Monday, August 29, 2011

Hobo With A Shotgun Review


Finally, I sit down and watch something horror related and it was right on. Hobo With A Shotgun is a film that really is at its core an exploitation film in the realms of all the past movies that were aiming at taking down the genre. It’s not always polished, it’s not always amazing, but boy does it have all the revenge points that you’d expect.

The plot is simple, a Hobo has come to Hell City, USA and sees all sorts of injustice, so after he sees too much go down by the infamous “The Drake” and his gang, he decides to exact his own revenge, one shotgun shell at a time.

The movie moves fast, the pacing is great, the dialogue is ok, but the bloodshed is where this one will shine for horror movie fans. Rutger Hauer really does great here, and the villains are about as best you can get for a douchebag clan of idiots. The film dives into a lot of social aspects about modern society and more, but alas, it isn’t all the film is about.

If you liked Game of Death II, and how outlandish the last part of that film got, you’re going to be massively impressed with some of the things that happens in Hobo With a Shotgun. If you take into account a great deal of different points from all exploitation film, you’ll get this instant classic. From the opening sequencing to each and every revenge blast to the chest, there is a lot going on here.

Hobo With A Shotgun is a fun ride. It’s not too serious, it’s not going to win any awards, but wow, talk about doing exploitation nostalgia right. You’ll be missing out if you don’t watch this one.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Donations Now Accepted

I live in California now. I have been here since my wife and I got a divorce. I am currently a professional writer, and in no way rich or am "living" large in any way. I'm struggling much like the rest of the world. You may have noticed a few changes around here, despite my lack of reviews lately.

The first thing I've done is started to implement in line advertising again. If you see the bright green links, check them out, I'll get a cut. If not, leave them be.

The second thing I've implemented is advertising options for horror movies, exploitation film, and clothing. Check out those stores and help me get a few extra cents.

Lastly, I've stopped linking to Amazon. Amazon affiliates no longer lets anyone in California make money from displaying their ads so I don't have them.

At this point, I will continue to review horror, write random crap, and I just ask for a donation. If you have nothing to give, give nothing and enjoy the content. If you have extra, send it my way, and I'll be forever grateful.

If you have complaints, comments, or whatever email me sirjorge AT gmail dot com or leave a comment in the posts.

Support this blog by donating money for dvd's, netflix, and future web hosting.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Who Can Kill A Child Review

There are a lot of different taboos in film, and one of them is killing children on film. For whatever reason, horror films don’t like to cross that boundary, but leave it to the Spanish to break the rules. In this film also known as Island of the Damned, a couple of tourists embark on a nice vacation, only to find one of the scariest things possible, an island full of psychotic children. Who Can Kill a Child is an insane 70’s film.

The movie is directed by Narciso Ibanez Serrador and visually looks good. Despite the age, this film had a lot of lovely shots that will make some people want to leave the couch and take a vacation across distant lands, and all that jazz. I thought it was interesting, but only because the rest of the film seemed to lag until the climax, where things really get going.

The main plot revolves around a British couple and their vacation. They go on a trip to find a ghost town of sorts. The town seems so abandoned that the guests aren’t sure what to do until they see a small child. They follow the kid only to see him beating an old man. The old man is just the first victim we see as the film unfolds to reveal that the children that run the island kill everyone that is an adult, and they have set their eyes on our couple.

The film takes a lot of time developing the obvious. I was tired and falling asleep until I realized that things were going to unhinge. When the crap hit the fan, and our pregnant woman dies, her husband fights the kids and like I said, breaks the ultimate taboo, he takes an automatic gun and shoots the crap out of a slew of kids as he runs away. He then gets on a boat and like a kung fu fighter starts beating the crap out of kids left and right, making sure to leave no stone unturned as he beats the hell out of children. The kids outnumber him, and when police arrive they see things backwards and kill our hero.

Then the kids set their eyes on the police and steal their boats…the last scene could very well set up a sequel. Who Can Kill A Child is insane, if you gut the second part of the film you get 30 minutes of craziness with a great final sequence and ending. If you’re a fan of 1970’s exploitation film, this one is going to be right up your alley. It has everything but the gratuitous sex, so maybe it’s not that great for some. I liked it. I think this film is ripe for a remake, especially since kids getting beaten on screen needs a revival. Those damn kids! Hipsters especially.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Final Destination Review

final destination

With the fifth installment of this franchise out in theaters, I decided I would sit down and watch the original. When this film first came out, it sure did frighten a lot of people, and the rated R stance was good for the time. Even though the rest of the films started to exponentially suck, this one still packs a punch. Join me in looking at Final Destination, in this lackluster review of epic proportions.

Final Destination is a movie that seems quite easy to follow. It stars some talent from television and film including Devon Sawa, Kerr Smith, and even Stifler or rather Seann William Scott. The movie’s plot is simply cheating death, and how by cheating death, the force wants revenge and slowly takes the lives of those that were spared in tragedy, killing them in obscure and relatively elaborate fashion. The movie is well; rudimentary at this point, but still has some sick moments.

The gore is ok; there are a few points of just impactful sickness. Heads getting cut off, impalement, and other things really make for an interesting scenario of things. The opening sequence and visions really set up this film and the execution is classic, with the teens trying to figure out what’s going on and how to deal with the aspect of being chased by death.

The film is interesting at first, but lags in the second and third act. You start to get bored with the premise as the paranoia in each character sets in further and further only to produce horrific endings. The movie does in fact have a nice twist, but after so many years, repeated viewings, and sequels it just seems cumbersome to me.

