Monday, January 31, 2011

End of the Month Death Toll January 2011

January has come and went and it's interesting to note, I have reviewed more this month than many other months in the past few years. I even gave you guys a triple feature over the weekend, subjecting myself to some horror film. I hated it, you hated it, or liked it, I never really know.


Before I give you a recap of links, I wanted to let you guys know a few things talk about somethings and just well, ramble. First and foremost, the ads are bother me personally. Over the weekend I spotted some ads on this site that I didn't like. I don't like the "russian brides" ad that keeps running. I also am not liking the ads that are being displayed that are just download links, I hate them.

Why have Ads? The reason that I have advertisements on my site is because I have no job, and I have to pay my student loans. I owe 40,000 dollars in student loans, and my degree hasn't really helped me in the city that I live in. In fact, it's been 17 months or so that I haven't had a job nor any income other than the ads that I get paid for on this website.

Yes, I know, I'm selling out for cheap, but what should I do? Let's talk about how much money I make from scary film review.

This month I've made $5. Thank you for that one person that bought DVD's with the links. I DO NOT REVIEW horror for the money, let's get that straight. I started this site when I had a good job and didn't need money so I never had ads in the way I have now, because I didn't need the money. Now I need the money so there's ads and more links.

What should I Do going forward? Should I stop? Do you readers care? Seriously, do you actually care? Should I stop? Does it get in the way? PLEASE LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS

Comments. For any ladies out there that can't stand commenting, I'm sorry. For all you dudes that don't comment because I don't know, don't comment, COMMENT DAMN IT! Ok, i'm sorry, i just get lonely in the horror world.

You can also send me emails, dirty and non dirty, recommendations, anything at sirjorge at gmail dot com. I really would like to make any of you readers friends, and I am on aol instant messenger so send me your aim name and we can chat, nothing crazy, but I have time on my hands, and watch more horror than I can shake a stick at.


I don't know what I need to do to get your attention, but I've posted 500+ reviews and get NO love from the horror community. I can't get guest bloggers in, I can't get comments, I can't get screeners, I can't seem to do anything right in the eyes of the horror fans out there. I leave comments on horror blogs and NOTHING! No Love. Is the whole internet world of horror that miopic? Am I the most hated man in horror blogging?

Maybe I just am not as good as I think. I swear, I never said i was anything, so how can anyone expect me to be?

February Preview

I thought about doing a Black Horror Month since it is Black History month and I love Blaxploitation and Urban Horror. But I don't know if I could get enough of those movies to fill a full month. I'll be reviewing Children of The Corn for sure, and that's about it. I don't really have a map for next month. If you have any ideas, please let me know, please send me comments, suggestions, and let me try to review some films.

Alright, here are the movies I reviewed through January 2011:

Best Worst Movie Review
Tales From The Hood Review
Def By Temptation Review
Howling III: The Marsupials Review
Bear Review
Night of the Creeps Review
Weekend Double Feature Next Week
Jason Goes To Hell Comic Books
Witchfinder General Review
Night of the Demons 2009 Review
The Lost Boys 3: The Thirst Review
Misery Review
The Twilight Zone Season 2 Review
Friday The 13th 4: The Final Chapter Review
Total Recall Review
The Book of Eli Review
Top 5 Horror Television Shows

If you missed any reviews, you can check out the FULL LIST of REVIEWS HERE.

Top 10 Horror Movies of January 2011

Here are the top 10 horror movies that sold according to Amazon, for the month of January 2011. This is something I started in the close of 2010, and wanted to help promote the current sales. I found that there were some great stuff in the top 20 and top 30, but here are the ones that are top sellers in the top 10, with links for you to use. Remember this list is NOT my own it's based on amazon's bestsellers list:

The Top 10 Horror Movies January 2011 Edition:

let me in blu ray

1. Let Me In [Blu-ray]

2. Let Me In

3. Monsters Special Edition + Digital Copy [Blu-ray]

4. The Walking Dead: Season One [Blu-ray]

true blood

5. True Blood: The Complete Second Season (HBO Series)

6. I Spit on Your Grave

7. I Spit on Your Grave [Blu-ray]

8. The Vampire Diaries: The Complete First Season

9. The Walking Dead: Season One


10. Supernatural: The Complete Fifth Season

Support this blog by visiting the Scary Film Web Store here.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Best Worst Movie Review

best worst movie

The movie Best Worst Movie is a documentary about the cult following of Troll 2. The film is an interesting piece of work in terms of subculture and sociological studies. At first, I was definitely interested to see this film, as it was one of the most talked about things from yesteryear. I want to start first, is that I've seen Troll 2, but am not a fanatic.

The documentary flows from interviews with those that made the film including some of the stars. Then it goes into talking to people that love the film, and continues through a full length documentary.

It's hard for me to review a documentary, but I will say this much. I hated a lot of the opinions expressed. The people that talked about how great they thought Troll 2 was, seemed to have stopped with just that film, and that's where I have a problem. I've posted more than 500 reviews on this blog, and I've continually sought after film of all types, (within horror and scifi) and have found some terrible films, none of which are better than Troll 2. Seriously, there's a TON OF BAD movies that resonate with me far better than Troll. What about Bud The Chud? What about Ghoulies?

Yes, I know that people aren't throwing parties, or anything like that. BUT then again, maybe these stories and people so dedicated to it, found out that there was a documentary in the works and ran out to try and be in it, and there is no real genuine love for it! I can see how that can work out.

Best Worst Movie gave me a headache, I'm sorry. I am all for fandom, but I don't care about Troll 2 enough to care about a documentary about the film. It's not that I don't understand, it's just that I've seen worst get more praise. Heck, I saw a sold out screening of "OVER THE TOP", now where is my documentary about the Over the Top parties I've thrown in the past?


