back roads, and they run over a man on the road. They then dump the body in the ocean and promise to never ever speak of the situation again. Fast forward to a new point of interest and strange things are happening, alongside someone etching off each person that was at the event, dying at the hands of a fishhook. The fish hook killer goes one by one fighting off the teenagers and we are treated to death sequences that range from sinister to just idiotic.

    The film hits every slasher genre button, complete with idiotic decisions, the dumb jocks, the final girl, and more. The mystery surrounding whom the villain is works well with this film, and when the end comes through, we are treated with a shock ending that really makes you antsy for a sequel. Too bad the sequels are just dumb.

    For those that are looking to see Jennifer Love Hewitt’s breasts, too bad, they aren’t here. What about Sarah Michelle Gellar’s hot sexy body? Nope. Too bad, no dice. In fact, in this film you get little to no sexiness, just a lot of tease with Hewitt in some tight tops, but alas, no dice gentleman.

    I Know What You Did Last Summer is a standard slasher film. The best thing here though, for those that like the movie industry, is that for 17 million dollars invested, the gross take was hundreds of millions of dollars! That’s right, triple digit hundreds of millions in return! So you better believe sequels were in order.

    Tuesday, May 15, 2012

    Twilight Zone Tuesdays: I Just Want To Be Santa

    new santa
    We all see them, the drunks, the ones that can barely function in society, and for some reason clean up their act for a month to be the mall store Santa. This type of gig is only reserved for those that want to help others, but when entering the Twilight Zone, something magical happens, when you’re down and out.

    This episode from the second season of the series is called “The Night of the Meek” and we see a bum, for all intents and purposes trying to walk through the night and out of trouble. He is dirty, he is not welcome and when the sad clown goes down, he is met with Johnny Law. The man gets nearly thrown into jail, but in the course of his night, ends up becoming, the man in the suit.

    The episode is a nice welcome change to the series, where most twists end up being cruel and unusual to the protagonist. Not this time, the twilight zone really makes for quite the story and Serling ends it with a little warning for all of us children, that the meek are in fact great, and should be considered in these modern times of ours.

    This episode aired on December 23, 1960 and was written by Rod Serling. The actors were Art Carney, John fielder, Robert P. Lieb, Val Avery, Meg Wyllie, Kay Cousins, and Burt Mustin. The unusual story was filmed with a very different camera approach that proliferates the second season, but was later wiped out for later seasons. This is a classic tale for Christmas, one that sends a cool message for the down and out.

    Tuesday, May 8, 2012

    Halloween Resurrection Brings Hip Hop To Horror

    Ah yes, there’s something about selling out that just seems too good to be true at times. Halloween Resurrection, on the surface, looks like an incredible piece of filmmaking, right? I mean the poster campaign and many of the advertisements used to promote the film looked to have taken on a great role, then somehow the powers that be at the studio once again found a way to screw the slasher genre yet again, this time including Busta Rhymes in a place where you might not think he’d be, an antihero in a slasher that originally created the genre.

    The movie features a fast and quick plot. A reality show is being filmed and unsuspecting teenagers are going to have to contend with a real threat, but before we launch into that piece of the story, we are set up with a lot of different pieces. The first thing we get is a backstory in which we kill off the original scream queen, and assume that Michael Meyers goes to a grave with her as they plummet to their deaths. That of course is not the case, as Meyers is back at it, and he’s going to take out anyone that is in his way.

    The reality show is supposed to be streamed online and through various channels, all filmed in the original house where Meyers grew up. One by one we are treated to horror clichés, with dumb jocks, punishment for having sex, running upstairs instead of away and through a window, and just every other piece of stupidity that you get when you see a genre film like this one.

    The end is terrible, you’ll find yourself wondering why, and if the ending wasn’t bad enough you have to deal with Busta Rhymes throwing out classic one-liners. Oh wait, not so classic one-liners, if you ask me. The film plays fast, it’s not a slow moving movie at all and the bodies pile up over the course of the film. You’ll have to throw logic out the window, and just grab a Mountain Dew Code Red and some popcorn; otherwise you’re going to be heavily frustrated with the way it all plays out. Don’t think too much, this is a throwaway piece to the franchise. I would have much preferred to have Xzibit doing the funny stuff, but that’s just a personal preference. I don’t recommend Halloween Resurrection, but it was entertaining for 2002, so maybe it’s worth a watch or two.

    Monday, May 7, 2012

    Twilight Zone Tuesdays: The Silence Bewilders Gambler

    The Twilight Zone pushed a lot of boundaries in regards to horror and science fiction, and it was quite the showcase of twists and turns. In this episode in which the viewer gets sent into a dimension of not only sight and sound, but of mind. Rod Serling writes up a story that is based on an old short story by famed author Anton Chekhov, and we get to see quite the interesting drama of life and times.

    A supposed rich man is tired of hearing a loud mouth ramble on about things, so he proposes a sinister bet. He wants his foe to stay inside a glass cage for a year without saying one solitary thing. If he says something he will lose the bet and be forced into ridicule. If he doesn’t say a word he will gain $500,000 and be quite the maverick.

    What happens is quite good, and for a 30 minute episode, a great deal of interesting things happen. The gambler is stuck in a box and the rich man provokes him by hurling insults and lots of different things to break his walls down, knowing that the twist is held on his end.

    The twist really takes double turns as we find out that the rich man is broke and the loud mouth has altered his vocal box to stay silent chemically. The episode is one of great acting ability, featuring a great attention to slow and methodical pacing. It’s quite interesting to see it all play out, but it is not an episode filled with a lot of the same tactics that made other twists so compelling in the series.

    This season 2 episode aired in 1961, and starred four main actors. They were Franchot Tone, Liam Sullivan, Jonathan Harris, and Cyril Delevanti. This episode and far more are available now on blu Ray here, and this is one of the more low key episodes from the iconic series. I recommend it, I thought it was a classic drama.

    May Is For Slashers

    This month, I know I’m late, I have decided to run rogue throughout this site. I’m going to post as many reviews as I can in regards to the genre of Slashers.

    What is a slasher film? Well, it can stand for a great deal of different types of movies, but it’s mainly where there is one main villain and the body count is rising. The best example of the genre came in the 1980’s with “Friday the 13th”. People think that the first ever movie to have the ideal was “Black Christmas” but there are those that argue that the European market had slashers that went back to a different era.

    What movies are we going to cover? Anything I damn well please, and that’s that. I don’t have a list so every time you come back to the website, you’ll have something new. This of course is my plan, starting tomorrow. I’m going to have to say that this is the first of many things that I’m going to work on for this website.

    I will interrupt the “theme” every Tuesday (starting in a few moments) for “Twilight Zone” Tuesday, starting with a review of a classic episode from one of my personal favorite shows of all time.

    So, if you have ideas or want me to review your favorite slasher, send me a message and I’ll make sure to get it in this month of horror reviews.

    One last thing, PLEASE patronize my sponsors, and buy dvd’s etc. I need the money big time as I’m trying to move out of Los Angeles to Long Beach and am going to Grad school and I’m broke. Really broke. Thank you!