I wouldn’t recommend Final Destination; it’s not that great. Sure it has an interesting premise for the year, and while there are some high quality gore sequences, the overall lack of villain outside of a “force” really gets me bothered. Sure, I’m willing to stretch a lot, but the idea of “death” having a list, just seems bland. I’d prefer having a real person with a list…heck I’d prefer Jack Frost’s list…ok, that’s a bit much, but eh, this one is still the best of the series, and that’s not saying a whole lot. The latest edition is in theaters, and I won’t see it…I’m broke again. It seems that it’s a recurring theme here at Scary Film, always broke, but eh, that’s ok. Final Destination is worth checking out if you haven’t seen it before, but it is not going to break any new ground for you. So there, I don't recommend it, but I do...I'm an idiot.

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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Cobra Review

I’m headed to Indiana for a week, but before I left you guys hanging, I wanted to update the site with a new review. This one will either be loved or hated…or both.

Everyone that watches a Stallone flick automatically assumes it’s an action film. 90% of the time it’s true, he’s quite the hero when he’s blowing things up. But what about his exploitation/slasher film? What? You never saw it? You mean you never saw the 1968 film called Cobra?! I know, many people think that this film is a straight up action film, but if you look closely, you see that this film is a slasher flick, that just happens to be a Stallone piece. Take the marketing campaign off the hands of Stallone and his badass cop attitude, and you get a slasher worth writing about.

Marion Cobretti is a rogue cop who is an amazing super cop nicknamed Cobra. He goes in when no one else will. The opening scenes of this film are quite harsh, with full shotgun blasts to people running in a grocery store. If that wasn’t hard enough, the rest of the film deals with a guy named the Night Slasher, who has one of the best looking blades in slasher movie history. He goes through the film killing off people left and right, and it’s pretty cool and gorey. If there was no Stallone mumbling around, this film would be titled the Night Slasher and would be far more awesome, but alas, it has its moments of stupidity.

Cobra takes on a whole motorcycle gang at one point, alone. The final boss battle though, now that’s something straight out of horror cliché. The two battle it out until someone is impaled by a large hook and thrown into an incinerator! Badass!

1986 was a good year for horror, but this film was marketed as an action film. I don’t blame the film studios; I would have done the same. Stallone was a hot commodity, and while he mumbles his way through a lot of these scenes, the slasher parts are a mix of Bava and Argento, something that really makes this film more than just a stupid actioner; it’s actually quite harder. If I were to classify this film, I’d say it’s an exploitation film, because it has every piece of what you would expect from a throwback piece where revenge is the name of the game and a slasher on the loose is getting away with….well….murder. Cobra will either have eyes rolling, or applause. I saw it again today, and boy, it’s harder than I remember. I suggest you check it out…trust me.

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Monday, August 8, 2011

Killer Granny Pledge

How would you like to finance a horror movie? What about being executive producer?

Well here is your shot at the glory. Killer Granny is a new film that is set to film and it needs funding. I'm broke, like seriously broke, or I'd be the main contributor. I cleared less than a minimum wage salary this past week, so I can't even donate a penny :( But you can, check out the trailer and the site here.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Black Cobra Review

black cobra

Well here I am, back again, your favorite Mexican with a pad and pen…or rather a laptop and some clove cigarettes. Sorry for the delay, I’ve been swamped with writing assignments and haven’t had much luck in the way of watching the latest and greatest in film. That’s all changing though, with the next couple of films in the can ready to update. Here is the first of two reviews that I recently got to throw up in. Join me today in the reviewing or whatever you’d like to call it of Black Cobra.

Black Cobra is a rip off of the 1980’s Stallone film “Cobra” and some might say that it’s far better. Fred Williamson plays a rogue cop that is hired to protect a young lady from a vicious motorcycle gang, and is caught up in some dangerous liaisons. As he moves forward with trying to protect her, the gang gets closer and closer, leaving him no choice but to start exacting a fierce revenge.

Williamson is ok; his acting is about the best you can get in this Blaxploitation film from the 1980’s. The plot moves forward fast, he fights hard, and has big guns amidst a gang who continually shoots him with automatic weaponry. By the time you get to the nitty gritty of the action, you realize that this film is over.

The gang is hilarious, it’s like a Vanilla Ice type of street gang from his film, and Fred Williamson is way too large of a character actor for the role he’s playing. He seems to be sly and nearly gets the white woman at one point, but it doesn’t matter. The movie is gets tiresome by act 2, and you really just want it to end. Pegged as a martial arts film, this is far from anything to do with kung fu or karate, unless you count Williamson’s punches and kicks.

The sound quality is low, the picture quality is even worse, but then again, this is Blaxploitation cinema at its best. While this is not a scary film, it does have some harsh fights and some sick pieces of violence that has to be mentioned. At one point a dude gets shot in the back in front of his girlfriend that is about to get raped, and in another scene Williamson battles his way through a parking lot of foes with one automatic hand gun and his guts.

Creating the Black Super Hero is hard for anyone, but in this film, I saw glimpses of all the archetype heroes from the 1980’s. While this film is not going to be a top 10, and it is not overtly horror, I found it should be reviewed here because it fits into the Blaxploitation and Exploitation era of film that I love and you scary film review fans love too. I don’t recommend repeated viewings of this one, but if you see it once, you’ll at least think it’s not half bad. I liked a few elements of it, I admit it, it is just not one of my favorites, that’s all.