I didn't hate this movie, but I didn't like it either. I'm not saying I'm a great writer or a reviewer, but I will say this much, many of the interviews in this film seemed so bad...and Troll 2 is NOT worth it.

The irony here is that there are so many "diehard fans" and yet when the director shows up to a screening, NO ONE KNOWS WHO HE IS!!!! WHAT A LOAD OF...nevermind...Bollocks...that's what I'll say.

Tales From The Hood Review

tales from the hood

Here we go, movie #2 in this weekend's double feature on Scary Film Review, and it's a great one. After many weeks of terrible movies, I finally sat down and watched something good. This movie is a 1995 anthology horror for the Urban sect, and they did it right, and it's quite good and scary. The film of course, is none other than the mainstream release, Tales From The Hood.

This movie is an "urban" horror film with a great deal of great pieces. Anthology horror is always something I like, and this one is better than most, although it is not without its problems. The film was produced by Spike Lee and directed by Rusty Cundieff and is high quality both visually and in theme.

The film starts with a group of thugs looking to score some drugs,but instead they enter a funeral home and talk to a man that likes to tell stories of sheer terror, all involving the black community. The stories start with a police beating, and a return from the dead, then waves into one of the scariest things I've seen on film. The second story really was scary to me, as a young boy says that a monster is attacking him. After his teacher visits his home to talk about what's going on, he realizes that the monster is the boy's father and we are treated to one of the most taboo scenes in horror. The father, played by David Alan Grier, literally beats the crap out of his wife and kids, and the camera's do not flinch or edit it out. It eventually solves itself with the boy having special powers of voodoo, of sorts. But the sequences hit home with me, as I was beaten by my stepfather. I know, far too personal, I'm sorry. The third story is awesome with Corben Bernsen fighting off little black dolls, and boy does he act his way through it. I loved it. It reminded me of Night Gallery, as a painting had the dolls coming to life to attack a racist politician. The film continues and the overall plot gets solved and we get a nice ending.

The pacing of this film is fast, but not so fast that you don't get to have some emotional connection with the characters. You feel for the victims, and at times you're not quite sure who to cheer for, until Justice is served. The film has "justice" as a great theme throughout, and you really start cheering for the retribution, as the film gets better and better.

The editing, film quality, and story is all good. I was surprised to see how well this film holds up. I am also surprised at how gorey some of the stories were, and some of the points of interest were. Far better than many other anthology horrors, this film really packs a punch, and does a lot with a little. I loved how well produced and visually significant this film was. The soundtrack also went GOLD, so it obviously influenced a lot of people to become fans. Tales From The Hood is a film you don't want to miss, you're going to want to add it to your collection, it's that good. I loved it. You might love it, I don't know. It has something for everyone, except maybe "sex" and boobs.

tales from the hood

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Def By Temptation Review

def by temptation

Alright folks, the beginning of the weekend Double Feature here on Scary Film Review, and we start with an instant classic, much on par with the terrible horror films like Ax'Em. Def By Temptation is a film that came out in 1990 and most likely went straight to video, and you can tell this from the very moment you start the film. The movie was directed by a guy named James Bond III, and supposedly stars Samuel L Jackson, even though he's only in the movie for about 5 minutes, oh and the fact that this is a Troma Entertainment film!

The movie has an interesting premise. It's simply a vampire movie, although there are some moments where I thought the main villain was a werewolf, but that's ok. The movie stars out with a man in a bar, going home with an attractive lady, only to get slaughtered by her. Then we move to another plot point, two friends move in together, and they both find this woman that is killing off men. We get a lot of sex scenes, most of them ending with the death of a guy that was taken with her from the bar. When one friend ends up meeting this new woman, and the other friend recognizes her, and gets himself involved with a Cop that can take her down.

The movie's pacing is slow, and is carried by ridiculous dialogue. The first conversation in this film has a guy saying, "just get an abortion, drop the baby and come hang out, I'll pay for it", and he laughs, which is like a kick in the groin to wake up anyone that wasn't paying attention after the boring credits started. The rest of the movie is just bar scene after bar scene of men picking up the vampire, then getting killed, with lots of cut scenes of pools of blood, and random hairy hands reaching and scratching. At one point there was a "grim reaper" moving around, but that character was abandoned later on in the film. I kept watching because after the second act, the editing and film work gets 100 times better, and I'm not sure why. It really does turn a corner visually towards the end of the film, something that was really lacking in the first parts of the film.

Even though a great deal of plot involves sex, you don't really get a lot of nudity. You don't really get a lot of gore either. There are some interesting points that show some scary points, but they are mild in comparison to a great deal of other vampire films. In fact, you do get that sense of a "made for tv" movie or something awry, even though there are some harder sequences.

The movie starts to ramp up towards the end and the pace really speeds up with more and more visual effects turning out to be greater and greater. I really thought this film was going to just end abruptly, but it really speeds up to make sure the film gets the "horror" theme down, before reviewers like me start to say that it's tame. The r Rated is definitely achieved with the zombie bar room scene, which is a dream sequence, but has some great visual effects and NO camera tricks.

It's not a scary film, but there are some definite scary moments. Specifically in the last act when the main characters try to kill the vampire by giving her a "holy water" martini! I kid you not. They get scared, when she over powers them and then runs away scared, and a great line is heard, "There's a fuckin devil bitch chasing us man...let's get outta here", and the two tough guys run away like scared little kids. If you put yourself in their shoes, you'd get scared too. I was just thinking about what I would do if there were urban vampires after me, I think I'd be dead fast, cause I have no friends. Another great sequence happens towards the end and it is is just awesome! A dude gets sucked into the television and then blood spills out...and a silhouette is seen, creating one of the most intricate pieces ot an otherwise straight forward vampire film at times...oh and of course, Samuel L. Jackson is scary as a ghost...oh man, the movie got better and better.

In regards to Black Horror Films, this one is better than many that I've seen. It's not a mainstream film, but Troma did a good job with trying to make a unique tale of vampirism, in the Black community. The budget looks like it wasn't very high, but there is some great moments in an otherwise dismissible film. I don't think this one is an amazing film, but I'll say this much, Def By Temptation is better than 90% of mainstream horror films that came out in 2010. Check it out, it's an entertaining piece of Black Cinema, and something that would fit in nicely in the Blaxploitation era of films.

def by temptation

Friday, January 28, 2011

Howling III: The Marsupials Review

howling 3 poster

The Howling is one of my favorite films and to see the series get a third release was something of great interest for me, but I hadn't sat down and watched it for a long time. Since I have time on my hands, I decided to check out this Australian sequel to the werewolf lore, and was surprised to see that Ozploitation really manage to take the elements of the series and really poke holes into it, and bleed it out into an entertaining piece of horror.

The first thing you need to know is that this is not part of the original films. Yes, it is called The Howling but it's only because the name was purchased and this film has nothing to do with the books of the same name. Yes, there are some interesting views that are similar to the novels, but the third book in the Howling series is nothing like this movie, in terms of plot. The director of this film also did Howling II, but this is NOT part of the original ore, and it's interesting to see that the rating on this film is pg-13, and really is tame in a lot of ways. Much like Halloween 3: Season of the Witch is it's only stand alone film, this one stands apart in the series.

If you like a ton of subplots, you're going to get it here. There is a lot of things going on. This is not your average "centralized" plotted horror movie, and the viewer really has to pay attention to catch everything. There is a main plot, and it involves a professor that is working on werewolves and culture, tied together in a strange cult. A woman is found on a park bench and is placed in a film and she starts to attract attention after being hit by a car. There's a film within a film as we are treated to a mockery of the genre, when the newly found woman turns out to be, a werewolf!

There is a lot of tongue and cheek humor found in this film, and it's not really scary. There are some of the most ridiculous and cheese ball effects utilized to make this film fit into the previous films scope. The original films had a sort of traditional werewolf lore, while this one tries to inject science, religion, and breeding into the mix. The whole premise of a scientist experimenting on werewolves makes the film seem odd. The movie is notorious for making werewolves become anti-hero's here, and some might even try to shoehorn political movements, religious condemnation, and race relations as being the catalyst for the film's message. I felt as though the film was trying to make me feel bad for the werewolf, and that's where I just started to hate the film. The wolf is NOT supposed to be loved, or is it? My favorite parts of the film have to be the Alien Baby sequence and the terrible "movie within a movie within a movie" subplot, which was brief, but hilarious.

The funny elements of this film make for a more comedic movie rather than a true horror film. I am ok with comedy horror films, but I felt cheated with this one. I really felt as though I was going to get something along the lines of the original, or even the sequel, but instead this just seemed to lack gusto. I liked it, it's entertaining, but it's not scary at all, and really is a major departure from the previous entries. The parody elements go a bit too far at times, and I just miss more serious toned werewolf films. Check out Howling III: The Marsupials if you're a fan of the series, otherwise, you're not missing a whole lot. You'll laugh more often than not, so don't think this is going to be a great one to turn the lights out and scare yourself with, because it won't even be remotely scary. Unless you're scared of Australian made B-film. Hey, at least it's not British right? Just sayin.

howling 3

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Bear Review


One of the things that I loved about the old video stores (usually owned by a Korean couple) was that I could easily be fooled by the cover art of a vhs tape. If there was gore on the back, or a hot chick on the front, I was in. If the box was over sized and resembled a porno, I also was in. Fast forward to modern times, and I'm not usually fooled simply by box art, because I used to have a job where I made the dvd sleeves for many a movie. Despite all my talent, I never got paid well, and now look at me, I'm broke and have no job! That's all beside the point because here we are, another tale of me, getting screwed over by the modernity of awesome box covers and terrible movies inside, only back in the day, people actually tried to make their movies good, now they just want the box cover and dvd menus to look good, and for this film, it can't be truer> i will try my hardest to write a few things about the film, BEAR.

First and foremost let me say this much, there is no nudity, there is no gore, and the bear rarely interacts with the humans. The film completely relies on the old trick of cutaways and assumed scariness, as well as what I believe is a guy in a bear suit. The plot of the film revolves around a mini van full of idiots trying to go somewhere, but stuck in the woods and guess what? They are attacked by a bear! The bear starts to try and get to them, and well, eventually gets to maul someone and it's not even shown, because it's all fake, which is fine by me, but they edited the movie to cutaway and look so unrealistic, that it was stupid.

Secondly, THIS IS NOT ANYTHING LIKE GRIZZLY! If you're a fan of the classic b-movie or ANY b-movie for that matter this is NOT the movie for you. It really made me punch my skull a few times because I felt stupid for watching this.

Lastly, when this film finally finishes off you feel like you've just wasted your time, and that's the worst part about watching horror movies for me. I'll give credit where credit is due, this movie was made, someone actually spent time working on a film and created one. That's more than I can say about myself, and that's more than most critics can say. That doesn't excuse a bad movie, but I'll say that it is a movie, and well that's gotta be given some credit. So If I was giving star ratings, I'd give 1 star for at least trying to make something. I know, this might not be as bad some British horror films, but seriously, sit down and watch this, just do it, and then tell me it's not the worst you've seen in a long time. I'd figure with the new digital era, we'd get some solid b-movie or indie film for horror...and it just never works. Bear has a cool color, great menu design, and TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE execution, and that's not a pun!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Night of the Creeps Review

night of the creeps

There aren't a lot of movies that came out in the 1980's that have the production value necessary to live up to some of the more modern films, but this one, really blew me away in a variety of ways. Night of the Creeps not only presented zombies, it presented aliens, visual stimulation, and a plot that didn't need complication. I was completely impressed with how good this film was, and scratched my head in regards to how lousy some of the recent films miss the mark, compared to this one.

The plot is one of alien invasion, that you might recognize if you're a fan of The Faculty. It seems like similar plots make new movies? We are introduced to two college kids and they try to get in good with a fraternity in college, and that sparks the problem, a cryogenically frozen being is let loose, and aliens (slugs) start roaming the earth, infiltrating victims and turning them into the living dead! The films stars Jill Whitlow, Tom Atkins, and Jason Lively. The director, Fred Dekker did a great job in this one, and it really feels like a newer film not an older one. After you get an introduction to the plot, it's all about the college kids and the standard "out of place" story line. You know what I'm talking about, the outcasts are trying to get in good with the popular kids, but they can't, and they set zombies loose.

Visually, this movie is great. I love how they didn't have CG back then, and utilized imagination and special make up effects to create the gore. The blood, the skulls, and so much more is done quite well and I loved it. Eaten away skulls, face damage, intestines, bodily explosions, gun shots to the head, so many finer touches here are utilized with relative ease and NOT computer animated like the cheap tricks of today. I couldn't believe how clear the picture quality was, and how easy the editing took you from scene to scene without feeling out of place. The pacing was done well too, and I loved how I never felt bored nor tired of the plot, even if it wasn't gore center for the full length of the film.

The film has some great homages to B-Movie and Cult movie history. From the Corman University name to many of the characters getting homage to the famed sci-fi directors like Romero, Cronenberg, Hooper and others, there are a lot of cool little Easter eggs of sorts found throughout the film.

Night of the Creeps might be an 80's movie, but man, it has all the greatness of a modern day horror piece. It flows fast, it has gore, it teases sexuality with shower scenes, and the ending (albeit an alternate) is great. You can't miss this one, it's probably one of the best 80's horror b-movies I've seen in a long time, and that's saying a lot. If you haven't seen Night of the Creeps, you're missing out, this one is a classic.

night of the creeps blu ray

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Weekend Double Feature Next Week

double feature

The weekend got away from me this time, and couldn't update the blog with a review of Night of the Creeps, but it will go up tomorrow sometime. This weekend flew by, and when you don't have a job, you find other things to do. I read the whole Adam Carolla book (hilarious), watched the NFL playoffs, watched some horror movies (but didn't review them), and ate one of the best hamburgers I've ever had in this piece of trash city I live in. I hate this town.

I also drank a Pub Ale from the UK, and it was mighty good. I already forgot the name but it comes in a yellow can, and I loved it.

If you're looking to write reviews on this site, I'm opening up the doors to ideas of allowing a guest post or two. I'm also tinkering with the idea of doing a "movie club" in which we all watch the same movie and review it on our respective sites, and I post a link, and we all have fun. I'm also trying to figure out how to podcast, because I can talk and well...I've seen far more movies than I've reviewed on this site, and I can BS with the best of them. If no one comes forward, that's fine, I have plenty of time on my hands to write and review filth.

Next week! Yes next weekend I will be doing a major double feature for this site, a rarity indeed. I will be posting both on Saturday and Sunday, full reviews of 2 films that I haven't decided on yet. If you have a suggestion, by all means drop me a comment or an email and I will take it into consideration. Otherwise, It's going to be Russian roulette with the horror movies I have or don't have at my disposal. As for this weekend, I'm sorry. But next weekend, you'll want to stick around, because I will be watching horror, eating popcorn, and falling asleep on my couch.

Like I said, I have no job, and I haven't made much from this site. If you are going to shop online for horror dvd's visit the following link and help me keep the dream alive: the Scary Film Web Store here. Thank you, and goodnight.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Jason Goes To Hell Comic Books

Last night, instead of watching a movie to review, I read the three issues of Jason Goes to Hell by Topps. I wanted to share the interior with you, but I didn't want to go overboard, or the site wouldn't load, cause 3 issues of comics is quite a large upload. So here is the first few pages from the comic book adaptation of Friday the 13th: Jason Goes To Hell. I'll have a review up this weekend, sometime, but for the meantime, check out these scans, click the images to get larger views:

Jason Goes To Hell Comic Books

Jason Goes To Hell Comic Books2

Jason Goes To Hell Comic Books3

Jason Goes To Hell Comic Books4

Jason Goes To Hell Comic Books5

Jason Goes To Hell Comic Books6

Jason Goes To Hell Comic Books7

Jason Goes To Hell Comic Books8

If you're interested in picking up this comic book series, you can find them for cheap online below:

Jason Goes To Hell #1 - 3 Click here

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Witchfinder General Review

witchfinder general

It was bound to happen, I finally ran into something produced by the British Film Industry. Well, to be fair this was a joint venture between British Film Productions and American International Pictures so it's not necessarily all Britain's fault. Witchfinder General was made in 1968 and starred none other than Vincent Price. This low budget film doesn't look as low budget as some of the movies that you see going straight to dvd these days.

The plot of this film follows a witch hunter in the middle of 1645 trying to hunt down evil doers and those that are demon possessed. What we end up seeing is how the hunt turns frightening when the obsessed hunter starts to kill people that are not witches at all!

There isn't a whole lot of gore in this film, but you get about as much as you could expect for the era that this film is made. You get some nice fight sequences, which I enjoyed. Aside from the final sequences and death of the hunter, this film is a slow moving ride with not a whole lot going on in terms of horror. There are a few moments to break up the monotony, but overall this is a dry dialogue driven horror film.

For those looking for some gratuitous nudity in film, you get some here, although it is very very tame. The R rating is definitely deserved as you see 1960's female nudity, which trumps anything new that I've seen in recent years.

Visually the film looks like a medieval epic, and I liked it for that. I liked the way the film seems to be dated and higher budget than it really had, and the editing brings everything together nicely.

Is it a scary film? Not really. It's kind of mild, and nothing harder than you might see on a Goosebumps show from the late 90's. I was falling asleep at one point in the film, but I woke myself up and suffered through. I can't say that this is a great film, but Vincent Price did make me laugh a few times, despite his serious tone. This film, for what it is, is ok, but I wouldn't recommend it unless you're absolutely a huge Vincent Price fan or a fan of collecting classic horror films. I love the movie posters for the film, more than the actual release. It's not the worst film I've ever seen, but it's far from the best.

It's interesting to note that the director was made into a villain upon the release of this film. There are some torture scenes that are mild in today's standards but in 1968? It was enough to get film critics to nearly ban the film. While the United States let the full film play, the UK got a censored version. Some have called this one a cult classic since the director died from drugs at the age of 25. Many have come out to say that this is one of the greatest horror films of all time, but those are some real idiots...or maybe they're just glorifying something that they haven't seen in a while.

witchfinder general

Monday, January 17, 2011

Night of the Demons 2009 Review

night of the demons 2009

The 1988 horror classic Night of The Demons broke some of the stereotypes in horror. The most notable being that the "black guy" dies first. In that horror film, the black guy lives and saves the white girl from disaster. I love the ending of that film, with what looks like Michael Jackson and Alice in Wonderland, making it out of one crazy night. This is NOT like the 1988 film, and boy do they beat you over the head with the fact. It's probably one of the worst remakes I've seen in a long time, and believe me I've seen some bad movies. Night of the Demons was supposed to get a theatrical release, but instead got a straight to dvd treatment, because it sucked so bad. Shannon Elizabeth and Edward Furlong round out a cast of lazy actors and really make for one of the worst performances I've seen in while.

The plot of this movie is similar to the first, with a new twist. A group of idiots front he 1920's were possessed by demons and now they need new bodies, so a party is thrown and well...they all become possessed and turned into what appears to be vampires and zombies.

The only cool thing about this film is the gratuitous nudity. That's right, lots of boobs, lots of sex, and even "zombie" sex at one point, make this film visually compelling for heterosexual males. Outside of the spank bank material, there are some great gore scenes, and sequences that will have you enjoying the film, albeit quickly edited.

When the film finally sets up the main premise, you're so tired, that you end up wanting to take a nap. There are some recycled scenes from the original, but you get NONE of the impact, and it just becomes a parody of the original, instead of a true reboot. I hated, for instance, the scene where a lipstick is pushed through the nipple of a breast. The original made that sequence creepy and great, but here, it's just a "comedy" which makes me hate this film that much more.

What happened to Shannon Elizabeth? She went from a hot chick in American Pie to a wannabe goth in this film. Oh and for those hoping to get a peak of her naked again, too bad, it's not happening here. Edward Furlong looks like a bloated, fat, shell of his former self. He phones it in, yet again.

The final sequence is horrendous. This movie sucks. It's not scary, it wasn't even watchable, and really made me want to watch the original. The "demonized" idiots are more vampire like than anything else, and yet they eat people like zombies, which forces me to once again question why anyone would remake 80's slasher films. If you want to see Night of the Demons from 2009, go for it, but it's not a good one, it's NOT recommended at all. I'd rather see the original.

night of the demons

Friday, January 14, 2011

The Lost Boys 3: The Thirst Review

the thirst

Ah yes, a third film in the series of The Lost Boys. I really liked the original, but the second film sucked, and the third one didn't really strike mas something I wanted to watch, until now. I finally sat down and watched Lost Boys: The Thirst and I was write on a few levels, and wrong on another.

First and foremost this film is an interesting take on the series. Right off the bat we get some flashbacks to the original film. We catch up with Edgar Frog and he's not exactly doing so hot. He's living in a trailer home and it's about to get foreclosed on. He is approached by some random hot chick, requesting that he help her save her brother from turning into a vampire at a rave. When he agrees, all hell breaks loose as he tries to gain weapons and help to fight the oncoming vampire party (rave). Of course, we get to see a battle of the ages, and we are treated to gore, violence, and lots of "deep voice" Corey Feldman.

The film's plot sucks. It's very light, but where the plot is light in plot, it makes up for in gore and gratuitous shots of women's boobs. I know for a fact there are some fans of the series that will praise the nudity rather than any other merit of this film. I will at least make mention of it.

The look and feel of this movie is a tad higher than the previous film. The film doesn't look completely like a made for dvd movie and has some serious cinematography, at least at the beginning of the film. There is even some nice shots taken from an aerial view, and something that has to be a plus to an otherwise crappy visual film. Aside from the higher quality film making, there is a decent soundtrack that not only makes use of the classic "Cry Little Sister" but throws around some techno, punk rock, and even screamo nicely.

There are a lot of things I didn't like about the film, especially the over use of "slow down" and "slow motion" that plagues a lot of mainstream action films. There are many instances where the action is slowed down and sped up, as if I wouldn't be able to see it the first time in full motion. There are also some bad CG effects that just don't need to be there. When Frog kills some vampires they burst into blood vapor rather than bleeding out into the scene. That has to be the worst of it, and really makes this film look low budget.

The stunt work impressed me. I wasn't expecting the amount of stunts that were in this film, and I was further impressed with the martial arts action at some stages of the film. It's not the greatest, but when you consider the star of this movie, you'll at least understand why I would be impressed.

One thing that really made me hate the film was the constant "flash backs" to the original film, and consistently using Corey Haim. I felt it was just not needed, and the character could've drummed up more sympathy by simply mentioning him and showing the scene where Frog drops of a Batman #14 at the grave site. For those of you not following Haim's career or life, he died in there won't a Weekend at Bernies 3 after all. (what? too soon?)

The movie is fast paced, has some nice one liners, and good overall action towards the end of the film. Fans of the series will most likely appreciate this one, as it is far better than the second sequel was. I didn't completely hate this one, I liked the gore, I liked Corey Feldman's deep voice, even if it seemed force, and I did enjoy the premise, albeit thin. I even appreciated the ending, where we are teased that there will be fourth film that will have Frog fighting not vampires, but Werewolves! Lost Boys: The Thirst is not amazing, but it's actually half-way decent, and I'd watch it again.

lost boys 3

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Misery Review


The master of horror, Stephen King, created an interesting view of his own nightmares in a book called Misery. That book would become an instant classic when Rob Reiner took the helm to direct one scary woman, Kathy Bates. The film has not only scared millions of audiences, it has become one of the most recognizable pieces of horror for anyone that aspires to be a professional writer.

Misery's plot is very simple on the surface. A writer crashes amidst a snow storm and looks to be on his way to kicking the bucket, but is rescued by a woman that claims she is his biggest fan. The woman takes the author to her cabin, and unravels hell on earth for the writer, and wow, does it get worse before it gets better.

There are a lot of scary moments in this film, and it's not what everyone thinks. The best part of the movie is the pacing. The pace is deliberate, and for some a bit tedious, but right when you're ready to stop the movie, something bad happens, and every few minutes the level of fear gets higher, and louder and eventually all hell breaks loose. This film really feels like a play, that is until Annie (the antagonist) breaks Paul's ankles with a sledge hammer. Sadly, it's what most people remember.

Desperation, that's what I remember most about this film. There is a great deal of desperation expressed by the trapped author, as he can't go anywhere. Most people would say that he should've just pulled out his cell phone or gotten to a phone in general, but that's not possible when you're not living in 2011, you're int he late 80's or early 90's. Yes, you have to place yourself in an era where communication is not very easy, and your life could end in a car crash somewhere. I'm not sure what is sadder, the fact that most people that will see this movie can't recall a time when they weren't online 24 hours a day, or available via cell phone all the time, or even in communication with the rest of the world at all hours, or that this movie won't scare most audiences in 2011. The desperation found in this film by James Caan is classic, and a testament to how good his performance was in this film.

There's no gore, no sex, and no major sickness in this movie. The majority of this film's scary points all focus on psychological terror and the pain and desperation of being isolated, alone and without contact to the outside world.

When I first saw this movie, I didn't really like it. I was a kid and couldn't imagine how it could be scary. Then as an adult I read the book and rewatched the movie, and boy oh boy, it is scary notion to have a fan claim they love you, to the point of madness. There is a sure fire horror to this film that lasts through the facade of a three character act. You'll be hard pressed to find a better acted horror film, with such psychology in modern horror. The film works on a variety of levels and really is entertaining. You'll have to think a little more than usual to get the horror elements, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. If you haven't seen Misery, you're missing out, it's a high quality flick.

misery dvd

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Twilight Zone Season 2 Review


I've been fortunate enough to have time to sit and watch the whole Season 2 of The Twilight Zone. This classic Rod Serling television show is one of the best Science Fiction/Horror anthology show ever seen. I absolutely love it, and I wanted to review it for this site, episode by episode...well briefly.

So here is my review of the Twilight Zone Season 2:

King Nine Will Not Return - A World War II bomber jet is down, and in a desert, and we find a one man crew member alive and well. This dialogue heavy episode wasn't my favorite, but it was an interesting introduction to the season. I found it a bit tedious, but the idea that the crew has all mysteriously vanished eventually got the better of the main character, in the Twilight Zone.

The Man In The Bottle - A local business man finds himself in a heap of trouble when he finds a genie and starts wishing for things. The only downside, everything he asks for has an unwanted consequences. Much like the Monkey's Paw, this classic tale of being careful what you wish for, really packs a punch.

Nervous Man in a Four Dollar Room - This identity crisis feature is actually quite good, and I hate identity crisis crap. A gangster is plagued by his own reflection and while he is usually very timid, his reflection is hardcore and eventually is his ruin.

A Thing About Machines - This "robots are scary" themed episode was quite good. I liked the way it turned out with a writer going crazy because the robots are taking over.

The Howling Man - A traveler discovers that there is a group of religious fanatics that have captured the Devil himself. Not the greatest episode, but it had its charm in a few places.

The Eye of the Beholder - This is one of the more famous of stories from The Twilight Zone, it features a woman that has a surgery to look more like everyone else, but when the bandages are unraveled, she looks...the same! But everyone else, well, they look horrendous...or rather Normal. A great episode about being different and how scary it can be.

Nick of Time - A fortune telling machine with a little devil on top becomes the foil for a young married couple, and as the machine keeps predicting their future, they start putting in more money to see what will happen next. They eventually give up on the whole thing, but we see another couple return, addicted to the machine's uncanny way of telling the future! I loved the paradox and anxiety here.

The Lateness of the Hour - This was a weird episode, the camera switched gears and it seemed, well, odd. It seemed more like a stage play than a film, but I liked it none the less. A group of robot servants pamper some rich folk but one woman gets upset about it all only to realize that she too is a robot! Not the greatest episode, but a fine acting job by Inger Stevens.

The Trouble With Templeton - This time traveling episode was rather odd. I didn't really enjoy it that much, although it did have a few interesting moments and good overall acting. I didn't get it at first, but eventually realized it was a time travel episode.

A Most Unusual Camera - A couple of thieves find a camera that predicts the future. This one was classic, and I loved the turn around ending with lots of thrills and spills. This one reminded me of an old Goosebumps book with a similar premise. The camera is an old style one, and each picture brought about ruin, a great episode.

The Night of the Meek - A Drunk Santa Claus just wants one thing, to be forever giving away things, but when the Law accuses him of stealing, he becomes a super natural member of the Christmas spirit and forever will get his wish. This was a great one, with a great ending, better than most Christmas movies, and all done in less than a half hour.

Dust - Magic dust is sold to a family, hoping that it will help save their son, and guess what? Twists and turns occur and this one goes straight through the "Twilight Zone". Not a great episode, but then again, they aren't all winners.

Back There - A man travels back in time and tries to stop the Lincoln Assassination. I loved this one, and how hopeless time travelers are in regards to changing key events in history. There are ripple effects that I enjoyed, and it was a cool little look at how time travel can go wrong and right for some.

The Whole Truth - A lying car salesman screws a man out of a car and it's haunted! The car forces him to only tell the truth and he has a heck of a time trying to sell cars afterwards. Not a great episode, but a nice twist.

The Invaders - My favorite episode from season 2, it features a woman that is terrorized by Space Aliens. The Aliens are tiny, and the miniature design is so cool. She eventually gets the one up, but she realizes that the UFO is from the United States! The best one in this season, and something that I can see over and over, and yes, maybe we will find life on another planet, and they are huge! I loved this.

A Penny For Your Thoughts - A bank worker throws a coin into a bin, it lands straight up, and now he can read people's thoughts. He goes through his day in hell, then eventually finds himself with a new love and a new job. I liked how this episode turned out, but man, it looked grim for our main character.

Twenty Two - An actress is having recurring nightmares in a hospital, and then has a vision of disaster in the near future. When she goes nuts before an airplane takes off, she realizes that her nightmares were warnings from beyond. I liked this episode, and Barbara Nichols was hot...really hot.

The Odyssey of Flight 33 - This weird and creepy flight is another time travel episode, but it had a lot of cool little features. The flight keeps going back in time and the crew starts to panic, meanwhile the passengers look out the window, to find themselves in a variety of times past. I loved it.

Mr Dingle, The Strong - A traveling salesman receives super strength, and now he's got to figure out what to do with his new found power. I loved it.

Static - A radio plays programming that only he can hear, and he goes insane. Another good overall episode.

The Prime Mover - Two men discover that one of them has telekinetic powers, and now they must figure out what to do next. I liked this cool episode about the powers from beyond.

Long Distance Call - A little boy hears his grandma on a toy phone, and she's talking to him from beyond the grave, which is insane. I loved how this one turned out.

A Hundred Yards Over The Rim - Another time traveling episode which is insane. The leader of a wagon train ends up far into the future and of course, he's going insane.

The Rip Van Winkle Caper - Another time travel episode? Yes! A great look at how thieves can steal in suspension. I liked it a lot, but it reminded me a little of Time Cop or something along those lines.

The Silence - A man tries to not speak for a full year, which scared me a little. This was one creepy episode and the main hero goes nuts trying to figure out the year without speaking.

Shadow Play - A man is going to die, but he believes he's in a dream, and is going crazy trying to tell everyone else...another paradox and something that is so scary, it nearly hurts.

The Mind and the Matter - Metal powers are the subject of this one, and our main hero tries to change the world around him, but it's not so easy being so powerful, as we find out, in the Twilight Zone.

Will The Real Martian Please Stand Up - There is a new passenger on a bus, and he's not of this world! I liked the paranoia on this episode, as it can have clear parallels with the world we live in today.

The Obsolete Man - The title reminded me of a NOFX song, but the actual episode is a great way to end the season. A new world is created where books are banned and a librarian is being put on trial because the world no longer needs him. Burgess Meredith plays a great role here and it's quite compelling.

So there you have it, a quick rundown of Season 2 of the Twilight Zone. I loved this season, and look forward to checking out more from the classic show. It's funny to see how many new movies rip off the old stories and try to pass them off as new. I loved the acting, and I love the subtle terror found in each story. I highly recommend checking these shows out again.

Twilight Zone 2

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Friday The 13th 4: The Final Chapter Review

friday the 13th 4

The year was 1984 and your writer (Me) was only a year old when this movie came out. This was titled the final chapter and it was the fourth film in the franchise slasher series, and guess what? It wasn't! No one really cares, but this movie did so well that the Paramount Pictures crew couldn't stop themselves from cashing in one more time, but until I review the fifth film, I'm going to talk about this one. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter stars some heavy hitters in mainstream 80's cinema. The film starred Kimberly Beck, Erich Anderson and Corey Feldman, yes that Corey Feldman.

The movie once again goes back to the Crystal Lake area and is interesting to note. The plot revolves around Jason heading to the morgue and guess what? He's not dead, so he immediately stars killing on his way back to the lake. The plot moves forward to showcase another set of idiot kids trying to find some good times out by the Crystal Lake area. This of course doesn't bode well for them and as Jason predictably moves forward, he starts to kill off so many different people.

You've seen this plot recycled so many times, and there's nothing that I can say to revamp what you see on screen. There is gratuitous sex, there is violence, there is more gore, and some interesting points of view. There is a great deal of gore compared to the other three films, and it's surprising. Somehow the censors didn't have a problem with this version of the film and you get to see a great deal of entertainment.

Sure, just like a FPS game this movie is on rails and you just watch a feast of blood, then you get the ending. I like the ending, Jason gets mopped up by Corey Feldman's character and he hacks away at Jason and we assume he's dead, until he comes back to life in another film.

As an entertainment value, this movie is good. I like it. I think that it's a good step in the series, although I don't hold it in a higher regard than it already is. You've already seen this movie several times in different incarnations, so therefore, you won't be surprised by anything that happens. That's not to say that you should watch it, it's just going to fail to impress those that already like the film, and isn't going to win anyone over. The funny thing is, after watching this film, I went back to playing the Nintendo 8-Bit game. I love it. If you haven't seen Friday the 13th 4 you should check it out, it's awesome.

friday the 13th 4


I was looking through some memorabilia related to Jason, and I found 2 amazing things I had to share.

jason vorhees

First and foremost, this sick Friday the 13th Jason Voorhees life size Animated PROP! YES, I kid you not! This is a 77 inch animated figure and once you press the start button he starts moving! This thing is sick, and plugs in, and if you have a haunted house or something, you're going to want to get this one. It's priced at $370 but it's well worth it.

friday the 13th toy

The second is another action figure, but not just any action figure, this Mezco Toyz Cinema of Fear toy is very detailed and sick looking. It's 7 inches tall and it's directly from this film, it looks awesome and it's not cheap. Priced at $329, it's for die hard fans.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Total Recall Review

Total Recall

I was only 7 years old when my mom and her boyfriend dragged me to see this movie. My mom was awesome, she had no major filter, she let me watch whatever, and this Rated R movie was just another piece to my childhood, and it allowed me to blossom into the little horror fan that I used to be, and the big horror idiot that I am now. Total Recall is a classic, it has a better plot than Inception,a nd features some great moments for both horror movie fans and science fiction fans alike.

Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in this movie alongside some other people, but who cares right? This movie was based on a story by Philip Dick and was loose on plot after it was introduced. The main focus of the film concerns a construction worker, tired of his life away from Mars and wants to get back to the Red planet, but when his wife doesn't let him, he goes to a dream factory in which he can get a memory implant to let him become a Mars resident and super spy. When the implant doesn't work out and his repressed memory comes to the forefront of his mind, the movie goes out of control with a secret police chasing him, and the movie's plot gets wilder and more unpredictable.

The first major piece of this movie that I loved was the interactions of Doug Quaid (Arnold) and Sharon Stone. The fight scene that they have was quite good, and Sharton Stone is hot! The two have a nice fight in their apartment, and then things get better and better as Arnold runs throughout Earth and eventually to mars. The second piece that I enjoyed was the gore. There was a lot of gore in this movie, with some nice fights, gun play, explosions, and even a head exploding!

There is some nudity, and some interesting sexual points, but nothign too much. The three breasted alien lady was a nice little touch in the mid point of the film, even if it was an after thought of the Alien bar.

The rest of the film is relatively predictable, and msot of it just ends up being a little boring, but not before the one liners get ramped up more and more. Including the famous line where Arnold's character takes a huge drill to a tank and yells out, "SCREW YOU", getting the driver into a bloody mess inside the cockpit of the rover-drill.

I hate the whole identity crisis thing, and it's something that I've written about in the past on this blog. Memory repression, lack of memory, and the same thing that plagued Inception for me, is found here. I never liked it, and I still don't like. While I am ok with it here, I hate how lazy it is in story telling and it's one of the over used tricks of the trade.

Visually, this film is very appealing, even after all these years. There are some very stupid graphics, there are some terrible one liners, but the over the top violence, chase sequences, editing, and musical score made this one a great overall cool film to watch. It's funny to note that this film got an X-rating, but was later given an R rating.

I love how the filming of the film happened in Mexico City (which is one of my home towns) and the subway did in fact look much more futuristic than I am used to. The movie did so well at the box office that they wrote a second film and it was never filmed, it later became Minority Report, which no one cared for or watched.

Total Recall has its flaws. I did find myself laughing at several non-comedic points. However, I liked the picture of the future, and I really loved watching Sharon Stone (a much younger one). Arnold's one liners aren't as comedic as they were much later in his career, and the violence, gore, and plot points come at you fast and easy. I found myself wanting to see the special features on this disc, but instead, I just watched it again with a bag of popcorn. Total Recall is best viewed in blu ray here.

total recall


total recall nes

I recently enjoyed playing the Total Recall video game for the NES 8-Bit system. I love the NES and this game is challenging, and similar to Contra on some levels. You play as Doug Quaid rolling through different levels and fight off villains. There are a lot of crappy points in this game, but it's worth checking out if you're into Nintendo. They also made a game for the Commodore 64, and good luck if you loved that game. The NES game got some terrible reviews, but screw them, this game rules. You can buy Total Recall for the NES here.

They also made a one shot comic book series that adapted the story well. DC Comics published it in the early 90's, but most recently news broke that they would be reviving the Total Recall franchise first with comic books, than with a new reboot, albeit, nothing has surfaced about a release date. It can't possibly live up to how awesome this original film was.